thoughtdevoid-a-blog

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floyd has a fancy new blog @thoughtdevoid

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i have too many blogs already but god.... i miss floyd :(

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‘TEN’ BY PEARL JAM  :   STARTER SENTENCES  !

 I   switched   up   the   phrasing   of   some   of   the   lyrics   to   make   sense ; feel   free   to   change   things   to   suit   your   needs,    like   pronouns,   tenses,    etc.   Warning   for   explicit   lyrics  ,     gun  mentions  ,   general   sadness   ,   blah  blah  .

ONCE  .

“I got a sixteen gauge buried under my clothes.” “Once upon a time I could control myself.” “You think I got my eyes closed, but I’m lookin’ at you the whole fuckin’ time.” “Once upon a time I could love myself.” “Once upon a time I could love you.”

EVEN FLOW  .

“Maybe he’ll see a little better set of days.” “He can’t help that when he’s happy he looks insane.” “Thoughts arrive like butterflies.” “You’re praying to something that has never showed you anything.”

ALIVE  . 

“Oh, have I got a little story for you.” “While you were sittin’ home alone at age thirteen, your real daddy was dying.” “I’m still alive.” “I’m ready for you.” “I can’t remember anything to this very day.” “Is something wrong?” “I’m still alive, but oh, do I deserve to be?” “Is that the question?”

WHY GO  .

“Maybe someday another child won’t feel as alone as I do.” “It’s been two years and counting.” “She’s been diagnosed by some stupid fuck.” “Why go home?” “She seems to be stronger, but what they want her to be is weak.” “Don’t come visit.” “What you taught me put me here.”

BLACK  .

“And all I taught her was everything.” “I know she gave me all that she wore.” “The pictures have all been washed in black.” “Twisted thoughts spin around my head.” “Now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything.” “I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life,  and I know you’ll be a star in somebody else’s sky, but why can’t it be, can’t it be mine?”

JEREMY  .

“The dead lay in pools of maroon below.” “Daddy didn’t give attention to the fact that Mommy didn’t care.” “I remember picking on the boy.” “We unleashed a lion.” “How could I forget?” “Try to forget this.”

OCEANS  .

“We’re allowed to dream of the next time we touch.” “You don’t have to stray two oceans away.” “Please stand by the shore.” “I will be there once more.”

PORCH  .

“What the fuck is this world running to?” “You didn’t leave a message.” “At least I could have learned your voice one last time.” “Would you hit me?” “Take a good look.” “This could be the day.” “Hold my hand.”

GARDEN  .

“I don’t question our existence, I just question our modern needs.” “After all is done, we’re still alone.” “I don’t show, I don’t share, I don’t need what you have to give.” “I don’t know, I don’t care, I don’t need you for me to live.”

RELEASE  .

“I see the world and feel the chill.” “Oh, dear dad, can you see me now?” “I am myself, but still like you somehow.” “I’ll ride the wave where it takes me.” “I’ll hold on to the pain.” “I’ll wait up in the dark for you to speak to me.” “I’ll open up.” “Release me.”

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PINKMANIPULATED 

in a manner matching his doppelgänger, jesse squints back at the boy. it’s hard to be offended when this kid’s like looking into the mirror.   “ uh, never by someone who looks like ME. yo, what the hell? ”   hoodie-clad arms outstretch, a bewildered but amused look upon his face.   “ dude, what are you, like, my long lost brother? ghost ‘a christmas past? ”

he scoffs, a little over-dramatically, ❛ i sure as hell hope you ain’t my future, ❜ he looks his older counterpart up and down again, ❛ you’re dressed like a fucking clown, god, did they run outta size small at the zumiez? ❜ 

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@feargods || LIKED. KINDA.

there weren’t many people floyd felt he could be himself around, benji might have been the only one. the faintest signs of a smile start to show on the teenagers face, it’s the rare occurrence of a genuine one coming from him ❛ y’know, there are times when i think, man, i wish i was more like you, ❜ he pauses, for dramatic effect, starting to laugh, ❛ then i remember how much of a little BITCH you are, and i’m like nah, screw that. ❜ 

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@pinkmanipulated || LIKED.

floyd lets out a low, gravelly laugh, eyes squinting in examination of jesse. ❛ hey, ❜ head tilts so the side slightly and his eyes squint, as if to get a better sight of him, ❛ has anyone ever told you? you got one UGLY mug. ❜

