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[5]

I. Love. This. 

I love the tender touch that Syaoran uses. 

I love that it’s so gentle. 

I love that it’s so warm.

I love that it’s such a direct moment of physical closeness - which is rare enough in itself, but it gets to be between these two who need this sentiment established so badly. 

I love that Syaoran is affirming his unconditional love. 

I love that Syaoran is saying that he was precious to him in BOTH senses. 

I love that neither way he loves him cancels out or affects the other. 

I love that this is the first time they get to talk about this big thing hanging over them. Lava Lamp only just learned about it at all. They never really talked during the clone years. And the very first thing Syaoran establishes when they DO get to talk about it all is that he loves him. 

I love that Lava Lamp GETS this moment. 

I love that THIS is his big reunion with his parents. 

I love that you can see how much it affects him even just from his eyes alone. 

And I love that they use TOUCH to communicate this, since Lava Lamp is just… so touch starved. He spent seven years alone in a giant tube and everything after that was endlessly complicated, but he gets THIS to re-establish that love all over again.

I love that he went into his Flashback arc expecting Fai and Kurogane to abandon him - he was expecting to be alone, because he always has been, all the way through this all. Sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally, and sometimes because he was forced to keep secrets from everyone around him.

I love that this is his biggest failure reversing itself - he traded away the ability to ever see his parents again in order to save Not!Sakura, which he failed at! BUT HERE THEY ARE, FORCING THEMSELVES BACK TO HIM.

I love that he ISN'T ALONE ANYMORE, and might never be again!

I just love it.  

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[3]

Lava Lamp’s super serious face is SO PRECIOUS. 

I have to assume they’ve talked about the reasons behind having a secret name already, because Lava Lamp knows more about this later and he isn’t learning it here. I imagine their training before this moment was pretty extensive considering everything he can do later on too, even though he’s like 7 right now. 

BUT ALSO this circles back around to me remembering that we don’t know what Lava Lamp’s birth name is yet. 

And I kind of love that they named him something completely unrelated and were very happy with this until they figured out who he was and were probably like, “Oh woops!” and probably “Well Syaoran was only his assumed name in the future so I suppose this still works out just fine!”

… PLUS. If you think about it, Lava Lamp only goes by "Syaoran" because it was his Dad’s name. But his clone was only named Syaoran because Lava Lamp was already called Syaoran. 

So, Syaoran is named Syaoran because his name already is Syaoran before he technically existed. 

Which is the most fun time loop technicality and I absolutely love it. 

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If ya all don't mind, I'm going to be noisy for chapter 14 of Re;ssurection manga.

In case ya all aren't aware, I've been spending my last week catching up to all side mangas I can find online for Code Geass that is related to the main plot of course.

[Spoiler alert, you've been alerted]

Overall, this chapter is like a filler chapter to complete the gap between the attack at the prison and Cornelia's scene, but it is pretty good. You get to see what happened in between, CC and Suzaku actually had an interaction over what CC did, Kallen filled Suzaku with what happened, and we got to see why Ohgi and Tamaki joined Cornelia's team.

Also,

First of all, I don't know how many people actually read Lancelot and Guren spin off and know that Schnee, yes that cute baby who is clearly in love with Suzaku (in respectful way of course), actually left military after FLEIJA attack in Tokyo Settlement because he never thought that his Suzaku-san could be that heartless. He actually got a hunch that Suzaku is Zero, but by the end of Lancelot and Guren, that stays as a hunch. And by the end of Lancelot and Guren, he actually returned to Tokyo and hang out with Benio and Kagari in Cafe Zero.

SO seeing him actually working with Schneizel on providing help to Kallen and her team to rescue Suzaku is sweet of him. Kallen, just let Suzaku talks to him 😭

I think of this scene more than the look Suzaku gave to Lelouch when Lelouch turned around to talk to Sayoko and Lloyd.

Also this CC and Suzaku scene.

Tsundere C.C.

