tobedivorced

[tobedivorced]

Nine years and you never learned my favorite drink, what’s more heartbreaking than that?

[tobedivorced]

The big fight

Tuesday was D-day as I’ve been affectionately referring to it. Your mind was already made up and there was nothing I could say to change it. I couldn’t even process what you were saying and it felt like I was watching someone else’s story unfold, not my own life.

The big fight came four days later. You commented on how well I was taking this and I shared that i didn’t have a choice. “I don’t want to fight” you exclaimed. Your favorite phrase lately. Drop a bomb but try and avoid any fallout is your favorite game.

One question has been burning a whole in my brain all week, why? You quickly replied “no spark”. That feels like a cop out for something bigger. That feels like an excuse you give a stranger not the person you used to love. There may be no spark but there were embers and for me, they kept the fire alive and if you had given me the choice, I would’ve fanned them with a leaf if I had to, to grow the flames and create a spark again. But you didn’t give me a choice, and now I have to deal with the fallout of yours.

[tobedivorced]

TBD-the big D(ivorce) or to be divorced

Ramblings of someone waiting to finalize their divorce; navigating becoming a single mom, thoughts on moving, and whatever else comes to mind!