todaysdreamjournal

[todaysdreamjournal]

January 5th, 22'

'The Plane'

Had some actually pretty memorable dreams.

In one I was some sort of teachers pet, helping her do stuff in class. It cut to me in a classroom with students. They are all talking and at some point someday yells 'THERE'S A PLANE COMING RIGHT AT US'.

However it works in the dream world, we ran/jumped THROUGH a glass window, i presume that was open, as I could see the plane crashing inside the classroom we were just in.

REAL close call but I made it.

I remember being very sad and on the verge of sobbing because I didn't see my little sister.

In the middle of hysterics someone points her out, but it's weird, she's younger now , the younger kid sister version of herself.

She's actually kind of doing the familiar sobbing I remember her doing when she would cry as a kid, running towards me open arms. I embrace her happily.

I vaguely remember that I think her boyfriend might've been there too, having survived.

Symbolism: I feel like my sister being her age at the start of this dream and then eventually coming back to me as younger self subconsciously symbolizes me being sad that she's growing up, which Is true. The human brain can be so powerful..

-----------------------------

' The fight - Elotero man '

I remember liking that this dream was happening as it was occurring. I'm at a party with family and sitting at some pool chairs are some cute blondes.

At some point I think I attempt to flirt them up by having one of my little cousins go say something to them.

I remember them being told what I said, them reacting ambiguously and while that was happening, a cholo behind me telling another cholo ' Let's jump this kid' or something to that affect.

I remember a couple of guys trying to fight me but I would stand up to them all. Punching them all very good in the face, they couldn't hit me really.

It cuts to me 'getting away' in the front yard. I hear some lady in my family that I don't recognize calling for my whereabouts from the front yard. I powder my hands with silver hand powder. (Getting ready for another possible altercation?)

Instead of going back to the backyard I'm now in front of a delicious looking elotero stand with a mexican guy in front.

He's on the phone and there's 2 customers.

One says all in spanish 'Yoo there's elotes for $15 down here'

Elotero: '$14 for you'

customer showed his gratefulness

Elotero: 'You've got that price, come on down'

Now that I'm awake, it's comical that he would get excited over a $1 deal lol.

Fin

[todaysdreamjournal]

June 4th, 2019

Just woke up (3am)

Having dreams of being in a room and just killing rats?

Taking rats and just slamming them against the wall or with a shoe

significance?

no idea.

Also heard an unknown voice say

"only bearded fags kill rats"

kind of strange because i've been trying to grow a beard lately

(lol)

[todaysdreamjournal]

Friday, May 31, 2019

Life update: Close to getting extern done, love life nonexistent and lonely like it's always been.

Took a nap & had very strange dreams.

One I recall I was some type of experiment created by a man and i remember having superpowers of some sort, crying to him, wanting desperately to be approved by him.

"i just want to do good daddy"

or

[in tears]

"i want just want to be good daddy"

"you are my son you are"

In another dream I recall being in the back seat of a gangster leaders car, watching him drive around a race track.

Someone riding shotgun , turns atound says "the boss loves to race"

then the gang leader kicks it to the floor and we go extremely fast, I remember being extremely worried when I heard the japanese passenger say "the boss has never gone this fast".

then it dragged on for a few more seconds.

I know I had more dreams and they probably were interesting because i had a entertaining sleep.

too bad.

back to bed (12:04am)

[todaysdreamjournal]

Thursday May 23rd , 2019

There was this chick i went to college with named rosie, blonde. pretty cute, worked really hard & i admired that. other than a few casual break conversations we didn't really form a friendship but she was really sweet towards me like she would've been friends with me if she had the time.

dreamt that i was sleeping at her place and she asked me to sleep in bed with her, then in the morning we went around town together, woke up kind of sad for some reason.ive never been with her never even really thought about being with her , besides sexually, so why would i dream about her ?

questions i'd ask my brain

[todaysdreamjournal]

Sunday April 21 1:24 am

At my cousins place, listening to american boyfriend after a long depressing night.Been going steady with nelly for a few months and besides a few glimmers of good times, it's been mostly overthinking and sad episodes left and right with me.

Shes really mean to me in alot of ways, sometimes i feel she doesn't care about me at all, sometimes I feel I am too soft.

Am I too sensitive ?

Am I really in love or am I just hanging on because i'm too lonely to leave?

the story continues

[todaysdreamjournal]

April 6th 2019

Life update? Almost done with school.

Extern soon

Got my license!!! at 20 lol yay

Been kinda going out with nelly.

