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tiredpanfried · 5 months ago

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Hi, I just read your post. I need you to understand that you deserve aftercare, always. No matter your kinks or how hardcore the sessions can be.

I know this might sound rude but I'm glad he didn't contacted you again because that whole session was a major red flag, I think you should block him tbh.

Even if you're into hard kinks your partner should always make sure to not cross any boundaries and you should be able to have a safe word and a safe gesture (for when you can't talk) so they know when to stop. And even in cnc you have one - usually you have a fake one so you can say it and they can 'ignore' it and keep using you, and you have a real one that when you use it they stop everything and check in on you.

And again, even if you don't use the safe work and you actually like everything that happens in the session your partner still needs to have aftercare time with you, make sure you have water, that you pee (to avoid risk of infections and stuff no matter how clean you both are), and if the session was to intense to make sure you eat something. And they're supposed to hold you and reasure you and ask about what you liked or disliked from what just happened so they know better the next time.

I'm terribly sorry you had such a bad experience, please know he was the one way out of line. I hope you can feel better soon, please take care of yourself, you deserve to be treated with care and respect before, during and after any sexual encounters.

I would also suggest to buy your favorite ice cream and watch your favorite movie to help with the sadness.

I send you a hug and lots of positive energy so you can recover soon 💖

Thank you so much for reassuring me. I had been beating myself for it but I feel a little better now. Thank you. 😭😭😭

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tiredpanfried · 5 months ago

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I have been a passive consumer of the posts here, scrolling every night. I’ve never found anyone irl to explore my fetishes of being degraded, praised and the like. I mean, I’d text but nothing would solidify to real life encounter.

Until, I met this guy on Hinge. He wasn’t that interesting but I went on a date with him anyway. The date was quite average and I was about to leave when he convinced me to go to his place for him. I pushed my boundaries a little and went along saying fuck it.

We were making out (obviously) and I told him we cannot do anything since I am on my periods. He asked me to go down on him and I said no in defiance. Somewhere around this no, he had started to choke me and then he slapped me. Idk, I think I was turned on. I love being a brat and punished and praised. I gave him a blowjob a few times, deep throating and he came in my mouth and my face.

We made plans of having sex some other day. He texted me a lot but within a couple of days, the texts became staggered and only sex related.

Last evening, I went to his place, dressed nicely from the outside but like a whore within (as instructed by him and from whatever I could learn from the internet.) I went to his apartment but he did not come down to take me with him. The last time, we held hands, we kissed. Nothing of the sort happened this time. He just took me to his room and started slapping me for saying no to getting my vibrator.

I asked him for water which he denied. He slapped me to such extent that a couple of pimple on my face burst open and my face had started to bleed. He again forced his dick deep down my throat, gagging me but never went down on me for once or even fingered me. He just started fucking me raw which I was completely on the fence of and never really discussed.

He called me names, denied me to orgasm but I wasn’t sure if I was really liking it. I mean, I was liking it and yet not. And once the sex was over, I had to ask him if I could lie down on his bed. He never offered me a blanket, we smoked a foot away from each other in the bed.

I even asked him if he could come close. I was on tears throughout feeling horrible about myself or thinking about my times with another guy who I genuinely liked, who wasn’t so rough in bed and fed me apples after sex.

We had a quickie again before I left. Even then, he just came in my mouth. He did not offer to drop me to my vehicle. Just shut the door on my face after a side hug.

I cried my way home. I love cnc, degradation and being treated like a whore, yes but he never texted me post that, so didn’t I. And I feel completely confused and depressed about this.

If anyone could provide any insight, I’d be thoroughly grateful. This is my first post ever and I keep my fetishes under a garb but after crying so much last night, I thought someone here might be able to help me.

Please help me!

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