thoughts-on-musicals

[thoughts-on-musicals]

The SpongeBob musical

Before I started to even listen to this I had the worst expectations, and those low expectations weren't even met. The SpongeBob musical isn't nearly beyond words, but the words that do stick out to me whenever I think of it is uncreative, confused, and boring. I heard one of the songs for the first time a few months ago and hated it from the get-go. This was a bad idea and I knew it. I saw it was nominated for Tony and was very disappointed. And the second song I heard from it was at the Tony's. I was less than thrilled. I decided I can't have a proper negative opinion about something before I've listened to it. So without seeing the stage show, I'm giving my review on the SpongeBob musical. I do acknowledge that some people really like this, and if you do, please enlighten me on the aspects that make you such a big fan, because I think there's only one song I "like" in the whole musical. Nonetheless, I went through this catastrophe and reviewed song by song, what I kinda liked and what I didn't. So without further Ado, my review of the SpongeBob musical. (I feel like that one sentence made more sense of the show. )

Here's a quick synopsis. So SpongeBob is having a nice day in Bikini Bottom, going to work etc. He meets all his friends along the way and themes the discovery of volcano is going to happen and that everyone is going to die if they don't fix it. So they stop the volcano and everything is happy. The end. Fun story right? (I thought it was stupid, frankly? So volcanos erupt underwater, I know that, but wouldn't the water immediately cool the lava down? That's how islands are made? The sea creatures shouldn't have a fear of lava, more of getting boiled alive. They could just... Swim away, but that's... Kinda addressed in the musical? Anyway. Onto it. )

"Prologue"

I really did forget the announcer was French. Kudos to them for finding a fake French accent.

"Bikini Bottom day"

So the singers in this musical aren't bad. I genuinely like all of the actors' voices. I think they're all very talented, but the stupid cartoon voices they put on made my head hurt. The rhymes are uncreative a messy. Lyrics Always balance the thin, thin line of being creative or random. SpongeBob the musical bounces back and forth between either, and the good creative parts are few and far between. The uncreative Rhymes are accompanied with an uncreative score. This song did make me laugh once or twice though. Good for that. I got some enjoyment. I do wish they could have spiced things up more in this first number. Like SpongeBob having the Bikini Bottom day little theme. What would have made it a little better for me is if the characters all had themes? Like Patrick has some Bongos in a cute little rhythm, maybe Squidward has some classical music nods, they did Sandy good with the banjo, which I liked. I wish they did more of that through the whole thing? I think it would make it better. We see excellent examples of those types of things in some amazing musicals like Les Miserables, Wicked, Into the Woods, Company, and more!! Anyway. It's excited poorly. Plankton and Squidward's voice is super, though. Like WOW. I do hate how Mr. Crabs has... Such a light voice. I wish they got a deeper one, honestly. It really sets the tone of a money grabbing crab man FOR SURE! I really cannot get over Squidward’s voice WOW. He’s too good for this musical. I give it this- it can be kinda fun. I see it too.  Plankton’s voice is good too, but. He works pretty good as a bad guy. Can I have Spongebob’s little monologue on a plaque? This is way, way too silly. And apparently, the sun shines down, because they say it ten times, but I digress. 

“ No Control “

Honestly, I kinda like this one. Like, it's nice. I like how menacing it is. Like, the protagonists' parts, and that’s the parts I don’t really like. PLANKTON IS SO GOOD THOUGH!  The little rounds at the end are something I dig too. I do think that its a good set up for the main plot too. I also like the no control emphasis it has. I didn’t know that this musical was smart enough to do that. I just really like this song, though. That’s going to be a first and last. 

“BFF”

It sounds like a song that a camp leader would make that all this four-year-olds want to shoot themselves over. The talent is good, though. Got good singers. I do think it’s not very creative. This song can’t get more repetitive. That is also a common theme for this musical. Repeating things so you get bored enough to listen to the poorly crafted different parts. It makes you think the differences are important and interesting when it’s just the opposite. I feel like this musical is treating me like I don’t know anything. I know this was most likely aimed at children, but kids have brains and can listen to a good musical. This song is just stupid. Again, an occurring thing 

“When the Going Gets Tough “

Plankton rapping makes me laugh. The first time I listened to this was at 3am and I was laughing like an idiot when this came on. It was insane. I didn’t see it coming. That’s another thing. This musical doesn’t know what I want to be. It has so many different things. It’s trying to be diverse and has an interesting score, but I feel like it should have a coherent theme. Like I said about “Bikini Bottom Day”. There should be themes to tie things together. It’s weird how they try and give up at the same time. I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the writing room to see what was going on all these peoples’ who wrote this minds, But I do like this song.  I REALLY LIKE IT. But the “It’s time to get lost” part is bad. they should have thought about that a little more. These things rapping unironically is good though wow. 