Another important moment: It wasn't like Suzaku accepted Lelouch open-heartedly like how the anime showed. He had a lot to feel at a short moment, the loneliness of being left behind, the frustration of being fooled, the pain of the burden he wore as Zero, and the happiness of being able to meet Lelouch again. The punch justified all four emotions. Also, Suzaku understood C.C.'s decision of not telling him about Lelouch's situation because he and Nunnally would help him to recover Lelouch's heart and that is the reverse of Zero Requiem Lelouch wanted. And the screenshot above is Suzaku telling C.C. that she knew everyone will do that, so she keep it within herself and told him that it's her own selfish, when in fact, it was what Suzaku and everyone's wish as well to see Lelouch again.

This part is pretty important to not downplay C.C.'s characterization, depicting her as wanting Lelouch all for herself when it's totally not, and I'm glad they chose to make Suzaku spoke to C.C. about it. This lil bits made the movie version better, I think ;w;

(Also, manifesting Suzaku's interaction with Cornelia in the manga, that goes from trying to kill him to "I'm glad you are alive", + Schnee hugging Suzaku because damn he needs it after what happened. Did I mention that Zero visited Schnee but only look at him quietly? Yes I should.)

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創作時間かかりすぎい

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創作練習

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侍さん

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創作わんこ

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最近の推し

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ワンドロ１　好きなのに描きにくさすごい

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ワンドロ４　昔のゼルダが好きなんだ

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What an ISFJ sp/so 1w2 look like?

Very proper, traditional, determined to be appropriate to the situation (and frustrated by those who are not), critical of self and others, with strong opinions about how those around them (and themselves) should live, and open with sharing their opinions. Often extremely fussy about their home environment and wanting to find an ideal way to live their life.

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Covers of the new Code Geass themes for its fifteenth anniversary <3

DICE by Flow (First opening for R1)

will-ill by TK from Ling tosite sigure (First ending for R1)

PHOENIX PRAYER by Eir Aoi (Second opening for R1)

SAKURA BURST by Cö shu Nie (Second ending for R1)

Face2 by Lozareena (First opening for R2)

musyokutoumei by  Yutaro Yamashita (First ending for R2)

Daydream Believer by FLOW feat. ORANGE RANGE (Second opening for R1)

Z.E.R.O. by BLUE ENCOUNT (Second ending for R2)

My top songs:

1. will ill 2. Z.E.R.O. 3. DICE  4. Daydream Believer 5. SAKURA BURST 6. musyokutoumei 7. PHOENIX PRAYER  8. Face2 

My favorite covers: PHOENIX PRAYER, musyokutoumei. Z.E.R.O. and will ill.

What is your top? What is your favorite cover?

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Lelouch and Suzaku's childhood traumas explained through the enneagram

I love finding parallels in the works I’m reading or watching and I love even more when they’re intelligently done and confront them. Code Geass is an excellent work that uses narrative duality. Lelouch and Suzaku are the most obvious parallel because I think it’s the only one that the series deliberately teaches you because they try to build a compelling rivalry that wins hearts, despite the fact that in CG they abound more and are just as interesting (you are more otakus than me, therefore, they know that the topic of rivalry is very common in the anime industry, especially if the work is aimed at a male audience). You must understand that Suzaku and Lelouch are each other’s reverse mirror. So much so that I think it gives rise to analyze the development of the relationship of both because the paths of both are intertwined and affect the narrative arc of the other. But unlike Shirley’s, Rolo’s, and C.C.’s story arcs, which are totally dependent on Lelouch, Suzaku’s story arc stands on its own (Lelouch plays a key role in his evolution, but it’s not everything). In that sense, it’s more like the Kallen and Nina story arcs (this is something I respect and like about Kallen and Suzaku as main characters).

Today I want to focus only on the childhood of Lelouch and Suzaku, where it all began, taking advantage of the fact that in my previous post I talked about the enneagram.

Today I want to focus only on the childhood of Lelouch and Suzaku, where it all began, taking advantage of the fact that in my previous post I talked about the enneagram.

Although Lelouch and Suzaku are mirror inverses of each other, there are scenarios in their lives that are similar and their responses have been more or less similar. One of them is the trauma that forged their character. To begin with, Lelouch and Suzaku are the sons of two very powerful men (Genbu isn’t the Emperor of a world superpower, but he is the Minister of Japan; he is someone important, he isn’t the man who sells fruits in your neighborhood) who, in turn time, they are horrible parents. Without intending to sound like a psychologist (because I’m not), for boys, the relationship with their fathers is important since they are the model of the man they want to be in their lives (a model that they can reject, accept or idealize). In the case of Lelouch and Suzaku it’s cutely obvious: they reject him (and the devilishly ironic thing is that the more they try to get away from them, the closer they get; in Lelouch it’s more obvious xD).

