tomtortillasoup

[tomtortillasoup]

Marigold

Summary: A normal day for V and Johnny as they enjoy eachother company without saying it to one another.

A/N: My favorite chapter solely because it’s just the two having fun! It was fun to write as well, I was trying to think of things Johnny would like to do if he was back amongst the living. It’s pretty short compared to the other chapters but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless. Also started posting these on AO3 if you guys want to check me out there :) same username.

EDIT: I went back and posted the original I had written, I had cut it down because I thought it was boring but my friend pushed me to post the og version so here you go! If you’ve read this please read so again:) also went back and fixed some spelling errors.

Word Count: 4,047

Chapter 4: I’ll Try Anything Once

“You’re still shuffling around a little, but believe me - you’re dead.”

“What?” You asked hesitantly, voice getting caught in your throat.

For the last couple days you had been tracking down Delamain’s rouge little car children thing, deciding to return the favor to the AI after he fixed your ride. It was already a hunk of junk but it looked brand new as it rolled out the garage, so you were indebted to him.

Most of the car’s personality were weird, like really fucking weird but this one - this one made you stop in your tracks.

“The talking is over. I’m going back.”

Watching the cab roll away you stood still, you didn’t have time to even worry about what it said before Delamain contacted you for a job well done.

You called your car, once inside you sat there for, fuck, who knows how long you hadn’t really been keeping count. The words the AI used hitting you like a bunch of bricks, why were you being such a sensitive little prick.

“V, how you feeling?”

Johnny appeared beside you, guess you really were out of it.

You groaned and laid back against the seat as you held your hands to your face, “Fuckin’ splendid Johnny, seems like everyone knows the I’m fucking dead except for me.” This wasn’t the first time someone pointed out your ‘death’, still didn’t make it any easier hearing it.

The first instance was when some food vendor asked for help against some thugs, you hadn’t even let out a full sentence before one of the guys recognized you as ‘that dead chick’ and ran off, second time was a fucking SCSM machine and now you have a talking car telling you that.

“Well it’s the fuckin’ truth, better start accepting it since you’re doing dogshit to fix our chip problem.”

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you fuck you…” You muttered to yourself as you still held your head.

Johnny ignored your comments as his eyes started wondering the outside world, Pacifica was nice enough. He enjoyed listening to the waves crashing, the smell of the saltwater air, even now as his senses became delayed and not as strong he still relished it.

What the fuck is that?

Johnny’s gaze stopped at a ferris wheel - well fuck him, he didn’t know Pacifica got an upgrade.

“V, let’s go.” He said as he took off his sunglasses.

You looked up at him confusedly, he pointed at the rundown ferris wheel with his aviators, he had a bright look in his eyes.

“You know those don’t work right? Corpos stopped building after the Unification war, eddies went dry.” The media couldn’t get enough of this new beacon of money and power, you were pretty young back then but you had flashes of it if you focused hard enough.

“Ferris wheel.”

You were defeated, starting the engine you started driving towards the teetering structure.

-

“Choom, you seein’ all those guns out there, I’m not going in there whether that ferris wheel works or not.”

Both of you looked out the window to see the entrance to the park be overrun by scavs, yeah no way in hell you’re attempting to go in there.

Johnny didn’t answer as he kept looking out the window.

“There’s your ferris wheel now c'mon let’s delta.” You told the engram, starting the car and ready to drive off before Johnny coughed, rather loudly and obnoxiously.

“Okay what now?” You killed the engine and threw your hands out in despair.

“The rollercoaster, look, we can walk it.”

Before you could get a word out, Johnny had quickly disappeared, you knew you could just walk away but then you’d hear his non stop moping about how we never do things he wants to do.

Whining man in your head for the rest of the day or an extra five minute walk before going home when he realizes it’s broken?

You started making your way towards the amusement park ride.

-

Once you had gotten to the rollercoaster it was surprisingly empty, you had quickly scanned it and found the power supply. After changing a couple cords and a flick, the machinery roared to life.

“We’re doing this, V.”

Johnny was set and ready in his seat once you had made your way back from the electrical box.

Fuck, were you really thinking of doing this?

You looked up at the rollercoaster, it went up pretty high, made your stomach churn just at the sight.

“All right, fine.”

Fuck it. At least if you die it won’t be by Johnny’s hand, if anything you both die and neither get your body so that was good enough for you.

You stepped onto the cart, the metal creaked under your weight, making you doubt yourself.

“Cmon V, you got this.” You muttered to yourself as you sat down, slowly lowering the safety guards over you, making sure it didn't budge as you pulled on it multiple times.

“Bet you anything you’re going to scream like a little girl.”

You heard a loud beep and the cart started going forward, well no going back now. Anxiety grew in your body as the ride kept moving, you sneaked a glance to Johnny who looked calm if anything.

The cart was on a peak when you looked forward again, this is it, you were finally going to die because of a stupid ride.

Time seemed to slow down as the cart started teetering downwards.

“Oh shiiiiit.” Johnny yelled out with a smile, you on the other hand started screaming.

“Fuuuuck!”

The ride started going really fast, your screams of fear suddenly coming to a stop when you realized you weren’t dead. It felt different, never in your life had you felt a thrill like this, the pit in your stomach started to slowly dissipate. You still yelled as you raised your hands up in the air, all the anxiety you had from earlier immediately replaced with excitement.

“Woah!” You exclaimed with a smile, looking back to Johnny only to see that he was already staring at you with the happiest smile you’d ever seen on his face. You only laughed harder at that, your cheeks were aching from all the smiling and screaming.

He grinned like an idiot but you knew you had that same stupid fucking smile. He really was contagious.

There were butterflies in your stomach each time there was a drop, and got even more intense when you went through a loop de loop. Both of you were basically giggling like kids the whole time, there was joy shared between you two. You literally couldn’t stop the laughter that slipped through your lips.

When was the last time you laughed like this?

At the highest point you could see all of Pacifica and the rest of NIght City in the back, you would assume the whole city would look small from here but no - it looked huge. You were quickly pulled from your trance as Johnny hollered beside you, another steep drop coming.

The ride came to a stop where it originally started, you were breathing hard and your hair was a tangled mess by the end of it. Your eyes looked towards Johnny again, and he looked back, a silly grin on his face. This smile was different from all the other ones you knew, they held no malice or sarcasm, it was genuine.

Johnny disappeared once the safety mechanism went up, you held onto his expression before he left - you’ll take that as a thank you.

You basically wobbled your way over to your car, your head was spinning and it seemed your body was still mentally on that rollercoaster.

Seemed that things were really going your way, when you went to turn on your car your favorite song started playing on the radio.

The smile from earlier was still plastered on your face and you sang loudly over the song and ran just a couple of red lights.

-

You were in a good mood, which seemed rare nowadays as most of the time you were trying to figure out how to save your own skin.

Constantly preoccupied with new leads, taking up any gigs for eddies to make ends meet, having no time for basically anything.

But today, today seemed different. I mean when does one get to ride on a rollercoaster nowadays, that was the best thrill you’ve gotten. And fuck anyone who thinks you weren’t going to make the most of it, it was like a sign that things were going this well.

Hell, you’d be lying to yourself if you weren’t glad to have Johnny here for once. It seems you guys were somewhat friends in the way you talked to each other, you were glad to share that joy with him up in the air - glad to not experience it alone. Wasn’t the first time he’d been nice like that before either.

When he played nice you’d reward him with a smoke and you guys would just sit in silence in your apartment, it was oddly comfortable, felt somewhat like he'd been there forever. And today he seemed to be playing extra nice, giving you space in your own head for once after making his little thrill ride come to life. You had a couple of packs around your place now, one at your place, one in your car, and one on you at all times.

Oh yeah that's another thing you picked up, smoking - at first they tasted disgusting and made you nauseous but after a couple times your mouth was constantly itching for one.

Johnny truly was a bad habit to have around.

You took one last bite of your scopdog - extra caliente, and lit up a cigarette as you watched the city. It never stopped, the people, cars, buildings, seemed like they were always moving, always growing.

The sun was beginning to set, you stared at the clouds peeking through the massive buildings - they were beautiful. It was painted in a stunning orange pink color, you forget how pretty the things around you truly are.

As you smoked you noticed a record store nearby, must be new considering you’ve passed here millions of times. Then again, you’ve never really looked at the city around you, just stared straight ahead to what you wanted. Maybe it really had been there all along, you quickly threw down your cigarette and stomped it out, making your way inside to the flashy store.

Immediately you were greeted by the loud music, you recognized it as something by Tinnitus but you weren’t too into them to recognize the track. The walls were decorated with many band posters and the place itself looked pretty decent, you walked over to the section of vinyls and started looking through any section.

