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I don’t know anymore.

Something is wrong with me. I don’t know what, but there’s some part of me that is slowly deteriorating (I’m resisting the urge to make an Infinity War reference because this is serious). Some of my friends have noticed it and even the girl I almost dated noticed it and she knew me better then everyone else. I have moments where I’m fine and happy and laughing, moments were I’m being me. Then there’s times were I’m just sad and don’t know what to do with myself and I don’t want to talk to anyone or do anything. It’s been getting worse in the recent weeks and I’m beginning to push everyone away. The girl I almost dated whom I mentioned early is tired of me. She’s tired of me not being the girl she first met. She doesn’t really want to be with me anymore and I told her there’s something wrong with me, but she has her own issues to deal with so I can’t talk to her. Whether we will date or not, I don’t know, I hope we do. I need to fix myself first, I need to be better. I can no longer tell her what’s going on with me so, I’ve come to the point were I feel so alone and helpless. Sometimes I just don’t want to be me. I want to start over and be a person that doesn’t screw everything up or push people away. If you read this far thank you, I doubt anybody read this far but still.