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floxiewolf122
Floxie
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simpleasthat5
Simpleasthat5
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I'm so detached from reality. I spend all this time fantasising about my crush like he's some fictional being. Like there's this protective screen between us where I can just watch him from a distance and not have to worry about anything happening between us. I forget that he's real and capable of liking me back. And if that happened I'd panic like crazy. I need to ground myself. Remember where I am and what's real.
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Is it weird how watching my crush angrily stitch a man's jaw shut with his sleeves rolled up like this- >
-while breathing heavily and cursing at the corpse was the most turned on I've been in years? Yeah. Am I ashamed of it? Yeah. Do I hit myself with a hammer sometimes because the thoughts aren't helpful to me they only make it worse oh god
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I wish I could control my crushes, honestly this is fucking shit. It was nice at first. I had butterflies and this sweet, sunny feeling in the pit of my stomach. Now it just feels like there are angry wasps banging around in my heart and stinging everything. I hate it I don't want this feeling anymore. It hurts.
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Didn't realise how bad the crush was until today. He told me I won't see him for 2 weeks and when I drove away I started crying. What the actual fuck
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Still coming to terms with the fact that I look like a fucking garden gnome tbh
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Playing a silly game called Builder's block. It's where I hit myself with a hammer every time I unsuccessfully block out a memory.
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I just saw a young woman (about 20y/o) skipping down the street on her own. She didn't look drunk or anything. She just looked happy. I'd give anything to have that confidence.
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I parked the private ambulance outside my neighbour's house while her nurse was leaving and the nurse looked at me like ??? She must've been thinking 'wtf I only just left her'
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Just found out that my crush has been having sex with his wife behind my back
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Got into a car crash on the motorway. I don't feel it, but I'm lucky. I'm lucky I survived. I'm lucky I didn't hurt anyone. I just feel so stupid. I was angry with life and I let my emotions control me and I drove too fast. I could've killed myself or someone else. I don't want to get in a car ever again.
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