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toournextadventure · 2 days ago

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the blue

summary: tara has never let people in easily after the incident in woodsboro, well, till somebody starts to change the way she felt.

word count: 4.4k

a/n: inspired by 'the blue' by gracie abrams

apart from that, i'm so ready for wednesday s2!

warnings: implied parent issues, underage drinking

Tara never let people in easily.

After the incident in Woodsboro, there were countless visits to doctor Sam insisted her going on; don’t even get her started on the therapy sessions. Tara decided to keep her circle small, it was less likely for she’d get hurt, physically.

Mentally, sometimes. A lot of the time actually, Amber carved herself into Tara’s heart with each moment passing. Then decided to carve Tara herself.

Ironic.

Tara’s wounds were healed, yet, just like her scars that would stay, the feeling of doubt lingered every time she met someone knew. Even saying her order to a barista scared her.

She was stubborn, sure. But she was focused, hard-working, enough for her to pass her classes in the 90’s and avoid attention and boyfriends.

Until you walked in, with confidence that stayed humble, not showy.

Not loud.

The kind of look that would always be a little startled from the energy of others, but always loving them for it anyway. Your reputation was good, not in the popular kind way; the kind of way where everyone adored you.

And Tara? She hated it; watching as you clutch the books to your chest as you gave her teacher a sweet smile, swaying your feet up and down as you talk low enough for the teacher to hear.

She always grew up different. Yeah, maybe she liked the same things and same people and do the same stuff, but she never had friends–not like the others around her. She’d meet somebody, glue herself on from one interaction with them that made her believe in anything, then they’d leave, like everyone else in her family.

Maybe it was tradition? But with everyone else, nobody ever stayed, and it hurt to think about once somebody came along her trail.

Mrs. Jennings looked at you with an admiring look, the brunette could tell from the toothy smile she gave you. She let out an exhale, knowing that Mrs. Jennings was one of the most stoic people she knew, and the fact that the trace of that was gone by the time your presence was near?

Tara turns her music up higher.

And then had to turn it down once Mrs. Jennings called her last name, gesturing you to the empty desk next to Tara’s.

She watches how your eyes scan her face, her freckles, the bridge of her nose.

When she watches your eyes meet hers, she sees how your eyes crinkle into a smile.

You slip into the seat next to her, playing with your pencil as you turn to Tara after a moment of silence, “So, what’s your favorite film? Let me guess, you’re definitely a thriller type, horror, maybe. Or oh, definitely something actionish.”

She looks at you, her nose wrinkling. Her arms cross, closing off the barriers by the second. She loved being mean to people, but by looking at you, you were the kind of person that people couldn’t find anything to hate about. So she went with a, “Hi to you too?”

You give her an embarrassed look, moving your hair to the side as you take out your headphones. “Sorry, it’s a film class after all, isn’t it? I just want to know if you’re my crowd of people. I hope we’ve got a lot in common.”

“Based on the movies I like?” Tara says, trying to brush it off, and gives you a curious look in the end, “And well, am I?”

You shrug, watching as Mrs. Jennings elaborates on whatever she was on about. “I don’t like horror. I do like action movies though, and rom-coms. Oh! Have you ever watched 10 Things I hate About You?”

Tara puts down her pencil, “Rom-coms are just reminders that love like that is a superstition and completely absent in life.”

“So you did watch it?”

“What?”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“I’m not answering you now that you said that,” Tara says, trying to focus on the blank piece of paper in front of her.

“Well, if you change your mind, it’s Y/N. My name.”

She grumbles, scribbling random words on her notes. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. She’d forget it later, it was something she did so that she didn’t have to meet new people, it showed a lack of interest.

On her paper, she blows off the eraser dust off her desk, scribbling random words, then one on the corner of her paper.

Y/N

When Tara saw you sit in the seat beside her the next day once again, same joyful expression as you give her a small glance before sitting and tucking in your hair. You play with your keychain on one of the zippers of your backpack and zip it open, pulling out a DVD and handing it to her.

“The Babadook?”

You blow a raspberry, “No, you silly goose, it’s 10 Things I Hate About You, remember?”

Tara doesn’t take it, “I don’t like romance. Don’t be surprised if I don’t watch it or throw it out.”

“Doesn’t matter, as I always say, if you don’t watch romance, you don’t get romance.” You look back up at her and wrinkle your nose, “I actually never said that before, I just made it up just now.”