On the one hand, we have Suzaku. A 1w2 enneatype (even when I find traits of a 1w9 enneatype, I lean towards the option of Suzaku being a 1w2 since he also goes about correcting the people around him, even if he is a self-preservation subtype and, by extension, is so preoccupied with fixing himself. I don’t rule out that he’s looking at his Faith cognitive function because Suzaku is an ISFJ, but I think, in that case, his Faith would boost his wing 2 even more than wing 9… Anyway, we won’t let’s divert). 

Regardless if his wing is 9 or 2, his enneatype is 1 and the emotional wound of the Ones is that they see themselves as imperfect beings. They have a great feeling of inadequacy because in their childhood they were not given the message that they were good (or it was a message that was lost) and surely it was because their parents demanded a lot of them. I entered the field of speculation assuming that Genbu was a strict father given his role as Minister of Japan (at least, he is in my headcannon and in my fanfic). Hence, Suzaku insists on correcting the error that “perverted” him and strives like a beast to improve himself (and his environment) with his ethical values, always trying to be morally blameless and consistent with his ideals to justify himself. himself and avoid being judged by others (in R2 episode 17, Suzaku angrily yells at Lelouch that the Geass order he gave him broke his convictions; for Ones, who are hyper-moralistic and want to be examples of virtue , this is a curse).

Without a doubt, Suzaku lost sight of that message that he was good when he killed his father. Suzaku sees himself as a bad person. A monster. That is the reason why Euphemia asks him not to hate himself. It’s pretty fucked up because since the Ones can’t live up to his unrealistic standards and neither can the others, they finds it hard for them to forgive; so if Suzaku doesn’t forgive himself for killing his father, don’t expect him to forgive Lelouch for killing the girl he loved.

I feel like little Suzaku got a tremendous disappointment from his father. I think that children tend to idealize their parents (with time and maturity, this idealization weakens and when they are adults they have a more realistic or demonic image of their parents, it all depends). Not only Suzaku realized that he was imperfect (and bad), but also his father. Imagine the feelings that little Suzaku must have experienced when he saw his father persist in forging ahead with the war against an empire that Japan had no chance of winning, because their pride was more important than the lives of the citizens who he had pledged to serve. 

From here, Suzaku unconsciously psyched himself up: “My father was bad and imperfect; but I won’t be, I will be different, I will defend the people I serve, the methods I use do not transcend my purpose, much less my principles, I will try to be good”. Consequently, we have a Suzaku who lives to reach an unattainable ideal in order to correct what is wrong with himself and Britannia and he will never achieve it because mistakes are unforgivable, in his opinion (the good thing is that the Zero Requiem brought peace to his tormented conscience, not just to the world).

It is not true that Suzaku went completely unpunished. He gave himself a punishment: he forever refused forgiveness. He chose to live a life of suffering. 

By the way, don’t think that all Ones are as obsessed with his mistakes as Suzaku. He is an insane One. This is because he, in his crazy head, believes that he can regain lost goodness or achieve perfection at the expense of his own life (that’s something we saw for example in Natalie Portman’s character in Black Swan: Nina, a self-preserving One pretty insane).

On the other hand, we have Lelouch. I will tell you what the Eights’ wound is because if you read my other post, you should know: vulnerability. This is because when they were children they weren’t protected by their parents, so a conflict deprived them of their sweet innocence. By now you should know what I mean. At the beginning of R1 episode seven we are given a flashback to Lelouch’s last conversation with his father. A little Lelouch complains to his father why he didn’t protect his mother who was murdered and, although he doesn’t express it, this claim extends to his sister, who was left paralyzed and blind, and himself. His claim verbalizes his trauma: “why didn’t you protect my mother? [Why didn’t you protect my sister? Why didn’t you protect me?] Weren’t you supposed to be the most powerful man in the world?” (of course, I’m paraphrasing and what is in brackets is what he does not say, but feels). Here you can see the childish disappointment of his father figure: his father isn’t an all-powerful, omnipotent, omnipresent man who is the image Holy Britannia projects of his Emperor. What does Charles do? Well, if little Lulu and his sister had a minimal amount of protection from his father, now they will have nothing since he will exile them to Japan (he has left them totally helpless).

