toolatetrotsky-blog

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

He's angling.

"Fishing for Compliments", mondaypunday.com This is my new favorite thing.

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

Oh my god.

When digital tv info glitches are more accurate than the actual show info

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

We never understood the world less than we do now nor, as we understand it, liked it less.

Wallace Stevens

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

Power ceases in the instant of repose; it resides in the moment of transition from a past to a new states, in the shooting if the gulf, in the darting to an aim. This one fact the world hates; that the soul becomes.

 Ralph Waldo Emerson

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

The Cha Cha Slide is what caused the second wizarding war.

EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap AVADA KEDAVRA

imagine a muggle-born Hogwarts student during a Yule Ball enchanting various musical instruments so that they play the Macarena

and all the muggle-borns swarming to the centre of the Great Hall and baffling the entire room with their sychonronised dancing and AYYYY MACARENA *CLAP*

imagine

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

This is so so so so so so so worth the read. I spent most of my life as the weirdo, as the girl who was one of the guys. I had very few female friends growing up until about middle school or so (those friends I had before then, well, they're still some of my best friends). I was an athletic nerd - I loved the mind behind sports and playing was a means to an end. You can't be a coach at 12. And I got viciously picked on for that, and not just by my peers, but by coaches too. As a result, I wanted to be funny, because people like funny. I tended to the person turning to making an ass of myself to get laughs instead of working with my wit instead. But after a while, I got sick of it. That's when I realized there had to be something better. And there is. And I found it. And it changed my life. It changed how I think about supporting others. I don't care if you want to join the circus. Fuck it. Do it. Join the circus, learn to walk a tightrope, swallow fire, juggle knives. Because if that's where you feel most comfortable, if that's where you want to better yourself, you should. Don't just dedicate your life to your dreams, dedicate your life to help others find and reach theirs, too.

Overcome Your Programming And Be A Better Man

When I was a freshman in high school, I made a series of battle plans along with my older brother and his friends that detailed how we’d take out our entire school once we obtained guns and bombs.

This happened while huddled over my dining room table, and it was funny. We drew blueprints. We made maps. We organized lists of ammunition and inventory and all the different things we’d need to make our military raiding of our own school a success. We figured we’d all have cyanide pills to take ourselves out before we got arrested. We knew we had to take over the nurse’s office first – it’s where all the medical supplies were and it also had no windows, which made it a perfect place for our final showdown when we were inevitably backed in by police as we burned out in a blaze of glory in our bold last stand.

Read More

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

I just love that he probably rolled all up into the studio with facts and statistics and this woman is just like "LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME" and Bill Nye is just like "well if that's all it takes." Cable news is a joke, but I'm happy to see that Bill Nye is ready to take on all comers. Because if he reached even one person during this show, one person who decides to carpool or walk to work or ride a bike, then it was worth having to seriously look someone in the eyes and declare that one of the world's biggest issues is actually one of the world's biggest issues.. So climate change is #1, but education is #2.

Bill Nye the Science Guy schools CNN on climate change. 

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

Yo, have you met some of the boys in books? Holden Caulfield (naive and mopey); Hamlet (See: Holden Caulfield);  Odysseus (absent father); Oediups (momma's boy); Faust (Soul-less); Dorian Gray (See: Faust);  Harry Potter (danger-prone); Jay Gatsby (clingy); Peeta Mellark (See: Jay Gatsby); Tom Sawyer (commitment issues); Christian Grey (into some kinky shit); Humbert Humbert (into some pedophilia shit); Victor Frankenstein (into some necrophilia shit); Gregor Samsa (bugs you all the time) Edward Cullen (a fucking VAMPIRE); Jacob Black (a fucking WEREWOLF); Mr. Darcy (pretty much a total fuck-up and socially inept); and Sherlock Holmes (high-functioning sociopath).

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

So I should probably wait on that email I was going to send the Senator about supporting high-speed rail.

Democratic Senator Richard Blumenthal (CT) almost gets hit by a train during a press conference about transportation. GIF courtesy Mediaite.

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

How I Actually Left Work Today

Co-Worker: Are you really that concerned with beauty? Like, do you walk out your door and say "what an incredibly gorgeous hydrangea?"

Me: Well, I'm a poet, so if I don't roll around in the grass whispering lines of Whitman at least once a day I think I lose my ability to write.

Co-Worker: [Laughing] Wait, are you serious?

Me: [Opens door, walks outside, yells:] A CHILD SAID, WHAT IS THE GRASS? FETCHING IT TO ME WITH FULL HANDS; HOW COULD I ANSWER THE CHILD? I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS ANY MORE THAN HE.

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

I'm about this close to dropping everything for a road trip. The nicer it is outside, the more time I want to spend with my windows down blasting albums I love,

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

I just....I just can't.

Jesus Christ, Netflix.

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

WHOSE SHOULDERS ARE HE ON BECAUSE ALL I CAN PICTURE IS MARTIN FREEMAN GOING "please, no. no. no. no no. get off. get off. no."

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

"What are you looking for in an apartment?" oh, you know, the usual. I need a bathroom where the plug is close enough to the toilet so I can dry my hair while taking a dump, I need a living room roughly the size (but not necessarily the same shape) as a standard MMA octagon ring, I need enough windowless walls to set up a nauseating amount of bookshelves, and a kitchen made for someone who is under 4' 11". Oh, and it needs to be pet friendly. I have a capybara.

[toolatetrotsky-blog]

Well this just broke my heart. Thanks for the laughs, Harold.

We miss you, Egon. :_(  RIP Harold Ramis.