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Driving home

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Before finding out you're a system:

After finding out you're a system:

- Kyle (He/Him)

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when new alter fronts for the first time;

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Prompt #1,282

Fictive A discovers some new merch of their source!

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Prompt #1,312

System A is a musician as a hobby, and the pieces they play depend on the tastes of whomever is fronting.

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Prompt #1,313

Headmate A and Headmate B have been dancing around their feelings for a while now, and the rest of the system is starting to get fed up. Would they just admit their crushes on each other already?!

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Prompt #1,323

"You're so needy," Headmate A teased Headmate B, who pouted back at them.

"Shut up. You'd want to kiss me if I were the one who just came out of dormancy."

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This has been in our drafts for ages, but a recent poll we reblogged got us thinking about it again, so here's a tip for other systems (especially newly discovered systems) that we consider very helpful

Sometimes, being a system can feel dehumanizing or like you've lost control of your life. You have to share everything with the other people in your body – where's your privacy? Where's your individuality? What can you do to carve out something of your own in the world? These kinds of questions, even if said with other sentiments, can be a struggle to answer as a system.

However, my system – inspired by other systems we've seen doing this – have a solution! Or at least, part of one. You'll still likely have to go through some emotional work to answer the above questions and find what's most comfortable for you. But for us, when one of us is feeling insecure or needs some individuality, there's something simple we do...

... We give each other gifts!

Or, more accurately, we choose something we want or have to be a certain system member's possession. It could be a project, a shirt, a toy, whatever works for them! Then they get to establish rules about the other system members touching Their Thing™, and have the most important say in anything regarding it. This isn't to say that other members would necessarily never get to touch or use that thing again, but rather, that the system member who it belongs to would get to choose on what terms others are allowed to touch it, the same way you might set a rule with a roommate about touching your things.

For example, Chara's Thing™ is a green cardigan. When we're going somewhere and they're going to be fronting for at least a majority of the time, they decide if we're going to pack it, and if they want to leave it at home or wear it out on bad days when they could use the comfort. They're alright with the rest of us wearing it if we want, but would prefer we be extra careful about not staining or losing it. If there was a situation where we'd have to negotiate on the cardigan, like if we needed space in a suitcase that the cardigan was taking up, we would have a discussion on how to compromise in the situation so that everyone is happy, such as what other things we could take out of the suitcase instead of the cardigan, or if we could wear the cardigan on our trip instead of packing it. Chara would get the final say in this discussion, but it's unlikely that we'd all end up unhappy.

We have other examples of this, too. Alterisa has a writing project she doesn't mind if we work on as long as we check with her before publishing, Kitten has a plushie she likes to bring when we travel, and Tempo's looking into getting a blue and green shirt to be more comfortable with our wardrobe. All of these things make them feel more secure in our system, and more comfortable with sharing most of our life since they always have something they can call their own.

If you're struggling with your individuality as part of a system, try starting with one small thing as your own! Choose something for yourself, establish some boundaries for others interacting with it, and enjoy having something to call your own. It doesn't have to be anything big – it could be as simple as a music playlist or a cool rock you found. Hang in there; life can be tough, but you can be tough, too.

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We use proxying as well, it's essential for our communication as a P-DID system ^^ Almost forgot the term honestly! The system member in question essentially tells me the exact phrasing of what they want to say, and then I type it down as well as possible. Sometimes translation is hard but it's part of my role making sure everyone gets the socialization they want out here.

This is an old one... all the way back in July. So first, sorry for not getting to this before.

Second... it's really cool that you're willing to do that for everyone who needs it! 💖

Proxying is probably one of the most underrated skills in a system's arsenal. Especially if they struggle with switching. Whether they're unable to switch, or just get headaches when they do it too much, it's always good to be able to fall back on proxying when you can.

It also REALLY needs to be more well-known given the number of fakeclaimers who seem convinced that the only way headmates can possibly type is when they're fully in front.

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Fictive Etiquette Guide

One of the things we’ve noticed as a fictive heavy system is that a lot of singlets have no idea how to talk to fictives. When one of us whose pluralkit proxy obviously marks us as a fictive sends a message in a predominantly singlet discord server, there’s this odd thing that happens where the conversation stalls for seemingly no reason. Especially if we mention something related to being a fictive.

We don’t think this is out of malice, it’s just awkwardness. People who’ve had very little interaction with the plural community aren’t likely to know how to talk to fictives. The short answer to that is to talk to us like people, but we thought we’d write out some tips to help our well-meaning but uninformed singlet friends. Disclaimer that we’re just one system, and these tips come from our own experiences. We can’t speak for other systems

Tip 1: We aren’t RPers or ask blogs, don’t ask us questions like we are. We won’t be answering from the perspective of our source characters, but from the perspective of a person who exists in this world and happens to have some things in common with that character. Apply the same rules you would if you were asking a non-fictive about their life

Tip 2: When we talk about our exomemories, that’s not an invitation to treat them like our source media. Don’t try to analyze them like a piece of media, or make light of our trauma. Those memories feel as real to us as yours do to you, be respectful

