timeresponsible

[timeresponsible]

so a lot of this is down to writing, and not so much like True Character (if u get me) but the way things unfolded with claire's mother is always something i'll have a lot to yap about. it's kind of framed that claire was just an ungrateful, angsty teenager, and came to her senses in adulthood (when it was too late) and then when carole somehow makes a miraculous recovery in season 5(?) she's all sweetness and light. i have so many issues with that as it is*, but let's just say it was island magic or something. fate had to make carole be fine so kate had someone to leave aaron with and get back to the island, whatever, whatever. but i think people forget that there was four/five years between the car accident and the last flashback in par avion, and to be left alone to ruminate on every conversation she'd ever had with her, it would be understandable for claire to come to the conclusion that she was just an overly emotional teenage brat. her mum isn't there to be the literal reminder of why she felt any particular way that had her acting out. especially with her aunt hating her guts and deeming her the bad guy, and other people probably being incredibly dismissive. i have never bought that claire was invalid in how she felt in the moments before the car crash. sensitive, dramatic, overly emotional, absolutely. she couldn't see where her mum was coming from a lot of the time. she loved her, but they fought. i think carole was reminded too much of herself by claire, and it made her want better for her ---- making her becoming a single mum a bittersweet eventuality from carole's pov. when claire grows up a bit and finds herself in similiar shoes, she understands her more. but that doesn't mean that i don't think carole fucked up sometimes and lead to claire feeling abandoned, let down, unwanted, etc. it's all a bit more nuanced than hehe i went through a stroppy emo phase and lost all empathy ever

[timeresponsible]

i promise i'm still here 💕

[timeresponsible]

♡ ✧ . * . ˚ meme sent / ft. @darlingskilled ╰┈➤ Aria looked at the girl and then around. There was that feeling. That someone was watching. "You sure?" She asked stepping closer to the girl. "I believe you. Trust me I probably do more than anyone, but what makes you think that? What's been happening?"

THE RELIEF THAT FLOODS CLAIRE'S BODY the second she confesses has a sigh falling out of her mouth. still, her fingernails remain firmly pressed into her palms, and she has to resist the urge to let her head turn and ensure that whoever has been watching her, isn't doing so now. then again, when has she ever been able to catch them in the act before ? from what she can tell, aria believes her, and after the burden has been suffocating her from the inside for what feels like years, she can't lose her attention. she has to tell her --- tell her of the texts, the slips of paper in her locker, threats written in chalk in otherwise abandoned classrooms... god, it sounds ridiculous. ❛ it's --- it's silly, i don't know. maybe it's nothing. but i've... have you ever been talking to someone and they say something, and you can't even focus on whatever they say next because all you can think is how on earth did they know that ? i... i've been getting these messages. texts and whatever. and i don't know who from, or how they know about... some of the stuff they're talking about, but they're sort of -- i don't know, they're more like... threats.❜

[timeresponsible]

hopefully this goes without saying but aaron being absolutely enormous is a production thing and not a canon thing. it's just really hard to use tiny babies on set, and casting the is hard, and they grow throughout filming, and yadayadayada -- but he was two months old when they escaped the island for the first time. that's a teeny baby. so ignore the fact that kate's carrying around a college student omg.

[timeresponsible]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 .    (  a collection of  dialogue prompts centered around saying "please".   feel free to modify phrasing as desired.  )

please just be honest with me.

oh, please explain how this is my fault.

please don't look at me like that.

please, let's not do this here.

for once, could you please stop pretending?

please just kiss me, i can't stand it.

please don't walk away from this.

all you have to do is say please.

please, i dare you to try and stop me.

please don't tell anyone i said that.

i said please, so technically you have to say yes.

please tell me you brought snacks.

please don't take this the wrong way.

please, i've waited so long to hear you say it.

i said i'm fine, please just drop it.

please don't lie just to make me feel better.

please don't judge me for what i'm about to do.

please just let me help you.

if you love me, say it. please.

just stay here with me all day. pleaase?

please don't ruin this for me.

please just leave me out of it.

tell me you love me ... please.

can you please slow down?

please tell me there's still a chance.

can you please just get some sleep?

please, i don't want to lose you again.

i'm not asking– i'm begging you. please.

please don't make fun of me.

i want you to leave. please leave right now.

please, it's nothing.

i don't like to beg, but... please.

pleaase? i promise it'll be fun.

tell me it's a lie. please.

come on, please? just this once?

please don't jump to assumptions.

please, [ name ], just stay here.

you promised ... please.

please. i need you to trust me.

please don't go.

i know i don't deserve it, but please forgive me.

please, let me fix this.

did i hear a 'please' in there somewhere?

please. one more minute, that's all i'm asking.

oh please, as if you've never done it.

don't ask me to choose. please.

please don't tell them where i am.

saying 'please' over and over won't change my mind.

please? ... pretty please?

please don't make me beg.

please tell me i'm wrong.

can you please give me a hand with this?

