ticklingmesoftly

[ticklingmesoftly]

AI disturbance overlays for those who don't have Ibis paint premium. found them on tiktok

[ticklingmesoftly]

A conversation the other day had me thinking about this the other day so here we are.

Online communities and perceived popularity.

You know that sounded like it was smoother in my head.

What do I mean by the above?

Well I don’t think it’s a thing that is really specific to our kink, nor do I think it’s a thing that is even limited to online spaces, but I’m talking about the phenomenon of people putting others on pedestals.

This can be seen in actions like Parasocial relationships (see a post I’ve done about that before… if you can find it… my post categories are a mess). But that’s only one outcome. This is one form of how objectification can look like in this scenario. Another can be viewing others who are perceived “more popular” as “better”.

This of course discounts a few things:

They’re being well rounded people. We talk about not only judging yourself by your highlight reels/best moments, we also need to try to not do that with others as well.

Lead to resentment based on a fantasy/idea brought about by our own worries.

Further isolation of self as you don’t see yourself there.

It’s a form of hero worship, putting people on a pedestal. It can seem flattering and like you’re giving people compliments but it is a slippery slope for sure.

And I understand it! Because I do the same thing. Consistently. I’m trying to get better at it.

This is what I mean though by it isn’t limited to our kink and to online spaces. Let me elaborate.

I judge myself against people who I perceive to be ��pillars of the community.” What do I mean by that? I mean people with thousands of followers, tons of interactions, lots of perceived popularity.

I judge myself in person at gatherings based on how popular other people are perceived to be. Be this on the company they keep, how “in demand” they are (on either side of the slash), and how wanted they (seemingly) are.

I judge myself based on perceived skill level at an activity. If people are better at me at a thing my initial instinct is to just work on getting better at it on my own or move on to another thing.

I judge myself in general in person based on perceived popularity and perceived… “belonging” for lack of a better phrase.

Now excuse me while I stop grilling myself for a moment.

I go through/have went through/still go through all of the above. The issue is that it is a self centered view. Part of my working on getting better about it is realizing that. Let me explain.

Yes, people online can be more “popular” and have more engagement. But you (I) just pay attention to the glamorous bits. Missing the tons of entitled comments, demanding comments, objectifying and degrading comments. (And hopefully none of y’all do that). Yes, they may be very popular, but that means they also possibly have more people being jerks at best and hateful/outright toxic and hostile at worst.

Yes, people will be more “popular” at gatherings in person. But at the end of the day we’re all still people. (I’ll come back to this.) This is an event for friends and to have fun with friends. Pay attention to your own joy and don’t let it be robbed by the comparison game as best you can.

Just because you are not the best at something doesn’t invalidate your efforts or how you do at a thing. Don’t let it stop you/hinder you, otherwise how are you going to get better? You’re doing better than you think and anyone who is actually really good at a thing will be excited to cheer you on about a thing they love.

People having better/closer friends doesn’t invalidate your friendship level either. It isn’t a competition.

Circling back to the second bullet point: treat people like people. It sounds really basic but what I mean by that is to not forget that these people we can put on pedestals and “idolize” come to the table with their own experiences that we discredit if we just look at them in the light of holding them to this higher standard. They have things they deal with outside of the communities we see them in.

I still deal with a lot of these thoughts shockingly regularly. It’s funny, I don’t see myself as “popular” or anything like that. I see my blog as… like. The lowest tier of popularity. I post no content (and don’t plan on) and don’t post consistent teasing content. I don’t get any Asks and interactions from a small handful of accounts (love y’all) but my posts only get really big when other, “popular” blogs reblog them.

But some people still see me as popular? And seek the blog out? Weird how that happens.

I guess what I’ll end it on is to not let compassion steal your joy. It’s hurting both parties: you are making yourself feel worse and you are robbing the other person of their being well rounded for a vision you have in your head.

It’s hard, I know. I deal with it too. But I hope this helps and tbh just had to get it out there I suppose.

Take care,

Brush

[ticklingmesoftly]

same.

[ticklingmesoftly]

Behind that horny blogger, there is real person with a real-world problem. Sometime just give her space and let her reblog in peace and don't be an ass about her non-replies and lack of interest.

[ticklingmesoftly]

i’m not hot enough to make up for how weird i am

[ticklingmesoftly]

I'm @stargazyblog - thank you for following me! I don't have the power to follow you back from there because it's a sideblog, but I'm putting you on the list of blogs I'll be looking at regularly and following in effect. I really like the side of tickling that your blog focuses on - the kind of tickling that's a flusterment but also a way to give affection and show someone their lovability, you know? I really relate to you on the social-anxiety thing so there's no pressure to respond to this ask until/unless you're comfortable doing it. I hope you have a great day!

This is so sweet. Thank you so much for this! ... and yeah, I never thought about it as focusing on a certain "side" of tickling, but you're right. To me, being tickled is... being loved.

[ticklingmesoftly]

being tickled while being forced to say nice things about yourself through the laughter >>>>>>>

[ticklingmesoftly]

maaaan it’s just one of those days I wanna be tickled silly 🙇🏼‍♀️

[ticklingmesoftly]

"aw there it is, there's that smile." might as well just shoot me with a gun, I'll die either way

[ticklingmesoftly]

i wanna be someone's prey so bad but i also really don't feel like running through a forest, i'm fucking sorry, but i'm not doing that. can you please hunt me down on this couch?

[ticklingmesoftly]

Tonight, I'm going to clear your mind of every single thought you could possibly have...

Except for how insanely ticklish you are.

[ticklingmesoftly]

In a clingy mood but also want to pester someone until they roll their eyes with a grin before wrestling me to the ground. Teasing me about "how if I wanted attention, I could've just asked. Coming in here and poking and prodding like a little brat. But since I decided to annoy them, well I guess this is the kind of attention I get" as they pin me down with my wrists in one hand their free hand slinking to my death spot as I panic and try and get away.

A grin lighting up their face and playful sadistic glint in their eyes as they lay just a single finger on the spot as I try backpedaling.

"You wanted my attention. Now you're gonna get it~"

[ticklingmesoftly]

why are tummy tickles so fucking flustering????

[ticklingmesoftly]

When just brushing their belly button makes them flinch...

[ticklingmesoftly]

I love how tickling forces you to be yourself and see someone ENJOY you being yourself. You're going to laugh most likely, you're going to be sweaty, you're going to be loud and shrill and make funny faces and noises and thrashing around, you're going to be embarrassed and vulnerable and someone is going to see your body unabashedly. And think they're going to think you're lovely and they're going to have fun with you. How reassuring that someone will see you at your loudest and sweatiest and most embarrassing and vulnerable and see the way and interact with your body, "flaws" and all, and will ask you "when's the next time we can do this?"

[ticklingmesoftly]

wait wait wait mutuals rb this with a description of ur voice

[ticklingmesoftly]

i want to be tied to a chair with my arms up and tickled from behind pleaseeee