You already had a vinyl under your arm, Lizzy Wizzy, when you came across the Samurai section. Slowly, you set the vinyl down as you started looking through what they had in stock for Samurai, you picked up ‘Blistering Love’.

“Can’t go wrong with the debut album.” Johnny said as he appeared on the aisle across from you.

You flipped the vinyl over to read the tracks on the back, you knew a handful of songs.

“It has my favorite song, ‘Ballad of Buck Ravers’.”

You debated putting it back, you didn’t really need it and honestly needed a way to avoid stroking Johnny’s ego.

A sigh escaped your lips as you grabbed your two picks of today and made a beeline to the register, ignoring Johnny's proud smirk he had before disappearing. Those were the usual smiles you were used to, fuckin’ prick.

You hadn’t even shut the door when Johnny reappeared in the passenger seat, “Didn’t know you were a Samurai fan.” He had that same smug smile as he lowered his aviators slightly.

“I once tried learning how to play one of your songs, fucking gave up after 10 minutes.” You told him as you started your car and drove towards your apartment.

“Woah I was just teasin’ kid, didn’t know you were actually a Samurai fan.” The smirk only grew wider as he looked proud of himself, what a gonk.

“Like a couple of your songs, don’t go jizzing your pants just yet.”

“No can do V, pants are jizzed.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Har-har, no but seriously, one time Jack tried teaching me how to play one of your songs and me obviously never played before sucked, hard.”

Jackie had to literally hold you back from smashing his guitar into pieces, you were so pissed that night, especially after he kept showing off afterwards. The guitar still stayed in your place somewhere, it was a solid acoustic guitar - a pretty brown color. It was probably collecting dust as the last time Jackie played was probably when he taught you. He left it for you to practice, and for him to mess with whenever he crashed at your place.

Johnny hummed at your comment, seemingly trying to grasp onto your thoughts to see your memories.

“Even though I can’t play for shit, I understand it now.”

“What?” Johnny looked at you questioningly as you snapped him from his thoughts.

“Y’know, the chords and stuff - I can kind of make sense of it, like if I hear a song I can decipher what they’re playing. I think it’s you though, or at least the relic.”

“Shit. It’s the gun thing all over again.”

Both of you had come to the realization that a lot of Johnny’s skill somehow made itself over to you about a week ago when you noticed your aim around a gun got good, like a lot fucking better. You solely used katanas since you’ve always had horrible aim with guns but now when you picked up a gun you hit your targets where it hurt the most. The only explanation that made sense was the relic, you had remembered how Hellman did tell you its job was to delete your own data and replace it with Johnny’s, but you hadn’t noticed any of your own skills worsen.

“Yeah, think so.”

“Well fuck, let’s go test it out.”

-

You walk into your small mega building apartment and are immediately greeted by Johnny who’s splayed on the couch like he pays rent.

“Beat you.” He says with a smirk, you noticed that he’d smile a lot more, even when he was being a dick.

“Don't count asshole, you can basically teleport anywhere.”

“You’re a sore loser V.”

You flipped him off, he looked surprised before he sat up and flipped you off - with both his hands.

Real fucking mature.

You walked over to a shelf nearby and put your new additions to where the rest of your records were kept. Okay V, time to look for that guitar and maybe embarrass yourself in front of your imaginary friend if you can’t actually play.

The last time you had seen the guitar was in your stash room, you had put it there since the last time, Jackie left his guitar on the floor where you proceeded to eat shit and chipped a tooth when you had woken up in the middle of the night.

That same night you drove to Jackie’s, angrily, might you add and waltzed into his room where you promptly scare the fuck out of him and had him drive you to a ripper to fix your tooth. You were grateful that Mama Welles never took away your access card to her home, telling you it’s your home no matter what.

You were right though, there in all it’s dusty glory was Jackie’s guitar, looked pretty old - even when he had first shown it to you. Padding over to the couch you made yourself comfortable across from Johnny as he started lighting up a cigarette.

The guitar felt big and clunky in your hands, it was quite obvious that you’d never held a damn instrument in your life yet it felt so familiar. There were small flashes in your head, hands playing guitar carefully in front of so much greenery in an open field - you’d never seen something so calming and beautiful.

You took a quick glance at Johnny, he was already staring at you with an emotionless expression - you didn’t have to ask to know it was his memory.

It didn’t look like Night City, no way there was ever that much nature here. Wait, is Johnny even from here? You realized you don’t know much about the guy, other than the basics of musician and terrorist. You wanted to know more about him, felt only fair as he could see anything about your life and literally live through it - but you know Johnny wasn’t the sharing type.

Deciding not to ask about it you fiddled with the guitar as some sort of distraction, you tried tuning it to the best of your abilities til you became satisfied, or more so Johnny as he nodded when you did it correctly.

“Uh okay so now what, what do I play.”

“Christ V, I don’t know - you said you could do this.” Johnny scolded, removing his aviators so he could give you a look.

“Fuck okay, okay, geez choom.”

You hesitated for a moment, testing out a couple strums before deciding what to play. Nervously, you played in the empty room, sound echoing throughout making it sound even louder.

Johnny couldn’t believe what he was hearing, V was playing - and real fucking well too. He recognized immediately that it was one of his songs, fuck it even sounded like the way he played. Wasn’t perfected like his but he was still surprised it was this good.

“How the fuck are you doing that.”

You stopped playing abruptly, surprised at yourself that it sounded way better than you had thought.

“Have no fuckin’ idea.” You replied, looking down at the guitar and back at him. “It’s fun though, now I get why you play.”

“Correction, it’s only fun when you know what you’re doing.” Johnny said smugly as he kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “Don’t think I didn’t see your memory of the first time you played.”

You ignored his comment as you absentmindedly started strumming whatever sounded good to you. Johnny seemingly relaxed into the couch as he listened to you play, still smoking as always. The silence was comfortable as you two shared this moment of peace amidst the cluster fuck that was your lives.

Well, what better time to ruin the peace.

“So…”

“Mhm. You want something from me.”

Great, you were caught red handed as he could read your face or maybe it was your thoughts. Good job on ruining the mood V.

“I uh, I saw something.” You confessed as you searched his face for any type of reaction.

He didn’t say anything as he waited for you to continue.

“I saw myself, playing guitar on a porch - staring at an field of flowers, it was nice.” You mumbled, still paying with the strings. You looked up and Johnny still laid from where he was, not moving an inch. “Except it was actually me, didn’t recognize that memory as one of my own.”

Silence.

“It’s your memory, right?”

“Yeah.” He confessed, looking somewhat defeated. Guess he didn’t ever want you to see any parts of his life, wasn’t much he could do to stop it, it was a two way road anyways. It fucking terrified him, having some random chick know everything about you that even those closest to you didn’t know.

Yeah he enjoyed your company but his memories were his, he spent too much time hiding his old life and identity for it to come undone for you.

“Where were you?” You asked with caution.

“Home. Texas.”

Now this was news, you didn’t know he was from Texas, didn’t exactly have country bumpkin written over him - no accent either.

“Didn’t know you were a Texan native, must’ve been a long time ago, y'know seein’ that you had both your ‘ganic arms and all.”

“Yup.” Johnny said, popping the p.

You wanted to keep going, you weren’t satisfied with the short answers. You so badly wanted to know more about the man that shared the same headspace as you. All the things strangers knew about him, it couldn’t be the whole picture of Johnny Silverhand.

Which one of them would know that loud reckless Johnny liked the quiet smog filled mornings of Night City. That he liked his coffee with sugar and cream after but he bitched to you that all you drink was bitter shit coffee. That he liked making you laugh, doing things in your line of sight just to make you smile, knowing damn well that no one else can see him other than you.

Johnny Silverhand was a fucking softie.

You stopped mid strum, “Cig for your thoughts?”

You let the question linger in the air between you two, Johnny seemed deep in though - maybe even considering your words.

“Can see what you’re doin’, ain’t workin’ the way you want to V.”

Well shit, can’t blame you for trying.

He didn’t seem angry at you for asking, but you decided to stop poking at him. Not really wanting to push your luck, instead you played a familiar tune and started softly singing along with it. Johnny looked to be more relaxed at the fact you moved on, analyzing you as you sang some shit song the radio would play now and then.

You wondered what would happen once Johnny was gone, like actually zapped and out your head. Would you still get to keep all his skills? Would you still somehow hold Johnny’s memories? Would you even remember Johnny or will it be like he was never there.

Secretly glancing at Johnny, you heard him quietly humming alongside you, you slightly smiled as you kept singing.