[timeresponsible]

tbh there's no real reason for claire's torchwood verse to involve the additional torchwood base so gimme claire relocating to cardiff bc honestly that makes much more sense

my own opinion's of belinda's journey aside, i have seen a lot of people say that this could have been an interesting arch for a character if it was her situation from the beginning, and having a companion who's a single parent and has no interest in The Adventures and just needs to get back home in time to pick up their kid, is a cool concept. let's do that for claire pls thank ya. works great.

i'd love a lil like,,,, claire as part of linda (love & monsters defender til i DIEEEEEEEE) -- have the doctor be relevant to some part of her past & have an interest in him so finding likeminded people to hang out with in a basement. sometimes she brings brownies.

[timeresponsible]

Even More Exhaustion Memes!

I just love doing these. let me rest | Deeply Exhausted Starters

"I fell asleep at my desk again..."

"I'm not laying down, I just have too much to do..."

"Oh, I... wobbled, didn't I?"

"I'm just leaning on the wall, it's fine..."

"Resting my ears. Eyes. I'm resting my... eyes."

"What? Yeah, I... I mean, I had at least an hour. Or two."

"I'm trying to sleep, I swear it."

"I'll rest when I'm dead."

"Sleep is for the weak, and brother, I am pathetic."

"Oh, my hands are shaking, aren't they?"

"I didn't mean to... drop that... oh..."

"I can't, I can't sleep, not yet, I'm sorry."

"Oh, I don't know why I'm crying. It's all just a lot."

"Coffee. Coffee. More coffee."

"How many of those energy drinks have you had?"

"You can't keep pushing like this, one day you're going to pass out."

"Did you drive like this!?"

"You worry me, you know. Avoiding sleep."

"You keep acting like it's no big deal but I know you're not sleeping."

"I want you to feel safe. You have to rest."

"Look, if I bring you a hot chocolate and a blanket..?"

"Do you want me ... to stay here? While you sleep?"

"Stop! Enough! You can't do this any more!"

"If you don't get some sleep, it's going to kill you."

"I want to help you, can't you see that?"

"I dosed your coffee with sleeping pills. Sorry."

"I'm going to make sure you sleep."

"You have to rest, end of story, zip, nothing else."

"Alright, I have you. Close your eyes, and take a deep, calm breath."

"I'm going to sing you a lullaby."

[timeresponsible]

hello! this is unfortunately what i mean by low activity. it's in no way a reflection on my interest, just how busy i can get. i haven't had much time recently at all ( currently here quickly while the womb fruit is still asleep as we had a late night at the beach yesterday and she's pooped ) and i feel like i can't get to everything when i am here. i always wan to prioritise writing, but then feel bad when i've got so many messages i'd love to reply to, and i don't love replying while mobile etc, and then when i can get on my laptop, it takes forever to boot up, and making icons feels like a faff, and basically it's just a juggling act i haven't mastered. i'd love to say yet. but i am here! interested, dedicated, loving always. i really need to sort out my carrd. no idea when i'll be able to, but i never even finished it, let alone made it up to date, so apologies there. i pop up while mobile and that's normally when you'll see me sending memes/responding to calls. please do not think i am ignoring or have forgotten you.

