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I made these because I am SO FREAKIN EXCITED FOR MURDERBOT AHHHHHH

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So many Kavetham thoughts

I wanted to discuss Alhaitham and Kaveh’s canonical relationship now that we know all of Kaveh’s character stories and voicelines. I will not be going into event or quest leaks since I have not seen them, so rest assured this is just the information from Kaveh’s profile.

Short summary: Alhaitham is two years Kaveh’s junior, and Kaveh befriended him out of curiosty, since so many people had a low opinion of him. Kaveh himself described Alhaitham as his “best friend” at this time, and when they met it was when Kaveh had just started living on his own for the first time (an arrangement he very much disliked, thinking of home as a “cold and lonely” place). They end up working on a project together along with several other scholars, but all but them gradually drop off as they cannot keep up with Alhaitham and Kaveh’s overwhelming intellect.

Kaveh attempts to help his peers, stretching himself very thin and burning out as he takes up their workload so that they do not fall behind. It actually reminds me of Alhaitham’s story quest, where the scholar doing all the work behind the scenes is unappreciated and eventually hits a breaking point, taking his own life. Before Kaveh can get to such a point, Alhaitham confronts him:

“ Kaveh maintained that Alhaitham was too much of an egoist, that he could be much better welcomed amongst people if he would just care about helping out more often. Alhaitham for his part pointed out that Kaveh’s impractical idealism was just a flight from reality, and that it would come to be a burden on his existence someday, and the source of Kaveh’s altruism was naught but his inescapable sense of guilt. “

And this is the beginning of the end. Alhaitham uncovers the reality that Kaveh’s altruism is not born of his selflessness, but instead out of guilt for feeling that he cannot inconvenience others the way he encourages others to inconvenience him. It is a cutting and blunt remark from Alhaitham, one that Kaveh cannot cope with:

“ Kaveh felt cut to the quick by someone who was his best friend. Alhaitham had seen through the reality that he had never been able to face, causing him to feel reality’s bite for the first time “

And some people have pointed to this as the reason their relationship fell apart, that Alhaitham’s words were simply too severe and he ignored how they would make Kaveh feel. While it is true that Alhaitham does bluntly hurt Kaveh’s feelings here, it took two people to split them apart - Kaveh’s response is:

“ Kaveh steadfastly declares that he regretted making friends with this all-too-intelligent person. The two parted ways in a single stroke. Alhaitham would remove his name from that thesis, while Kaveh would rip his copy of the thesis apart in a fury — only to put it back together with deep regret. He sensed that he would not be able to change his friend, with the reverse also being true. ”

The nail in the coffin wasn’t Alhaitham forcing Kaveh to face the reality of his life, but instead that was the catalyst for Kaveh declaring that he regretted his and Alhaitham’s friendship. Considering Kaveh is Alhaitham’s only friend (or at least, the friend through which he met all his other friends), I can only imagine how that would have felt. And ofc Alhaitham is an exceedingly rational person, but he does have feelings.

I thought that in their current relationship, Alhaitham had let go of most of his anger and Kaveh was the one still caught up in the past. After all, Alhaitham often seems teasing in his jabs, where Kaveh sounds more genuine. While this does still seem true to an extent, Alhaitham’s line “where were you when Sumeru needed you most?” feels worse now we know that Kaveh was the one to renounce their friendship. They both were “abandoned” in a sense by all the people closest to them, but while that made Alhaitham reserved and self-reflective it made Kaveh cling on to those around him to avoid looking inward at himself.

And Alhaitham removing his name from the thesis, reflective of a clean break. Kaveh, on the other hand, tears it to shreds - he’s spiralling, angry and guilty, but he also can’t face the truths that Alhaitham exposed to him. It’s important, imo, that Kaveh then repairs the thesis. I take that as an implication that he wants to repair their relationship, he just does not know how to. 