“ [Just a] Simple Sponge “

I like the guitar riff. I can tell in the first five seconds I know this song is so stupid. Chorus you’re about to hear a trillion times. The score is OK? It sounds nothing like the rest of the musical. (Ahem. have a solid theme ahem). This is really stupid and not good. Jesus Christ. It’s the least motivational motivation song I’ve ever heard. RAP AGAIN THAT WAS GOOD AND WOULD FIT TALKING AROUND HIS FRIENDS AND TIE INNN THE MUUUUSICCCCAAAALLLLLLL!

“ Daddy Knows Best “

This was the first song I heard before I actually sat down and listened to the soundtrack. I hate the song, but the tune is way too catchy. I was looking through the youtube comments while I was listening to this and the second one was “ the shit dad trope meets the capitalist agenda “ and I thought it summed up the song. also boring. It’s uncreative lyric wise and score-wise.  I want it to get  0.5 seconds faster every time it says money. 

“ Hero is My Middle Name “

It’s pretty upbeat, but it needs to be more hopeful score-wise. Sandy is amazing though. Her voice and her jokes. Talent is amazing in here, REALLY! I do love the voices! The chorus is annoyingly repetitive. I want more energy to this. It’s too slow paced, but it’s an okay song. 

“Super Sea Star Savior” 

This sounds like a gospel chorus, which I think they’re trying to go for? I guess Patrick is Jesus? The beat is... okay? It feels very generic. I expected more from this musical this “diverse”.  This is another pointless song that doesn’t really advance the plot. The talking voice of Patrick is different than the singing one, that really bothers me. Don’t like it. 

“Tomorrow Is” 

I’m kinda ready for the musical to be over after that song, maybe one more song and then it being over.  Too bad that it seems we’ve not really even gotten into act two yet. This sounds like an end of act one song. If this weren’t about SpongeBob, it might be a bit better and worse. I don’t like how ambiguously “I only have tomorrow to succeed “ thing the first verse is. Squidward is singing in the second verse and I more than love his voice. I haven't seen any of the actual stage play, and do not intend to, but I like to think Squidward is having a little epic about himself trying to be a famous clarinet player, but it not working out. PLANKTON IS BACK I LOVE. It’s too happy. It's supposed to be more depressing, come on. I thought the music was going to change for a second, but it’s just that same tune over and over and over. I like this nice, little, last part, though. 

“Poor Pirates” 

Okay, I love this song. it’s good and amazing and has no flaw. I’m assuming that this is the beginning of act two! it’s halfway done!! I do like how self where this thing is.  It’s a good catchy and I wish the rest of the musical had this theme. It’s funny and clever and a good thing to listen to and kinda stupid, like SpongeBob. it’s good and I want the musical to be like this. 

“Bikini Bottom Boogie” 

I hate this song. the little electric guitar is fine and kinda cool to listen too, but really. Didn’t the Plain White T’s write this? Where’s David Hasselhoff? That was the good part about the first SpongeBob movie. I don’t want to talk about the rest of them. it’s stupid and repetitive in the wrong ways and doesn't match the rest of the musical. Diverse, not randomness. COME ON PEOPLE. 

“Chop to the Top” 

Sandy is my baby. I lover her. I remember this chorus was annoying, and it is. I like that usually when Sandy sings there’s a banjo. It’s good, that’s one of the only things I like about this song. I don’t like how literal it is with how scared SpongeBob was climbing up the mountain. This thing has no subtly. 

“[I Guess I] Miss You”

Is the little SpongeBob Patrick makeup. This song is annoying. I hate the pacing and the words and everything. this song really reminds me of the Bully Sized Hole song in Phineas and Ferb song. It’s stupid and can’t end too soon. 

“I’m Not a Loser” 

This was one of the first songs that I heard from the Tony’s and I don’t like it at all.  I’m just going to skip this one because I don’t want to mess up the amazingness of Gavin Lee’s voice. 

“Best Day Ever” 

Okay, I think this is the song from the first movie, but Tom Kenny isn’t singing so it isn’t going to be half as good. I’ve been pretty bored since the beginning of this. Maybe that’s why I like poor pirates so much? at least it’s not boring.  Also, this song fooled me at the start. I was thinking it was a new, cool song because it doesn’t sound too bad, but then it goes into the actual song. Sure, it puts a more sad tone to it, like a more optimistic thing to it-or reason for optimism. I appreciate that. It’s still a boring song, but still. 

“Finale: Bikini Bottom Day Reprise” 

I hated the first one and don’t need a second one. Won’t this ever end? Thanks for the recap of everything we just witnessed. It’s not like we just watched it.  I sat for over an hour and I know what’s happening. I’m not five... But I guess that's who you’re pandering to. 

Okay. I didn’t like it all and it was a waste of time. I have two catchy songs that didn’t go to the point of annoying. It’s clearly just another way to make more money for Nickelodeon. I don’t like it and it was a waste of time. I don’t see how anyone would pay to see this. No one should spend money on that, but that’s just me? IT’S CRAP. 

THE END YOU’RE WELCOME