[timeresponsible]

CLAIRE'S CHIN LIFTS INTO A SLOW NOD. ❛that's one smart family,❜ she notes. impressive, sure, but there's a level of self deprecation to it, too; claire was never destined to achieve greatness -- that, she's certain of. just born into the wrong bloodline, she guesses. in fact, before aaron, she wouldn't have said she had much going for herself at all. no apartment, no boyfriend, crappy job, mum in a coma, dad... wherever the fuck, it wasn't like she had the world at her feet. and now she's where she's meant to be. her gaze drops to the sweet boy in her arms, who she actually feels she has a chance of keeping safe with people like jack around, and she continues as she gently fixes the baby's blankets. ❛i think it is, too. you're very good at it.❜

it makes her wonder, would jack be a doctor if his dad had been something else ? would she be where she is now without every tiny detail etched into her history, each insignificant choice building to paint the picture of their current reality ? it's all so easily changed. jack must really love his dad, she deducts, for him to have inspired jack to the degree he has. he must be a good man -- that's where jack gets it from. it isn't like claire is surrounded by high up academic types back home, but she'd always assumed that medicine was a profession pursued by passion. becoming a doctor out of admiration is something she'd never considered.

as much as jack wants to move on from talk of his father, claire wants to avoid talking about her life before the island. her mouth drops open, a response only getting as far as halfway up her throat before it gets stuck --- nothing comes out, and for a moment, all she can offer him is a shrug and a clueless shake of the head. ❛nothing interesting, really...❜ she begins, certain he doesn't want to hear about her day-to-day routine of avoiding a psychic, washing off the smell of frying oil, trekking to the hospital, arguing with her aunt, staring at the phone while internally battling with herself over whether or not she should call thomas ( she never did ) and crying when she finds an old sketchbook of his. bloody hormones. still, the answer she has given doesn't feel sufficient. ❛i think i was just sort of... wandering. hadn't found my place yet, y'know ? i think... i don't know, i think things worked out for the best. having aaron. i know it's not ideal...❜ realising that it sounds like she's describing crash landing on a deserted island not ideal, her lips pull into a smile, and she corrects it with a shake of her head. ❛back home, i mean. it wasn't ideal. his dad... well, he wasn't on the plane with me, so you get the idea.❜

they're lucky that amongst most of the supplies scavenged, they managed to find and keep hold of a stethoscope. diagnosis aside, jack remained with claire as baby aaron slept. his hands held onto the stethoscope, thoughts always running miles a minute. once upon a time, they were all about trying to escape wherever the hell they were. now? it's almost as though this place has become home. as though they'd become complacent and accepted their fate. how could they not when they had their makeshift homes and a steady stream of food and water? but more importantly – they were all becoming some odd family. all once strangers to one another, now they'd do anything for each other. (at least, most of them would.) with claire back and the baby now in the picture, leaving should be a priority, but that picture was starting to look faded. as he thought these things to himself, the sound of claire's voice brought him back to the moment. it's not the first time he's been asked somethin like that — always leading to his head slightly hanging forward, a half-smile in place. as though he were thinking it over. and in some ways, he was. that was never an easy question to answer and he's sure his response has varied from time to time. ❝ my dad was a doctor. i guess i just wanted to follow in his footsteps. ❞ not quite the same steps – given the shame in the end. ❝ i don't know what i would be if i wasn't. but … for what it's worth, i think it's a good thing i chose the profession i did. ❞ his eyes fall to the sleeping baby. where would anyone be if there had been no doctors on that plane? ❝ before all this, what was your life like? ❞ a change of topic desired. he didn't want to think of what he had been or his father or … anything dealing with him, really.

[timeresponsible]

WELL... SHE CAN'T ARGUE THAT. this baby, while deserving of far more than whatever mediocrity claire can provide it, has been kept safe and well by her so far. then again, maybe it'd be far safer if she hadn't gotten on that damn plane. scott's faith doesn't go unnoticed, certain enough that their current state isn't permanent that his reassurance is convincing. ❛ you think they'll be here soon ?❜ rescue, she means. from anyone. if he's right, and their rescue comes soon enough, maybe the baby being stuck with her isn't a reality she'll be forced to face after all. the realisation feels like a kick to the chest.

