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Home

September 1 -- I wrote this post exactly two months ago in June, then let it sit and stir amidst all the half written drafts- thinking it was missing something or another. Eventually it only collected dust, as it faded away as a priority.  Re-reading this made me realize, whether or not it’s missing elements, it is completely fine, because it captures my raw state of mind during that period of time.

HOME.

Bachelors. Check. Five years in Toronto. Check.

What’s next? A job in Toronto? Explore Southeast Asia for a few months? Move back to Vancouver? That unemployed life for 6 months?

Home.. this word evokes so many emotions. For some it may be cherished memories fighting over the last braised chicken leg with siblings, for some it may be a source of empty longing. When I think of home, sometimes it reminds me of lazy Sunday mornings waking up to the sound of raindrops spattering against the drain pipes. Sometimes it reminds me of the people I grew up with… Sometimes it's lazing on the couch watching TV with my amah (Taiwanese for grandmother) in Taipei. Home to many is one location. Where is home?

In the five years of being in Toronto, I never thought of this city as “home”. I was merely a guest in the city, temporarily overstaying my stay until graduation. When I decided to move to Taiwan, I was ecstatic for the new chapter that would follow.  It would not be a problem to pick up and leave. Yet, the weeks leading up to April, there was the gradual realization that I developed something like a family here. March has been a bittersweet realization of goodbyes and April will be (was) a whirlwind of new beginnings.

I decided to pack up my life into four suitcases and ship myself all the way across the Pacific Ocean to Taiwan. Back home - the place I’ve lived for for a few years as an infant, and a couple of years in middle school. I usually visit every year over breaks, but asides from that, my impression of Taiwan concluded of night markets, cheap eats, shaved ice and my family. It didn't really sink in what moving to Taiwan after graduation would be like. When I arrived at the Taoyuan International Airport, pushing a cart topped with two suitcases, a large hockey duffel bag, a heavily duct taped cardboard moving box and a carry on suitcase, strapped with my Lululemon duffel bag, I realized..

I packed too much.. Also shipped three boxes to Vancouver

I'm still a kid at heart. Always traveling with Biggie Spencer from Wongfu Productions

I found a job and started working much sooner than anticipated. Within a month and half of moving back, I stumbled upon my current job. Timing was a huge aspect in how things turned out. The original plan was to take May and June off to rest, relax, and travel, before hopping into the job search. But anyone who knows me, knows that I struggle sitting on my butt twiddling my thumbs. Even in my spare time, I would throw out my resume to random job postings, of which not even expecting a reply to half of them. Who knew that a week later, after an interview, I was somehow employed.

It’s been a month since I started working. Getting into the daily grind, along with the learning curve at work, it’s kept me busy. Though I may fluently speak and listen to mandarin and have a basic everyday reading and writing comprehension for Chinese, (enough to get by seemingly like a local) living in Taiwan is still a comparable experience - one that takes adjusting to. There are still noticeable differences from growing up in a western environment, or the freedom of living alone, though the language barrier is probably the biggest hurdle that I am combating. Not to say that I am not adaptable, rather it is a different way of life that I am accustomed to. It's as if these distinctions are highlighted and stare at you glaringly until you acknowledge it. Hahaha that might be slightly over exaggerated, but it essentially nudges at you.

Overall, there hasn't been much time for the realization to sink it. Guess it takes a few stages. I still can’t shrug off the nagging feeling that I am only here temporarily. Maybe for a year or two and I’ll be back on a plane, with my whole life packed up in suitcases, back to North America.

TAIWAN WILL BE HOME... FOR NOW.

Still learning how to edit these lights

I END IT OFF TODAY WITH ONE OF MY FAVOURITE POEMS BY

LANG LEAV

.

WANDERING STAR

She walks the earth freely, yet her feet never touch the ground. Many hands will reach for her, but she cannot be anchored. She belongs to no one, to nothing, to nowhere. When you meet her, you will recognize her for who she is – a free spirit, a wandering star. She will fit into your arms like she was made to be there. And she will show you what it means to hold something you can never hold onto.