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[tmntgirlie]

The Life {and Death} of Abigail Parker ~ A Transformers Fanfiction

They say that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. In my case, it was shown like a movie at the cinema, complete with a much too large bucket of popcorn.

At least, it felt like a movie theater. There was a large screen at the front, but only one seat in the auditorium. I assumed it was for me.

In the back of my mind, I knew full well it wasn’t a real movie theater. But that was easier for my mind to digest than the fact that I had just died. And I didn’t know what was coming next, if anything.

I couldn’t remember how I got to that room. It felt very similar to how when you wake up, you know you’ve been asleep for hours, but you have no idea how much time has really passed. How it feels to not know if you had only slept for five minutes, like it felt, or an entire lifetime.

It was unsettling to think about.

I sat down in my seat, the popcorn on my lap, and watched the screen.

The Life and Death of Abigail Parker

I watched my birth and all the gory aftermath that came with it.

I saw my first steps, heard my first words, all from the point of view of my own baby self.

I could feel my anxiety rise as I saw myself ride a bike with no training wheels for the first time.

The first time I drove a car, and the first drive I took by myself. Yes, I did make it to the gas station. I even pumped my gas by myself, something that had terrified me.

My first kiss. I did wish I didn't have to see that one again, it was enough to experience it once. We didn’t last.

In all, my life was uneventful. I had no major trauma, save for a few car accidents (only one caused by me, mind you) and the eventual end of my life. I never married, not because I couldn't find somebody worth while but because I just liked being by myself. That was what I told myself (and my family, when they asked) at least. Kids weren't in the picture, unless you include my various jaunts working at daycare centers and caring for my nieces and nephews. I loved kids, but I never cared to have my own. Not on my own.

It was an uneventful, but rather short life. I was only twenty-nine.

I watched in third person how I died.

It had been such a beautiful day. It was the beginning of summer, so it was not too hot and not too cold. The sun was shining, the trees surrounding me casting small shadows of shade. I could still smell the spring flowers in the air.

I got into my car for the last time, not even knowing that it would be the last time.

I watched myself merge onto the interstate on my way to run some errand that would never end up being done. In the top right hand corner of the movie theater-like screen was a timer. It began counting down.

0:30

I saw myself pull over to the shoulder after witnessing a pretty horrific car crash. I pulled up behind the accident, a safe enough distance away.

0:20

I saw myself run to the driver’s side of the nearest car to make sure the driver was okay. She was. The driver was already on the phone with 911.

0:10

After confirming that help was on the way, I turned to walk back towards my vehicle.

0:05

That car just came out of nowhere.

0:03

0:02

0:01

Before the theater-like screen faded to black, I saw myself barely look up, much too late to do anything, at a car driving right at me going at least eighty miles per hour. My breath hitched, and I could feel the bucket of popcorn fall to my feet. It wasn’t any easier to experience a second time.

“Are you ready, Miss Parker?”

I didn’t even get to answer.

Chapter 2

[tmntgirlie]

Which of you heathens is getting married

[tmntgirlie]

[tmntgirlie]

Me rn

[tmntgirlie]

I haven't posted about YouTuber drama in so long but the thing with Ned is insane

He cheated on his wife with multiple women

Alexandria from Food Babies was his side chick at work

Ned said in Zach's podcast "Guilty Pleasures" that his favorite movie was 50 Shades of Gray (I'm adding this because it's a really disgusting piece of info paired with him cheating on his wife with a co-worker)

Alex's fiance broke off their engagement (honestly, good for him)

Ariel removed "wife" from her blog

Kwesi was also doing some shit at the party where the picture of Ned and Alex together was taken and went viral on Reddit

Try Guys now have to do a massive rebrand of their entire company

They have to remove Ned legally from the company as well as buy him out so he's no longer financially involved.

More fans are coming forward about their uncomfortable encounters with Ned, which is going to lead to people questioning how much the other Try Guys knew about Ned's flirting with other woman while they were doing shows.

What's going to happen with the Try Guys more recent projects (No Recipe Road Trip) and their newest content they announce before Ned started becoming less and less prominent in videos

Food babies is done unless YB can find a new co-star

Alex was also removed from the company (quieter then Ned was, but there are tweets about her no longer returning)

With Eugene not being as active because of his own projects, the The Try Guys may need to find a replacement personality for Ned, which also means they need to hire new people in general.

You Can Sit With Us Podcast will be without Ariel (If she divorces Ned she needs to stay quiet on social so she can get full custody of the kids, if they were to talk shit about Ned or bring up the cheating that can be used against her so she gets less custody of the boys)

[tmntgirlie]

allegedly

The videos were sent to Alex’s fiancée Will, who then called Ariel and spoke to her about the situation. I’m sure it was brought up to everyone else shortly after. They were probably having meetings on how to handle everything for a while now (I imagine also giving Ariel and Will time for themselves before going ahead with any action), but then stuff got leaked and forced their hand to act.

[tmntgirlie]

The Tri Guys Situation

This situation is kind of fascinating as a work culture case study because it kind of brings two aspects of millennial/gen-z work culture to a head and forces them to reconcile with each other. On one hand, there's sexual misconduct is taken much more seriously and there is a more nuanced understanding of consent and what constitutes an inappropriate relationship - basically the idea that the threshold for what constitutes sexual harassment becomes lower the more direct power one party has over another. Someone should never get involved with their direct manager and top executives/owners shouldn't get involved with anyone who works for the company. But the other side of this that start-up millienial/gen-z work culture is much more social and work/home is not thought of as separate spheres, this is especially true in the creator economy where your persona and home life is your brand. One of the reasons why Buzzfeed was able to be so successful at launching so many creator brand channels that didn't initially feel as messy and exploitative as a lot of homebrew youtube/tiktokers is they were able to find a middle ground between handling things like traditional employment while still having the creative energy and intimate social feel of the indie creator economy. The creators hated this because they didn't get to keep all of the money. Or they wouldn't get credit for their ideas. Or they would have to do things that they didn't want to do. Or they would have to work with people they didn't want to work with. Or they would have to, you know, treat it like traditional employment.

