tiredofbrooding - Tumblr blog

[tiredofbrooding]

what you don't get is science exists because people can love. medicine exists because people love each other enough to want each other to live long healthy lives. astronomy exists because someone loved the stars and the planets enough to track them through their ever changing position in the darkest night. science exists because humans are curious little creatures and we want to know the world around us and understand it like it does us. we know stars and planets worlds away, we've sent cameras worlds away, all because we love the universe, and we also put love in those satellites!! we sent the sound of a 100 languages, lovely messages, the sound of rain and a laugh, all out there just in case there's someone in the universe looking for us like we do them, and so that they know that they were never alone, and we sent them the most simple loving things we could find.

science exists because people can love

[tiredofbrooding]

jadebloods assigned to take care of the grubs: ^-^ love my job!

jadebloods assigned to the giant insemination turkey baster:

[tiredofbrooding]

thanks for all the affirmation— i know it can be annoying when i need so much but you saying that i’m good means the world to me

[tiredofbrooding]

my love isn’t limited to your good days or your smiling face or your nice smelling hair. let me love you when you’re torn up, when you’re unable to speak or smile, when you need me.

[tiredofbrooding]

btw *dies from lack of being kissed*, if you even care

[tiredofbrooding]

But the thing I will never admit to anyone who's met me is how desperately I want to be loved, I don't think I could say it. How I want someone to hold my wrists and kiss my palms and smile at me, and want me, I want to be wanted and I don't know how long poetry or songs will substitute for being wanted.

[tiredofbrooding]

when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”

[tiredofbrooding]

kindness? what kindness? how?

venetta octavia “burning” // benjamin alire sáenz “aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe” // the mountain goats “sept 15 1983” // @twinnedpeaks “from the peel” // “whisper of the heart” dir. yoshifumi kondō // mccafferty “alligator skin boots” // mary oliver “dogfish” // jaymes young “i’ll be good” // gillian flynn “sharp objects” // stephen universe “love like you” // julian k. jarboe “everyone on the moon is essential personnel” // cassandra troyan “kill manual”

[tiredofbrooding]

oh to be in a silk nightgown in front of a vanity removing my makeup while my partner lies in bed watching me lovingly

[tiredofbrooding]

gaslight gatekeep girlboss girlban <- NEW

[tiredofbrooding]

not only did i show you my boobs but i also showed you my mental illness

[tiredofbrooding]

what if we took polaroids of each other and then i kept one of you,,, and you kept one of me,, and we put them in the back of our phone cases,,,, just a thought,,

[tiredofbrooding]

yeah yeah yeah mortifying ordeal of being known and all that but sometimes a friend mentions something about you that you didn’t think was noticeable and it feels like your heart is being cradled in their hands

[tiredofbrooding]

what if we were in a library and i was sitting on the ground reading a book and you knelt beside me and put your fingers under my chin and kissed me?

[tiredofbrooding]

i'm very [i love you most ardently] [it's rotten work not to me not if it's you] [i can take care of myself just fine. no. what do you mean no? no] [i can't explain the state that i'm in the state of my heart he was my best friend] [you want to die for love you always have] [you are my sweetest downfall i loved you first] [i should have gone through life half awake if you'd had the decency to leave me alone] [he's more myself than i am, whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same] [he was pointing at the moon but i was looking at his hand] [it was not intended as a compliment. it was a confession] [he is half of my soul, as the poets say]

[tiredofbrooding]

i love how much you love the world

oh, love, how couldn’t i? the world was made for loving. sunlight filtering through a canopy of trees, the smell of the wind before a rainstorm, the sound of delicate, distant music when you are out in the world  –  and the accompaniment of something so simple as a song catches you by surprise, so you linger for a little longer? everything is a melody for memory.

love is everywhere; with its warmth and attention and hand in unlovable hand and i love you i want us both to eat well and what will survive of us is love and i want to be enveloped by it. i want it to be so much of me that i am remade by it, able to hold my life in both hands and see it there alive, breathing, every edge glowing with bright morning light.

