torchwickd - Tumblr blog

[torchwickd]

[torchwickd]

when it’s time for your favorite character to show up

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[torchwickd]

Reblog if your Muse has a kill count of 5+

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i love saying fuck me because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly

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“ DEAR FUTURE, I bought you ! I own the right,  to let go, DESTROY YOU, this is my life ! ”

private / selective roman torchwick from rwby. avenged by april. 

law | about | verses

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due to personal reasons I will be cheating death

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❛  in retrospect, that’s the funniest thing i’ve ever seen in my life.  

john mulaney meme: ACCEPTING

“So glad you’re amused.” 

The ginger’s voice is sharp as nails. He narrows his green eyes on her, absently twirling the Melodic Cudgel, pointing the barrel of the deadly cane-cannon just a little too close to her. One pull of the trigger and BOOM!

“I can’t blame you,” Roman sighs, lulling his head to the side dramatically, “Normally, I’d be laughing, too. But, unfortunately, them dying is a problem for me.” What? You mean all of Roman’s grunts getting blasted with a test run is a bad thing? Who woulda thought. 

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*  JOHN  MULANEY ;  THE  COMEBACK  KID.

❛  we’ve all gone too big too fast and then run out of the room.  ❜ ❛  block letters and cursive look good together!  ❜ ❛  yeah, but the past is the past.  ❜ ❛  i mean we’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly.  ❜ ❛  i don’t give off that vibe.  ❜ ❛  you could pour soup in my lap and i’ll probably apologize to you.  ❜ ❛  i’m so open and vulnerable.  ❜ ❛  i love saying “my wife”, it sounds so adult.  ❜ ❛  marriage is gonna be very magical.  ❜ ❛  ooh, who’s that fella? i bet he did kill his wife.  ❜ ❛  how could another person kill someone?  ❜ ❛  i’m not gonna do it, but i totally get it.  ❜ ❛  it’s creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly.  ❜ ❛  anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents has to die.  ❜ ❛  that’s not even a situation.  ❜ ❛  hey, you seen any loose milk?  ❜ ❛  i don’t know if you can tell that from the… everything about me.  ❜ ❛  … and a hush falls over the room.  ❜ ❛  isn’t it weird how that became a scandalous thing?  ❜ ❛  it was just some boring shit i had to do on weekends.  ❜ ❛  aw, she’s ugly!  ❜ ❛  wouldn’t you give like a million dollars to see that wedding video?  ❜ ❛  ‘cause you know how you lie to your parents?  ❜ ❛  what? huh? what? when? when?  ❜ ❛  let’s see, what problems can we solve?  ❜ ❛  that’s not how you talk.  ❜ ❛  let’s change it to trick ___.  ❜ ❛  it’s like having a baby that’s also a grandma.  ❜ ❛  oh, the things i have seen, you cocksucker.  ❜ ❛  ___  is my best friend in the world, i give her a million kisses a day.  ❜ ❛  you are no longer the alpha of the house.  ❜ ❛  look upon your sovereign,  ___,  and  tremble!  ❜ ❛  it’s haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash.  ❜ ❛  i love real estate agents. i mean, they are the true heroes.  ❜ ❛  it was like hanging out with my mom.  ❜ ❛  they always have that ‘fun mom’ energy.  ❜ ❛  so, there’s no toilets.  ❜ ❛  well yeah, that’s how all of life works.  ❜ ❛  this is an on - fire garbage can.  ❜ ❛  this is an on - fire garbage can. could be a nursery.  ❜ ❛  sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all.  ❜ ❛  you’re never too young to learn our national no - snitching policy.  ❜ ❛  fell deadly silent, is what they all did.  ❜ ❛  no one wants to applaud the penis of a 32 - year old weirdo.  ❜ ❛  i had no supervision when i was a kid.  ❜ ❛  i grew up before children were special.  ❜ ❛  i’m so horny and angry all the time.  ❜ ❛  and i have no outlet for it, so…  eggs.  ❜ ❛  i think emily dickinson’s a lesbian.  ❜ ❛  you can imagine the kind of stress that i’m under.  ❜ ❛  i’m telling you three weeks in advance.  ❜ ❛  that’s exactly what you won’t ask.  ❜ ❛  and then, he ordered one black coffee for himself, and kept driving.  ❜ ❛  in retrospect, that’s the funniest thing i’ve ever seen in my life.  ❜ ❛  what do you do to afford v-necks, ___?  ❜ ❛  ah, numbers. the letters of math.  ❜ ❛  no one look at me or i’ll kill myself.  ❜ ❛  thank you, no one will ever see me again!  ❜ ❛  who could she have been talking to?  ❜ ❛  i need you to believe me.  ❜ ❛  one feels like a duck when one is splashing around in all this wet!  ❜ ❛  i think about that every goddamn day.  ❜ ❛  that’s the wonderful thing about crazy people, you know?  ❜ ❛  eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.  ❜ ❛  a very upsetting thing to hear, yes?  ❜ ❛  if you eat ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs.  ❜ ❛  one black coffee. same motherfucker.  ❜ ❛  my feet were not on the ground.  ❜ ❛  he never forgets a bitch, ever.  ❜ ❛  then it is revealed that she has NO hand.  ❜ ❛  you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclaire.  ❜

[torchwickd]

“ DEAR FUTURE, I bought you ! I own the right,  to let go, DESTROY YOU, this is my life ! ”

private / selective roman torchwick from rwby. avenged by april. 

law | about | verses

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[torchwickd]

[torchwickd]

[torchwickd]

hate it when you try to kill someone and they dont die like how rude do you have to be

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it’s not you’re* or your*. it’s all Mine. everything is Mine

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I  DON’T  need a crown I  DON’T  need a throne I  DON’T  need a castle

                     I already know I  RULE  this kingdom