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Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (James Signorelli, 1988)

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We'll meet again someday

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you’ll be okay

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“Excuse this blot but a bee scared me just then.”

An amazing explanation for smudged ink I came across in an October 1, 1897 letter from Rachel (a teenage girl in finishing school in Philadelphia) to her cousin Jack at Yale.

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Can confirm, it did be like this.

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Евгений Ерохин

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i'm also looking forward to your girlfriend's bottom surgery

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squeezing my pussy and concentrating all the microplastics in my body to print a perfect tiny figurine of a fruit bat

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when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

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Hey guys, an extremely fucked up new crab just dropped! Look at them beady ol’ eyes!

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imagine being éowyn in the lord of the rings trilogy. your uncle the king is being mind controlled by an evil wizard until said evil wizard's cooler version shows up and frees him. he is accompanied by an elf, a dwarf, and the hottest guy you've ever met. the hot guy also happens to be 87 years old and maybe still not over his immortal elf girlfriend but he respects and listens to you so you're shooting your shot. your geriatric hotguy situationship turns you down the night before the biggest battle ever then goes ghost hunting in the mountains. you decide to go to battle because you'll either help save your people or die in a really cool and honorable way. you then kill middle earth satan's number one henchman with the power of loophole and being a woman (you are also helped in doing this by a 4 foot tall stoner). then you get to marry faramir. 10/10 no notes my girl went through it all

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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

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