the poor thing hasn't even been born yet, yet the mere months of its existence have been a constant back and forth; we can't have a baby, we'll raise the baby, i can't have the baby alone, i can't give up the baby, the baby needs to be raised by me, there's a couple in america to raise the baby, i can do it, i can't do it, and then it didn't matter anymore. deserted islands don't come with built-in adoption agencies. the decision was out of her hands... but what if it isn't ? either way, scott makes it feel more simple. like the idea of her never not being alright should never have crossed her mind. like whatever happens was meant to happen. ❛ i dunno how safe a baby can be here, really,❜ she thinks aloud. she'd already feared the worst after the crash, when the lack of movement had her lamenting in her diary over her guilt, her fear, her grief. ❛ maybe i'm the least of its worries.❜

he wouldn't have pried, if it seemed like she really didn't want to talk. a lot of people don't. or it's all surface - level, nothing big, nothing loaded that could give an already tense situation even more of a hairpin trigger. everyone is scared. some of them handle it better than others, but scott doesn't fault them either way. staying busy is what he's been clinging to. focusing on what he can do to help, which doesn't feel like much ; salvaging for supplies, making himself available for whatever takes priority, checking on the people that need it and the ones that pretend otherwise. to mixed reviews, so far, but claire's never snapped at him or brushed him off. he's hopeful because he has to be, because the alternative looks too much like giving up.

when she talks, after a minute's hesitation, he doesn't interrupt. something aches under his sternum, like pushing hard on a bruise. the fingers of one hand trace absent circles in the sand beside him. he's quiet, plaintive, but none of it reads as pity. navigating something like this on top of everything else that's happening to her is no small feat. her smile's returned, soft around the edges. " c'mon, it's lucky to have you. even if this is temporary, you know — you've kept it safe for this long. you'll make it for a little longer. we'll make it. " off this island, back home, back to their lives, for better or worse. " trust me, you're gonna be alright. both of you. "

[timeresponsible]

i was listening to a sarah jane adventures analysis (because i'm twenty six and this is my life) and realised how cool it is to have a character who spans over several decades, who can then be 60+ and still have lore dropping about them (ie finally exploring why/how sarah jane was an orphan in, like, season 3 of a spin off) and how i want a character like that, and then realised that claire 100% can be that character, and i can write her at any point in her timeline. when she's 60, 70, 75, etc, her time on the island is just part of her backstory. and that's really cool.

[timeresponsible]

IN DEFENSE OF: charlie pace & his relationship with claire.

i have made it no secret that i'm an absolute ship whore (and i ain't gonna start denying it now, homie!) but also that -- in canon -- i adore claire and charlie together. however, in recent years, i've seen that a lot of people have shifted their view on charlie and process his character differently to how they did 20 years ago (valid, fair, reasonable, responsible, we love growth) and it's had an impact on how they feel his character & relationship with claire. but i did just want to speak on it as a claire girlie and a charlie stannie, because it isn't like One Opinion that i've seen, and more seems to be the Wildly Accepted View Point.

something i've always loved about their dynamic is that a) it is very clear that charlie's feelings for claire develop faster and more intensely than hers do b) he accepts this, and waits for her -- and if she'd shown zero romantic interest in him, he'd still want to be her friend; he is drawn to her, and wants to be around her in whatever capacity she'll have him and c) they move at a realistic pace considering their circumstances and the timeline

it would be very easy for them to have been written as "they're soulmates, so it just works!" but instead, we are given something slower. we never hear them say they love eachother, and we see them kiss twice. keeping in mind, they knew eachother for three months. and while charlie became a lovesick puppy almost instantly, claire was more reserved* and, what one might say, realistic. for a dreamer, she really had her feet on solid ground here. she points out to charlie several times that they hardly know eachother, she expresses to locke that she feels he's overstepping a little bit ("it's like we're playing mum and dad to this baby, but i don't remember marrying him") and points out that they're still getting to know eachother ("i didnt know you were so religious!") and she does what she needs to to protect herself but, more importantly, aaron. three months while on a deserted island, isolated from the real world, with minimal other people around, and in high steaks situations (you ever here about that thing that's like "you don't know if you can be with someone forever, until you've experienced grief with them, as stressful event like moving, and seen them when they're sick" or whatever it is? they had all of those instances) is more intense and "more time" than seeing someone for three months around work, and seeing friends, and going to the gym, and getting groceries. but to claire, it's still three months. one of which, she was pregnant. and charlie, once settled, is more content in this, too.

