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mind you according to patti's insta post about creating peanut it's also his bday lol

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happy birthday to my favourite actual dilf and the person with maybe the most beautiful smile ever. love u hann <3

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diagnosed with crush on a dark haired man disease

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Jealous barista has been on my mind recently

delicious... thinking about you having like an irl reply guy at work who you've turned down countless times and actually have just fully stopped being nice to, and he drags a friend of his to matty's shop one saturday because "she's here all the time maybe i'll run into her. i wanna ask if she's free next saturday for a drink". now, matty overhears this while he's making dude's almond flat white and thinks it's weird as fuck anyway, and then he hears your name, and realises the reason he recognises that guy's ugly mug is from the comments on your instagram, and needless to say he's not happy. like, he's banging down the milk jugs, debating where he could find cyanide to slip into the guy's coffee (it's almond flavoured. he'd never know!), squeezing the muffin he was about to run upstairs with for you so hard it crumbles, just listening to this fucker talk about you and getting more annoyed by the second. and then... you appear on the stairs down from the flat upstairs, hair still wet from the shower, a shirt that's so clearly matty's tucked into your jeans, and immediately make a beeline behind the counter to press a kiss on your boyfriend's lips, accompanied by a "hi, baby. love you", and yeah ok that reduces his blood pressure a bit; unfortunately, it increases 0-100 in 2 seconds, when the fucker from work spots you and sidles over like "oh hiiiiiiiiiiii i had no idea you'd be here lol what a coincidence", but the way your face screws up in obvious disgust as you go "oh. hi craig" and then settles into a smirk as you snuggle into matty like "you met my other half, then, i assume?", which in turn has craig blanching and going "oh this is your... boyfriend?"... fucking brilliant. matty being matty, he can't stop himself being snarky and saying "yeah, he was just talking about you, babe. think he wanted to ask if you were free next saturday night, bless him", and you respond "well, no, we have dinner with your mum, my love" - the best bit for matty, though, is watching you turn to a mortified craig after that and saying "and even if i was free, craig, i truly would rather have my skin sanded off with an emery board than go out with YOU. jog on, yeah?" and THEN calling after him when he turns and runs towards the door with his friend like "you don't tip hospitality staff? wanker" and forcing him to drop a tenner in the tips jar lol. anyway. jealousy averted. and then you get railed on the sofa upstairs when matty goes on his break lmfao. and again once his shift finishes. and again after dinner. and again after - you know what you get the picture lol. fun! <3

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are we liveblogging glasto next week or

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new george pic has me 😵‍💫 i fancy that man so bad

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no scotland date on addison tour... why does she hate us :(

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16.06.25 // Matty in Manchester //

© celebmanchester

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15.06.25 // Matty with fans at SJP Newcastle at a Sam Fender concert //

© credits to owner

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what’s baristas opinion on coffee creamer and also oat milk ?

oat milk and other alt milks, he's fine with (his girlfriend would leave him otherwise), but he thinks that "whoever invented coffee creamer should be sent to the hague. what is the issue with milks and syrups!!" lmfao. tbf he does make cold cream/foam in the shop, but the bottles of coffee-mate? he's personally offended by them lmfao. such a drama queen! <3

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MATTYYYY *we all cry out in unison*

our lovely boy!!

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everyone stop what you're doing immediately and look at him. that's loml

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15.06.25 // Matty tonight at SJP ("St. James’ Park",Newcastle arena /stadium) ,he was with Tim //

© maejunkielol

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this man is gonna be the death of me. not only did he say yes he wants it but he showed up to my house with flowers for clemmy

oh bless him. babe i am so glad you have such a lovely partner now!! you so deserve it. love you and sweet clemmy girl <3

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why are none of the 1975 doing soccer aid U literally have a song called bagsy not in net. ross macdonald wot the fuck r u even up to get those football boots and that scotland top ON

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daycare sent clemmy home with a fathers day craft and given the circumstances surrounding her father. (i hate even calling him that. absolutely not a title he deserves) i am torn between keeping it or letting her give it to my boyfriend since he already treats her like shes his. but i am naturally overthinking it. i shouldnt be because he didnt even freak out when she started calling him daddy. but here i am debating if its a bad idea or not.

honestly in this instance i think you should ask him whether he wants the craft or not - from what you've said, he's really emotionally mature, so i think he'd respond well to you being truthful and saying "not sure if this is too soon or too much but clemmy made this at daycare and we were wondering if you'd like it. totally understand if you'd rather i kept it instead though" or something along those lines. i think he'd appreciate that, and i think it would be good for you and clem to know the boundaries on what he's comfortable with. if he takes it, that's lovely, and if not, you get a lovely artwork from your baby. a win either way <3