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[thx-life]

New Chapter

12/02/20

4:46PM

It has been 4 years since I visited this page, let alone post. Reading back to the year of 2016, a lot has changed between us. Some were the best of the best and some were the worst of the worst. We have grown up from being in a long distance relationship to a married couple now. But, not everything remained the same. 

The best thing about coming back onto this page was reading about us in 2016. We were so inlove, we were each other’s cheerleaders, bestfriends and the whole wide world. But the saddest entry was when you felt unsure. 

Probably why I revisited this page again. Throughout this relationship, we fought so fucken hard for one another. We fought heaps 1 month after our relationship, we would make up and then fight about the smallest thing. It’s unbelievable that we’re fighting against each other. 

I feel like I was drawn into the soapy sappy relationship goals trying to change you into my perfect dream partner that I had always dreamt of. But no one can change anyone. We are two different people, we have heaps of flaws, different thoughts, and sometimes we aren’t on the same wavelength. 

I’m sorry for being an incompetent person to you, but at the same time, I wish you could see what I do for you. I’m trying to adjust and mould into the life that you live in. But, how can someone adjust and mould into a life where it doesn’t meet their morals and values? Drugs? Nangs? Why do people use that to relax themselves, and to have fun?  How can someone call you selfish and naive, when all you did was be there for them during the hard times? I was there from the beginning and I’m still here. I’ll be a better person, but sometimes I feel like you understood your friends better than you do me. 

But, regardless of talking over each other and being against each, we turn around and say we are sorry, we will do better as individuals. So thank you, for being my rock in all of this. 

[thx-life]

251016

12:31am You know when you're inlove when you look at the person and see how lucky and proud you are to have them, when you know that there's a future for you guys, and when they leave...you miss them.

[thx-life]

241016

11:50pm Never take anyone for granted. You will never know when they'll leave. When they do, it's too late.

[thx-life]

221016

6:00am

For me, I don’t know if last night was enough. You can tell me all over again how much you’re sorry, and that you have no doubt that I’m the one. But you doubted us. I don’t care how many times you say sorry, or the amount of times you fucked up. Because we aren’t perfect. But you’re just as selfish as you were from the first time we started this. You’re selfish to think on my behalf. You’re selfish enough to push me away. I stood my ground to cling onto you because you’re worth every second of my time. Long distance is hard when we go through so much personally, but life is hard, and if you want to take the easy way out, you’re already losing at life. I’m in this 110% and will give 110% to you, but if you can’t reciprocate even the slightest than why are we even together. By then, I won’t stop you, and I won’t stop myself from pushing you away, because I want someone who loves me and fight for me even if things aren’t going the way it should be. I don’t want to be doubted, I don’t want to be a second option and most importantly I don’t want to feel lonely when I’m in a relationship regardless of being apart or together.

[thx-life]

211016

12:06am Trying to find all the positive reasons why this relationship is worth it. No matter how far you are from one another, distance makes it so much more difficult to figure/read what the other person is thinking. So much harder.

[thx-life]

161016

10:08pm I feel so FUCKEN lonely.

[thx-life]

120916

9:41am • Went to visit his parents in Melbourne today and to my surprise it was such a nice visit, spending time with just me and his mum talking and eating cake that I bought her. It's that easing feeling where the family just accepts you as their own child. It's a good feeling, makes me feel super happy

[thx-life]

100918

3:51pm • I make him to like the things that he used to hate on a girl. Sorry babe, I'm not here to please you and do what you like.

[thx-life]

Thoughts.

[thx-life]

300816

12:34am Terrified of getting tired of you. I hope you come back to me soon.

[thx-life]

I know that feeling. You have to do something. You have to change something radically, because you can’t stay like you are for another second, or you’re going to explode.

Jennifer Echols, Forget You (via exoticwild)

Ayye this speaks to me tonight 300816 12:33AM

[thx-life]

260816

10:43pm We love too hard, and when the slightest shit comes down, we feel like we've lost apart of us. "Can I really belong in your life?" That's the only question that keeps coming back to me

[thx-life]

240816

10:33am Change.

[thx-life]

220816

6:50pm Last night walking back to the car after the wedding was the most painful feeling walking in heels to the point I just wanted to take them off and walk barefoot...and one of the unromantic but romantic thing that he did was offering either his boots or his socks so I don't get my feet dirty walking on the streets.. Yeah I wore his socks and the glory of not walking in heels Today..we waited for 4 weeks to see one another, only to spend 4 days together and then it's time to say our goodbyes again. It honestly feels like as if we said our goodbyes a few weeks ago and now it's happening again.

[thx-life]

210816

1:21am We waited so long to see each other, yet only spend a limited time together. This is getting harder than I thought

[thx-life]

200816

9:04am Morning sex.

[thx-life]

190816

12:23am It's cliche to say I still get butterflies and excitement when I know I'm going to see him the very next day. 4 weeks has flown by so fast, cannot wait to be in his arms tomorrow