She stares at you, rolling her eyes, taking the stupid DVD from your hands. “I won’t remember, I don’t remember these kinds of things.”

“My name. What about that?”

She shrugs. “Maybe I don’t.”

Y/N.

By the second week, Tara grows used to your personality. You do have half of your classes together. You help her with her math and English assignments, never asking for anything back. And to Tara, it feels weird. She’s pushing you away, she’s learned what to do to prevent herself from getting hurt. But you keep coming.

It was a free period in your film class, and you decide to sit in the corner with her as the professor rolls a movie. You lie yourself down on the carpet that was probably dirty and look up at Tara, smiling. “I can finally think about what I should cook tonight.”

It peaks her interest as she glances at you, “You know how to cook?”

“Mhm, I started when I realized my brother needed more than just school lunch meals and lazed meals at night.”

“Your parents don’t know how to? Or, work late?”

“No, my mother is out of my life and my dad,” you pause for a moment, scratching your head before shaking what you were going to say out of it, “He just doesn’t have time.”

“Oh,” she looks at your hands, how you grip your knees a little more, how you looked a little more closed-off. “I learned how to cook too, after my father left.”

You turn to her, propping yourself up just a tiny bit, atmosphere lighter. “That makes me want to know you better,” you say after a while, you say, and for Tara, it makes her hope that you two have a lot in common.

The whole period, while everyone watched the movie, Tara learned a lot about you–too much that stuck with her. That you played the guitar, worked at a cafe, had a younger brother you cared for because nobody else in your family “had time”, and that you tried really hard in classes so you could give him the future he needed.

Tara’s stomach churned with a sickening feeling of empathy when you had told her that you volunteered a lot of the time because you wanted to be there and help others for the times your family didn’t.

And how quickly time had passed, because you two had talked about anything and everything.

“I feel like we share a brain,” you say, giving her one of the most genuine smiles she’s ever seen.

“I think we do.”

You and Tara have been texting each other almost every day. It used to be summaries for classes, yet it changed into summaries into why the other person was better.

At night, Tara would be in a deep slumber while you’d send her all of the songs that kept you up at night. She’s had her way with your music taste.

Tara watches the TV screen in front of her, she had slipped in a DVD and was staring in front of her.

“Hey, your eyes have a little green in them-”

“Earth to Tara!” Mindy screams at her, shutting off the TV, causing Tara to stare up at her, “What the fuck Mindy? I was watching that.”

“Did you hear a word I said?”

“Yes, you were talking about..” She awkwardly looks around. “Okay fine, I was distracted.”

The core four were with her, along with Anika, in a deep discussion about something.

“Sorry, I was watching something!” Tara argues, trying to fight the remote out of Mindy’s hand.

Sam, from across the living room, raises her eyebrow, “It’s 10 Things I Hate About You. Tar, you hate romance–let alone rom coms itself.”

Tara sighs, involuntarily rolling her eyes as she sinks into the sofa, “People can have a change of heart. And I’m watching it to prove a point that they are, fucking indeed, ridiculous.”

Her sister raises an eyebrow, giving her an unamused look, “You’re definitely losing. You look almost as immersed in this as when you watched The Babadook. Remind me again why you decided to watch this?” Sam asks, a subtle smirk playing on her lips. “If I remember clearly, this was somebody’s favorite movie? As in the girl you met not too long ago, and seem to be hung up on them for a loooooooonggg time.”

It had taken a few weeks to convince Sam to have you over, as long as she was there to check on you guys at night, if you were ever staying over.

“Oh, I see where this is going,” Mindy chimes in, suddenly putting on a lecture. “Tara’s watching it, taking notes, so that she can create even more conversation with this girl. Meaning a closer bond, or maybe you’d call it a relationship?” The curly hair snorts. “You’re just like my friend, she’s obsessed with this movie. Should I invite her over so the two of you have chemistry? I mean, hooking up in the bedroom or something.”

If it was anybody but you, Tara would’ve said no. “No, I’m not setting my eyes on any girl. Let alone your friends, should I be protecting myself by putting a safety hazard on your head?”

Tara looks at Anika, “Not you, sorry.”

“None taken.”

