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my regional managers are named dan and phil and when my coworker said "just so you know dan and phil might be stopping by" i momentarily forgot that fact and for a good half a second i genuinely thought british youtube sensations dan and phil would be coming to visit my workplace for some fucking reason

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nothing is funny.

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why he hitting that danisnotonfire smirk

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when you know someone doesn't need you to protect them but you want to anyway.

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Add Father Philip to the list.

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I think the hot new trends for this summer should be reading comprehension and critical thinking skills

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it's still you

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CUT THE FUCKING CAMERAS.

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@amazingphil

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I just know Phil has an album full of pictures just like this from all their trips 🥺

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Picture this:

You’re a gym bro named Chad, you take your gorgeous girlfriend named Lou Ann on a vacation to a mysterious tropical place. You decide to book a pontoon experience to have a romantic time together. But on another pontoon 100 meters away a loud obnoxious gay couple arrives. They see you and immediately start gossiping about you. The blonde one dives in the sea like a newborn giraffe and the loud one cheers him on like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. Then the loud one suddenly becomes very quiet and he starts projectile vomiting into the ocean that you and your lovely girlfriend were wanting to swim in. The loud one starts yelling at the blonde one to get out of the sea. A few minutes later they get picked up by the boat that dropped them off not 15 minutes ago. You’re glad that you and your girlfriend can have some peace and quiet now, only for the annoying gay couple to make a YouTube video about the incident where they publicly call you a 3.

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Enjoying Phil's chronic illness core outfit (ignore Dan, he's resource guarding)

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phil putting on any sort of dress or long wig: i am confident enough in my own gender and sexuality that this doesn’t affect me. toxic masculinity is a prison and there’s no reason in our modern society that we should be constrained by it. i can be a man and still enjoy traditionally feminine things and i don’t care what anyone else thinks

dan putting on any sort of dress or long wig: i’m a woman now

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ik we make fun of dan for giving up chocolate when its phil who isn't able to have it, but we all know that when dan bought marshmallows for a baking vid, phil sniffed them out and ate half the bag before the video started. this is such a common occurance that dan had prepared in advance with a second, more hidden bag of marshmallows.

like, man isnt giving up chocolate in solidarity; keeping all chocolate out of the house is the only way to keep another Cerified Dan And Phil Medical Incident ™️ at bay. the guy ate superglue for chrissake, we'd be fools if we thought a migraine would stop Mr. Sweetooth from eating any and all chocolate in the house.

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And what do y'all know about fanfic intros 🤨

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