toffeecooper

[toffeecooper]

we can still win this, folks

[toffeecooper]

biggest takeaway from the brian interview is that “toffee is somewhere”

[toffeecooper]

a sad day for those of us here at the Toffee Cooper Survival Watch

RAS said that essentially off screen they’ve agreed that Toffee died. 

[toffeecooper]

toffee cooper survival watch

EPISODE: Riverdale 5x10, “The Pincushion Man”

KEY TOFFEE FACTS:

- disappointed that she missed out on Jughead’s maple mushroom bunker bacchanalia, because cats who ingest mushrooms containing Psilocybin also experience hallucinations

- concerned that Betty’s sudden unemployment will mean a loss of health insurance benefits and cans of fancy tuna

- not sad to see Glen take a knife to the gut

END-OF-EPISODE SURVIVAL STATUS: Indeterminate

[toffeecooper]

toffee cooper survival watch

EPISODE: Riverdale 5x09, “Destroyer”

KEY TOFFEE FACTS:

- if Toffee were to be abducted by a mothman and taken into space, she would not be the first cat to venture outside of Earth’s atmosphere

- Toffee probably has about 12 whiskers on each side of her face, approximately the same amount that Jughead Jones has on each side of his face

- if Toffee were to actually eat the flesh of a human being, as depicted in Betty’s dream in Riverdale 5x04, she would only be able to do so in small chunks, because a cat’s jaw can’t move sideways

END-OF-EPISODE SURVIVAL STATUS: Presumed Alive, because there is no way Glen was going to walk into that house unarmed to deliver the news that Polly AND Toffee were both dead

[toffeecooper]

toffee cooper survival watch

EPISODE: Riverdale 5x07, “Fire in the Sky”

KEY TOFFEE FACTS:

- meow

- hiss

- the skins of approximately 24 Toffee Coopers could make one coat, according to this extremely normal list of 104 “interesting” facts about cats

END-OF-EPISODE SURVIVAL STATUS: Indeterminate

[toffeecooper]

toffee cooper survival watch

EPISODE: Riverdale 5x06, “Back to School”

KEY TOFFEE FACTS:

- whiskers

- fur

- teeth

END-OF-EPISODE SURVIVAL STATUS: Indeterminate

[toffeecooper]

toffee cooper survival watch

EPISODE: Riverdale 5x05, “Homecoming”

KEY TOFFEE FACTS:

- exists

- resident of Quantico, Va.

- probably not one of those cats that tries to punish her owner for going away on a trip by peeing on everything when they get home, because Betty doesn’t seem worried about it

END-OF-EPISODE SURVIVAL STATUS: Presumed Alive

[toffeecooper]

toffee cooper survival watch

EPISODE: Riverdale 5x04, “Purgatorio”

KEY TOFFEE FACTS:

- fluffy

- Betty Cooper’s only friend

- enjoys the taste of human flesh

END-OF-EPISODE SURVIVAL STATUS: Presumed Alive