*i do also adore how this is paralleled in the flash sideways: it's charlie that sees her first.

from charlie's pov though, he just wanted to help. the reason claire is so well suited for him, is that she makes him better. both instinctively, and purposefully; it happens naturally in some ways, and in others he really had to try. there is no scheme, no hidden agenda, no ulterior motive: he just wants her. he is drawn to protecting her, and this only gets stronger after the events of raised by another, because he feels he let her down. he wanted to protect her and didn't. his love for claire is something foreign to him: it's pure, innocent, stable, wholesome. a future worth having, not just something to get him to the next thing.

it is fair to point out that claire had her reasons for being more hesitant, but it's then dismissive to ignore the inverse of that; charlie had his own problems too, and shifting his attention away from the drugs and onto something productive, that aligns with his actual morals and values and not his addiction's, was natural. he's very all or nothing, and he always needs a purpose.

all of that said, the insinuation that her feelings weren't reciprocal is bonkers to me. fear plays a large part in their relationship. charlie's fears are in losing her, letting her down, fucking it up, putting her in danger, not being what aaron needs, failing. claire's are in the possibilities that letting him in opens up -- one of her main drives is her intense abandonment issues (which were only recently reinforced with thomas breaking up with her) -- and making herself and aaron vulnerable by growing attached to someone. her own feelings scare her, and she almost wants to logic herself out of them, because she knows that she shouldn't be feeling the way she does while also being in the scariest situation she could ever imagine. she is terrified on the island, especially once they move to the caves. yes, she makes the most of what she can, but that's just who she is as a person; enjoying the beach and the water and the sunshine is marvellous, but it's not much when compared to the constant threat of danger on the island. her diary confirms this. and then charlie makes her feel safe.

other than shannon, claire is the youngest adult on the island. she's not involved in all the jungle drama, and everyone avoids her gaze and keeps things from her to protect her: she's alone. and all charlie wants to do is prove that she's not alone. nothing about claire ever scared him -- not the responsibility of her having a baby, not them living on opposite sides of the globe, not his history of addiction -- until it came to either losing her or letting her down.

he doesn't always do right, but he does realistic, and I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, his motivations and intentions were always in the right place. this is what matters. and is also how claire is able to forgive him for things like the incidents in fire + water. if claire didn't have strong feelings for him, and see the goodness in him, believe his word... THERE IS NO FORGIVING THAT. the amount of faith she has in him is enough to allow her to let him start building the trust back up (something claire finds near impossible) because all of his positives outweigh the broken bits, in time. again, three months. it's early days, and there are lumps and bumps that need ironing out; conflict is natural, and healthy when resolved. and keeping empathy in mind, it needs to be remembered that throughout the entirety of their relationship, claire was either pregnant or freshly postpartum. those hormones are no joke. every feeling she had was likely intensified (and further amplified by sleep deprivation in the beginning, but she does say in maternity leave that aaron is sleeping through --- to be honest, bit of a stretch, but mine slept through from 3 months, so... i'll say it's canon) and deeper rooted than it would be otherwise; if she was mad, it felt justified, morally correct, and earth shattering. charlie going through withdrawal & sobriety in that time is also not to be glossed over -- he endured something very intense, with minimal support, and it did an absolute number on him both physically and mentally. for them to build something beautiful together throughout this, is both crucial to them as humans, but further ties in with lost's theme of having a soulmate**. they helped eachother grow.