“Then invite your girl over! Women have no guts these days! If she’s interested, she’ll be here. If you get rejected, oh well, at least you have my friend to watch it.” Mindy says, her voice high. “Unless, I don’t know, you wanna get your mind off of her, that works too.”

“You’re thinking too far. It’s just a girl in most of my classes that happens to have many of the same interests as me.”

“I’m totally inviting her if your girl turns you down or not.”

Yet, you came into her life so randomly and possibly was everything she ever wanted.

When the week started and you came into her room for another yap session, Tara realized you were awfully quiet, like unusually quiet.

At first, when you walk near her, she smiles at you and jokes, “Did you happen to accidentally insult your teacher again?”

You give her a small, weak laugh. “No, not today. I should’ve, though,” you say, jokingly, then blink again.

Sitting on the bed, she looks down at you, concerned slightly lacing her voice. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

It’s quiet, before you notice her watching you carefully, trying to decipher you. Lying wouldn’t save you this time. Tara hasn’t known you for long, yet knows how you’re feeling–especially if you’re lying. You break, knowing it wasn’t worth denying it if she knew you like a book.

“It’s just my dad, started the day on a bad foot, took it out on us. Kind of ruined my morning,” you say, wiping your eyes, “Gosh, I’m crying over this stupid shit. He’s always like this, there’s always something I have to do better.”

Tara watches you, she knew how your dad could be from the certain days you came with a quieter presence, eyes lingering too long on your notebooks. His anger used to scare you so much that you felt you needed saving.

She stays quiet for a moment, before scooting closer to you, shoulders brushing against yours, “If it makes you feel any better, I once stole my friends ID to her dorm room to make chocolate chip cookies at 3AM. Put it in the oven, it said to set it to 350 degrees, I put 850 degrees! Burned the whole entire oven down and everyone in the dormitory had to evacuate the building. Completely sober, by the way.”

A small smile cracks on your face, a real one. “That sounds normal for Tara Carpenter,” you sniff, feeling the soft fabric beneath you.

She pauses, “I’ll tell you all my hard moments that ruined my days, even the most sensitive ones. Lately, talking about it makes it easier, but it’s not just talking about it to somebody, it’s talking about it with you. So don’t apologize for getting a little sniffly because I owe you one, and it tells you that you’re being vulnerable.”

You watch her with a slightly amused look as she goes on about her moments. Each one felt different, a stronger feeling, more flickers of vulnerability. And somehow, you made everything feel less terrible the second that you’d listen.

Tara didn’t know how you did it, numbed it.

A lot of people numbed it at first, so she couldn’t feel. It was temporary. But you? You numbed it, and then fixed it, healed it.

She began to admire things she never looked at when passing before, opening up with the things she never thought could heal.

Began to bump her knees into yours, saw the way the light from her window casted against your slightly red-rimmed eyes and pink freckled cheeks whenever she saw you.

The wind whistled softly as you sank into the bed, looking at the time that was already past midnight, 2AM. “Oh, holy shit, it’s late,” you whisper, rolling onto your side as the ceiling fan blows against your hair.

Tara makes room for you, scooting to the corner of her bed as pats the spot next to her. You scooch closer, arms touching as you play with each other's pinkies. “Who do you think will go to sleep first?” You ask, you had already stayed up with her for a couple of hours, and the caffeine you had in the morning was wearing off.

The Carpenter rolls her eyes, hands on her scarred stomach, “I’m tired as shit now that I think about it, I did not feel that earlier, so definitely me. But I’m definitely going to try and stay awake.”

I won't forget the feeling

Of staying up with you

It was silent for a few, comfortable moments, before you turned to her, deep irises looking at her in the dim room. It was that kind of look that people had when they were fully immersed in the person they were talking to.

“We should play paintball, soon,” you say, after a few moments, hugging the blanket closer to you. “You know, in 10 Things I Hate About You?”

Tara grins, yawning. “But I’m for sure kicking your ass by the end of that day that you’ll be shitting paint everywhere you go.” She jokes, after a moment, she rolls on her side to meet your eyes as well.

“Are you free this weekend? Saturday, I mean.” Tara asks suddenly, watching you wrinkle your nose. “My friend wanted to have a hang-out, a party, I think. A small one. Yeah. Maybe, we could bring some copies of movies, have a marathon?”

She watches as you think for a moment, a small, tired smile gracing your lips, until a thought hits you. “Damn it, I can’t,” you murmur, “I have something to do that day, a friend wanted me to hang out with her friends and already told her I was set on going.” You frown.