Bastard really is a musician at heart. You found it only slightly endearing, it was nice when your entwining lives came to a calm pause. Felt almost domestic, that scared you.

Your singing came to a halt as you slowly started freaking out internally, if Johnny took notice of it he didn’t show it as he continued humming to himself, eyes out the window.

Even when you lived with Jackie and Mama Welles - it scared you to have someone to rely on but later you accepted with open arms, with Johnny it was different. Not entirely a friend, definitely not your family, but also not your enemy - at least not anymore.

You dreaded the day that would come when you’d see Johnny as something other than an intruder in your body, someone that you’d come to care for.

No matter, not like that’d change that your life was your own and you’d do anything to keep it.

Anything.

Sighing, you grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of your pocket and grabbed one. You looked down to see you were already halfway through the pack, you only barely started smoking this shit, what the fuck man. You silently light it up, moving the guitar out of your lap to lay down on the couch.

“You got the guitar and nicotine addiction down, all you need now is to lead a shitty riot girl band and you could truly be a musician.”

Seems like Johnny always knew when you were overthinking, does he actually hear every single thought you had or did he just have crazy good luck.

“Kind of fucked that you’d think I’d play some riot girl stuff, kind of cliche no?” You complained, not bothering to look up from where you laid. The shitty taste of nicotine filled your mouth, it felt comforting now - god you really did sound like a fucking addict.

Maybe he just knew you.

“All musicians are walking cliche, you’ll fit right in kid.”

Maybe he knew you better than you did yourself.

You rolled your eyes but you held a smile on your face, Johnny's expression mirrored yours. There it was again, no ulterior motives under it, just a genuine, innocent smile.

Today was a good day, least for Night City standards, and you weren’t going to ruin that tonight.

[tomtortillasoup]

Marigold

Summary: The desert fucking sucked, V knew it, Johnny knew it. Still, there was friends to be made and corpos to find in the restless rocky dunes.

A/N: I’m really excited for the next chapter!! It’s all fun times with Johnny but for now you get V with PTSD. I think it’s a cool concept to write about a ‘badass’ merc that keeps getting triggered by death. Also this is still a lot of long dialogue from the game…sorry guys…At least it makes the chapter longer :)

Word Count: 5,780

Chapter 3: Check My Brain

Walking into the Afterlife made you nervous, your palms felt sweaty and every step down the stairs felt heavier than the last one. Last time you were there Jackie was still around, felt wrong showing up alone - scratch that, felt weird having Johnny in tow.

Getting used to Johnny was not as bad as you had originally thought, push that horrible first meeting aside and you guys were starting to meet eye to eye. It seemed that he always had a little comment about your everyday routine, from gigs to your apparent shitty taste in ‘everything’ as he liked to say. He liked to come out of your head and make appearances to the outside world, even if you were the only one who could see him. If you had to guess you assume it makes him feel a little bit like he’s actually back amongst the living.

You kind of wished Johnny would make himself appear as you walked past the bouncer, nodding at him and saying a quick hi as he opened the door for you.You were pleasantly surprised that he remembered you, feeling a small sense of confidence come back into your body as you walked with more determination. Making a beeline towards the booth in the back, you could see a glimpse of the Queen of the Afterlife herself, seeming bored out of her mind as some chick cursed her out.

The angry woman stormed out, bumping into the bodyguard outside the booth. She took a quick glance at you, “Be careful who you bargain with.”

Wow. As much as you’d love to heed her warning, you didn’t have people lining up to help you. Plus if Johnny vouches for Rouge that must mean something, right?

Right?

You turned away from the retreating woman to face Rouge, albeit her bodyguard blocked you from truly getting close to her.

“Rouge? Wanted to talk.” You said with a wave of your hand. Luck seemed to be on your side as she waved you down, yelling out a command to her guard to let you past.

Walking into the wolves den, she eyed you up and down as you stood in front of her, turning her body towards you.

“Hm. Not here, not there. Who’re you?”

“Name’s V.”

“And what is it you want, V?”

Johnny appeared from the corner of your eye, making himself at home on top of the couch as he stared at Rouge openly without his usual aviators on. “All these years…It’s really her. Fuckin’ Rouge, just kickin’ it back on a couch at the Afterlife.” He said in disbelief, guess you couldn’t blame him for being surprised that after being dead for 50 years he’d still be able to see his friend alive and kicking. He gave you a serious look as he nodded, “Don’t mess with ‘er. She’s got MR-eyes. See right through you. Give ‘er the truth.”

You had to stop yourself from nodding back at him, remembering who you were in front of and didn’t want to make an idiot about yourself as a first impression. You’d seen the awkward looks or how fast a person walks by you when you would stare at a corner for too long, obviously you would be talking to your new imaginary friend but for all they know you were on the verge of cyberpsychosis.

“Need your services. Gotta track a guy down.”

Rouge simply hummed, an invitation to keep talking.

“Anders Hellman. Hot-shot engineer. Worked for Arasaka.”

“Millisec.” She turned away from you as she called someone, “Anders Hellman. Pinpoint him for me?”

A small chuckle left your mouth, “Huh. Thanks.” She quickly cut you off before you could get another word out.

“Jumpin’ too soon. First, my help’s got a price. Second, and third-Dexter DeShawn. Jackie Welles. T-bug. Multiple bells ringin’, V. Left a lot of bodies behind, death walks in your wake. Chalk that up to bad luck?”

You clenched your jaw, maybe you should have listened to that girl that walked out earlier.

“Theeere’s the bitch I know…Ask her about ‘Saka Tower. How they shot me up right in front of her.” Johnny said as he pointed a finger gun towards himself. Well you know what they say, when they go low - I go lower.

You took a step closer as you spoke,”Wanna go through obits? Really? Fine. Johnny Silverhand. Zeroed inside Arasaka Tower, before your very eyes.” You nodded at her, “Got more, if you want. Or we could just talk.” You said with a shrug of your shoulders. Johnny seemed to straighten up a bit as he heard his name, studying Rouge for a reaction.

“Got balls on you, girl. Don’t like that on everybody, but they seem to suit you.” She said with a shake of her head, “Anyways…feelings be damned, I’ve always said. This is pure biz. You need my help, so get those eddies ready.”

After a beat of silence you transferred the eddies, “Should be enough.”

“Mhm. Come back tomorrow, we’ll talk.”

-

Fuck Rouge, actually fuck Johnny in the first place for telling you to even speak to her in the first place. You were currently in fuck-knows-where Badlands with your newest companion, Panam. Who knew that it got this cold at night in the desert, you guys just finished jacking Panam’s car from some scums that jacked it from her. Lots of jackin.

Funny enough Rouge gave you the contact information to the girl that had cursed her out yesterday. Chick seemed stubborn as all hell but Rouge reassured you that she’d play nice if you helped her first, scratch my back I’ll scratch yours type thing. But she seemed to be asking for an extra favor by trying to convince you to get revenge against these people, you wanted to tell her no - get everything over with, but somehow she got you on board.

“Fuck Panam!” You yelled out as she didn’t bother slowing down the tunnel you guys were currently going down on, making your body jump against every bump hit. She ignored your complaints, seemingly going faster if that was possible and quickly swerving. She got out of the car and immediately started shooting, “What, asshole? Did you really think I’d let it slide?” She yelled over the sound of gunfire. Yup, fucking crazy.

You quickly ran towards the closest person and started slicing, you on the offensive as you got close and personal while Panam stayed on the defense, shooting from afar. You guys whittled down the men until it was just the two of you standing, the smell of gunpowder and must reeked down here, you were looting whatever you could find off the bodies when you heard Panam behind you.

“Hello Rouge.”

Panam really doesn’t let shit go huh, you didn’t want to be part of that conversation so you fucked off deeper into the cave where there was some buildings. You heard a string of curses a while later, your cue to go back towards the fuming woman. Awkward.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” You weren’t the best at being there for people when emotions were high, deciding on just ignoring stuff like that all together. Seemed to suit Panam just fine as she walked back towards the car silently, she didn’t seem the type to want to be coddled anyways.

She seemed to be on another call once you got in, guess she would be completing her own gig after all. You both arrived at the meeting point, Panam talked to them as you waited by the car, gun in hand in case of anything. Things seem to go your way for once as the meet went without a hitch, to celebrate a gig well done (and a new friendship) you both drank at the motel’s bar. After a couple drinks and swap of stories you both decided to call it in for the night, Panam told you she had a plan for Hellman so that made you breath easy.