This can also be seen in Kaveh’s voiceline ‘About Alhaitham - It’s Complicated’:

“ Alhaitham helped me out a fair amount recently. If we were still as close as we were during our student days, then I’d be thanking him every chance I got. Now, though… I can’t seem get a word of appreciation out of my mouth. Even if I could, I wouldn’t want to give him the satisfaction. I guess you could say our relationship is something of a mixed bag these days? Honestly, with everything that’s happened, it almost feels like the universe has been playing pranks on us… It’s hard to make sense of it all… too much to process for one lifetime. I will say that it’s not every day that you get to know someone like him — I just wish he could rein in some of the worst excesses of his personality. Okay, yeah, that’s never gonna happen. “

I don’t think I can express how closely this links Alhaitham and Kaveh together. It’s not just old friends with differences of opinion; they quite literally make up parts of one another.

The reference to the ‘universe’ is intriguing - while Kaveh is a romanticist who would use this flowery sort of language, in Genshin fate is a thing that plays a huge role. And his confession that it’s too much for a single life time, on top of the fact that their research project was on King Deshret (of whom Kaveh and Alhaitham share qualities)… I am not saying there is a reincarnation situation, but but Genshin often does use characters to reflect their historical figures. 

 In Alhaitham’s character stories, it’s revealed he considers Kaveh a mirror:

“ Kaveh is a familiar face, similarly lacks familial attachments, and is the polar opposite of [Alhaitham] as a scholar — that is to say, an excellent mirror “

and now Kaveh seems to agree, as this is from the end of his character story 5:

“ Rationality and sensibility, language and architecture, knowledge and human feelings… Things that can never be integrated are what constitute the two sides of the mirror — indeed, of the entire world. “

I made a whole other post about this after Kaveh’s drip marketing, but there’s even more now. One thing I personally find quite relevant is their attitudes towards other people; where Alhaitham is an extraordinarily self-reflective individual, Kaveh obsesses over the lives of others. He speaks about wish to “rein Alhaitham in” and an important part of his arc through his character stories is recognising that: “the most unshakable part of one’s past is a friend that will never change”. Alhaitham, on the other hand, obsesses over looking inward at himself, claiming that that’s the reason he enjoys Kaveh living with him.

Why are they so different in this way? Simply put: Kaveh is afraid of looking inward, of self-reflection because of the guilt he’s held onto for so many years. He’s extroverted and personable, he has no issue constructing the fantasy of his life for other people to see him through. But Alhaitham can look past all of that, like Kaveh says he’s the only one who truly knows Alhaitham, Alhaitham is the only person who really understands Kaveh.

But Alhaitham isn’t perfect - he’s so focused on himself because he can’t handle others. He doesn’t understand; he can’t comprehend why Kaveh acts like he does even they he knows him so well, and talks a big game about how emotions and logic combine to create human intention/action, but Alhaitham himself falls short of ever really getting it. To him it’s all a formula to be followed - he can get to the correct answer, but he doesn’t know what to do with it.

Kaveh writes in his journal about the project he and Alhaitham undertook, and it goes as follows:

“ Page 31: Some academic notes and architectural drawings. Postscript: “Our views are aligned, and they are complete.” This line has been struck out. “Our views are contradictory, but it is through contradiction that more speculation and philosophy may be born.” This line has been retained. Page 42: The cover of a thesis that has been torn up, then put together again. No postscript. “

Between them, there is this push and pull. They are completely alike but then entirely different. I’m not even talking specifically from a shipping point of view, their relationship is based around the idea that they are two necessary parts of one whole. Unironically, they would make excellent dual grand sages.

I’m really glad that Kaveh’s character stories dove into their complexity while not sacrificing Kaveh’s individuality as a character. In fact, Alhaitham talks about Kaveh way more in his voicelines than vice versa - perhaps a sign that Alhaitham is more at peace with their relationship? Kaveh believes that “Alhaitham never did perform a good deed unconditionally“ but in the archon quest, Alhaitham claims that he “does not keep track of favours”.

I think Alhaitham was hurt by Kaveh moreso than Kaveh was hurt by Alhaitham. After all, for Kaveh the painful part was being forced to reconcile with the reality of his life, it just so happens that Alhaitham was the one to reveal it to him. Meanwhile, Kaveh denounced their entire friendship just because Alhaitham told him the truth - that is a conflict based solely in their relationship.

