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6 L’S FROM 6 YEARS

Graduation is just around the corner, and I’m now in a recollection: 

Lads. I had lots of them. My first high school circle was made up of lads, undergoing puberty.  They openly exchange each other’s secrets despite having me, the only girl in the group. I never felt cast out. Me entering their circle wasn’t an issue. Everybody kept an open mind. Despite being almost too comfortable,  they were discreet with their actions towards me, but there was no special treatment. Everyone knew how to equally respect everyone. These precious boys gave me an exceptional memory. A memory that will never be forgotten. 

Listen. Before high school, I was such a huge talker. After meeting so many faces, personalities, before I knew it, I became a listener. Be it problems that are left unheard, simple or deep introspections, confessions, even the color of your shit last night and how much strength you used to stretch your anus. I listened to every of it. Each detail mattered. Listening brought me satisfaction- giving me an in-depth knowledge of the person I am talking with. Their thoughts and stories helped me assess my own, making me into the fine person I am now. Until then, I will keep listening.

Lead. I realized that I can’t be a listener forever. There will be a certain point in life where you will have to take the stage. Things like public speaking, reporting in front of the class, or leading a group project may sound so simple as is, but for me, going through that took so many hardships: The first time I recited a poem in class was a disaster, that until now I couldn’t forget every bit of me stuttering, looking at a blank space, constantly trying to find the words I must speak. Not too long I understood that I can’t always be a side character because I’m not. I am the main character in my own story and I have to lead the reader using my own words.  *mic drop*

Laugh. The best medicine. How can I ever forget the good ‘ol days laughing hysterically until an ache hits my stomach? I can’t. Those days were the most unforgettable. But I guess behind every laugh has a different story. Laughter doesn’t always stem from jokes and positive vibes, sometimes it stems from mishaps. Upon reaching senior high, the workload has breached its way to my personal time. I can’t finish any series, play video games, and draw. Then a few obstacles will surely make its way until you can feel the stress burning you up. And alas, the final stage, Laughter. 

Lament. Not every day is a good day. From those six years of living comes together with six years of dying too. Every once in a while, I turn into a  crybaby, curling up myself inside the quilts of my bed, pouring out all my negative emotions in a cold air-filled room. Everyone has those days. You either cry at yourself, for someone, or at something. Whatever the reason is, you cry out. 

Learn. Looking back at my older self, I can see how much I have changed. For better or for worst, I did my best to change some aspects of mine that brings Hate. Throughout the years, I learned that I am better off looking at things in a brighter and clearer light. Having an open mind taught me valuable lessons that are earthly unseen, better yet invisible to the eye.   Every step I took in this journey, gave me the room to learn. I don’t care to be right, I just want to understand. Hopefully, this feeling won’t die. 

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“DEEPER DEEPER” -ワンオケロック

Below are the lyrics of the song Deeper Deeper by One Ok Rock that sums up the struggles of my Work Immersion experience:

( I couldn’t have picked a better choice than this because it hits every part where it hurts)

Another step up It’s takin’ takin’ takin’ takin’ long Always digging It’s gettin’ gettin’ gettin’ gettin’ get it on Wherever you stand just start to walk Everywhere you go goes round and round It’s coming back to what I know The deep, deep, deeper we go Feeling alone but it’s oh so simple Let it go Dim dim dim, the light’s low But not blind, I can see the symbol Let it show Mighty story, don’t hide it from me People will say they’ve gotten lost all the time Just pretend not to notice So to have good good days MV:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcBBNB5JTOQ YT Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzycs8MqvIY4nXWwS-v4J9g Website: http://www.oneokrock.com/

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ST. VALENTINES

or also known as “Valentinus” is a popular saint in Europe and France. When introduced by the Roman Catholic church, there arose three legends about this romantic saint. 

The first legend:  He was a priest who opposed  Emperor Claudius II’s decision to outlaw marriage for young men during the 3rd century in Rome. Then later, he was discovered secretly performing marriages for young lovers and was sent to death

The second legend: He was a good Samaritan who attempted to help Christians escape Roman prisons because they were harshly tortured and beaten to death. Unfortunately, he lost his life helping them.

The third legend: He was a prisoner who fell in love with his jailor’s daughter- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, he wrote a letter to his beloved signed “from your Valentine”

Up to this day, no one truly knows the real story behind this heroic saint, nevertheless, his name stays in the hearts of many as people celebrate every February to express and encourage Love. 

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The More the Merrier

It’s no surprise that every Christmas, families make sure that no space on the table is left unused, may it be the shape of a square, rectangle, or even a rounded one. All corners, gaps, should be filled with food and other treats.

That’s  Filipino culture: bringing out the best and liveliest table every holiday. To the point that some families go beyond their financial capability to seek for a happier holiday.

Likewise, my family follows this culturally-rooted trend as well as the others. I have two sisters and an auntie who plans and prepares the holiday meals. But unlike other households, mine like to experiment a lot. They tend to avoid typically-eaten dishes (spaghetti) while considering the plate preferences of each individual in the house. Picking out food isn’t tough at all if the cooking is tasty as hell. Which in my case, HELL YEAH! - no biases 

But last Christmas, I experienced something truly different with this household of mine: 

Watching a  Christmas-themed horror movie on the 25th. 

So how did that happen?

After preparing the dishes, alongside with the plates, glasses, and utensils, everyone was ready to have a feast. The TV was ON in the living room and my sister sparked an idea: “Let’s watch a horror movie!”. Upon hearing that, I felt the excitement rising within me as I just knew the perfect movie for that day. 

[A week before the 25th, my brother and I watched a movie called “Better Watch Out”. Vaguely speaking, it’s about a boy and his guardian, stuck in the house while his parents are away on the Christmas Eve. Sounds plain and boring right? But that’s because you haven’t gone to the 3 plot twists of the story. And trying to guess each of them will surely put you in a ride all night till you finish the entire movie.]

My auntie began to set up the table, whereas my brother set up the TV for the horror-movie screening. I was all psyched and pumped up with my black dress as I was ready to watch the show and chow. 

I glanced to my left and right, quietly observing the shocked, scared, and concerned faces of my relatives. Some are quite The Expressionist if u ask me, and some reactions come with unmatched pitches that eventually fill up the room.

A Merry Christmas indeed! 

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HOW TO GRAYSCALE

Open Photoshop

Click File and find your image

No image? Then give up. 

You can’t change something if there is nothing to change.

 But if you’re an asshole, make sure to learn the basics of photoshop so at least your face can make up for all the mess you create. 

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I’m not a robot

“When you entrust so much of your everyday life to those electronic devices, the argument that you aren't a cyborg isn't very convincing.”

  But what makes human a human? When emotion is present? If one can change his/her expression? To be able to decide from own’s will? One who has an identity? Or a voice that can speak for itself? 

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“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”

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“Don’t Look Down”

they said. But it is I who  couldn't resist, c o u l d n ’t resist ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ  ｒｅｓｉｓｔ  A n d    t h a t       c o s t       m e Ｆｏｒｅｖｅ ｒ ａｎｄ ｅｖｅｒ

Now, I could only look so far from below,

  but never again from above.  

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Dozed off eyes caught the wing cramped, the closer ones seemed clear the rest are still, but can’t be seen Just like the memories