As you laid down in bed you looked up at the stained ceiling in thought, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a bitter taste in your mouth still from when Rouge mentioned Jackie’s death last night. What if she was right, it’s not a coincidence that those around you died, maybe you were to blame for his death. You gripped your necklace tightly, trying to anchor yourself before you started to spiral.

“Hey.”

You sat up in surprise as you made eye contact with Johnny, you usually heard him when he would appear but he caught you off guard this time. Your hand was still tight around the bullet charm, “Hey.” You said after a beat of silence.

“I saw you, dancing.” He lit up a cigarette, you eyed his familiar cigarette he held in his hand. “Saw your memories, you and that big guy were dancing in some shitbox of a club with music that made your ears bleed.” He said with a grimace.

You remembered that, you actually dreamt about that recently, both of you had gone to a club to celebrate a high paying gig. You also remember getting the shit beat out of you, some guys had picked a fight with you on the dancefloor, causing you two to get kicked out. Mama Welles had also given you guys a slap on the arm when you walked into the house, not before serving you a hot plate of pozole. Fuck, that sounded really good, your stomach grumbled as all you’ve had today was beers, and maybe a pound fi sand. You hated the desert.

You let yourself smile at the memory, Jackie had been more pissed about getting kicked out rather than getting used as a punch bag. “You dance?” You asked curiously, you haven’t had the pleasure of getting any of Johnny’s memories (other than the ones you first lived through when he first appeared in your head, you still felt nauseous at the thought of feeling his death first hand).

“Nah, don’t dance. More into performing myself.” He said as he looked away, sometimes you forget that he was an actual performer and not just a terrorist or a voice in your head.

“How’s that, performing I mean.” You had finally let your grip on your necklace fall as you started to lean back towards the bed, making yourself comfortable.

“Mmm. It’s like having sex, it’s hot and sweaty and my names getting yelled constantly.” He said with a smirk.

“You’re a fucking gonk.” You groaned in annoyance but there was a small smile on your lips. After a beat of silence you spoke up again, “You think we’ll be able to find Hellman?” You turned your head towards him, he was already looking at you when you turned.

“Well that chick Panam seems to have her balls in check, gets shit done, so I think so yeah.” Finally he seemed to reach the end of his cigarette and threw it down on the floor to stomp on it. You nodded and turned your body to face the other way, your back to Johnny, you willed yourself to go to sleep even though you didn’t feel tired. “Goodnight Johnny.” you spoke out loud as you closed your eyes.

“G’night V.”

Johnny looked at your sleeping body, watching you breath in and out peacefully, fuck you were a handful. Who knew this little merc would have crazy PTSD about her dead choom, Johnny knew death among friends but you seemed to deal with it in a horrible way. It kind of reminded him of himself when he first served in the corp wars, just a kid in the middle of a shitty situation No matter, each day with V got easier, she wasn’t as dumb as she looked and was able to hold her own ina fight, he found her impressive at times. Although, he needed to distract you from your own mental state if he wanted to get a cure from the chip fast, couldn’t waste his time with shaky tears. “Fuckin’ kid” he muttered as he disappeared back into your headspace.

-

You awoke a little past midnight, reading a text from Panam saying to meet her in the garage. Slowly, you stretched your body out, bed wasn’t the comfiest thing but you’ve slept in worse. You met up with Panam in the garage, she had given you a run down about her plan, something about jacking a power station to fuck with the AV that held Hellman.

Panam drove towards some rubble, convincing you to grow accustomed to it in case you needed to use it, you two swapped stories as she drove. She had you connect via peronsal link, you waited in silence as she ran some quick diagnostics. You were really starting to like the woman, she was quite easy to talk to despite being hot-headed, and Johnny seemed keen on her as well.

Error 205: Incompatibility Risk

“Shit. It keeps giving me an error. Odd. Let me work around it.” Panam said as she furrowed her brows and started tapping on the cars screen.

“And now, Panam, here’s Johnny! Out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. Great work, V.”

Aaaaand there he was, he leaned over from the backseat as he made himself comfortable, all smiles as he spoke. Fucking gonk.

“Hey, uh, I think your implant has a virus. The one in the nape of your neck.” She said warily, pointing at her own neck.

You felt yourself get nervous as you just blurted out whatever smart thing could come out of your mouth, reassuring her that nothing would happen to her car. She seemed to hesitate a bit but moved past it, you did some target practice as you took control of the turret, it was pretty tanky. Panam started driving towards a spot near the power station, ‘get a good view of it’ she said as you guys could revise the plan last minute.

“Sabotage a corpo power station, jump a corpo transport, kidnap a corpo suit.”

You had honestly forgotten that Johnny was still in the backseat, you stared at him through the rear view mirror.

“This a plug for the word corpo or do you have a point?”

“Know what? You’re starting to remind me of me…fifty years back. Minus the charisma…and impressive cock.” He said with his signature smirk. “Mm. Maybe we CAN just get along.” Does this guy ever get tired of stroking his ego.

“Could be something to that, I suppose. What happened to us, it must’ve had some effect.” You looked out the window as you spoke in your head. “You’re more like me than you think. You’ll see.” He pointed a finger towards you, if you didn’t know any better it would’ve sounded like a threat.

You turned back as you shot him a quick look before looking forward again, didn’t want to freak Panam out, “But it goes both ways. Maybe you’re becoming more like me.”

“Nah, no way.” Crossing his arms over his chest, he acted like a fucking child at times. It was both amusing and annoying, Panam brought you back to reality as she parked the car. You guys went over the plan, go in, overload the systems, get out, seemed easy enough. Now it turned into a waiting game, you and Panam kept talking, in between moments of silence you and Johnny bickered, you had also managed to take a nap before being shaken by the nomad. It was early morning, the sky was still dark as the sun barely started peeking out, “Time to roll.”

-

Overloading the systems was a bitch, each time you went up to a terminal the pain would get worse, at one point kneeling down as your vision went static and pain shot throughout your body. Once Panam was satisfied with your work you both quickly got into her car, her quickly backing out while you catched your breath in the passenger seat.

“V! Get the fuck out before something happens to the chip!” Johnny rasped from the backseat, suddenly appearing.

“Thanks for the tip. Y’know, I was just about to set up a picnic, maybe lay out, work on my base tan.” You said sarcastically as you glanced back at him, holding a hand up to your chest as you monitored your breathing.

“I mean it. Watch out, the next one migh-“ Johnny cut off as he started wildly glitching out before disappearing, you quickly whipped your head back, not really caring if Panam got weirded out by it.

What the fuck just happened? You felt your heart start to race as you panicked.

“Johnny? Johnny?!” You called out anxiously, eyes searching for any sign of the rocker.

The familiar noise the engram made when he came back made you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. Jesus fuck, you were really scared for him, you hadn’t heard him sound like that before. He held onto Panams seat as he breathed harshly through his nose, yanking off his glasses and throwing himself back on his seat momentarily before going back to his original position and putting on the glasses to mask whatever dread he felt. You weren’t sure if it was his or yours to be honest, but it was making itself apparent between the two.

“OK. I’m fine. It’s…it’s OK, I’m fine…Yeah…Just - DELTA THE FUCK OUT.”

-

Everything was going to shit again, a lot of Panam’s clan laid dead because of you. Rouge was fucking right, death follows you everywhere, Panam had also gotten hit in the process but still was well and alive. You had tracked down Hellman successfully but at what cost? Panam nor Saul, her clan leader, blamed you - if anything they thanked you for helping them but you couldn’t understand why. The whole clan had come to lend you a hand, it would’ve make you happy if you didn’t have innocent blood on your hands. You forced yourself, willed yourself, fucking begged yourself to ignore all the dead bodies in your wake as you carried Hellman towards your motel room.

-

“Hey.” You called out, slapping the corpo roughly. You sat down in front of him as you stared him down, he looked around nervously as he spoke, “Where am I? What is this place?”

You held your gun out just in case, ignoring his question “Wanna talk about your little invention. Biochip you made for Arasaka.” He relaxed a bit as he heard you, leaning forward he spoke, “Fine. But let’s get one thing straight first. Yorinobu Arasaka didn’t send you?”

“No.” V narrows eyes

“This means you must have an offer for me. If your boss will pay more than Kang Tao, I believe we can talk.”

This fucking guy, you couldn’t believe that he’d think you’d offer him money after shooting down his AV and knocking him out cold. Were all corpos this fucking dense?

“You misunderstand me. There is no offer.” You said with a frown.

“What do you want?” Yup, this guy is just dense.

“Got Silverhand’s construct in my head. It’s literally driving me crazy, and I know it’s only gonna get worse. That is, unless I remove it.” He looked puzzled “And that, none of that’s on the billboards I saw. Not even in the fine print.” Johnny appeared before you, taking a seat behind Hellman.