They need to have an open and honest conversation, but Kaveh refuses to trust Alhaitham and Alhaitham never asks the right questions. It’s a genuinely tragic dynamic that could be rectified, if only either of them could do what they always fail to. If Kaveh could self-reflect on his own issues, he might be able to recognise that he’s partially to blame for their woes. If Alhaitham could truly attempt to comprehend Kaveh’s actions past “irrationality”, then he might get out of his own head long enough to wonder about how Kaveh sees him.

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Just finished the Arc of Scythe series that was a wonderful read like wow BUT POOR THUNDERHEAD IT WONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO ITS ALONE THAT MADE ME SO SAD LIKE I GET IT BUT NOOOOO

Also I didn’t find a single thunderhead fanart makes me quite sad 😔 might make my own depends

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Little dark urge, Luciano, isn’t used to being called cute stuff he might have a crush

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okay gonna specify. i know so little about the dsmp. i do, however- have a bf who’s been telling me about what’s going on and i just. can’t stop thinking about tubbo selling honey??

yes i’ve been told about the bee symbolism. yes it makes my chest ache and i can’t explain why but oh boy does it hit. HOWEVER.

imagine you’re talking to the Honey Guy at the local farmers market right. and you’re making small talk- it’s a bit of a slow day and he seems like a relatively nice guy, what could go wrong? so you smile at him, say smth along the lines of ‘so!! what’s happened in your life? have you always been a honey salesman? did you do anything else before?’

and that fucker takes a deep breath and just. drops all the lore about whatever the hell happened in that server and you’re just standing there the whole time with your bottles of honey like.

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Haha made another Durge! He’s an Arch fey human warlock! (I swear I’ll finish this one)

So basically me own backstory for this Durge was the he used to be a pretty formidable fighter before the memory loss but when he was taken as an experiment under moonrise (not sure what happened there canonically) he only survived since they Fey took an interest in him.

After all who wouldn’t be interested in a Bhallspawn? And basically they also helped with the memory loss and when he was taken to the nautiloid they allowed him to keep some of there powers so they could watch and be entertained.

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AND IN A BLINK GONE

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Hi! I just want to say I love your storytelling and fics, and they’ve inspired me to look deeper into the bg3 characters and even my own ocs!

Also! I found this on twitter and it reminds me of Strike XD

You are so right that's the type of bullshit Orin stabbed him for

And thank you!!!

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till the end

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I HATE THEM

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Urhm I might have started another durge playthrough with a Gith. Look how funny he is tho!

It’s so funny, cause they’re so skinny and long, like where did all the fat go? Got burned out by the Githyanki that’s what.

Anyway his name Cec’ilio and I love him.

Also so far two Tiefling had unique reactions when you start talking to them. One screamed at his face…

Githyanki are so cat coded you can’t convince me otherwise

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Played Sky again recently I love this silly little game

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NEW PLAYTHROUGH OF BG3 WITH HOPEFULLY MY FIRST COMPLETE DURGE RUN. HIS NAME IS PERFIN AND HE’S A WILD MAGIC SORCERER, GOOD LUCK GOOD SIR

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Old art dump although I’m not sure if this counts 😬

Basically I was fourteen years of age and got into making a httyd oc by editing clips of the light fury her name was Bluebell and yes she was cringe but I loved her

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This is so well made and thought out and I love this theory dearly

Fucking. Obsessed. With this.

Because like. I know a lot of people love the whole "Astarion has babies with their Tav and is a wonderful daddy" headcanon, and that's fair - y'all do you. But personally? I can't see it. That man would be an appalling father, imo. Astarion doesn't like kids. And that's okay! (Unlike kicking them for shits and giggles which, while often tempting and undeniably hilarious, is. Really mean.) Anyway. My point: not everyone, in fiction or real life, needs to like or have kids.

