thomastheteaspoon

[thomastheteaspoon]

[thomastheteaspoon]

Im going to eat one of Marius' horses for dinner if I don't get my fucking viola back

@vonraumstherapy

[thomastheteaspoon]

reblorged

[thomastheteaspoon]

stop being silly in front of me

[thomastheteaspoon]

its crazy that a lot of what we call 'video essays' these days are basically low budget documentaries on increasingly weird and niche topics. no network approval no tv budget just one guy with maybe a hired editor/writer and a couple of friends willing to read voice lines. and then they put it on youtube like its no big deal. insane.

[thomastheteaspoon]

me, sitting on a throne barechested but wearing ornately engraved plate armor on my arms and legs and cloaked in fine almost translucent silks with an enormous snake draped over my shoulders: i got lost in the fantasy of this dope outfit and forgot what kinda post i was gonna make

[thomastheteaspoon]

Oh, you're reading this in bed past 23:00pm? That's sweet

FLASH BANG

[thomastheteaspoon]

i love this website i just feel at home here you know

[thomastheteaspoon]

Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

[thomastheteaspoon]

Hey imagine having a garden separated from the street by a high wall, and then building a ramp to your garden with a cat door at human head level, both at just the right height so your dog can peer outside without bothering anyone.

This way, the dog can safely observe the world outside and judge everyone without any risk of someone getting out or in. And why would you want the cat flap on human head level? Simple. Anubis mural.

[thomastheteaspoon]

Y'know, I would care a lot less about the memeification of male pregnancy if there wasn't such a massive overlap between people who memeify it and people who throw a massive tantrum when trans men and mascs ask for even the bare minimum of inclusion in reproductive rights.

[thomastheteaspoon]

they should invent a bus that never gets stuck in traffic because it's on its own path separated from the roads. and then chain multiple of them together and put it on rails. has anyone had this idea before.

[thomastheteaspoon]

The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

[thomastheteaspoon]

TOP BOYS by @QUEERGARDEN

[thomastheteaspoon]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

[thomastheteaspoon]

can I come over and look at you like this

[thomastheteaspoon]