tookinnocence

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Tell me that you’re more than a sick fascination…

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me thinkin abt how many fucking depressing christmas songs braxton has wrote and just 😬

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noel was braxton’s first almost love. i say almost because braxton is Not capable of real, genuine love until layla. he’s manipulative and gross and honestly his time with noel probably did not help when it comes to the rest of her life. they were not a perfect couple, not even close.

but he met noel when they were both fifteen, in 2005, and they dated for a year before her family moved away. they lost touch, briefly reconnected when her parents divorced and she moved back to seattle with her mother. the divorce was HORRIBLE on noel, extremely fucking brutal and the custody battle was... ruthless. 

two years after moving back seattle, her best friend passed away. whenever her and braxton would cross paths, she would just.. cry, barely acknowledge him, because looking at him reminded her of better times that she was never going to go back to. she struggled, from the age of fifteen to twenty five.

while her struggles were happening, braxton had started the social clibmers, begun dating sam. sam and jon left the band on august 28 2014, and braxton had started to move on with his life. while his life was getting (at least, in the public eye) better, noel’s was getting worse.

on christmas eve of 2015, her body was discovered in a sketchy motel; she had been there for a week, after taking too many sleeping pills. braxton saw it on the news. this, and sam&jon becoming an item and overtaking the social climbers in popularity, was the catalyst for braxton’s drug addiction.

BRAXTON DOES NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT NOEL. not until after he breaks up the social climbers, and julian begins helping with the percussion for his solo project; julian is the only person who finds out about noel, and that’s only because braxton wrote a song about her.

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Stuck in Love (2011)

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is this even a writing blog or somewhere i just come to scream

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braxton goes to bed on october 10th, 2016, alone, curled under the covers of his california king bed and wishes it wasn’t just him in it. he thinks of big doe eyes and dark makeup and tries to keep from thinking about his time with her.

braxton wakes up on october 11th, 2016, and starts his day like he usually does. he gets out of bed, he flips the television on, he makes his breakfast and his coffee. the news starts talking about a wedding ceremony that apparently happened the night before. about how the bassist and the frontman for the band reverse psychology had a very, very small wedding that only a few people attended, and the band made a post about it on their instagram after.

braxton zones out, and both his mug the plate of food he was carrying falls to the ground and shatters. there’s glass in his feet and coffee splattered against the tile.

braxton goes back to bed.

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also honestly god bless julian dude won’t let braxton get away with shit

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             RAZZ.MAT.AZZ : THE SOCIAL EXPERIMENT ALBUM.        PRESENTED BY BRAXTON HOWELL & JULIAN GORDON SAWYER-DEAN.                              an     in    depth     analysis    of    all    twelve    songs.

Keep reading

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muse aesthetics, tarot edition.   y’all probably know the drill by now.  bold what applies to your muse, italicize what sometimes or sort-of applies, strike through what’s antithetical to your muse.  repost, don’t reblog, and have fun!  tw: mentions of alcohol.

major arcana.  a long journey - a feeling of raw energy -  putting a name to something unknown - an elaborate patchwork  - unexpected catastrophes -  unexpected blessings  -  vivid dreams  -  sudden awakenings -  the feeling of shedding your skin  - the echoes in holy places  -  bright lights  -  deep shadows -   feeling the earth move beneath your feet  - wandering in museums - the strange clarity of moonlight -  thunder and lightning -  an unfamiliar road  - coming back to the place you started as an entirely different person

cups.  being overwhelmed by emotion -  finding something to celebrate every day  - finding something to mourn every day -  connecting with others  -  the scent of ocean air -  making food for your friends when they’re stressed  - the remembrance of something lost -  sublime confusion  -  cool colors -  a cozy cafe -  a bustling bar  - calm waters, hidden depths  - getting tipsy in the afternoon -  summer rain -  comfy sweaters  -  flowing skirts  -  a house by the sea  -  deep conversations after midnight

wands.  the scent of spices and dark wood  -  making something just for the sake of creation  - dry heat  - crackling fire -  a bolt of inspiration  - refusing to apologize for your passion  -  stubborn optimism  -  taking on more than you can handle  - hot tea - warm colors  - getting up early  - staying up late -  bright fire, fast burnout -  tacky thrift store finds worn with the utmost confidence  -  the thrill of starting a new project  -  spring storms  -  hotel rooms  - perpetual restlessness

pentacles.  the scent of rich soil after a rain -  hard and diligent work -  solid ground, strong foundations  -  the satisfaction of a long-awaited payoff -  generosity that comes with a catch -  work boots and heavy jeans -  silk and jewels  -  resting on your laurels  -  seeing your work through to the end -  harvest time  -  fresh bread and rich soup  -  earth tones - jewel tones  -  a lush garden - sunlight through the trees  -  dark chocolate  -  a home in the farmlands  -  a sprawling house in the old part of the city

swords.  the scent of fresh air -  focusing on the intellectual at the expense of the emotional -  freshly fallen snow  -  burying yourself in action - tending to your own wounds - a foreseeable disaster -  crisply tailored suits  -  starkly elegant dresses -  refusing to admit defeat -  cold air, clear thoughts  - old hurts - fresh starts -  overthinking your overthinking  -  the harsh glow of street lamps  -  black coffee  -  a cabin in the mountains  -  an apartment downtown  -  the quiet before the dawn

TAGGED  BY :   i literally stole it from myself TAGGING :    steal it from me or else

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dallon was right in front of me tonight im-

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i’m just having a powerthought rn don’t mind me

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braxton is a brainwashed yet spoiled brat who was definitely socially groomed by being a sort of young figure in hollywood due to his original sucessful solo career when he was in his teens and believed that everything he was doing was completely fine and justified well into adulthood and honestly sam and him breaking up is probably the best thing that could have happened to him IF ONLY BECAUSE he was able to get the reality check he needed; no the world does not revolve around him. in that same sort of train of thought him and sam reconciling and becoming friends again is the OTHER greatest thing that happened to him because he realized ONE he’s been socially conditioned throughout his life that the way he was being treated by his management and that what they’ve been doing to him since he was fucking thirteen is not normal or healthy and TWO he was able to own up to and acknowledge his own abusive and manipulative traits in this essay-

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Some photos from AP’s latest interview with iDKHOW

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braxton does two versions of ch.oke. the standard and the acoustic, after the social climbers break up; the standard version is just him on vocals, but the acoustic (his preferred version tbh) has sam, julian, and jon all of backing vocals, telling him to die, basically. it’s great.

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https://youtu.be/iXKyVOmDG8s

                okay first of all: hot.                 second of all: he looks like a proud dad.