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thoughts-of-rue · 4 years ago

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warmth

She noses his cheek gently as Levi lets out his trademark tch, smiling against his skin. “So who’s really prettier?” Levi looks at her as though she’s stupid, and refuses to dignify her with an answer. “Do you really need me to say it?” “Yes,” she says automatically, eyes twinkling eagerly, “I want to hear it.”

starring: cuddling in bed, reader and levi both being lil shits to each other, and our dear captain coming down with a fever

a/n: just one left to upload after this! once that's done i can make a masterlist on tumblr and begin posting the first chapter of the new story. reminder that you don't have to read any other works in this series to enjoy this!

Somehow, by some miracle, Levi is actually sleepy by 11 PM. It might be her fault, but she thinks it’s more fair to blame Commander Erwin for delegating work away from his favorite soldier. The blatant favoritism from that man, honestly. Levi gets less work that day and by extension so does she, and so the two of them find themselves with extra time. And what is there to do with extra time, one might wonder. Well, what better thing to do than sneak into Levi’s quarters and not so subtly seduce him?

To his credit, Levi did resist. It took her locking the door, sashaying up to him, a few kisses here and there and everything aside from just stationing herself on his lap to get him over his concerns about professionalism. It’s fun when he gives in to anything, because then his goal is to make her regret ever asking him in the first place. It’s not like she’s propositioning him, but he certainly acts like she is.

So about five rounds later, after a good hour of harsh panting and hair tugging and embarrassing mewling, she falls back into the pillow and finds that Levi is actually tired for once. She takes it as a compliment.

She wastes no time curling around behind him, arms around his waist and face buried in his neck. Her legs curl around his until she’s spooning him good and proper, and then she presses a kiss to his cheek. She’s too exhausted to do more, but she doesn’t think that she could ever be tired of nuzzling up to him like this.

Levi’s eyes are closed, but he holds her hand gently, and she’s pretty sure he’s drifting off.

Usually it’s her drifting off at this time, but tonight, there’s something on her mind - in fact, it’s her entire reason for being so amorous today.

“Hey,” she whispers, kissing the shell of his ear. Levi shudders, but his eyes remain closed.

“Hm?”

“Have you met the new cadets?”

“Did a whole meet and greet,” he mutters, “got to know each of them personally after asking them what they wanted for their military welcome gift.”

She rolls her eyes at his sarcasm. “So no?”

“I saw ‘em. Why?”

“Lunch time.” She ran her hands along his bare chest, continuing to press soft kisses to every part of his skin that’s available. “The blonde one. Pigtails. Cute. Couldn’t keep her fucking eyes off you.”

Levi snorts derisively. “Okay.”

She wonders if he’s too sleepy to really listen to her right now. It’s so strange talking to him when he’s drowsy, but there’s an odd coziness to it as well. Not for the first time, she’s enamored by this show of vulnerability. Levi in all his glory, defenseless and naked on top of it all, with only a thin blanket and and her arms around him. It’s not a sight she’s going to tire of anytime soon.

“Do you know which one I’m talking about?” she prods further, gazing down at him,

He nods slowly, face further buried into the pillow. She almost feels bad for not letting him sleep, but it’s not like he hasn’t kept her awake too, both before and after the start of their relationship.

“So?”

“So what?”

“Do you think she’s pretty?”

Levi’s response comes ridiculously quickly. “Yeah. She’s the prettiest girl I’ve seen in awhile, actually.”

She gapes, and then scoffs disbelievingly. “Oh, is that so?”

“Downright gorgeous, actually,” he mumbles uncaringly.

Immediately, she pulls away from him, arms crossed with a deep scowl on her face. “Fine, then dream of her tonight, jerk.”

He doesn’t respond, and she thinks he’s fallen asleep. The fucking nerve of this man, to not only notice the young girl crushing on him but actively call her pretty, gorgeous, and not soothe her own insecurities. Sure, she’s the one in bed with him now and she’s just a little sure Levi’s in love with her, but that’s not the point right now. The point is that he’s supposed to tell her she’s the prettiest girl, not just in the Scouts, but the entire world (it’s not that big). That’s not too much to expect. At the very least, even if he doesn’t compliment her, Levi doesn’t have to sing praises for this girl who he hasn’t even properly met. Fuck him.

Well, she’s already done that, but not literally this time.

Just in case he’s not fully asleep yet, she lets out offended huffs every few seconds, and then presses her cold feet to his unusually warm ones pettily. At first, he releases no indication that he notices or cares, but after she lets out a particularly long, pitiful sigh, he turns around and is on top of her within a second.