The Try Guys are really interesting because they took a format that was developed at a more traditional media company and moreover a lot of teammates and business relationships that they formed as colleagues and brought them over to company where they were the managing partners and owners. Further, they brought in a lot of people that they had purely social relationships with. It's not entirely clear that they really processed the amount of liability they took on when they did that. Yes - they did get to keep all of the money. Yes - they were free to pursue whatever project or sponsorship deal or whatever is was they wanted to do. But it also meant that having social relationships of any kind with any of these people was a way different thing than it was before. It's not that they couldn't be friends with their employees, but carrying on the same way they had before like nothing had changed, getting more involved, or pulling anything remotely shady was so fucking stupid. It's a recipe for something like this to happen. If Ned and Alex still worked for Buzzfeed, it would have been a "consensual workplace relationship" that maybe broke company policy and one or both might have been reprimanded or fired, but it's unlikely that Alex would have been his direct report, it's unlikely that the company would have been at risk in any way unless it wasn't consensual or one had abused their position over the other etc. It's unlikely that any one else's job would have been impacted in any way. It's likely they both would have signed a phone book of paperwork when they were hired that minimized the impact of this on anyone except their personal lives, maybe their personal brands etc. It might have been a scandal, but like much more of a personal life thing. Moreover, it's likely if they really had wanted to pursue a relationship with each other one could have just transferred to a project the other doesn't have anything to do with before anything became a thing. If Ned is managing director and owns part of the company, that is literally not possible. There is a "haha wife guy isn't a wife guy" irony element, but this situation is actually way different than the other referenced comps like John Mulaney or whatever. It is a discussion of about how workplace misconduct doesn't always look like what you would think it would, the dark side of "we're a family" work culture, and the responsibility business owners and managers have to their employees and their partners.

[tmntgirlie]

Let 2023 be the year of good old-fashioned internet drama. 2022 is a lost cause.

I’m used to drama like “James Charles sent n*des to a m!nor”

not “I cheated on my wife with someone who works for me”

we can finally bullshit about drama again

[tmntgirlie]

I’m so used to the drama BEING crimes. I understand adultery is a crime (I think) but we can’t compare it to... James Charles “drama”

I’m used to drama like “James Charles sent n*des to a m!nor”

not “I cheated on my wife with someone who works for me”

we can finally bullshit about drama again

[tmntgirlie]

NED TOOK ALEX OUT TO A HARRY STYLES CONCERT? YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING ME

LITERALLY

THIS MAN

[tmntgirlie]

I’m used to drama like “James Charles sent n*des to a m!nor”

not “I cheated on my wife with someone who works for me”

we can finally bullshit about drama again

[tmntgirlie]

They had recently announced only one video a week due to workload. Obviously editing out a whole person and making it make sense takes twice as long. They used to post two videos a week.

Keith didn’t do a Best/Least Best in Vegas Eat the Menu

Some locals claim that a major portion of the Las Vegas Buffet menu was missing- leading me to believe that Ned and possibly Alex guest appeared during those portions of the menu, and some portion of that was either Best or Least Best. Therefor, when saying Item A is the Best, they cut to scenes when trying it. They can’t do that if they don’t want Ned in those shots. So they just cut that part of the menu, and cut the last segment.

[tmntgirlie]

Keith didn’t do a Best/Least Best in Vegas Eat the Menu

Some locals claim that a major portion of the Las Vegas Buffet menu was missing- leading me to believe that Ned and possibly Alex guest appeared during those portions of the menu, and some portion of that was either Best or Least Best. Therefor, when saying Item A is the Best, they cut to scenes when trying it. They can’t do that if they don’t want Ned in those shots. So they just cut that part of the menu, and cut the last segment.

[tmntgirlie]

It was going so well

Until he said he is antil-abortion and pro adoption.

Back to the drawing board

[tmntgirlie]

I want to try something...

Reblog if you think that it’s entirely possible to have a loving romantic relationship without sex.

(I mean, obviously it is, but I want to see others opinions.)

[tmntgirlie]

HEY GUYS EXOVAPOR IS A MAJOR HOMOPHOBE WHO BELIEVES ASEXUALITY AND AROMANTIC PEOPLE ARE MENTALLY ILL AND HAVE "PERSONAL HANG UPS AND ISSUES" OF YOU GLADLY WANT I REBLOGGED AND GAVE HER A PIECE OF MY MIND BUT SHE BLOCKED ME SO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO THE SAME. IM AN ACE SUPPORTER AND ANY LGBTQ+ MEMBER IS SAFE ON MY BLOG UNLIKE EXOVAPOR

[tmntgirlie]

Citation needed, then we can decide who's more 'educated' 😘 If you're trying to prove something, its on you to defend it. Go on

I don’t know if you still take requests for tmnt but I was wondering if you can do something with all the turtles with an asexual s/o. Support, fluff you know all that good stuff. (If you want, if not then understood you can completely ignore this).

I take asks and they sit in my box until I have a story to go with them...unless it's a hard No from the beginning. Which this ask is a hard no.

As stated in my blog rules, you didn't read, I don't entertain individuals' hang ups and issues. Fiction is an escape. Don't bring issues to my blog.