through-the-graveyard - Tumblr blog

[through-the-graveyard]

looking back in my old pics and wishing I could cut like that again

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I’m tired of living bitter and angry

I want to sleep. I want to fall asleep in the comfort of my bed maybe with a stuffed animal from my childhood and I never wanna wake up again

im tired of suffering

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thought my blade must have been taken but nope I just hid it too well from myself oopsie daisy

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I wish my suicide attempt worked

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nothing makes me feel better anymore but I don’t want to be angry forever I want to hurt people but I can’t do that but I can’t hurt myself bc that will cause all kinds of drama but it won’t actually fix anything no one will care no one will be sad I’ll just be a bother agin

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the urge to cut myself up is strong and I wanna do it on my arms but I don’t have any way to hide that shit

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S/h in undercut but it’s a drawing nothing real

He’s having a silly girlie moment idk

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literally just want to put a bullet through my head like this shit does not get better

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I think about the things I’ve done during this life

I haven’t achieved much. Even making it to 18 and then 21 and now 22 I wouldn’t say are things to celebrate because I tried to kill myself before any of those. So at that point I jsut wasn’t supposed to be here to see those milestones. They aren’t for me

I haven’t really done anything worth staying over

I hear people say that you should live for yourself and your worth isn’t determined by contribution but I haven’t done anything noteworthy for myself either. I’m not happy and I haven’t been.

but at this point killing myself would be throwing away and wasting everything anyone has done for me and given to me and that would just be selfish of me

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as much as I’d like to just kill myself and get it over with my big sister just had a friend die of an overdose so like now isn’t a good time

but it never really is

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self harmageton but it’s just me saying I wish my friends liked me still

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they will look more kindly upon my corpse than my self

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want to blow my brains out of my fucking skull I am so tired and it feels like I have nothing to live for and all my friends fucking hate me or something I do not know aymore

I just wish I were dead

it would all be over and all these problems would be solved if I was just dead

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I don’t even like New Flesh but like that one lyric yknow the one

bc you REALLY don’t give a shit about me and you won’t even care how much it hurts until I try to kill myself or it actually works because I have literally talked about wanting to die and wanting to hurt myself and no one cared but you guys can comfort someone else in the very same friend group about the very same shit

and I want to be so fucking mad about it to but you guys are I really have anymore and I don’t want to be alone but also I basically already fucking am so what’s the point

“no one gives a shit about my life”

“til I die”

yeah that’s how it is rn and I don’t know what I did wrong

what did I do to deserve this

if I try to kill myself and it fails and y’all get all sad about it I’m gonna fucking laugh because all of you knew

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I think all my friends hate me or something and it makes me want to die because they’re all I have left

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Bessel van der Kolk

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