toofatfor-ana-blog

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Me reblogging an “ask me” post that’s gonna get straight ignored like the last 20.

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Dainty Anas: Keep your room clean! Moisturize! Workout!

Me: Takes 5 hour depression naps, only remembers to wash face 50% of the time, literally never works out.

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someone: you need to stop doing this thing or it’s going to kill you!!!!

me, one whole suicidal: haha hell yeah my dude

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help.

I keep blowing off my friends because I just don’t want to leave my house.. or bed for that matter. I keep binge eating. Anxiety attacks that seem to have no triggers. Every time I have to go to work I have a breakdown before I get there and when I’m there I keep have dissociative episodes and the occasional paranoid episode when I think everyone in FUCKING BEST BUY is out to get me!?  Convinced that I have bpd but I don’t know how to tell anyone... I feel like I’m going goddamn crazy.

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Me watching other people reach there goal weight while I remain fat for the rest of my life

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actually feeling a positive emotion for longer than ten minutes?? sounds fake but okay

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my body feels like it’s rotting.

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me: hmm, they havn’t replied in a while, i wonder what’s up

my brain: they hate you and are cutting you out 

me: 

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I hate it when neurotypicals are like “get help,” assuming that once you receive one diagnosis and one medication, you’re “cured” and will stop causing problems. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t work like that. I still have symptoms of bpd, depression, anxiety, and psychosis even WITH meds and therapy, even though I’ve “gotten help.” It’s really not that simple, and we should be allowed to talk about our symptoms without neurotypicals assuming we haven’t “gotten help” yet.

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me: *having a decent day*

every one of my mental illnesses, ever:

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Me, after using every unhealthy coping mechanism I have ever had within the past 24 hours:

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Being a jealous partner not because you think your partner will cheat, but because you’re scared they will leave you for literally anyone because everyone is better than you.

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me @ me immediately after almost every decision: oh bitch what the fuck

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i just want to kill whatever it is that lives inside of me