Tip 3: Don’t fangirl over us. We aren’t your favorite character come to life. Seriously, this is just weird and uncomfortable. Also, don’t bring up your ships that involve our source characters to us

Tip 4: If we’re in a fandom space, assume we’re comfortable there. We can make our own decisions about how and when (and if) we want to engage with our source’s fandom. We may leave suddenly if things get weird or uncomfortable, but that’s just us looking after ourselves without derailing the conversation. Generally though, don’t feel the need to modify your discussions on our account unless we ask you to

Tip 5: We aren’t some sideshow attraction to be gawked at. If you think of our identities as weird or cringey, that’s going to show in your interactions with us, and it always sucks. Your internal feelings about fictives are something for you to work through, don’t expect us to put up with you treating us like a freak show

Tip 6: Don’t judge us by our source characters. We didn’t get a say in it, neither did anyone else in our system. Having a fictive of a character doesn’t mean the system likes that character or condones their canon actions. Depending on the system, it might not even mean we know very much about that character. Some systems (like ours) will sometimes get fictives of characters we know very little about

Tip 7: Don’t assume we’re the same as our source characters. We might be very similar, or we might be nothing at all like them. Our exomemories could be drastically different, or we could come from an AU. Our personality, gender, sexuality, and personal history might be different than you expect. Also, don’t judge our identities the way you would a headcanon. If our source character is bi but we’re gay, that’s not bi erasure

Tip 8: We’re people first, fictives second. Start there, with the understanding that we’re not really all that different from the non-fictives in our system that you’ve already talked to. It doesn’t have to be awkward

This isn’t a comprehensive list, it’s just a few tips based on our experiences being openly plural and fictive heavy online. Other fictives, feel free to add your own tips, or things you wish singlets knew or understood. Just don’t get syscourse-y, we don’t wanna deal with that

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we thought this meme was funny so we made it plural lol -vurr

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HONESTLY I HOPE SOME OF OUR FRIENDS WE'RE NOT OUT TO SEE US REBLOGGING FROM THEM AND CHECK OUT THIS ACCOUNT... I HATE BEING IN THE CLOSET GRAAAAAHHHH -PK

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im winning so bad with my intersystem crush >///< -vurr

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A friendly reminder for literally everyone, including systems and including the rest of this system

In general, systems do not control what introjects show up.

I have been actively attacked by singlets, systems, and other parts within my own system for being a South Park fictive. The most hurtful things I’ve heard are from other parts within the system. I’ve been called a mistake, I’ve been told I wasn’t supposed to exist by members of my own system. The system has been judged by others for my existence. They don’t even watch South Park that much, they just watch it when our brother puts it on. Even if they did, that’s not a reason to attack me or them for my existence.

No one could control who I am. Certainly I couldn’t. I didn’t want this. Do you know how hurtful it is to be called a mistake and told you don’t deserve to live to your face? Actually, I’m sure many of you do. Many of you have been hurt like that, so maybe don’t do the same thing to introjects from problematic sources. Nobody wanted this. Nobody chose this. It’s not fair to judge and hate for it.

-Kenny

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You can/are making a difference for all plurals out there.

Just a reminder, that you being unapologetically yourself, and not being afraid of being a system, is spreading awareness of plurality, and can/will change the world. You just by being yourself has power to Revolutionize the world.

If you are only out to fellow systems, just being there and supporting other plurals is making a difference.

If you teach non-system friends the basics that makes a difference.

If you are open about being plural, That normalizes Plurality, and makes it easier for people to empathize!

If you are a advocate fighting for systems to be treated equally, You are helping.

There is so many more ways that just being yourself helps others, but just keep doing what you are doing! All of this is important. All of this will help future systems.

-Revolution

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If you're starting external communication with your system (communicating with them through external means, such as video, notes, a diary, etc), the most useful tip I think I can give to you is to say whatever comes to mind, and don't hold yourself/ves to some strict format.

Communication is not just about making up for any amnesia you may have between headmates. It's also a way to get to know your headmates better, to build up trust between you and provide a basis for healthy systemhood (whether you choose to keep things like that or pursue final fusion in the future). While a format can help for recording whatever information is most important, it doesn't leave a lot of room for any of that trust stuff I just mentioned. If you have a format that helps you, great! But don't be afraid to add some of your own notes or sentiments, or reach out to other headmates. Otherwise, how else are you meant to build a relationship with them? You are not secret agents who will never see each other again after this one mission; professional reports can only get you so far. Tell a joke! Remark on something you liked! Vent a bit! Say whatever comes to mind! At the end of the day, you can think of it like this – you are not just recording your actions, but your thoughts, too, and when you're trying to make of record of things you might forget, the latter is much easier to forget than the former.

This isn't meant as a critique of formats for recording memories or talking to headmates or whatever – those things work for a reason, and if they help you, you probably shouldn't drop them without good reason. But just remember that external communication is about more than formats for recording the daily goings-on in your life. It's about communication, and all that communication can bring.