Both Charles and Genbu justify themselves, hiding behind the image they must give. But with Charles, the childish disappointment is double because, in addition, he excuses himself in the ideology of Britannia: he abandons Nunnally because he is weak and the individuals who are fit to survive must do it on his behalf, thus demonstrating their strength. I don’t want to mess with Social Darwinism because it isn’t my intention to go off on a tangent, but these words are very important because they will shape his personality. From then on, he will assume vulnerability as something bad. I don’t know what little Lelouch’s position was regarding the ideology of the Holy Empire of Britannia. I’m going to assume that he accepted them by natural disposition (like, for example, us with gender roles that until we properly document ourselves do not begin to question them). This sinister, in particular this discussion, made Lelouch rethink the ideology of his homeland and reject it. To finish off poor Lelouch, Charles yells at him that Lelouch is nothing without him (well, he’s dead without him because he gave him everything he is; I don’t know what seems stronger to you).

And what does Enneatype 8 have to do with it? ALL! As a result of this wound (which has not healed in the case of average and insane Eights), Eights learn to fend for themselves and be self-sufficient because they assimilate that the strong survive and develop a protective instinct towards others. weak and their relatives. It goes without saying that Lelouch was psyched that he was going to prove his father wrong: “My father is not powerful and he believes that I am incapable of surviving without him; he does not define me; I will prove to him that I am alive without him; I will become strong ; I will be independent; my sister will not miss my father because she will have me; I will protect her; I will not fail her like my father did”. It doesn’t matter if it is Lelouch, he was a child and a child isn’t called the atrocities that Charles said to him, look at him in the photo, isn’t he cute? That reminds me that type 8 is called the Challenger, what does Lelouch do when his father boasts? He challenges him yelling that he doesn’t want to be his heir xD).

Lelouch never shows vulnerability because he subconsciously believes that it is to be weak and he needs to be strong and to do so, he must keep himself under control. Even when he feels vulnerable, he tries to suppress it. But being a sexual subtype, emotions get the better of him more times than he’d like to admit, and they often come out in a negative way. Lelouch has terrible emotion management and zero emotional intelligence (it’s not for nothing that he confused romantic love with filial love in that phone conversation with Shirley or he’s not sure what to say to her when she asks him if he loved that girl he was talking; Eights have a hard time giving and receiving love because they only understand that people are either for them or against them). He has a hard time recognizing the emotions and feelings of others and himself because it is his Achilles heel.

Also for this reason Lelouch is wary of people and prefers to keep them at a distance since he interprets them as signs of vulnerability (essentially I mean the Black Knights, but even the people who managed to gain Lelouch’s trust struggled to earn it).

By the way, I heard somewhere that each country has an ideal citizen model that corresponds to an enneatype (for example, the United States is enneatype 3, long live the American dream!). In the case of Britannia, I dare to say that it is the unhealthy enneatype 8. Starting from that idea, we would see that the ideology and values ​​of Britannia contributed to the formation of Lelouch’s personality (does the same happen with Suzaku? I only know that the Japanese have a strong sense of community rooted, not like Westerners that we are more individualistic, and they repress inappropriate behaviors. Suzaku is a person who acts for the common good and is interested in the community, so…).

Still, it’s amazing that Lelouch turned out an 8 average. He has things to work on himself. But he could have been worse.

I left you with these traumatized little ones and their horrible parents who, because of them, didn’t have a healthy growth. Thanks for screwing everything up, Genbu and Charles. I think most of you will think that Charles is worse than Genbu. Honestly, I think they’re both just as terrible.

Little Suzaku needed someone to hold him and explain that it’s okay to make mistakes because he’s part of growing and learning. “You’re not perfect, but it doesn’t mean you’re not good.”

Little Lelouch, for his part, needed someone to hug him and tell him that being vulnerable is not weak and that he can trust others without feeling the fear of being betrayed.

Hugs for mini Lelouch and mini Suzaku. They need our love. Stop hating them. They already hate themselves enough. Don’t make it worse.