a massive part of the tragedy of their relationship is how brief it was, and that it was cut off long before its time; they were only just beginning, and it ended. and then claire had to wait 60+ years to see him again. but what is so important, is why charlie knew he had to die. the safety of his girlfriend and her baby was worth dying for --- the man branded selfish and incapable of love becoming the man who, to the best of his knowledge, made the ultimate selfless sacrifice. one of the things that pops up regularly within the Wildly Accepted Opinion, is claire's behaviour after he dies, so allow me to explicitly say: the choices made by writers doesn't always align with a true reflection of the character. there was too much going on for them to juggle it all, and with emilie about to be written out, claire got sidelined. she was hardly a priority in the first place, but there just wasn't time. unfortunately, this meant that claire's grief didn't get any air time. THIS DOES NOT MEAN IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. for me, i would have preferred to see it. but we can also assume, given what we know about claire and her relationship with charlie, that her mourning happened in private but for what we did see... i don't know about you, but i don't tend to have the all mighty crashout of my life and literally go insane after the death of *checks notes* someone i didn't love. or hallucinate being saved by them. it seems to be understood that her upset in the aftermath of her relationship with thomas happened off screen, the rage after parting with her father as a teenager happened off screen, and /// happened off screen, but accepting that she'd get aaron to sleep for the evening and sob until she'd dry heave at the thought of charlie's body at the bottom of the ocean, with hurley torn between going into the bedroom to comfort her and pretending none of them can hear her to preserve some dignity... is too much? especially when we know that claire keeps things in as much as she can, and only has her most intensely emotional moments around those she feels safe with - keeping in mind her final flashback in par avion; she goes in to see her mother with the intention of keeping it together, for it to be her usual visit, but can't keep it in ---- no nurses, not even another conscious person in the room, and then it all finally comes out... it had been four years since the car crash, and it only came out then. her monologue to aaron in maternity leave is after a highly intense day, fuelled by fear for her son's safety (which heightened her emotions and made her feel like more was at stake than it was) and is only to her baby, who cannot understand her but she feels needs to hear what she has to say, and for it to be put into the universe. when she argued with thomas in raised by anotner, she does cry, she gets upset, she does get angry, but it's safe to assume that they've been together a fair amount of time now, and she felt comfortable ---- and even then, i've always imagined that the depths of her rage weren't something he ever saw. i know for a fact (because i made it up) that she ripped those curtains down the second he left and THEN let the real crying out. giving birth in the jungle is another moment of her being vulnerable, but i feel that doesn't need speaking on... she was literally giving birth. she was terrified. her fears came out in verbalised waffle, because of the circumstances. so when we keep in mind the instances we see the peaks of claire's negative feelings, why would we expect to see her unload them all onto... sawyer, of all people? given more time, yes, potentially, absolutely ---- but the time between charlie's death and claire's disappearance is a matter of days.

the above in mind, referring to claire's deep emotions, i often see charlie's instability being a reason why he wasn't good enough for claire, so if i may take a break from pointing out the positives in charlie and lifting him up and instead pull claire down a bit: she's slapped him. she yells. she's hot a cold. she pushes him away. she lets him down. she disappoints him. and as the viewer, we see why; she slapped him because of what he did to aaron and, while i believe violence is never the answer and hitting is wrong, MANS DESERVED IT AND I'D DO THE SAME IN HER POSITION. but we must remember that charlie was asleep, he was paranoid and in withdrawal, he wanted to help, he thought he was saving aaron. so from his pov, at the time, it's a knee to the stomach. and, in time, she's able to understand his pov and move forward. he offers her the same grace with her own imperfections. they are a very equal pair. claire is not this flawless angel who is too good for the mancunian version of the devil. they are a very normal, realistic pairing. he literally just wants to make her happy.

[timeresponsible]

* question starters

‘ how could you? ’

‘ where were you? ’

‘ what are you running from? ’

‘ what’s wrong? ’

‘ do you want a blanket? ’

‘ did you throw a rock through my fucking window? ’

‘ are you even listening? ’

‘ oh, is that the story? ’

‘ are you drunk? ’

‘ are you lost? ’

‘ are you trying to hug me? ’

‘ what are you staring at? ’

‘ is this your idea of a sick joke? ’

‘ do you still care about me? ’

‘ forget something? ’

‘ leaving so soon? ’

‘ will you cut it out? ’

‘ who did this? ’

‘ does it look like i’m laughing? ’

‘ were you singing? ’

‘ is that a bruise? ’

‘ is that blood? ’

‘ are you trying to get us killed? ’

‘ was that an apology? ’ 

‘ did you hang up on me just now? ’

‘ can we leave? ’

‘ well, did you? ’

‘ you started those rumors? ’

‘ are you in trouble? ’

[timeresponsible]

♡ for a starter ╰┈➤ claire & sawyer.

she's volunteered forced herself into the lion's den, with a group of strangers being her only protectors -- what could possibly go wrong ? the level of unease that claire has felt since returning to camp exceeds her limit; she can't continue on like this. with each day that goes by, familiarity is settling in and trust is slowly building, but it means nothing if she can't relax fully, the threat of her being taken again ( or worse, those people - whoever they are - only taking the baby ) looming over the camp. they're terrorizing these people. it has to stop. brave isn't exactly a common word in claire's vocabulary, but she's trying -- and failing -- to play the part as they begin their trek into the jungle to trap ethan. they don't need to split up just yet. in the last few days, fragments of memories have begun to slot together, but the image that the puzzle pieces create is still blurry. some are still missing entirely. "what's your name again ?" she asks the man with the southern accent ( @withguilt ) , fingers trembling beneath the cuffs of her sleeves. she's trying to follow kate's footsteps, only stepping where the other woman leads, but claire's got a lot less balance than her these days, and every snap of a twig underfoot feels like a fall-threat. the others have gotten so far ahead already, and the clouds that peep through the ceiling of trees look heavy. "if i'm gonna put my life in your hands, i think i should at least know your name."

