toegirth-blog - Tumblr blog

[toegirth-blog]

Mom help im gonna get mugged

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When your happy as fuck but your mom come with an attitude 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Family and Friends: “What could be better than having kids?!”

Me:

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For a book written by a bunch of older Jewish men, I’m surprised the Torah isn’t funnier.

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watching the play of the game when it isn’t you

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(via ablom2009)

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Kids work together to create eternal recess

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If you judge it by number of people involved, Santa Claus being fake is probably the largest cover up in history.

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“IT’S HIGH NOON”

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so i was on buzzfeed when this article came up about great american responses

and

i

am

in

fucking

tears

like these are so accurate

too

accurate

and

not evenan

exaggeration

about

how

we see ourselves

[toegirth-blog]

The recommended age to have an Ouija board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.

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You know it’s time to check your bank account when you’re too afraid to check your bank account.

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i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

[toegirth-blog]

How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?