tolsunflowerboi

[tolsunflowerboi]

yeah i drive the truck that isekais all those lonely 20yo NEETs and bored salarymen. it’s a really hard job. they keep sending me to workplace counselling after each hit. “it’s normal to feel guilt at ending someone’s life,” they say. how do i tell them that’s not what makes me feel guilty? “but it’s okay. he’ll live a better life in another world.” yeah, with 100 girls who could have lived normal lives but got drafted into being in these boring dudes’ harems. how many women’s lives have i ruined. and they don’t even know. they don’t even know

[tolsunflowerboi]

compilation of texts my mom has sent me when my cat is wailing outside my room and i haven’t opened the door for her yet

[tolsunflowerboi]

turns out it was cause they were just straight up eating the poisoned food out of rat traps which has a blue dye in it and had just developed a near total immunity another W for the glorious hog

[tolsunflowerboi]

I get so hyped whenever Bones gets a badass moment and a chance to use a one-liner. You go baby girl, give it to them "I'm a healer, but" style.

[tolsunflowerboi]

[tolsunflowerboi]

ON THE SHOW "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS," THE KRABBY PATTIES THE TITULAR SPONGEBOB MAKES PROFESSIONALLY ARE, PER THE SERIES CREATOR, VEGETARIAN. THIS IS BECAUSE NICKELODEON HAD RULES FOR THE SPONGEBOB PRODUCTION TEAM AGAINST DEPICTING FISH AS FOOD FOR OTHER FISH. SOMETIMES THEY BROKE THIS RULE

[tolsunflowerboi]

too many cute reshirement bagginshield fics where thorin becomes a sweet bumbling house-husband to bilbo and not enough where he starts playing hobbiton like stardew valley. he is thorin oakenshield son of thrain son of thror and he SHALL make the best blackberry cobbler for mid-years day and his enemies will WEEP for it

[tolsunflowerboi]

I swear the number of stars I can see at night has dwindled dramatically even over the past couple of years.

This is why when I am elected dictator of America, I will be initiating and enforcing a frankly draconian nation-wide dark sky program. You WILL be able to see the Milky Way, and you WILL NOT be able to see anything else. Hospitals get to keep their lights but as for the rest of you if you can't do it in the dark you simply do not need to be doing it.

[tolsunflowerboi]

just had an absolutely atrocious thought

[tolsunflowerboi]

many of you have uncles that died tragically

[tolsunflowerboi]

[tolsunflowerboi]

they hate to see an illegitimate son winning

[tolsunflowerboi]

what happened to hello. what happened to good morning.

[tolsunflowerboi]

Oh my god we actually did it.

[tolsunflowerboi]

Reading Matthew Perry’s biography. It’s so sad that he felt absolute guilt about how Friends became such a moneymaker while he was going through his addiction.

Like, this is biggest hit show ever, keeping hundreds of people employed, and you are the one that is risking fucking it up.

Marta Kauffman: “Come back from rehab early, we need you for the season 7 finale.”

He didn’t want to come back early. But Matthew understood.

His mother went on the phone and basically told Marta to fuck off.

Her son is sick.

Matthew went back anyway, because, hey Monica and Chandler need to get married. Ratings, you know.

[tolsunflowerboi]