thoughtsareuseless - Tumblr blog

[thoughtsareuseless]

[thoughtsareuseless]

it has simply never been this serious and unserious before

[thoughtsareuseless]

probably my most powerful interpersonal communication hack is to, whenever possible, ask either/or questions rather than yes/no questions

for example, when chatting with coworkers, i’ll often ask if they have any fun weekend plans. but let’s be real - we all feel like friendless losers when someone asks that question and we go “uhhhhh… no.” so instead, i phrase it as “so, do you have anything fun planned over the weekend, or are you just going to enjoy having some time to relax?”

phrased like this, there’s rarely any awkwardness. you’ve presented two options & given both equally positive connotations, so your conversational partner has an automatic “out,” so to speak

but it works for higher stakes conversations too!!!! my mom was saying this weekend how she and her neighbor both like walking around the neighborhood & that she wanted to suggest they take a walk together sometime, but was worried about how to approach the conversation

so i said “how about you just say ‘i’ve noticed we both like taking walks! would you be interested in going for one together, or do you use walks for some precious alone time?’”

now Walking Neighbor has an automatic “get out of jail free card” if she wants to say no!!!! which means my mom doesn’t have to worry about the conversation being uncomfortable, because she’s set it up to go smoothly

either/or questions rather than yes/no questions. it is really like magic

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“That isn’t who I want to be so I will simply not become it” are words I repeat to myself often these days.

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I'd let my crush shoot me. I'm not interested in a relationship

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we are the daughters of parents who should not have had kids

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girl chill you can do anything & go anywhere whenever you want

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i am extremely well-adjusted and mentally healthy as long as nothing goes wrong ever at all even a little bit

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im doing it alone…doing it scared…but im doing it

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It's unfortunate how often the solution to a problem is just talking to people. You'd think it could be something easier like making a comprehensive chart or list, or reading everything you can find on the subject, but no, so often you can do all that and you still have to talk to people.

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Continuing to be warm and soft and open to the possibilities of life even when it seems hopeless and you’re heartbroken and soul sick does actually work btw. Like there will be love around you again and real recognizes real

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astonishing how good it can feel to get some chores done sometimes. you’ll be sitting there like damn i am some type of horrid little smeagol like creature who should be crushed to death. but then you do some laundry and you’re like wrow. im actually gods most fuckable soldier.

[thoughtsareuseless]

"- Death is the mother of beauty.

- And what is beauty?

- Terror."

From "The Secret History" by Donna Tartt.