Was very happy at the beginning but it's apparent she's got a lot of personal life problems.

she never shows me affection and never really seems to care about me so that makes me feel really bad.

She doesnt seem to care about.... anything.........

I'm a man who needs affection, and she says she loves me, but it doesn't feel like it.

Maybe I should stop caring?

Dont know what to do.

I always just ride stuff out, even if it's going extremely bad.

Feeling particularly sad tonight.

[todaysdreamjournal]

February 19th 2:44 am

Just waking up in the middle of the night to say i had a couple funny ass dreams.One my dog was forced my my little sisters to use crunches to walk and she lookedso fucken funny LOL. In another i was waiting inside a red pickup truck with my cousin gerard when i dippedfast af around the neighborhood and some fat guy told me have a nice day(lol wtf?)

in the last one my pops brought me chili fries that only had like a drop of chili and were dry as fuck lol

[todaysdreamjournal]

Feeling sad

1/26/19

(Personal)

I dont really even know If Santana likes me.She always says I love you and teases me and I play along but deep inside myself I think she doesn't feel sincere about it.

I've been lonely for a long time now (almost 3 years?)

So Its not like I can just shut down her affection, even if it's fake.

I'll continue playing these horrible mind games because it's like an addiction for me, even if she's got a boyfriend.

I dont know what to do & my heart aches & Is hungry for sincerity and affection.

At least bobby caldwell helps soothe

: (

[todaysdreamjournal]

January 9th 2019

Mini post.

Had a dream last night me and Santana were together sexually.

I didnt get much sleep because I kept waking up at night but I faintly remember taking photos and other people being involved with us In a small gossip and I recall being jealous/mad about it.

I also remember being really happy in the dream.

Melancholy feeling.

Hope I dream about her again.

Side note: Santana continues to say vulgar things IRL.

Today my friend misinterpreted something she said as 'suck'.

So my friend asked 'suck what?'

& Santana of course said my name.

It's obvious she's not really into me and does this more as a way to play with me, but I like the attention anyway lol.

[todaysdreamjournal]

Jan 2nd 2019

Been sleeping all day, had two strange dreams, I know I had more but I was awoken twice in the middle of my sleep so I cant remember any.

First dream was all about motorcycles.I was in the garage with my father and we were talkinmg about an old beat up motorcycle I had, just talking about prospects for It.I don't remember much of the initial conversation but I do remember we were talking about a part for it , and I said its ok I have a job so I can get it.

After that I remember Riding through my neighborhood really fast and there was a bike behind me sort of following me, and then i drove extremely fast until I hit the driveway and slammed the breaks, I could smell the rubber from the tires.

I remember the motorcyclist came to me and stopped and looked at me, but i dont remember ever meeting him.

Dream two was a bit more weird.

I dreamt I was working as a hair stylist at some salon.I noticed myself in the mirror I had a very weird frontwards facing mohawk type of haircut, and I could tell by the way I was acting I was gay.I was dying a women's hair blonde and she kept telling me how she wanted one spot yellow and the rest not.I explained that it'd be extremely difficult that way how about this way, but she refused.We kept bickering on and off and she was very rude.I felt myself in the dream getting very stressed.I remember at some point in the conversation she said something to me and I was extremely offended, so I threw some type of dye powder at her, and stormed out.As I left I heard someone who I percieved as my boss say

'Someone get after him.'

I left fast and remember thinking I'd never be back there again.As I was walking I came across a vehicle that looked identical to my fathers, but very different in subtle ways.I stared at it as I walked away, I saw that nobody was In it, but I could sense something almost negative radiating from it, the stronger feeling was that I was being watched, but absolutely nobody in the vehicle, just the truck.

A very strange feeling.

That was all I could remember.

[todaysdreamjournal]

Thursday December 27th

Another late post lol

I'm currently sick as a dog, flu, so give me some slack 💊🤪🎾

Anyway i'll talk about two dreams I had recently.

The first one was a bit of a nightmare but started out pretty good.

I was at school and we were having some sort of a contest. I unfortunately have forgotten what the contest was but basically I won & the prize was to meet Frank Ocean.

Frank Ocean met me and we talked for a little while and then he ended up driving me home. We talked in the car some more, what about I have no idea, he had a deep voice.

After while I never remember being dropped off but at some point I was in a random town which I've never been to.

All of a sudden 3 hoodlums were chasing me maliciously with pocket knives.

I did parkour and peculiar tricks to avoid their blows but I do remember getting slashed on the cheek by one female hoodlum.

After this I cant remember much more and I woke up.

Dream 2 was really beautiful to me when I first experienced It.