[timeresponsible]

♡ for a starter ╰┈➤ claire & jack.

IT'S NEVER NORMALLY THIS QUIET. besides the crackling of the fire, and the gentle way the waves lap at the beach they've started to call home, as well as bernard's distant snoring from a few tents over, the camp has fallen silent. even baby aaron's fussing has ceased in the name of finally falling asleep, and they haven't heard ominous roaring from the jungle in weeks. what a win. claire knows she should be sleeping ( everyone and their father seems to be keen to tell her so, despite her paranoia usually springing her into a half-arsed attempt at alertness the second the baby stirs or the wind blows ) but she'd taken the opportunity to ensure her latest concerns about aaron's wellbeing were nothing to worry about. what a spot of luck, eh ? if she's to be stranded on middle-of-nowhere-island, at least it's with a doctor ( @withguilt ). ❛ did you always know that's what you wanted ?❜ claire asks, now that she knows aaron's little cough is... well, just a little cough. these people have become neighbours, even a makeshift family, but she realises that she hardly knows anything abut any of them, or their lives before they intertwined. ❛ to be a doctor ?❜

[timeresponsible]

›     FIRST   TO   ADMIT      →      receiver    to    sender.

i   think   about   you

you   make   me   nervous

you   feel   like   home

don’t   leave   just   yet

i   missed   you   today

i   want   you   close

you’re   hard   to   ignore

you   matter   to   me

my   heart   knows   you

i   care   too   much

you’re   all   i   want

i   waited   for   you

i   feel   it   too

i’m   drawn   to   you

it’s   always   been   you

i   can’t   stop   looking

i   like   you   more

don’t   make   me   fall

stay   a   little   longer

i’m   not   over   you

you’re   more   than   beautiful

you   feel   like   safety

i   need   you   here

you’ve   ruined   my   plans

i   can’t   unfeel   this

i   like   your   laugh

you   have   my   attention

you're   in   my   dreams

i   noticed   everything   about   you

i   didn’t   mean   to

just   say   the   word

i’d   choose   you   again

you’re   impossible   to   forget

i   want   more   time

i   still   remember   everything

i   can’t   fake   this

you’re   not   just   anyone

i   want   to   try

i   want   you   badly

i   wish   you   knew

i   think   you   know

i   meant   every   word

you’re   more   than   enough

you   make   me   better

i   feel   something   real

you’re   messing   me   up

i’m   not   afraid   anymore

don’t   make   me   say   it

i   love   your   voice

you’re   too   important   now

i’d   ruin   everything   for   you

i’m   trying   not   to

you’re   in   my   blood

don’t   let   go   yet

i   ache   for   you

you   already   know,   right?

i   didn’t   expect   you

you   mean   so   much

this   can’t   be   casual

i   need   to   tell   you

it’s   killing   me   inside

you’re   all   i   see

i   feel   so   alive

i   wanted   you   first

it’s   always   been   this

i’d   wait   for   you

you’re   more   than   temptation

i   keep   choosing   you

i’m   not   good   at   this

please   don’t   walk   away

you   were   worth   waiting

you   make   it   hard

it’s   not   just   physical

i   feel   every   second

i   want   to   stay

i   can’t   do   this

say   something,   anything   please

you   still   have   me

i’m   not   pretending   anymore

this   is   all   real

just   let   me   in

i   feel   everything   now

i   tried   to   hide

you’re   already   in   deep

this   changes   everything,   doesn’t   it?

i’m   terrified   to   lose   you

don’t   make   me   guess

you’re   all   i   crave

i   wasn’t   supposed   to

this   is   more   serious

i   didn’t   expect   this

i’ve   never   felt   this

you’re   messing   me   up

can   you   feel   it?

i   don’t   regret   us

i’m   scared   it’s   real

we’re   not   just   friends

you   feel   like   forever

do   you   feel   it?

i   think   i’m   falling

[timeresponsible]

big fear is accidentally interacting with something that's mutual only because i thought we were mutuals and we are, in fact, Not