“Silverhand? Construct…? That’s impossible! Where did you get this biochip?” He pressed. You debated lying, quickly deciding that was dumb, not like he could go back to Arasaka, chip in hand and begging for forgiveness.

“Klepped it off Yorinobu Arasaka. Job for a client, but the client left me out to dry.” He looked baffled at your words.” And you decided the best place for it was in your own goddamn head?” He asked as he scrutinized you.

“Actually, wasn’t a bad idea. Construct rebooted me when my own goddamn head took a bullet.” You held the gun against your head to hammer down your point, Hellman seemed uncomfortable by your action.

“I always knew Yorinobus plan would fail. I just never imagined it would turn out like this. Arasakas prize tech really is in the very streets of the city.” He shook his head in disapproval.

“You have to remove the biochip from my system.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Look, you made the thing, didn’t you? So what’s the problem?” You snapped, patience wearing thin. The one fucking man that could’ve potentially solve your problems and here he was, telling you to your face that ‘it’s not that simple’. What fucking bullshit.

“If you’re telling the truth, you slotted in a new, experimental version of the biochip.”

You looked around incredously, “How’s the prototype version different? It’s got a different engram? Something more…” you trailed off as you waved your gun around in thought, trying to find an accurate word to use.

“Aware?” Johnny chimed.

“Aggressive?” You said, desperate for something.

“The biochip is what’s unique, not Silverhands engram. The previous version of the chip was only used to communicate with pre-saved engrams.” You quickly cut him off, “And it was rare as fuck and cost a fortune, yeah.”

“This one’s rarer. Meant to install and activate the engram in a new body. When I left Arasaka, the project was still in the trial phase.”

You were over this, you were getting nowhere with this guy, “Yeah, yeah, great, your tech works. Now get it out of me.”

“I would have to see it first.”

A beat of silence, you nodded, “Ok.”

Not like you had an option, if this guy made the chip itself he was your best bet to salvation. Plus you don’t think he could do anything to hurt you or the chip itself, choosing to trust him.

You leaned towards the man as he jacked his internal link in you, looking at the chip in awe. Johnny circled the corpo, he leaned towards him and motioned with his glasses as he spoke, “Can’t believe this suit’s the one who’s gonna help us.”

“Hmm…Unbelievable. It looks like…Oh fuck.” He said shakily, disconnecting from you. You felt your heart drop at his tone, you knew what was going to happen next, the barer of bad news.

“What? What is it?” You said as you studied his face, hoping he was somehow just psyching you out. He shook his head, not looking at you, “What a pity I won’t be able to examine it fully.”

“Yeah, real shame, you coulda been his guinea pig, too.” Johnny spat, tired of the useless man in front of him and throwing himself on the bed.

You looked back to Hellman, furrowing your brows again, “Tell me how to get rid of it.”

“I’m afraid I have bad news. Your neural network has completely deteriorated. It can no longer function independently of the chip.” He said with a sigh, looking almost bad for you, “The only thing I could do-“

Johnny yelled out from where he laid on the bed, ”Woo-hoo! It’s bargaining time!” You ignored him as you listened intently as to what the corpo said to you, not once breaking eye contact with him.

“-is to give you information on a good clinic in Sweden. They’ll help you through the terminal stages, minimize the pain.”

You were growing desperate, this truly couldn’t be the end right?

“What exactly is going on in my head?” You asked shakily.

“You tell me. What’s it like to have two personalities? Because it’s not like you’re hearing voices. You’re both yourself and Silverhand, simultaneously.”

It didn’t feel like that at all, it felt like you were two different people, just sharing the same body. You were you and Johnny was, well Johnny. You hadn’t felt like you’ve shared the same body truly, yes you share memories and thoughts but you could still differentiate what’s yours and his.

Fuck, you were lying to yourself. When Johnny had disappeared back with Panam you were fucking terrified, you both were. Or maybe it was just you, there’s no way you both simultaneously felt the same fear. That just meant that the relic was quickly doing its job, erasing and replacing you with Johnny.

“I can see him and talk to him.” You said weakly, Hellman simply shook his head at your words as he spoke. “You’re not ‘talking’, but yes, I understand what you mean.” You noticed in the background Johnny lighting up a cigarette, fuck, you would kill for a cigarette right now.

“Have you noticed the construct’s influence on your decision making?” Hellman questioned.

Johnny seemed annoyed at the question as he walked atop the beds, disappearing to god knows where. “Sheesh. Give it a rest?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, cocking your head. Johnny reappeared next to Hellman.

“You will start doing things that were once unthinkable, at least to your old self. And you know exactly who he was. A fanatic. A terrorist. A suicide bomber.”Johnny started pacing as he listened to Hellman, “Well fuck me, who’s trying to mess with your head now?” He spat.

“At least Johnny never whored himself out like you.” You scoffed at the corpo.

Your words came out faster before your head could catch up with what you had said. You felt yourself freak out internally, was that Johnny? No, no you were just defending a friend, you justified your anger as your own and not his.

“Are you defending him? Or is that Johnny speaking now? Oh let me guess - he already tried to take over your body? You know, just for a little while?” He jeered at you, well fuck me he got you there. You didn’t hesitate as you answered, “No.”

Johnny quickly turned to you and sent you a small smile, “Would you, though? Could be fun…” You groaned internally as you sent the engram a pleading look, “Johnny…” He immediately sensed your frustration, reeling back his words, “Kidding. But watch out - suit’s getting ready to talk your head off.”

You held your hands up in defeat, “Know what? That’s enough. You just playing for time? Because I can’t tell - are you trying to convince me you’re useless?” You ran a hand through your hair, “I mean, in that case, I can just shoot you in the head and save us both some time.” You cocked your gun threateningly.

“Ugh finally.” Johnny said, just as ready as you to be done with this whole thing.

“I will try to help you - if you come with me to Kang Tao.”

This was going nowhere.

“Forget Kang Tao. Got any other ideas?”

“If you think there’s anyone else who can help you, I could give you the blueprints. Complete project documentation. Kang Tao offered quite the sum for it.”

You nodded at him and leaned forward, “You got it with you?”

“He’s got to. Gonk’s fucking useless without ‘em.” Johnny had a point there, those blueprints were essentially what made Hellman worth something. Suddenly the door opened, Hellman looked like he’d just seen a ghost by the way he set eyes on Takemura as he walked in.

“V.” The older man said in acknowledgment, Hellman looked between you and Takemura, fear setting in his eyes.

“Takemura? What the hell is he doing here?” Hellman whipped his head to you, searching for answers.

Johnny moved spots to the bed in the back as Takemura stood next to Hellman, god there was too much testosterone in this fucking room.

“He’s got a few questions of his own for you. You play nice, he might even save your ass.” You looked up at Takemura, “I’m almost done.”

“The blueprints.” You held a hand out expectantly. He grabbed a chip from his pocket and cautiously handed it off, you quickly inserted it in as you looked through it. None of it made much sense to you.

“Better than nothing. Long as we find someone fluent in technobabble.” Johnny said as he most likely was skimming through the blueprints himself.

“What’ll you do with him?” You questioned Takemura as you stopped looking over the chip. Takemura looked down at Hellman, “I haven’t decided yet.”

“Are you serious?” You asked dumbfoundedly, you needed to get the fuck out of here.

The older man simply shrugged, “You know me. I can be impulsive.” You accepted that answer, not like you really cared what happened to Hellman, you got what you needed.

You stood up from where you sat, “He’s all yours. I’ll give you two some space.”

As you walked out the room, you could hear the muffled voices of the two men, but there was also a ringing in your ear? What? Before you could realize what was happening you stumbled to the railing, immediately throwing up, there it was again, that stupid fucking message.

Relic Malfunction Detected

“See that? Fuck me, just look at that.” You hear Johnny say as you coughed up the vile taste that stayed in your mouth. You quickly push yourself off the railing and make your way down the stairs, only to fall on your face, dirt flying all around you. Pushing yourself up you looked to where Johnny sat and slowly made your way over, you could tell that Johnny had something in his mind by the way he couldn’t sit still.

“Sons of bitches.”

“Whatever you gotta say - say it. Got somethin’ eatin’ at your code, that’s clear.” You said in between heaves, these little relic attacks not getting any easier.

“Been tryin’ to learn how you’re wired this whole time. To know who I’m dealing with. Thought you were just unlucky at first. But then I kept watchin’ and finally realized what your problem is.” He crossed his arms as he looked you up and down.

“You’re a dirtgirl from Heywood who found the guts to walk a few extra blocks from home. But turned out the best you can do is chase scavs for ennies.”