“Are you going to keep that up all night?” He bears down on her, slamming her wrist down when she tries to push him off. Apparently he’s not as sleepy as she first thought.

“If it bothers you, go find that girl with the pigtails,” she hisses, struggling against his grip, “I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to let you slip in, Captain.”

His lips quirk so briefly that she nearly misses it. Her eyes narrow. He’s toying with her.

“Maybe I will.” Levi presses a soft kiss to her lips, looking obnoxiously amused when she doesn’t kiss back. “But then where will you go?”

“Over to someone who appreciates me.”

He guffaws, nudging her neck affectionately. “You’re fucking ridiculous.”

She has an urge to tangle her fingers in his hair, to stroke it until he’s asleep against her chest and to wake up exactly like this with an annoying crick in her neck in the morning, but her pride is feeling up for a fight, so she remains unmoving, only giving him a cold look.

He traces his finger against her jaw. “Smile.”

“No.”

Again he bites down a grin at her stubbornness. “Not even for me?”

“Especially not for you,” she retorts, glaring.

Something dangerously familiar clicks in his eyes. It’s an acknowledgement, an accepted dare. It’s a relayed message that if she wants to be a hardass, he’s going to match her energy. It’s asking just who she thinks she’s being petty with. It means that she has to prepare to outdo him, no matter what he’s going to do.

“If you’re not going to smile, then get off my bed.” Without any further encouragement, he flops back down, leaving her gasping and more than a little offended. He’s not even looking at her. Well, fine, if he wants her to leave, then so be it.

With a less than dignified shriek, she rolls over and tumbles out of the bed, standing up and brushing herself off as though she planned it. Levi doesn’t spare so much as a glance in her direction as she grabs her clothes one by one. She, on the other hand, doesn’t take her furious gaze off him the entire time. He has to feel at least a little guilty for her to win this, whatever this is. She yanks on her underwear and pants first, tying her hair up tightly before then scanning around for the rest. Her shirt is by the foot of the bed, but there’s still an article missing…

“Looking for this?” Levi says dryly, holding her bra in his hand.

Her dignity won’t allow her to walk up to him and take it. She hurriedly shoves her shirt on, followed by her uniform jacket. “You can keep it. It’s the only part you care about anyways.”

He snorts derisively at what they both know is a lie. The pure gall he has, to try and paint her like some loony madwoman when he’s the one acting like an ass. This is a battle, Captain Levi, and she’s not a titan, and therefore has no reason to lose to him. She’s going to win this or die trying.

One sarcastic salute that she’s not even sure he sees, and then she turns on her heel and leaves his room. It’s not so much a walk of shame as it is a walk of rage. Her fists are clenched and there are love bites on her neck and maybe this wasn’t such a good idea and what if Erwin catches her like this but oh no she is not going back in fact she’s not even going to talk to him until he apologizes but how is she supposed to resist kissing him and giving in immediately maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all -

He’s got a headache.

He’s had a constant headache since he was born, sure, but today’s is much more vicious than usual. It feels like his head could explode at any time.

Luckily, (F/N)’s good at making him forget some of his problems in the short time they allow themselves every now and then. It’s easy to forget how badly his head his hurting when she’s with him, whether she’s dropping something by accident or blabbering on about how the Survey Corp should invest in some better hair care products for their soldiers or telling one of her stupid jokes or tugging his hair as she shoves her tongue down his throat. Yeah, it’s really easy to forget then. The issue is that she’s not here anymore, and it’s like his headache has returned with a vengeance.

Levi can’t blame her fully. Things get boring inside the walls, and while boring is infinitely more preferable to the terrifying despair on the outside, one can only handle so much paperwork and niceties without going insane. Of course she’s going to stir up drama to entertain herself. And yeah, maybe he shouldn’t be telling her how pretty he finds another girl, but he can’t help himself - she’s unknowingly hilarious when she’s angry. Plus, she knows damn well that he’s committed to her and her alone (because only commitment could make him act as pathetically soft as he does around this woman). If she wants to stir up trouble, he’s going to help her mix the ingredients.

On any other night, he’d have no regrets.

But his headache just won’t go away, and he can’t sleep.

Fuck his lieutenant slash girlfriend. He was so close to falling asleep, basking in her comfort, and then she had to go ahead and listen to him when he told her to leave. This is embarrassing - he can sleep without her, easily. As easily as he usually sleeps, at any rate. But on nights like these, where he’s desperate to close his eyes because at least once he’s asleep he doesn’t have to stress, or if he’s thinking too much about how many lives were lost in their last expedition, she’s there to look at him with her pretty eyes that understand the parts of him he’s kept hidden away for so long. She’s there to press up against him and let him breathe in her scent, a fragrance that’s become somewhat synonymous with home. Not to mention she has some freaky trick - just a few minutes of running her fingers through his hair and he’s out like a light. He’s accused her of witchcraft before, but hell if he doesn’t need that magic tonight.

