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they didnt give me a penis because i would be so good at having boners i would literally win every boner compatition and thats why they were tooooo scared
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it's a hot day so Stede is wearing nothing but a pair of (indecently short) shorts while working in the garden. Ed is enjoying the view from the porch. he's been hard ever since he helped Stede rub sunscreen all over his back and shoulders and is starting to get a little desperate. later*, when he can no longer take it, he is going to drag Stede behind the bushes at the far corner of the yard where the neighbors can't see and fuck Stede's sweat-slick thighs until he comes, then spread his legs apart and lick him clean of his own come before finally giving Stede what he's been begging for since Ed pushed him down on the grass (permission to fuck Ed's mouth just as he likes) (it takes one (1) broken whimper from Ed and one (1) pleading look of his big brown eyes before Stede is spilling down his throat)
* "later" is in approximately 4.6 minutes when he brings Stede a glass of cold water and watches Stede's adam's apple bob in his throat as he drinks and a few drops escape the corner of his mouth and run all the way down to pool with the sweat at his collarbone. and Ed simply has to lick it all up
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Redrew a little bit of this art a while ago, but I don’t think I ever posted the edited one here, so this sexual sunday seemed like a good day to post it 💕
Ed’s gonna take real good care of Stede 😘
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Happy International Women’s Day to this twitter account and only this twitter account
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i’m going to start saying “sorry i was stimming” in an indiana jones voice forever now
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What does Stede Bonnet deserve the most? To be a cute little sauce pot! I saw these boots and bag for sale together and they were so Stede-coded to me, I can just imagine him strutting his stuff and checking himself out in the mirror while new-boot goofin' but only the boots and bag, he's too excited to style the outfit yet, he's just new boot goofin' Ed!
Look how cute he is!! I did this one for the NSFW edition of the Auxiliary wardrobe zine and I felt like he deserved a risqué little treat (although we all know it's Ed that's into into the knickers of that risqué little saucepan!! )
Did I do alternative versions? Yes! Like 7! And I will probably do more!! The ultimate power over this man and his sexy little sausage rolls!!! Mwahahahaaaa!!!
SAUSAGE ROLLS.
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Ed…! Stede….! ED! … STEDE!
I’d make a rubbish screenwriter.
If I’d written this scene, I’d have had Ed call out to Stede first to alert him to the fact he’d returned. ‘I’m back! And I’m over here’ sort of thing.
But it’s Stede that spots Ed and calls out to him. And it’s these bits of detail that make this show so precious to me.
The last time Stede saw Ed he was walking away having said their intimacy was a mistake, that ‘fishermen and pirates’ are nothing alike. And Stede lets him go because he knows Ed better than he knows himself. Knows he’s panicking, yet respects his agency.
And then Stede spots Ed across the battlefield. Blinks in slight disbelief. Possibly notices Ed’s back in his leathers. And he shouts to him. Shouts to his friend. Shouts to his lover. Shouts because he wants him desperately. Shouts to show Stede’s a constant in his life. All wrapped up in a single cry - ‘Ed!’
Ed has his back turned in combat when he hears his name in Stede’s voice. Until that moment, he doesn’t know whether Stede is alive. And Ed turns and just roars Stede’s name in return. And I always think the second, deeper ‘Stede!’ is like the bellow of a bull stud. It’s so visceral. So full of love and yearning and heat and wanting and promise. It comes from Ed’s core, from his bloody boots. There’s something of ‘Act of Grace!’ about it. A primal scream.

Stede tells Ed twice there’s nothing to forgive as they kiss; but he also does so by calling to Ed across that beach first. Stede doesn’t hesitate. He trusts Ed has returned for him, and Ed is fighting in the name of his love for Stede. And there is nothing Ed could do that would mean Stede didn’t want him to return.
Stede’s call continues to cast their love-story in the best light. It really is a true example of unconditional positive regard and the prizing of all aspects of the individual. There is always grace, and forever a way back to each other for these two. It’s the fullest meaning of Never Left.
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Is anyone appreciating how cute Ed’s little butt is rn
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thumbelina feeling very alone in the world, but little does he know there is a whole world of tiny people out there and a fairy prince just waiting to give him so much love...... ;_;
ref from thumbelina by susanna davidson, illus. petra brown
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Mer-cat Stede is here to save Ed cat from the Gravy Basket! 💛🐈⬛✨️ This lil' guy loves the ocean and is ready to help lost souls find their way home! He's also very cuddly and shiny! 💛🐈⬛✨️ (With this, the new ofmd kitty sticker set is complete! Etsy shop link below!)
https://smudgeandfrank.etsy.com/listing/1807640197
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this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen
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