You felt yourself tense up at his words.

“You’re a dick, y’know.”

“And you’re a cunt. Maybe we’ll fit together after all?”

You sighed, sitting next to him but making sure to leave space between you two, quickly letting go of your anger. You weren’t in the mood for a fight, between being in this shitty desert for the last couple days and talking to Hellman about your impending doom - you had been beyond exhausted.

“Sure seem to know a lot about my past.” You murmured as you mirrored how he sat, wrapping your arms around yourself, feeling a small chill down your body as the cold air nipped your skin.

“Well, seen flashes of your past, just like you’ve seen flashes of mine.”

You stayed silent for a moment, when you first heard that he could see your memories you were beyond pissed. You didn’t need a stranger to know your whole life, details you’ve spent hiding, memories you’ve buried, free for him to access whenever he wanted. The two of you have grown closer, becoming accepting of one another but not being best chooms, far from it really. You noticed Johnny liked to look at your memories with Jackie, he brought those up a lot and asked about it randomly, once asking you why you had a guitar at your place if you didn’t play. Jackie would leave his guitar to use whenever he’d come over, he once tried to teach you and you quickly gave up after 15 minutes, annoyance taking over as Jackie laughed his ass off.

“Honestly, I’m scared of the day I’ll start seeing your memories as my own.” You confessed, your eyes turning sad.

“Shit, if it’s a two way street, I’ll somehow have to live with the fact that I let DeShawn best me, fuck me over.”

You shook your head and looked towards him, “Can you just tell me what you want? What you really want?”

“Help me settle my score against Arasaka. That’s it.”

You liked Johnny, you really do, but he pissed you off. All he ever wanted to do was fight, he had such a violent nature, so much hate. You wondered how he grew up, the people he was surrounded by, you didn’t have the privilege of looking at his memories - only showing up to you at random really. The things you do know about him he’s shared cautiously, alway guarding himself when you two spoke about his life.

“As I see it, you don’t know what you really want, so you concocted a bogeyman to fight - Arasaka.”

“Heh. You’re funny.” He said with a sarcastic smile, you could tell it bothered him though by the way he looked away from you.

“Got a new life, you did, but you got exactly no idea what to do with it. Honestly, don’t differ a bit from these poor bastards handcuffed to the feeders in their megablock pads.” You refused to back down, even though you didn’t want to fight you refused to be the only one to be dissected.

Johnny turned to you, voice turning serious as he spoke,“Ok, I’ll tell ya why I wanna destroy Arasaka, but I’ll only tell ya once. Wanna hear it?” His demeanor seemed to change completely as he waited for you, it surprised you, you had been ready for him to yell and blurt out anything to piss you off but he was just there, looking at you - waiting expectantly.

“All right.”

“I saw corps strip farmers of water…and eventually of land. Saw them transform Night City into a machine fueled by people's crushed spirits, broken dreams and emptied pockets. Corps've long controlled our lives, taken lots... and now they're after our souls!”

“Might be right, can’t really argue with you there.”

He quickly interrupted you, standing up abruptly and pacing around.

“V, I've declared war not because capitalism's a thorn in my side or outta nostalgia for an America gone by. This war's a people's war against a system that's spiralled outta our control. It's a war against the fuckin' forces of entropy, understand?”

He leaned in close to your face, looking straight into your eyes as he spoke.

“Do whatever it takes to stop 'em, defeat 'em, gut 'em. If I gotta kill, I'll kill. If I need your body, I'll fuckin' take it!” He threw his hands up in frustration. “Fuckin' hell …”

“You still don't see it. But you will one day.” He looked back at you, making sure you understood every single word he said. You stood, words on your tongue when Johnny disappeared, leaving you alone under the cold desert sky.

[tomtortillasoup]

Marigold

Summary: You say goodbye to your best friend and help a new one along the way.

A/N: Originally wanted this chapter out on the 14th but I worked that day and then celebrated the day after whoops. Feel like this is still pretty much following the game but I promise (maybe) I’ll branch out from the missions starting next chapter :)

Word Count: 3,254

Chapter 2: Prófugos

Sharing a brain was new to you, to both of you. You could see glimpses of his memories as you dreamed, it was even weirder as it felt like they were yours. He seemed to enjoy talking to you, or at least making some kind of shitty comment while you ran gigs for whatever fixer had called you that day. The two of you were getting on some equal footing, though that didn’t mean you trusted him.

Johnny had admitted to you that he didn’t want you dead anymore, appearing once that ex corpo had left the diner, what was his name? Takemura? Even then, you still weren’t sure if you believed him, the morning after the first night with Johnny was filled with paranoia. You lived in fear that he’d come back, and come back he did but with a different attitude.

No matter, it doesn't change the fact that you were dying and desperately needed to look for Evelyn. You spent the last two days trying to come in contact with her until you remembered her BD editor friend, Judy. You pretty much barged into her workplace as you tried to convince her to tell you anything regarding Evelyn, you had been met with a cigarette case and a somewhat accusatory look. You finally had a lead but were once again met with disappointment when the doll was nowhere to be found in Clouds. The only good thing coming out of it was flatlining that fat fuck Woodamn, and another potential lead at a ripper’s. Johnny kept chastising you to meet with Rouge but you wanted to try other leads before having to ask for help from one of Johnny’s friends.

You wiped the small specks of blood that peppered your face as you walked out the building, you heard the now too familiar static and looked up to see Johnny.

“Got a real charm, this place. In that slimy, subterranean kinda way.”

Ignoring his comment, you made a beeline to the elevator

“Think Fingers’s got her? Think we’ll find her there?” You asked out loud to seemingly no one but the man in your head.

“V, if I could see that far I wouldn’t be a fucking ghost on a chip in a corpse’s head right now.”

You felt yourself tense up a bit, he’s right. Once that bullet hit your head you had died, you were meant to stay dead. But by some fucking curse you had crawled out of that trash pit, a little less like yourself when you did.

No it wasn’t just his comment that made you tense up, your whole body suddenly felt fatigued. You coughed loudly, covering your mouth with your hand.

Fuck.

Your palm laid covered in blood, you felt everything around you turn into noise.

“You had a plan, you tried, it fell flat.”

Johnny leaned against the elevator as he watched you. “Now you’re flat - don’t look in any condition to find Hellman.” He continued, a knowing look on his face. The elevator stopped as it got to the ground floor, temporarily distracting you from whatever snide comment you were ready to spit out.

“Ugh. Fuck!” You exclaimed as you stumbled slightly on your way out, barely catching yourself.

“Ugh, the hell’s that.” Whatever was affecting you seemed to affect Johnny at some lengths, or at least that’s what you thought as you heard him groan out.

Your breathing got heavy as you crawled over to anything, hands coming to contact on a bench. You planted yourself on it roughly as you held your head in your hands, pain slowly leaving. Vision was getting blurry with static all over, a message popped into your interface.

Chip Malfunction Detected.

“No, no, dammit!” he huffed as he started walking back and forth, stopping once to look at you.

You raised your gaze from the floor to look at him, why the fuck was he acting like that.

“Jesus…the fuck do you want from me?” you demanded, you were getting tired of him, not even a week has passed and you’ve become sick of him.

He slammed a chair in front of you and started running his hand over his face as he leaned over to you.

“It’s all going too slow. Gonna decomish before we learn how to rip the chip out.”

You narrowed your eyes at him with an accusatory glare.

“Wanted me dead, said so yourself.”

You couldn’t see his eyes behind those fucking aviators, it annoyed you. As if reading your mind, he took them off.

“Made it pretty clear since that I changed my mind. Want you to live now.” Johnny expressed in a much more relaxed tone.

You didn’t budge, wouldn’t let yourself be played by a known egotistical rocker boy.

“Asked you already…what the hell ya want from me.”

His gaze never once broke as he spoke to you, must’ve been more honest than you thought.

“I got a get-outta-jail free card. I’d be a fuckin’ fool not to take advantage.”

Johnny sparked a cigarette mid convo, turning away from you and taking a drag out of it. Even though you knew it wasn’t real you swore you could feel the smoke hit you, that freaked you out a bit. After the first night with Johnny it scared you that he could touch you, but since then he couldn’t hurt you and vice versa. You really didn’t understand how it worked most of the time but when you did try to touch him your hand would simply go through him. Still, the uncertainty of how the chip worked made you nervous, the scar on your forehead laid as a reminder.

“See, me and Arasaka, we got a half-century-old score needs settlin, and I plan to do it.” He said, still turned but looking at you, studying your expression.

“That’s what I need you for.”

