totalchaos - Tumblr blog

[totalchaos]

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

[totalchaos]

The act of simply watching people have sex is itself morally neutral. That's all porn is.

[totalchaos]

[totalchaos]

[totalchaos]

I don’t know if someone has done this already but HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERMA <3

[totalchaos]

[totalchaos]

m

[totalchaos]

[totalchaos]

Making gifs is hard

[totalchaos]

Dr. President. They missed again

[totalchaos]

[totalchaos]

[totalchaos]

ITS 1AM I WAS JUST ABOUT TO START CRANKING MY HOG AND A GECKO FELL RIGHT ON MY CHEST OUT OF NOWHERE ????

[totalchaos]

[totalchaos]

you would not believe your tits

if ten million crackers (ritz)