tortmentousnightmare

[tortmentousnightmare]

hmmmmmmm. maladapts your fuckign. coping mechanisms

[tortmentousnightmare]

i feel like i deserve some acknowledgement for what a good liar i am. you don't even know how hard it is to keep all this made up stuff sorted in my head. like, yeah, eventually the pin will drop or whatever and all of the things I've been trying to hide for my entire life will get exposed and whatever. but man. I've had a pretty good run of it so far.

[tortmentousnightmare]

WHY do i have to do FUCKING EVERYTHING. im so fucking tired i just want it to be OVER

[tortmentousnightmare]

the machine isn't even capitalist. it's fascist for fucks sake.

I've spent 25 years doing nothing but talking big and becoming another cog. killing myself would be the biggest wrench i can reasonably throw in the system. sowed and reaped or whatever

[tortmentousnightmare]

I've spent 25 years doing nothing but talking big and becoming another cog. killing myself would be the biggest wrench i can reasonably throw in the system. sowed and reaped or whatever

[tortmentousnightmare]

hey why are we still doing this after five years. why are we still doing anything at all if it was supposed to get better. i can tangibly track the progression of everything getting worse. me, us, the world. where the fuck is the better huh?

[tortmentousnightmare]

me when I'm miserable so i have to insert myself into your solo plans so that you are also miserable during an otherwise fun time

[tortmentousnightmare]

[tortmentousnightmare]

[tortmentousnightmare]

ooooooo not a fan of how i only feel like myself at all at work. because I'm not actually myself at work. i sure hope this isn't foreshadowing anything

[tortmentousnightmare]

My therapist called me a people pleaser, but if that were true… where are the pleased people? People are not pleased.

[tortmentousnightmare]

im literally right all of the time and everybody genuinely angry about it. what is the point.

[tortmentousnightmare]

[tortmentousnightmare]

romantic snuff is cancelled i am now romanticizing dying alone and afraid bc its nothing less than i deserve

[tortmentousnightmare]

we in the bathroom turning our psychological and emotional pain into physical pain 🤙

[tortmentousnightmare]

My NPD is so contradictory: "You're all machines made of flesh, I see none of you as sentient beings but please don't say anything mean about me - I value what you think of me."

[tortmentousnightmare]

thank you for your constructive criticism. unfortunately, i have been sent into a rage which i will not mentally recover from for three years