Ah. There it is. He needed you alive for some shitty fucking revenge, and you were his scapegoat for it.

“Never been recruited into a terrorist cell before. Feel kinda honored, actually.” You said with a dry laugh, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Johnny looked at you intensely as he turned his body back towards you and leaned back again, you had to fucking trust him.

“Listen, I know things, where we can save your life, who can help us do that.” He said as he pointed his cigarette towards you to really nail his point. “You’ll get rid of the chip, I’ll smash ‘Saka - win-win, kid. Soulkiller’s what we need and Mikoshi’s how we grab it.”

You decide to humor him, all these word getting jumbled in your brain, not understanding half of what Johnny was saying.

“Ok, so, this Mikoshi - what is it, exactly.” You questioned, head tilted curiously.

He moved his hands as he spoke, “Ok basics. If you’re jacked in, cruisin’ the Net, Arasaka can use Soulkiller, an AI, to trap, fry, and pack away your psyche, your mind and your soul.” He looked at your blank stare, he couldn’t tell if you still didn’t understand him.

“Followin’ so far?”

You nodded, “Yeah, seen your memories - did a real number on ya.”

He seemed a bit annoyed at the fact that you’ve seen his memories but it was a two-way street, Johnny had access to your memories as well. You weren’t sure if he had seen them or not, if he did he hasn’t given you anything to let you know he did. Probably better that way, saves the embarrassment.

“Ok…Seems we got a few more things to broach than I thought, but that’ll come later.” He brushed off his annoyance pretty quickly as he went back to speaking seriously.

“Anyway, when Soulkiller fries, roasts and boils you, you die. But the contents of your mind get copied to an engram first.”

“Sure. That’s how you became a construct.” The way that Johnny described Soulkiller made you get a small pit in your stomach, he knows firsthand what it does and fuck did it sound agonizing.

“Exactly. Now, Mikoshi’s the place Soulkiller operates out of, where it stores it’s victims’ engrams.”

Okay now you were confused, how the fuck is this supposed to help you.

“Still don’t see how Mikoshi’s linked to my chip problem.” You told him as you furrowed your brows.

He looked at you incredulously, of course he had to be stuck with some snot nosed street kid. “Not the brightest bulb on stage, are ya? Fifty years back, ops on the human mind - Mikoshi was the sole place on Earth where they did anything like that.” He throws down his cigarette and stomps it out, “Bet it still is today. Tellin’ ya, all roads lead there. It’s where we’ll settle our biz - you yours, me mine.”

You nodded, finally understanding, “And, uh, how do you plan to smash Arasaka this time? Got another nuke tucked away?”

“This time bomb’s named Alt Cunningham.”

You felt a distinct something near your heart, but it was gone as soon as it came.

“I’m s’posed to know who that is?” You asked as you shook your head waiting for an explanation. He seemingly ignored you, putting his glasses back on.

“Not yet. But you will once we find what we need.”

Typical. You sighed as you heard his words, seemed like you’d be in the dark for a bit until it seemed convenient for him. Finally the annoying buzz around you had faded while in conversation, you felt better than you did moments ago. You stand up and suddenly feel Johnny hold on to your shoulder, you feel yourself tense up at the contact. It seemed that he felt your discomfort and slowly let his hand fall as he spoke, “For now, we got no time to lose, need to get inside Mikoshi.”

-

Shortly after your talk with the voice in your head you had phoned Judy, telling her your findings and to meet you at the ripperdocs clinic. The trip to the clinic was somehow even worse than Clouds, even as you beat the man senselessly you were met with more clues and no straightforward answers. You were beginning to feel like this was all just some wild goose chase with no end in sight, it seemed that Judy felt the same way.

You talked some sense into her, even if you didn’t fully believe it yourself, and were able to get a XBD scroll from some guy off Jig-Jig street. Though it didn’t seem like much you felt the mystery start to unravel as you figured out what people took Evelyn. Death’s Head Moth, Charter Hill, and suddenly Judy’s hitting 80 on the streets.

-

There she was, bloodied and battered, hunched over in the floor. The things you saw in the building made you sick, all the mutilated bodies, the blood on the mattress, her lack of clothes. You carefully cradle her head as you waited for Judy’s signal.

-

The rain was loud, you waited outside Judy’s building, deciding to giver her and Evelyn some space. You studied the cigarette case you held as you waited, the noise of rain filling your ears.

“Come on. Is it really that hard?”

You ignored Johnny’s voice as you started fidgeting with the case.

“Please, just one. For me.” He pleaded.

You grabbed a cigarette out of the holder and slammed the case shut, turning towards him. “Fine, have it your way. Smoke to your lungs’ content.” you said in annoyance as you put the cigarette to your lips, lighting it up. You don’t smoke, ever, yet the feeling of it felt oddly familiar to you. As if it was something you’ve done millions times before without a second thought even though this was your first time.

He sighed satisfactorily as he spoke, “Finally, something better than exhaust and the stench of the city. Don’t tell me you don’t feel it, too.” You chose to look away, the smoke blooming peacefully in your body, making itself at home. Johnny straightened up a bit, “We goin’ in?”

You thought for a moment, “Let’s give ‘em a couple. You saw how she looked.” You said hesitantly.

“If it was up to me, I would’ve splashed some water on her face back at the studio and asked her straight up.”

“It’s not up to you, though, is it? Let’s go.” You told him angrily as you made your way inside the building. Johnny lacked all fucking kind of human empathy, it upset you a lot the times on how he would comment on your actions.

You talked to Judy for a bit, even though she advised you that talking to Evelyn wouldn’t work you still had to try. You saw her curled up in bed, you weren’t sure if she was sleeping or not, suddenly feeling very wrong about this whole situation.

As if on clockwork, Johnny appeared, “I’ll be the first to admit, this does not look good.” he muttered.

Hell if even Johnny thought it was bad then you knew it really was, still you were here for a reason. You sat close to her, trying your best not to disturb her.

“Listen, Evelyn. I really need your help. It’s important.” You spoke softly, “ If I don’t do anything, and do it soon, I’ll die.”

Silence.

“You’re right, this is a complete waste of time.”

You looked up at Johnny as he spoke, then back to Evelyn. You cautiously reach a hand towards her, landing on her hip. She shook your hand off and that was that.

“Well now, look at you.”

You ignored his comment as you walked out and met up with Judy again, she had talked about a BD she found. You quickly put your wreath on as the BD started, truth about what Evelyn had done. And then there was the phone call, Johnny’s name had been mentioned, so was Alt’s. Judy had questioned the whole situation and decided to tell the truth, whether she believed you or not you weren’t sure, still she gave you a moment to yourself.

Johnny leaned over the window, cigarette in hand, you studied him for a moment before speaking, “These people - what could they want from Alt?” You questioned as you walked closer to him.

“How the hell should I know?!” he lashed out, refusing to look at you.

You leaned against the wall next to him, crossing your hands over your chest, “Got no notion whatsoever?”

“One way or another, everything leads back to that netrunner. Finding her’s our biggest priority.” He said, finally looking over to you. “If she knows as much as I think she knows about the chip, she can help us out.”

“Thought you said nothing could help us?”

“Fuck, just find us that juju wirehead, ok?” He scowled as he took a drag of his cigarette before disappearing.

You ran a hand through your hair, you were even more stressed out than before. You’re a step closer than you originally were yet couldn’t help but feel that you’ve stepped in a bigger mess.

You said your goodbyes to Judy, asking her to update you on Evelyn whenever she could. Once you were outside the building you had forgotten that it was raining, “Fuckin’ hell.” You muttered as you held a hand out to the rain. Your car was still getting fixed, got totally wrecked when that rouge Delamain hit you. You still remember your surprise about it and Johnny’s snide comment, well looks like you were walking.

-

You were waiting for the trolley to get to the station you were currently at, the lack of vehicle really fucking sucked, what is normally a five minute drive turning into a 20 minute drive on public transport. You had just gotten off the phone with Mama Welles, she was ready to tear you a new one for ignoring her if it wasn't for the fact that she was inviting you to Jackie’s ofrenda.

You weren’t ready for this.

You weren’t ready to say your final goodbyes to your best friend, your brother. Fuck, you were barely even processing his death, you hadn’t let yourself think about it. Seeing the state Evelyn was in when you found her reminded you too much of you final memory of Jackie, it fucking scared you. At least she was alive, even if she wasn’t completely there yet.

