thybirbman

[thybirbman]

Feemor and Jon Antilles are the two characters that, when looking for a Star Wars fix-it long fic, I watch out for more than anything. I know for a fact that if those boys show up the fic will be BANGIN. If they’re SHIPPED with someone? Even better. Those boys are the absolute best metric for whether your fic writer is feral enough about extended canon to write a good and proper fix-it fic set before the clone wars. Feemor/Jaster Mereel? Immediately I am hooked. So the Jedi Temple Guard who spends the vast majority of his time faceless, largely because of a neglectful parent, is with the guy who leads the Faceless Helmet Good Parent People? I know there will be cultural discussions and family drama. Hell yes. Jon Antilles meanwhile is such a crackhead concept that a fic containing him is gonna be taking a lot more insane things seriously than just an immortal Jedi with weird trauma. Jocasta Nu being shipped is third in this list btw. Nu x Dooku? Hell yeah, old person romance, the author has a thing for pining and theological debates over tea. Nu x Jaster? Hell yeah, our resident autism man finally got himself into the Jedi Archives if yknow wat I mean. Sifo Dyas also fits into this category of character btw. These are the quality barometer characters of Star Wars pre-clone wars fix it long fic.

[thybirbman]

fic planning be like:

[thybirbman]

the Star Wars fandom makes a lot of jokes about Din Djarin not knowing anything about Star Wars and dating Mr. Star Wars himself. And while that is true and very funny, I would like to point out that Mr. Star Wars doesn’t know anything about Star Wars either

[thybirbman]

tell me everything you can about the jaster/feemor fic 👀

Oh, I was hoping someone would ask me about this one *rubs hands gleefully*

So my vague thoughts about the Mandalorian mission landed on: what if instead of Qui Gon and Obi Wan someone went undercover among the New Mandalorians? But why would the Jedi Council do that instead? Oh…what if Jaster survived Korda 6 – then it’s not a simpler choice between terrorist group or other. And wOuLd’Nt It Be FuNnY if Jaster had a terrible crush on a ‘New Mandalorian’ bodyguard 😉

I have long had the headcanon that Mace is a night owl, not an morning lark. Jedi Council meetings Do Not support this.

Mace nursed his third cup of caff as dawn’s rays crept into the Council chambers specifically to lay siege upon his eyeballs. Whichever old Jedi said dawn was wiser than dusk ought’ve kept that thought to themselves. Truly, he loved being a Jedi – except this part. Dawn was too sleep-addled to be wise. He had, upon being ‘promoted’ to the Council, advocated for crack of noon meetings instead.

Which had failed seven to five. Yoda and Dooku were traitors.

“Petitioned for Republic aid, Mandalore has,” Yoda said. Just as Mace took a sip, the old troll. Used to dramatic announcements while drinking, Mace didn’t inhale his caff. Shaak Ti, their newest member, had yet to manage their grandmaster’s particular proclivity and choked on her tea. As well she should. The words ‘Mandalore’ and ‘Petition for Republic aid’ had never, in all the galaxy’s history, been in the same sentence unless another planet or people and the word ‘against’ were involved. Tera Sinube and Jocasta Nu cleared out their ears, certain they hadn’t heard correctly. To counter the disbelief that reverberated like an opera singer‘s, Yoda projected the petition for all Council members to see.

Which, yes, that was Mandalore. The planet name. On a petition for Jedi assistance. Mace had fallen asleep in a Council Meeting again. “Somewhere the Sith Hells are building an ice-skating rink,” Oppo remarked.

One of those weird shared dreams.

Tera Sinube snickered, then frowned. “Duke Kryze?” the old Crechemaster tapped his cane in thought. “I was unaware Mandalore has united under a single leader.”

“It certainly hasn’t,” Jocasta Nu straightened, a lecture at the ready. Mace would dream of many things but not one of Jocasta’s lectures. “A terrorist leader claims to be the ruler as well.” The worst ones always did. “By way of the Darksaber,” she added with an edge. Few were the successful robberies of the archives. Mace pitied the terrorist Mandalore-claimer. “And,” her voice dripped with disgust. “Jaster Mereel.”

Mace had no idea what Jaster Mereel had done to earn greater ire than a thief of an archive artifact but Dooku, closer to her, was up on the latest gossip. “Pestering you with more requests?” he smirked.

“Three leaders at least then, yet only one asks,” Yoda commented.

And there lay the complication. “Do we have the right to interfere then?” Shaak Ti asked the needed question. “Mandalore has not joined the Republic nor agreed to its laws and if we become the sort of people who burst into everyone’s home to lay down our chosen law – where will we stop.”

“As a student of history, we wouldn’t,” Jocasta said.