Tara brushes it off, “No worries, maybe another time.”

Except she would’ve loved to have brought you as a +1 for Mindy to see, show off your beauty, maybe.

You look at her intently, feeling kind of bad that you couldn’t go. Tara wouldn’t have asked you if she didn’t want you to go or if you weren’t someone that she trusted. You scroll on your phone and open Spotify, something you do every night as you shuffle your night playlist, scooting a tiny bit closer to Tara.

Your thumb hovers the song ‘The Blue,’ lately, you feel like it’s hitting a softer spot whenever it comes on. You click on it.

Tara speaks through it, lightly, “I’m surprised you didn’t shit your pants, you drank so much coffee today.”

“Oh trust me,” you say, tiredly, poking her stomach, “I did.”

You close your eyes for a moment, chest rising up and down as you let the comfortable, vulnerable feeling take over you.

“This was the song you sent me the other day, right?” She didn’t need to ask, because she already knew. “One of the songs that keep you awake.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, “How do you remember that?”

“Lucky guess. But you sent me way too many songs.”

I bet I could recite 'em all

I won't forget the feeling

“I’m pretty sure you stay awake because you’re texting me literally all the time at night,” Tara teased, “You’d send me random philosophies and memes you’d find.”

By the time she searched for a response, she found you next to her, fast asleep.

“I win,” she says softly.

The sound of laughter filled the house, people gathering to do flips in the pool, card games splattered all around, karaoke upstairs.

Mindy nudged Sam, margaritas in their hands, as they both watched her on the couch, while everybody else was socializing.

“Tara’s usually partying her ass off.”

“She’s sulking because her girl couldn’t make it.”

Mindy sighs, looking at Sam, “Well, Tara hasn’t really trusted anybody after Amber. Maybe this says something, Sam. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tara this happy over somebody, yet so secretive.”

“Well, that’s going to be a pain in my butt if she’s going to act all sad without her presence.”

Chad screams from another room as he wins his card game, “Bullshit! I knew it! I won!”

“Well, I did invite that one girl I talked about the other day. Maybe that’ll get her talking.”

Sam lays back in her chair, setting her glass on the counter, “Yeah, but good luck with that. If Tara is fixated on someone, she’s going to find an excuse to tell someone that they’re boring. You better warn your friend, she’s going to be told she’s too loud, or quiet, or not exciting enough, even if she’s a good person, if she isn’t whoever Tara’s thinking about, she isn’t good enough.”

Tara was supposed to be partying, she should have been slumped over on the floor by now reeking of alcohol.

But she looked slightly disappointed, killing her fun.

Then the door bell rang, Mindy shouting at Tara to get it while she made herself another drink. “It’s the friend I was talking to you about! Maybe she can distract you from whoever has corrupted your mind because she couldn’t make it. Can you get it? I’ll be there in a sec!”

Tara pushed herself off the couch, even if someone had the same interests or looks as you, it wasn’t you.

“I told you,” She groaned, “I don’t want to hook up with any of your stupid-”

Her hand reached up to unclasp the first lock, then pulled it open, smelling fresh air rather than the overwhelming stench of booze. She blinked for a moment, a platter of food being shoved into her face, “Oomph! Mindy! I brought..”

I never could’ve seen you coming

The board was lowered, your familiar face appearing behind it, then your eyes lit up. “Tara! What are you doing here?”

She looks at you for a long moment.

I think you’re everything I wanted

Then her annoyed expression suddenly became nonexistent, brown irises beaming. “Me? What are you doing here?”

Mindy notices in the distance, raising a suggestive eyebrow to Tara’s sister, she knew she proved her point.

She watches as the gears in your brain start to turn, as you register the moment, “This was the hang-out I was talking about you about on Monday.” You say, suddenly giggling at the coincidence, setting your platter down by the counter as she lets you in.

Before she could even respond, another very Mindy-y voice hollered your name, “Y/N, I was just about to call you!” She says, giving you a side hug, ignoring the side-eye Tara shoots at her. You meet her embrace, letting out a little grunt as she shoves a bottle of beer in your chest to mellow you down a bit.