Not soon after the trolley had arrived, you made your way inside and sat down in a private corner. The whole ride was silent for you, there was the usual noise and chatter of people but you tuned it all out. Thoughts of Jackie filled your mind, you had hated Night City, that was the reason you had left for Atlanta but you were met with disappointment once there. So coming back was hard, but Jackie, Jackie made it easy. He made everything easy, he and his family loving you as one of their own, his friends becoming yours, accepting you no matter what.

All that, just for him to bleed out in front of you.

The service went fast, you had run into Misty as you looked for something to put in the ofrenda. You also convinced her to go to the event, she deserved to say goodbye to him more than anyone else. Many of Jackie’s close friends had shown up, and you got to say your final goodbye to him. You read a passage from his favorite book and let it lay there, throwing down a shot to the fire for your fallen friend. You forced yourself to mingle for a bit, cracking down on Mama Welles after a snide comment about Misty. She caught you before leaving, gifting you Jackie’s bike, you were forever grateful for her as you gave her a hug and kiss on her cheek, whispering a thank you.

You went out through the back alley and there it was, Jackie’s bike with an unwanted guest in tow. You weren’t in the mood to listen to Johnny, he couldn’t have caught you at a worse time honestly. You were sad, you wanted to cry but crying wouldn’t do anything, and the last thing you wanted was to cry in front of Johnny. You quickly had your sadness turn into anger, getting ready to hear whatever shitty comment he had saved. He was smoking as always, not looking at you as he spoke.

“Your choom had good taste.”

You blinked away the anger you held as it was replaced with confusion.

“What?” You said questioningly, cocking your head.

Now it was Johnnys turn to look annoyed, “You deaf or something, fucking-a V. I said your choom has good taste.” He said as he nodded towards the bike.

You felt whatever anger you had left in you dissipate, his words had caught you off guard but seemed genuine enough. Funny enough if Jackie was here he’d be freaking out if he heard THE Johnny Silverhand had complimented his ride. He was a Samurai fanboy through and through, always blasting their music on the radio. You wouldn’t admit to anyone, much less Johnny, but you knew many of their songs by heart due to Jackie. You let a small smile slip on as you thought back to the times when you’d both be screaming out singing as you drove.

You nodded back at Johnny, smile still on your face as you got on the bike, “Thanks.”

Johnny simply disappeared as you revved the engine, making your way out the alley and into the street, heart feeling a bit lighter.

[tomtortillasoup]

Marigold

Summary: Rough beginnings with Johnny as you meet for the first time.

A/N: My first fic ever!! I’m still debating if I’m going to make this into 8 or 10 chapters but I already have a rough outline so far if enough people are interested :) Please let me know if you guys enjoyed this as it would help me! It’s pretty short for a first chapter and most of the dialogue is ripped straight from the game…whoops. Also tried to incorporate the black dog as Johnny due to many folklore of depicting them as death.

Word Count: 1,293

Chapter 1: Black Dog (In My Head)

Darkness surrounded you, looking around the vast openness you felt something out there in the distance. No. You definitely saw something looking at you, piercing black eyes that merged with the nothingness around you. It kept circling you, primal growling drowning out your ears, your whole body tensed up, and suddenly there it was.

A black dog, so beautiful yet eerie. You felt a sense of calming fear as you had come face to face with the magnificent creature, slowly you started stumbling backwards. The fear overpowering the calm in you as it spread throughout your veins like a plague. It simply blinked at your actions as it observed you, you mimicked it’s action and suddenly the vast space between you and it, became nothing as it stood over you. Pushing you down with ease, it pinned you down as you screamed and thrashed. A haunting voice was heard from deep within the black dog that immediately silenced you.

“Gotta get out of here, understand.” the voice rumbled, baring its teeth at you.

“And I’ll kill anyone that gets in my way, you included.”

As quickly as it spoke, it sank its sharp teeth into your neck, puncturing the skin immediately. You felt warmth drip down your neck and down your body, you wanted to yell in pain but nothing came out, you were paralyzed. Your eyes rolled back into your skull as darkness consumed you yet again, saving you from your demise.

You heard it first, the static, you stirred from your slumber, your hand weakly going towards your neck. You were met with nothing other than sweat, nightmare had gotten you good this time.

“Need a smoke, where’d you stash yours.” a rough voice says, forming a thudding beat that went alongside the headache that you were now developing.

Slowly your eyes adjusted to your dark room, you sat up carefully, pain still evident in your body as you winced. You looked up towards the source of the noise, a man, tall and annoyed yet looking so familiar to you. Where have you seen this stranger? Your brain was drawing all blanks as he kept knocking his head back on the wall, the beat going along with the pulsating pain forming at your temple.

This wasn’t real, was it? You thought back to what Vik had told you back at his clinic, something about sharing memories with Johnny Silverhand. Jackie would sometimes talk about the man, telling you stories about the infamous stranger standing before you. You thought back to the flashes of memories that weren’t yours, where you looked like him, where you were him.

“Don’t smoke.” you said hoarsely, your voice felt like sandpaper it was disgustingly dry and made it hard to swallow your nerves. You studied the stranger, metal arm being your prime focus. It looked real, HE looked real to you if it wasn’t for the bright blue static surrounding him.

He stopped the banging as he finally looked over to you as you spoke, there was annoyance etched into his features. You didn’t have to look at the eyes hidden behind his aviators to know that he wasn’t satisfied with what you said, the situation he’d been presented to overall.

“The fuck kind of joytoy you supposed to be” he sneered, looking you up and down. You looked like death itself, being wrapped around in bloody bandages, you weren’t a sight to see.

“Fuckin ghost off” you say in anger as you stood up, planning to leave the room but not getting a single step in as the man pushed you down and raised a fist to you. He towered over you as you laid against the ground defenseless.

“Who you work for, start talking” the voice demanded, only now realizing that you had unknowingly mimicked his actions. You cursed under your breath as you glanced down at yourself and back up at him. He mirrored your cursing as he looked between you two, his confusion quickly turning into anger as he connected the dots.

“Fucking chip.” he seethed as he started reaching back towards where the chip was lodged, “Rip the thing out myself!” You felt fear as you copied his actions, not being able to stop whatever was happening.

“No wait!” you pleaded out as pain hit your body just as fast as your vision went black.

You opened your eyes slowly, small flashes of static hitting your sight as you forced yourself to stand up. You leaned your whole body weight towards the wall as you struggled to hold yourself up when you suddenly felt a rough grip on your hair.

“I’ll take control.” his voice said as he slammed your head against the window, the pain immediately searing into you as you cried out.

Thunk!

You tried your best to put some distance between you and the window as you held your arms out weakly, your head was spinning.

“I’ll find a way.”

Thunk!

You could see the blood splatter against your now cracked window, it was hard to breath.

“You hear me?!”

Thunk!

Darkness consumed you once again, after a few moments you push yourself up to sit on your bed, you were heaving and you felt warmth run down your temple and to your neck, reminiscent of earlier’s nightmare. You brought a shaky hand to your temple, you quickly reeled it back as you winced at the pain, sure enough your finger held blood. Something on the floor caught your attention as you stared at your hand, eyes zeroing on the bottle of omega blockers. You quickly reached down to grab the container, ready to put an end to this fucking nightmare.

“See you never, asshole.” you spat as you held the bottle.

He suddenly appeared before you, you couldn’t even comprehend how he did that when he suddenly shoved the heavy pills away from your hand. You heard the bottle rattle as the pills flew everywhere on the floor.

“Not like that.” the man spoke angrily, suddenly there was that familiar rough grip on your hair as he inches your face towards him.

“Stick some iron in your mouth and pull the fucking trigger.” he spat venomously at you.

You felt a harsh sting on your face, he had slapped you and it had felt real, too fucking real. You felt yourself hit the ground and stayed there momentarily as you heard him speak loudly to himself. As he ranted and started glitching around the room you slowly crawled to the nearest pill you could see. You didn’t understand half of the things that he was saying, your only focus being to get rid of the invader in your home. Your whole body was screaming in pain, yelling at you for not being able to rest, and the headache was becoming worse as it was focusing on the fresh wound on your head. How did everything get so fucked, everything had turned to shit as soon as you stepped into that fucking hotel, flashes of Jackie’s corpse invading your head as you forced yourself to keep crawling.

“Lead to the head the only thing that’ll fix this” he muttered out loud as he finally noticed you crawling.

“Hear me bitch?! A bullet to the fucking brain!” he yelled in your face as he kneeled towards your pathetic attempt to help yourself.

You ignore his speech as you push past him and successfully grabbed a pill and forced yourself to swallow it. You quickly laid on your back as the room began to spin again, the man towering over you in silence the last thing you saw before passing out. Finally you let yourself succumb to the darkness, feeling yourself become numb as you mumbled.

“Fuck me...”