No, he can do this. He can go to sleep, it’s easy. People just close their eyes and it happens. Levi turns to his side, feeling strange, and shuts his eyes tightly. After two seconds of waiting, he concludes that it’s not going to work for him. Maybe deep breathing will do the trick.

He sucks in a sharp breath and then exhales, gritting his teeth when he doesn’t immediately calm down. He tries again, and then one more time, and then once again for good measure. Why isn’t it fucking working? Frustrated, he breathes in through his nose this time.

Only to find he can’t, and that somehow the attempt makes his head throb even more.

No, no, no, no, absolutely not. He just has a headache, he’s not fucking sick. He refuses to be, who in their right mind gets sick? It might be a conscious choice for most people, but he’s not one of them. He’s not sick. He’s just not. He simply isn’t.

Despite his reservations, the way he can’t breathe in without making his migraine increase tenfold and the way he’s been feeling uncomfortably hot for the past few hours tell him he very much is.

God, he just wants to sleep, is that so much to ask? Everyone’s always telling him that he should try sleeping some time before 3 AM, and the one time he finally takes their advice, his body turns on him? Fuck this shit, he’s sick of it, and he’s sick in general, and he hates everything.

The frustration is what makes him consider that maybe he does need (F/N) to sleep, at least tonight. Whatever her magical annoying presence does, it certainly never fails to make him relax. The question is whether or not he can withstand the blow to his ego if he goes to her room and asks her to come back. She’s going to have a field day with this, probably make him grovel for forgiveness and renounce every other woman in the world before she complies.

He tries to sniff again, and decides ego be damned.

Head still pounding, Levi gets up with a groan. He curses after putting on his pants, it’s way too warm for any of his clothes. He wonders if there’s a risk of him passing out on the way. If that happens, then humanity will have to learn to fend for itself, because he’ll quit the next day.

After getting dressed, he stumbles out of his room. It feels like he’s walked a mile before he reaches the office door. Damn would some people from the Underground kill to get to him in this state, make him pay for stealing their cabbages or whatever those fucking merchants never kept a close enough eye on. He’s feeling a little delirious, imagining what he’d do if he was still back there. It was a bad time whenever someone got sick in the Underground, they were never sure if it was something minor or if the person was going to be dead by the end of the day.

If he’s going to die, he’s going to die doing some self sacrificing shit for Erwin, not because his temperature’s spiking. That’s a promise.

The female barracks are so. far. away.

When he opens the door, he sees Petra first, snoozing soundly lying on her right side. It’s weird, seeing her so...relaxed and almost carefree, as opposed to the slightly stern but overall professional woman he’s come to know. Suddenly feeling like he’s intruding on her privacy, he quickly averts his eyes. Briefly he questions how (F/N) manages to keep their weekly trysts a secret from her roommate, but he’s too tired to consider what lies she’s telling.

And on the other side of the room is the woman of the hour herself, head lolled back and one leg sticking out of the blanket. Hair loose around her shoulders, arms curled around herself as though she’s the loneliest person in the world and just needs someone to cuddle her in bed. Face half buried in her pillow, looking like nothing could bother her like this. (F/N) (L/N), in all her dreamy glory.

Is she actually asleep? It’s that fucking easy for her to go to sleep after leaving his room?

Fuck her.

Except not really, because he desperately needs her to feel better right now.

And he’s just going to ignore how much it bothers him that he can’t have this beautiful nuisance of a woman close to him whenever they want. It’s part of the job description, no Scout is really allowed to be completely happy. They can get close, and (F/N) brings him dangerously near the edge of risky, foolish happiness, but seeing her like this brings a painful reminder that things can never completely be the way they’d like.

Taking a shaky breath, Levi extends his arm and shakes her shoulder.

In a flash, she’s awake, gasping and raising her fists to whoever thinks breaking into the female barracks is an appropriate thing to do. Squinting in the dark, she makes out someone fairly short. Good. All the easier for her to pound into dust for daring to wake her up at this ungodly hour.

Then her eyes adjust, and she realizes it’s her captain slash boyfriend she’s about to punch the shit out of.

“Captain Levi?” she whispers incredulously. “What are you doing here?”

He looks downright awful, hair sticking up and face morphed into a scowl. To be fair, he’s nearly always got a sour expression, but at least he usually looks composed about it. Not this time. This time he looks like he’d watch humanity burn if that was a convenient option. Something’s clearly off.