There was a huge tree in the middle of a 4 wall sort of park, with a small entrance on the west side.

This "Park" only had the huge tree in the center.

I was on top of a rail just over the north side of the wall peering over it with my college professor.

We were both on our knees looking towards the tree almost as if spying on it.

I recall that my professor was teaching me something, I still have no idea what it was.

She had In her possession a film reel.

She would make me look inside the reel with one eye closed and I would witness scenarios of myself in different situations.

The situations seemed vital to my personal life, though I don't remember any of them.

I do remember one reel was of me wearing a leather jacket.

What was strange was Each film she showed me seemed like someone had video taped me without my knowledge.

BUT these situations never happened in my life previously, so It was sort of false but very real footage at the same time.

The aura of this dream was beautiful.

Besides me and my professor on the rail overlooking the tree park, there was nothing else. If you looked beyond the park walls the outer stretch was white, as If we were the only things that existed In that dimension.

I recall that the park was very forest like with large dark green shrubble

and vines falling from the tree.

I cant say for certain if other people were at the park but I think there mightve been a few people walking around casually, not noticing our presence at all.

Like I said the dream was very peaceful, everything about it just was so blissfull.I recall being so relaxed and happy, nothing could go wrong In this dream.

I loved It.

[todaysdreamjournal]

Officially Soulless https://www.instagram.com/p/BruIzIGlt5M/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=muwy4may6s3v

[todaysdreamjournal]

Outtakes, with my Rika lol https://www.instagram.com/p/BrcBq4EF89P/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1jynzdksargc7

[todaysdreamjournal]

Got a new strap for my guitar :0 more fun to play now https://www.instagram.com/p/BrTiGK7H4er/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1t67el4jns2cl

[todaysdreamjournal]

Playin the first song I ever learned , again. https://www.instagram.com/p/BrPGn1RlYI9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=14uvf7cnn6wv0

[todaysdreamjournal]

Monday, november 12 2018

Gonna be a short post since it's a relatively boring dream.

i had a weird ass dream where it was my family just chilling & there was a box kinda like a mini TV that had a black lcd and on the screen were little abstract red triangles just moving.

when u looked directly inside ur eyes would get fucked up but youd gain a power or something good would happen i cannot really explain but everyone was passing it and alex got it and he turned all small and started singing

"Like to relax when there's time" and then i woke up almost fucken dying of laughter at the concept that he doesnt have "time "

[todaysdreamjournal]

11/3/18 Episode #3

Had another Sleep paralysis episode tonight at 2am, currently 2:57am Saturday.

I had managed to fall asleep but my father woke me up to come help him catch a rat, we've had a breach of them lately.(Didn't get the bastard)

After i helped I layed down and tried to sleep again but my mind just kep thinking.I thought about school and how my new career will end up being and How afraid I am of not being ready. I somehow managed to fall asleep again after about 1-2 hours of just thinking alot.

Episode:

I started off dreaming that I was inside my pickup truck In the back seat looking out the window seeing the side view of another pickup truck.I started falling backwards In a very steady slow motion with my forearms arms raised In front if me.As soon as my back hit the truck backseat my hallucinations and concious awareness of the episode began.

I began the usual routine of my episodes.Become conscious of it, hallucinate, panick, clench eye lids shut, try to scream and move.

I began to see vivid abstract hallucinations of shapes and sometimes people.

I cannot remember everything I saw because once I was reacting to the stimuli of an image a new one would appear and transition by way of abstract shapes morphing one image into another.

I remember that same feeling I had in my last episode where I felt like i couldnt move but I was being picked up and dragged against the wall towards the ceiling.I begin to panick the most when that part happens.

As the images came rapidly I clenched my eyes shut to avoid seeing them and as always, It made the visuals much more intense and vivid.

I cant remember all the shapes or things I saw but one vivid scene I do remember Is of a black and white anime style female drawn character, no face.

She was riding a bicycle happily In a little rapid S shaped invisible bike path she was taking right towards me.As I was visualizing this scene I vividly heard the reeling of an 80s style camera clicking away as if recording.

Sort of like a rapid clicking kind of like tou hear In very vintage films.

I am greatful that the scene stopped when she reached me.

I am also greatful that besides this literal faceless anime women I did not experience any beings in the room with me.

I remember during the end of this episode my eyes were fluttering uncontrollably and at this moment I was peaking on fear and I remembered to wiggle my toes and after a few repetitions I managed to break the episode.

It seems If I let my mind race before bed or stress on something I have episodes.

The episodes are becoming more frequent, I am glad I manage to stay a little more calm but I'd rather not deal with them at all.