But what I fucking love about this interaction is that like. He cares. He very clearly cares, and he sucks ass at trying to hide it. He's concerned for her safety. And, since this is a man who very deliberately tries not to care about anything other than his own survival, lest it be used against him, that implies a pretty impressive level of effort on Yenna's part. He would indulge Tav's worry either way, but I don't think he'd be too bothered himself unless she'd gone out of her way to befriend him. And honestly, that makes sense - she's a sweet, gregarious kid who isn't put off by being snarked at. Kids in general tend to love people with big personalities, which Astarion does. Kids tend to attach themselves to people who'd really rather they kept their distance, which Astarion does. And kids tend to admire and look up to people who seem impossibly classy and clever and worldly-wise, which Astarion would at her age.

This kid, behind the scenes, has been spending time with Astarion. Being nice to him. Maybe asking him questions or trying to talk to him about stuff. She's spent enough time with him that he's started to care.

And y'all know what dynamic I love? Deeply reluctant big brother Astarion.

From what we see of the seven vampire spawns and how they interact, we know the following:

Astarion is one of, if not the, oldest. He says he was one of Cazador's first spawn, but all the ones we see defer to him, so it's possible he's the oldest surviving spawn - I wouldn't put it past Cazador to permakill one that was no longer of use to him. That means he would've found himself in the unenviable position of having to help newly-turned siblings adjust to a traumatic and deeply abusive lifestyle. Considering he was in the same boat, he probably wasn't all that nice about it. But they would likely have relied on him to teach them survival tactics anyway - how to keep Cazador happy, how to say and do the right things to not rock the boat.

The spawns do have some degree of familial attachment to one another. It's a highkey toxic, trauma-based attachment, but it is there. Astarion tells Tav, "At least you've met my family now," and snaps at one of Cazador's servants, "I won't be ordered about in my own home." He calls Dalyria by a nickname, and she expresses concern that he came back when, "You got out, you were free." She clearly believes that he cares for her enough to stop hurting Petras when she begs him ("Brother, please!").

Astarion wants to protect. We see this most with Tav, but there are a couple of lines that suggest that he - like so many older siblings in abusive family situations - knows that his presence, his role as the primary target of Cazador's possessive, violent obsession, has shielded his siblings to some (paltry, piss-poor) extent over the years. Cazador likes to break his toys, and as long as there is still some fight in Astarion, he'll remain the warped and twisted "favourite" - the one Cazador likes to torture and torment the most. He knows that with him gone, they will become the new targets of their master's rages ("Now that I'm gone, well...I pity the other six.")

Anyway. What I'm getting at is that while I can't see Astarion ever serving any kind of fatherly role for Yenna - or for anyone, really - I feel like he'd step fairly easily into the reluctant older brother role with which he is so familiar. That's what he knows.

Like, he will absolutely be snarky and snide with her, because that's who he is. He's spent most of his life in an environment where the only people he got to spend time with, aside from his targets, were his siblings, and they served as rivals and threats more than friends and loved ones. Anyone Astarion isn't actively seducing tends to get his bitchy side. But at the same time, gods help anyone else who picks on her. Only he gets to do that.

He will whine and complain if he's asked to keep an eye on her. But he will do it, begrudgingly, and if she catches him in a particularly good mood he might even come up with a vaguely age-appropriate activity to keep her entertained ("I don't suppose anyone ever bothered to teach you to play whist.")

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Astarion and Barvir hahaha… anyway the first image is the schene where he catches you looking at him via the mirror AND BARVIR WAS A JERK CAUSE KINDNESS IS TOO DIFFICULT APPARENTLY.

Second image is when Raphael tells you what his scars are. Did you guys know that even if you never bring Astarion into your party he meets up with Raphael behind your back at camp AND MAKES A DEAL WITH HIM BY HIMSELF? I didnt.

Anyway the last one is when BARVIR KILLS ASTARION CAUSE HE WOULDNT LET HIM ASCEND BUT HE DID LET HIM KILL CAZADOR SO ASTARION BROKE THE STAFF AND THERE WAS NO WAY CONVINCE HIM TO NOT?! LIKE WHAT WHY I SWEAR THERE WAS OPTIONS IN KIADARAS PLAY THROUGH