Levi opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He makes a hand motion, beckoning her forward, as though that explains everything. She throws a wary glance at Petra, still fast asleep. What could possibly be so important that he’s risking being caught in her room? A million ideas flood her head. The beasts have broken through Wall Rose. Someone’s been assassinated. He needs her to go wake up everyone and tell them the end times are here.

“I can’t sleep,” he finally mutters, looking like he’s just seen someone murder his cat.

Well, that doesn’t sound catastrophic.

“Okay.” She furrows her brows, shaking her head in confusion. “And? You never sleep.”

“I was going to before you left, you insufferable brat. I was so close.” Levi’s eyes narrow tiredly. “I need you to do that stupid magic thing you do.”

Stupid magic thing - oh.

Her eyes gleam wickedly as the night finally rushes back to her. How the tables have turned.

“You want me to come back to your room?” She smirks at his sullen expression. “Baby boo needs someone to stroke his hair and rock him to sleep?”

Okay, maybe she’s being an asshole. Maybe she shouldn’t enjoy the way his face tenses in irritation. It’s a rather nice request and it makes her feel wanted, but Levi is the one who kicked her out. He’s the one who was singing praises for some other girl. Yeah, she’d like to see that cute cadet now, with her crush standing by the foot of his subordinate’s bed pleading with her to come help him sleep. Maybe then she’ll think twice about raking her eyes over what’s not hers. Not that she knows they’re together, of course. But still.

“Are you coming or not?” he snaps, and she’s about to fire off another round, telling him that he’s the one at fault here.

Then she notes the miserable look in his eyes as he struggles to breathe in. That’s what’s off - he doesn’t just look upset, he looks as though he’s feeling weak . And Levi and weak are so miles apart from each other that it’s jarring to associate them at all.

Eyes widening, she sits up straight on her knees, pressing her lips to his forehead. Goddamn, he could give the titans a run for their money with how warm he is.

She cups his cheek, concern flooding through her like a tsunami. “Are you sick, Captain?”

Looking very much like he’d rather die than be here admitting this to her, Levi nods, exhaling deeply.

“Look, I don’t need you to take care of me. But my head is fucking throbbing, and if I don’t go to sleep soon, I’m gonna off myself.”

She’s off the bed in an instant, grabbing her jacket quietly so as to not disturb Petra. After putting it on, she takes his hand, burning like the rest of him, and squeezes gently. “Let’s go.”

He’s looking at her strangely, and somewhat appreciatively. Without any protest, he lets her tug him out, and they’re going back to his room. Thankfully, they’re the only ones awake, and no one can witness the way she’s holding on to him, asking if he’s okay every ten steps. A flare of protectiveness is roaring inside her now. Whatever bitterness she was feeling towards him before has all but vanished, leaving only concern over his well-being.

When they reach his bed, he falls face first onto it, letting out a low groan. She winces sympathetically.

“Maybe you should -”

“I’m not going to the infirmary,” comes Levi’s voice, muffled against his pillow, “you don’t have to stay the night, just put me out of my misery. Please.”

Rolling her eyes, she approaches the bed. Obviously she’ll be staying the night, he’s so dramatic. Poor guy, though. She feels bad for leaving at all, but she plans to make up for it and more. Touching his forehead again, she frowns at just how much he’s burning up.

“Just a second,” she whispers reassuringly, kissing his forehead before leaving the room despite his quiet protests.

When she returns, she comes with a small bucket of cold water and a towel. As much as she’d love to just put him to sleep, she’s pretty sure he’ll be even more miserable if they don’t break his fever tonight. Levi’s already discarded his shirt and pants again, pained sighs and groans escaping him.

She sits next to him, wetting the towel and wringing it out thoroughly. Brushing back the hair from his forehead, she presses the towel to his face, and he closes his eyes, expression blissful against the cool cloth.

“Thanks,” he mutters in that tone of his, the one that sounds like it’s casual but actually means he truly appreciates everything she’s doing. She smiles serenely.

Not able to help herself, she leans in, scrunching her nose and murmuring in a teasing tone. “So who’s prettier now, Captain? Me or Pigtails?”

“Still her,” he grunts, but immediately grabs a hold of her wrist as though he’s nervous she’ll stop what she’s doing and storm out of his room a second time.

“I’m not leaving.” She flicks his cheek gently. “Although I damn well should. Choosing a random girl over me? That’s some cold shit, Captain.”

Levi opens his eyes. “(F/N).”

“Yeah?”

“I genuinely have no idea who the fuck this girl is.”