“Contentious, Mandalorians and Jedi have been,” Yoda spoke with hard-earned experience. “Harm not the unarmed, our code says. Accept the surrender of all, our oaths demand. Yet never unarmed the Mandalorians are. Surrender, dishonorable is seen.”

Add in intermittent conquests and bouts of Jedi-hunting and you had the seed of every Jedi-Mandalorian conflict in their shared history, Mace thought. “A shatterpoint looms over this mission, I sense that well enough. Should we break it? Mandalore’s fate will be decided on this mission, whether we take it or not. And if we do take it, who would we begin to send?” The experts of Mandalor were few and far between and many would be obviously unwise to send there.

“That sounds like a political travesty,” Dooku said, “Requiring a skilled negotiator. I would recommend my own Padawan. Qui Gon Jinn has made Master.”

“I disagree,” Yaddle spoke up at last.

A flicker of gobsmacked rippled through the Force before Dooku’s face and presence settled to forbidding impassivity. This did nothing to deter someone who had leapt straight from Padawan to Master centuries ago. “Shaak Ti is right, and Grandmaster Yoda speaks wisdom,” Yaddle paused, an unspoken ‘for once’ lingered teasingly. “Three rulers at least and no simple choice, previous Jedi-Mandalorian conflicts aside even the best diplomat would struggle not to add further conflict to such a mess. We can act but should not act openly.”

“You suggest the Shadows,” Councilor Piell stated the obvious. “One of your undercover agents.”

Yaddle gave Yarael the same look Mace often gave Depa for her teatime conversation topics but made no answer.

“Well, the poor soul will at least avoid Jaster’s obsession – if they keep their cover,” Jocasta said.

“There is one minor problem. About going undercover,” Tera Sinube brought up a picture. “Death Watch would be difficult but nothing your Shadows couldn’t handle. Jaster Mereel’s supercommandoes will be easy enough to infiltrate, however may I present a general indication of Sundari’s population.”

The picture was nothing that wouldn’t be snagged off a public site. A random section of the city, clearly during rush hour traffic with all the people milling about everywhere – people who were all human, all blond-haired, all pale-eyed.

“All of them?”

“Do we have any Jedi who fit?” Jocasta asked. Mace nodded in agreement. He dimly remembered one Padawan who would fit but that would be an even worse idea than Dooku’s.

Yaddle pursed her lips, “I may know of one.”

[thybirbman]

jaster mereel had to die young because the moment he ever had to meet palpatine on his home turf he'd take one look at the politician's eclectic collection and immediately go 'oh !! Is that a ceremonial sacrificial dagger of darth rabies???" and immediately go off on a tangent about old republic lore while palpatine gets bodied by at least five jedi in the background

[thybirbman]

[thybirbman]

It’s more comforting to convince yourself that all men are assholes then it is to face reality which is that your ex boyfriend wasn’t destined to become an asshole but for a variety of complicated societal and personal reasons he ended up that way anyways even though he could’ve chosen to not be an asshole

[thybirbman]

you will not guess where this ao3 summary is going

[thybirbman]

[thybirbman]

[thybirbman]

[thybirbman]

you guys need to let go of any rigid belief in what being nonbinary is because it can be anything. like someone can look completely average in gender presentation and do literally nothing to set themselves apart from their assigned gender and still be nonbinary.

[thybirbman]

[guy with the Cant Focus Disorder] why the fuck can't I focus

[thybirbman]

If Sherlock Holmes was Isekai'd to a fantasy world he would just deduce the rules of this world and get back to solving crimes. He'll find an elf girl sidekick,name her Watson, and pretend like nothing happened.

[thybirbman]

“eldritch horror beyond your comprehension” and it’s just a generic monster with tentacles and eyes

[thybirbman]

Also if you regularly work with kids/teens I cannot stress how important it is that you know someone who's like really into lame emo junk. There was a girl my dad was working with who just flat out refused to talk to adults or anyone at all and one day I was there and I saw her wearing a homemade bracelet that had beads that said YLDNDAHFHHACYCSYCDAYDKK and since I was also once a 14 year old making niche homemade mcr merch I was like "oh my god you like dnd Audrey Hepburn Fangoria Harry Houdini and croquet you cant swim you can't dance and you dont know karate!!!" and she looked at me like I'd said literal magic words and now we talk about music all the time

[thybirbman]

it's a well-known secret among time travelers that you can just do whatever you want to genghis khan and it won't affect history at all. just last week i visited late 12th century mongolia to do a Hot Ones-style interview with him and someone had already given him a PBR baseball cap and a steam deck- the butterfly effect has that name for a reason but temüjin's destiny is just so firmly rooted that no amount of interference could possibly change it. dude absolutely kills it at Crypt of the Necrodancer