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hey!! i’m back with new icons made from caps given to me by an angel so muse is high and i’m finally gonna start doing these here! like for a starter at some point 

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i love floyd so much so why don’t i WRITE HIM

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“Whats UP YOUTUBE! Today we gonna do another Unboxing Video!” *a shovel in hand, I enter the Graveyard*

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C0KEHEAD 

“ But I have to take a leak .”  Despite this , Tate lingered by the heavy school door that fell close behind him ; He leaned against it , his rucksack slipping down his shoulder until it carelessly hit the ground and he was left just holding onto the strap . It was a strange , and uncomfortable , circumstance . Seeing Floyd with so much raw emotion . He was torn between simply doing his business without another word , or offering to leave him alone and go to the bathroom that was upstairs  ( but that would make him late to his next class .)  A plump bottom lip was caught between his teeth , worried at anxiously , and Tate decided on a third option that was probably his poorest idea .  “ What’s the matter ??”  He asked .  “ Did something happen ??”

More so than usual , he guessed he meant . Tate went through similar struggles as a socially - inept loner ; The aggression that came from his peers for no good reason other than because they enjoyed causing misery in others . He’ll never get it , he’ll never understand it . Something full of rage and violent lurked deep with Tate Langdon , but he never let it show , because he didn’t like causing pain in others .  “ Personally , when I gotta get a cry in before class , I go outside . You know that backdoor that’s right by the gymnasium ?? That fire alarm doesn’t work on it , so you can go out that way . Just made sure you stick the rug or something in it so you can get back inside .”

tate isn’t leaving, and floyd is so surprised — he’s not used to having anyone stick around. this isn’t the first time someone has come upon floyd like this, there are times when everything just becomes TOO MUCH and he needs to let it out, usually triggered by something that can be extremely simple like failing a test or someone calling him a distasteful name in the halls. the few times it’s happened before, whoever discovered him either turned the other way or took to taunting him. so, when tate asks floyd what’s the matter he’s practically shocked — and hopes it’s not some kind of trick. 

floyd doesn’t answer him though, instead he looks up from staring down at the sink drain, gaze falling onto his reflection in the dirty bathroom mirror. his eyes are all red and puffy. he doesn’t look at himself for too long before turning his back to the mirror, then leaning onto the sink and raising a hand to pass it over his face. 

‘ usually i do it in the locker room, when no one is around. swim team’s practicing in there right now though, so, ’ he gestures to the environment around them, still mostly put off at tate’s behavior. at how accepting he was of the fact that floyd was hanging out crying in the bathroom right before chem lab. his eyes turn to the blonde, looking him up and down, examining him ‘ do you actually do that? or are you just MESSING with me? ’

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I don’t know what to do when you make me sad…

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@c0kehead || LIKED.

floyd considered high school to be a specially crafted kind of HELL, made just for him. among his peers he didn’t consider a single one to be a real friend, even thought some — or most of them were BENEATH him. the best he had was acquaintances, who were the few people he didn’t hold any hatred for at his school, the people who never fucked with him or laughed at him. tate was one of such person. though he’d barely ever said a word to tate, floyd appreciated his overall indifference. 

he was just fine with the extent of their communication being occasionally walking past each other in the hallways, up until tate caught him CRYING in the boys bathroom. floyd clenched onto the porcelain sink so tightly his knuckles were white as a sheet, blue eyes brimming with tears and breath heavy. he was momentarily snapped out of if when he heard someone come in — tate, he was glad it wasn’t someone who he was sure was going to pound him just for crying, but he still wanted no company. ‘ JESUS, would you beat it, langdon? ’ 

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@methdrip || LIKED. 

he think she he’s jesse’s bad side. everything negative in jesse manifested into a single being, not quite THERE for anyone’s else. he’s jesse’s, and jesse’s alone. he has one good thing of jesse’s, his face — other people seem to like it, at least. maybe he’s jesse’s conscience, if he his, he’s doing a really bad job. 

‘ you’ve really DONE IT this time, jess, ’ he looks over at jesse with a scowl, that then fades and transforms into a sly smirk, ‘ you’ve royally FUCKED us. no house, no money, and the rv is still with badger’s cousin. ya got nothing. bet you’re wishing you had some more reliable friends right now, then again, they probably just didn’t want you crushing at their pace ‘cause it’s y’know — YOU. ’