and yes, of course, i cannot go at length on how wonderful the world is without also mentioning that there are parts of it that are terrible, and ugly, and unkind. but knowing that there are so many out there who are working hard to counteract those parts? in everyday actions to wideset political change, to make right our atrocities and work towards a better future for everyone? where choices are being made for the benefit of the many, rather than the few? it’s choosing, every day, kindness and empathy and care, it’s connection. 

in retrospection of everything, everything  ––  on this planet, from me to you to the electricity that connects these words to you, to the clouds hanging above my home, to the moon and the tides and the birds and the clouds and all else  ––  can you believe just how small we are? on this planet, on this speck, floating around our sun, of this galaxy, of this universe? and can you feel it? how big, how expansive it all is around us? when you close your eyes, can you see it? the spinning, the light, the way it’s inside of us?   and can you imagine it? us, this miniscule blip of light in the long dark, floating through a void where down is up and everything you can see for miles  –  for spaces longer than there are words for  –  is darkness, except for an innumerable amount of other flickering lights? where some, up close, are near-unimaginable worlds, and others gods, giants, burning themselves up just so we can see them? just to exist at all, even as ghosts, as dreams? we are so alike, even as small as we are. we are made from the same stuff the way we are made from everything else; stardust and love and light and all. it’s easy to forget that smallness, sometimes, to fall back into the easy habitualness of life, work and classes and inbetweens. but here and there, there are moments that deviate us from our set normalities; the way light stretches across the sky before the sun sets, a melody of music that speaks a language we know only without our tongues, a book that becomes less words and more motion within us, where reading anything becomes art, becomes something we hold close to us, a love that’s solely our own. these moments make us feel alive, feel completely ourselves, wonderstruck in every way.  

these moments leave us unwound, instill us with a courage in ourselves again, with a hope for brighter days, and just; can you think of anything more powerful? more connecting? there is so much good here, between our palms, our teeth, so much magnificence? can you believe it? can you hold it in your hands, the fact that with love, with care, there is quite literally nothing we cannot do? cannot become? dream it, for just a moment, a second, then dare yourself again, for longer and longer  -  until it becomes something you can work towards. until it becomes tangible, palpable, something you can hold in your hands and say: look. look at what we can create. like some kind of divinity. here, i am small and weary and you don’t really know me, fully, soul-to-soul. there isn’t much i can do to help you, to ease the weariness. i only know so many words, so many tender things, and this is long and winded and makes little sense but listen, if you keep with you anything i say here, please remember this: that you are brilliant and capable and you have so much of that radiant wonderstruckness love in you. your potential?   immeasurable!   you can do anything, anything, anything. i hope you find contentedness. i hope you feel it unabashedly, like a deep breath that fills your lungs with light and gives you a name, unpronounceable and yet completely your own, and resonates like warm summer sunlight on skin. promise me that you will still feel it, eyes open or eyes closed, that we may be small but here, where we have love and where we have one another, together we are whole in a way that radiates brighter than any sun.

[tiredofbrooding]

you know what hits me about the "on purpose on purpose im going to love you on purpose" "i'll take care of you, it's rotten work, not to me not if it's you" "im going to love you without a single string attached" "i don't know where to put it all the love i have for her, i'll take it" "i walked in love with you with both eyes open choosing to take every step"?

they all have the same desire, they all desire for someone to Want it, for love to not be an accident or something that happens without recognising it, they all have the overtones desire of wanting someone to deem you worthy of love, to see you and meet you and know you and Want to love you, to make that choice and stick by it because loving you or being loved by you is something so deeply worth it and fulfilling and moving and powerful that they Want it, in their soul they crave to love and be loved

they're such varieties of the basic desire to be wanted

they say these things and they mean "love me because i am lovable" not "love me because you find me desirable/you have realised you already do/you want something from me" etc

it's "love me because i am me and you are aware of that" and it's something you can just scream to someone when you can't find another way to say "i am choosing to love you because loving you is something i want to experience no matter the outcome"

love them . On purpose, on Purpose and by choice and intentionally you will Love Them