A light blush dusts her cheeks. Of course she was never serious about being jealous, but it’s still embarrassing that he’s able to rile her up so easily over it. Only Levi could be catching an illness and still find time to infuriate her. Just to keep her entertained, obviously. She should’ve guessed that he was just fucking with her from the start.

“Of course you don’t.” She sighs exasperatedly, dabbing his forehead gently. “Why did you feel the need to make me jealous then?”

He crosses his arms, gazing at her as though it’s obvious, but he always thinks things are obvious and they very rarely are.

“Because seeing you fired up is one of the highlights of a boring day.” He takes her hands to stop her, sitting up a little before letting her continue. “And you know this is how we work. You wanted me to say something to make you mad, don’t pretend otherwise.”

It’s a strange, mean relationship they have. Constantly pushing each other's buttons until someone backs down. There’s sweet moments too, sure, especially after expeditions or any particularly rough days. In fact, just the act of them sleeping together once a week or once every two weeks is sweet in itself, like some tragic star-crossed lovers straight out of a novel. It’s not even about sex, since they don’t necessarily feel up to it all the time, sometimes it’s just the two of them talking in close proximity until they fall asleep in each other’s arms. It’s heartwarming and nice and she never feels more at peace than when she gets to share these tender moments with him. But it’s just not her and Levi if they’re not constantly trying to one-up each other, push each other's buttons until someone relents. Tonight doesn’t entirely count, since Levi’s cheated and gotten sick, so no one wins this time around.

She noses his cheek gently as Levi lets out his trademark tch, smiling against his skin. “So who’s really prettier?”

Levi looks at her as though she’s stupid, and refuses to dignify her with an answer. “Do you really need me to say it?”

“Yes,” she says automatically, eyes twinkling eagerly, “I want to hear it.”

She’s never going to hear an I love you, so she needs to grasp at the words that are within her reach.

“You,” he says without so much as blinking, “easily you. A hundred times you. Without even knowing what she looks like, I know it’s you.”

Her heart leaps in joy and she rewards him with a brief kiss - brief only because he pushes her away weakly, scowling.

“Don’t. You’ll get sick too.”

“Worth it,” she mumbles, leaning in again.

“No, it’s not fucking worth it.” He places a hand on her cheek, presumably to turn her away, but instead she places a kiss against his palm. That mixed with the towel now pressed against his cheek is enough to make him sink into the pillow, closing his eyes with a sigh.

Oh, she loves him. She wonders if he knows just how much she loves him.

She loves him enough to decide that he’s cooled down plenty, judging by the lack of grimacing every few seconds. He still looks uncomfortable, but that’s to be expected. Besides, she can stay up for a bit and watch his fever, and wake a medic should the need arise. It’s time for her captain to submit to sleep, something he very rarely allows.

Setting the towel down, she brushes the hair from his forehead first, kissing it soothingly. Levi’s nose is scrunched in discomfort, she knows his head is hurting badly.

“Stop trying to breathe through your nose. You’ll make it worse.”

Levi scoffs, but it’s weak. “Didn’t know you had a medical degree, (L/N).”

“I mean it, Levi.” She slips her fingers in his locks, and his shoulder finally sag as he exhales deeply. Within seconds his breathing is stable, even, and he stops pushing himself and fighting his body. She begins to stroke his hair in earnest, letting his pleased sighs guide her. She’s no medic or masseuse, but she is his girlfriend and she knows fully well what feels good for him.

Her other hand finds his, and as she continues to run her hand through his hair, she leans down and starts placing light kisses all over his face. His cheeks, his nose, even over his eyelids. Her lips yearn to touch every part of his skin, to adore him and worship him and let him know just how enamored she is. Levi doesn’t so much as murmur a single protest, only encouraging her to keep going until she hears soft snoring and knows he’s finally asleep.

She smiles. It’ll be fun to tease him later about just how easy this was. For now, though, she stays right where she is, caressing him with all the gentleness she has left in her rough hands. She lets humanity’s best hope for freedom rest, looking so rarely vulnerable that people would think it’s incredible he allows anyone to see him like this. Something so simple as sleeping can seem like such an honor for anyone to see. How strange. Her lips quirk amusedly.

After checking his temperature once more, she sinks down next to him. Her hands are placed against his waist, her face is tucked into his chest. His body heat is more normal now, not overwhelmingly hot but warm enough to match her naturally cold person. She kisses his collarbone softly, smiling when his arms tighten around her. Her eyes droop and a yawn escapes her unexpectedly.

Sure, Levi fell asleep really easily, but it’s not like she’s any better - she’s about to join him.

He mumbles her name and she gives in, dozing off in the arms of her captain.

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