“Meet Tara, the girl I was talking to you about, and Tara, meet Y/N, the-”

Mindy didn’t need to finish her sentence, already seeing the way Tara’s demeanor had shifted just as quickly. “You guys already fucking met? Oh for fucking sake! I thought I was going to play match maker so by the time Tara hooked up with you, I could’ve told her ‘I told you so’ that you were better than the girl she’s been day dreaming about.”

You pop the bottle open, it smelled sharp, strong.

Tara groans, her hands facepalming her forehead as she tries to wipe the flush on her cheeks, “Mindy.”

By that time, Sam’s already grinning, Chad and Anika emerging from the yard.

You raise a brow, “What girl?” You ask, already a third done with your bottle.

“Oh my god, Y/N. Has Tara not talked about this one girl non-stop to you? Remember I told you about her when inviting you here? Like, she’s been rewatching that movie you love for way too long. I’m pretty sure I saw a poster hung up in her room because of it.”

Mindy keeps rambling, “Like, I needed to invite you over at this point to distract her cause at this point, it was full-on obsession–oh!” Then it all clicks, and you stand there giving Tara a grin as Mindy starts cackling her ass off.

“Oh my god! No wonder why Tara changed so quickly when you got here. It’s you! You’re the girl I’ve been talking about! Well, I mean the girl Tara’s been talking about!”

Tara sends Mindy a warning glare, nose wrinkling as her sister and Chad join in. She leaves you alone for a moment, “Sorry, give me a moment, I’ll be back, just stay here,” Tara says softly, before her expression hardens as she pushes the group into a room. You look at her with a curious, and almost slightly worried expression, before she shuts the door gently.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” She hisses, eyes blazing as she sits on the bed with a thud, “Can you guys at least not embarrass her first thing when she comes in? And not to mention, you’re embarrassing me! It’s such a bad first impression.”

Sam’s hand runs through her hair, “She’s cute. And relax Tara, I’m sure she won’t mind her friend who’s currently obsessing over her, to introduce her to her other friends.”

Chad plops on the floor, “Yeah, have her hang out with us, Mindy already knows her. It won’t hurt to get to know her better.”

Tara stands up, “No! That’s exactly what we shouldn’t do!” She exclaims, throwing her hands into the air, “You guys always say something unhinged halfway through the party once you’re drunk off your asses, and I do not want to scare her.”

“Glad to know where we fall.”

“Tara, you know Y/N wouldn’t get embarrassed, I know her. You know her much better than me, and you know she won’t feel any different about you, if she does feel something, she’s like, one of the sweetest people I hang out with.”

Tara did know that you weren’t the kind to judge when it came to serious things.

“Still, can we hold it off till, I don’t know, I know how she’s feeling? It’s kind of sudden. I don’t wanna do something she’s not comfortable with, including meeting more people.”

Her sister’s eyes soften, before she nods and approaches Tara. “Okay. That doesn’t mean I won’t be checking in on you, though. Just let me know if anything happens. I don’t tend to open up to people often, but she seems like a keeper.”

Tara sighs, relenting. “Okay. Thank you.”

And as she opens the door, Mindy whispers, “Just make sure to let me know if she ends up in your bed-”

Sam elbows Mindy as her sister rolls her eyes and closes the door, searching for you. And when she doesn’t see you, she begins to quickly scan the house. She walks outside, calling out your name, before seeing you up on the roof top, looking drunk off your ass. She left you alone for like, 15 minutes.

And of course when she comes back you’re hanging from the roof top like a zoo animal.

She quickly heads upstairs, crawling onto the roof top with you. You looked a little worse from this angle, if she was being honest.

“Oh god, Y/N, hi. Let’s get you inside, don’t want you face planting into the pool.”

You look at her, squinting, before pointing your bottle at her, “But I was just getting comfy,” you protest, words slightly mixing together.

“We can get up here till you’re sober enough not to roll off this roof,” Tara grunts, dragging you inside and onto the bed.

You mumble incoherently as you squirm on the bed while she awkwardly moves her bangs out of her face.

It’s mostly silent, besides the hum in the walls from the music downstairs. You stop squirming for a moment, before you look at her, attempting to look serious. “Did you mean it?” You ask, a little disoriented but functioning, “what you said earlier.”

How was she going to get through explaining while you were drunk?

What is she going to do with you?

p.s i was super iffy on posting this cause i feel like there are so many spots i could make better but if i didn't give this to you guys it would take a while for me to post again

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