thunder-pants

[thunder-pants]

If they do die in their honorable quest I will personally turn their body into a soda can constellation.

Dad I'm going to try and ascend to godhood by drinking only Coca Cola. Do you think if I do that I can be the god of soda?-Cassidy

— @tnt-tr1o

"I think if you do that you'll die."

[thunder-pants]

oh goodness

[thunder-pants]

In a Methodist church right now. Feeling kind of like my temples were cooler. Thoughts?

Disclaimer: your thoughts are my thoughts and I think that my temples were cooler.

[thunder-pants]

"Hihihihihihihi!!"

- @a-god-i-guess

Father daughter bonding activity!!! Who wants to castrate Ares!!!!

That's right!! You an' me!!!

[thunder-pants]

Thunderrr bringerrr 🗣️🗣️

I love milfs 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[thunder-pants]

I'm gonna put you in camp and I'm gonna take away your ability to not have scorpions in your underpants every day for the rest of your life.

Okay so I know your mad at me, but here's a deal. You send me to camp Half-Blood like your son Dionysus instead of smiting me! That way you don't have to waste your energy striking me down and hearing my parents whine for eternity!

@call-me-hermie-please

Compromise, I put scorpions in your underpants every day for the rest of your life.

[thunder-pants]

Okay so I know your mad at me, but here's a deal. You send me to camp Half-Blood like your son Dionysus instead of smiting me! That way you don't have to waste your energy striking me down and hearing my parents whine for eternity!

@call-me-hermie-please

Compromise, I put scorpions in your underpants every day for the rest of your life.

[thunder-pants]

You wanna know what else elephants and I have in common?

We don’t care about crushing the daisies.

Watch your mouth Hermaphroditus. I don’t usually give people enough time to apologize after calling me stupid.

Pay your child support

— A son of Hermes

( @call-me-hermie-please but he doesn't want to outwardly speak against the king and get zapped)

Absolutely not. What makes you think I support children.

[thunder-pants]

The uh. The balls? Metaphorical ones? On minor gods nowadays.

Pay your child support

— A son of Hermes

( @call-me-hermie-please but he doesn't want to outwardly speak against the king and get zapped)

Absolutely not. What makes you think I support children.

[thunder-pants]

Are you...threatening me?

Pay your child support

— A son of Hermes

( @call-me-hermie-please but he doesn't want to outwardly speak against the king and get zapped)

Absolutely not. What makes you think I support children.

[thunder-pants]

Pay your child support

— A son of Hermes

( @call-me-hermie-please but he doesn't want to outwardly speak against the king and get zapped)

Absolutely not. What makes you think I support children.

[thunder-pants]

Mason is standing in the middle of camp half blood glaring at the sky and flipping it off, hoping his father can see

"GIVE ME BACK MY GODHOOD ASSHOLE BEING MORTAL SUCKS" - @lightning-prince-of-gods

Skill issue. Whatcha gonna do :P

[thunder-pants]

hello father, I some how lost my god hood again, was this your doing? - @lightning-prince-of-gods

with you guys it's always "godhood", "child support", "fucking moms", and "please not the children". Why can't you guys ask about ME. So what IF you lost your godhood. MAYBE I'm in a rough patch, and I just had to vent some stress. What about ME >:(

[thunder-pants]

helo

father

im dating a child of posiden

they are much better than u

so imma go and run away with them

bye

So they're your daddy now. I see how it is :/

[thunder-pants]

FUCK FUCK FUCK

[thunder-pants]

Yea

i love that you censored your dad’s name lmaoo

you go sis

of course. what's he going to do, blast me?

[thunder-pants]

It's because him hating my jokes means he hates me specifically and everything I am. Don't you know how the internet works

I heard Odin say that your jokes are not funny

@cloak-of-ares

You have poor taste Odin.

What do you think is funny All-Father? Dad jokes?