secret hornyposting blog for my especially embarrassing things | 20 | xe/it/he MINORS/AGELESS ACCS GET BLOCKEDi mostly lurk tags and don't check the accs too often, let me know if you want a reblog taken down
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Overconfident characters who fully believe they'll make it. Thinking they'll excuse themselves to the bathroom eventually, now just isn't the right time, but they can wait. Or maybe there isn't a suitable place to go at the moment, no matter, they'll be fineee. no matter how desperate they are, they somehow manage to not doubt themselves and their abilities to hold it…until without their permission, their body just decides for them that it can no longer take it
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Oh, you need to pee?
*holds your thighs open and tickles your urethra with a feather while you squirm*
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guy who is a heavy sleeper being woken up by his bladder. sleepy and comfy, he just ignores it and tries to go back to sleep. as he drifts in and out of sleep, his need gets progressively more urgent, but so does his resolve to actually catch more solid sleep. subconsciously, he goes to hug his comforter between his legs, eventually ending up with it bunched up high between his thighs, his ankles crossed to help. he starts to squirm and rock back and forth, trying to suppress the need for a bit longer. the motions have his soft dick slowly drag inside his loose pyjama pants, providing a gentle friction that toon have him not so soft anymore. he ends squeezing his thighs and grinding, now not only as a way to hold back his need to relieve himself but also because it just feels good. having an erection does help him hold, so much so that he manages to fall back asleep for a while… until he awakes again, now positively desperate. he finds himself already humping the bunched up comforter, softly panting, when he comes to realize his predicament. he needs to go now. he’s still sleepy tho, sluggish from waking up, and also finding it hard to think, because of his pressing need, and also the jolts of pleasure coursing through his groin with every shift. he’s fully hard, hard and leaking precum in his pyjama pants. the urgency of the situation means he can’t just stop grinding or he fears he’ll lose control. if he was more awake, he’d trust himself to make it to the bathroom quickly, but he isn’t, and he also can’t deny his slightly delirious self that this feels good. unable to reason, all he can do is hold onto the comforter tighter so it’s pulled taught between his thighs, providing both much needed pressure to help his bladder, and pleasure that makes his eyes roll back behind his closed eyelids. he desperately humps the blanket, feeling his desperation heighten and his muscles weaken—he has no idea how ling he’s been holding like this, but it must’ve been a while for how tired he feels already. pissing the bed isn’t an option tho, so he continues and can only moan in pleasure at the friction on his hard, leaking dick. a particularly good thrust sends him twitching in near overstimulation, and he has to halt his motions for a moment. doing so is what makes him leak for the first time. the feeling of warmth blooming on his dick head makes him frantic, he immediately resumes his humping with urgency. his pyjamas are too rough on his sensitive skin now, threatening his very control, but he he does dare stop or slow slow. he yelps and his hips stutter when another leak escapes him, and then another, and then another. feeling the limits of his ability to approach, he starts humping with desperate and renewed vigour, only speeding up every time his muscles spasm and another spurts escapes him. through it all, the pulses of warmth make his precum-slick pyjamas feel good like nothing else on his throbbing erection. unable yo think of getting up and making mad dash for the toilet—unable to think at all—the guy only moans and gasps as he begins losing control, though he never stops trying to hold it. he’s not done having an accident, and trying not to, when the pleasure in his stomach reaches a peak. he leaks forcefully, gasps, twitches, and then ruts against the blanket in short little trusts, until he forgets everything about holding and can only chase his imminent orgasm. he comes like that, hot and intense, inside his pyjama pants. for a brief moment, he forgets all about his desperate need to piss and just lays there, grinding, milking it out, until the pleasure begins to recede and his desperation comes back all at once. he leaks, a strong spurt that hisses, and immediately doubles down on his frantic grinding, only, this time, the movement is nothing but overstimulating his sensitive dick, so soon after coming. it has the opposite intended affect, as the sensation makes him twitch and his exhausted muscles spasm, allowing more piss to escape him. he tries to cling to control, he really does, but it’s futile.
moaning from the harsh overstimulation, he doesn’t stop grinding, too far gone to reason that it’s no use, besides, it still feels good through the pain. with every rut, more piss leaks out of his dick, which refuses to fully soften under the constant stimulation. just like that, he slowly loses control of his bladder, until a near continuous stream is pouring out. elated, he continues to rub his hard dick through it. he doesn’t stop when the stream finally dims and stop, still turned on beyond relief. right away, he grinds to another orgasm, not satisfied until his dick is throbbing in his pants again and the pleasure overwhelms him.
while he lays in the aftermath, soaked and twitchy, his bladder throbs again, and he can’t help but moan as the very last drops escape him, feeling almost as good at the other type of relief he just got.
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I used to be put off by the idea of ovipositors, but over the years I really got into them. Personally, I really like the scenario of a monster/alien partner who passes a handful of eggs into you, each one slowly coming through at a time, giving them a state of orgasm that can last several minutes. Every time they finally deposit an egg in you after minutes of pushing, it's so relieving to them that they let out the hottest gasp, still drooling and shivering in their bliss as the next egg starts to come. You're murmuring praise and kissing them, but they're in so much ecstasy that they can barely respond.
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edging my pot of water by turning off the stove just before it boils
#posts brought to you by Delirious With Headache And Issues Cube#for the record this is funnyjokes but if this strikes any other objectum guys then. o7 respect#object tag#os/or
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IBM PS/1 Model 2121 (1992)
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robot pretending that a part of them is broken so they can "accidentally" have a reason to shove their mechanic's face deep into their essential components
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Being attracted to computers with no background in tech is so embarrassing.
Like yes I do know what type of computer that is by name, what year it was made, and yes I do know the specs
No, I have no idea how to fix your modern computer with the issues its having
But I could hump the tower for you if you think that'd help
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Transparency is like lingerie to me <333









Busting everywhere btw
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i desperately want to play with someone while their legs are bound apart or to a spreader bar so they can’t close their thighs to escape the stimulation
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yeah vanilla sex is great but have you ever felt the satisfaction of tying up a man who is easily twice your size and hear him whimper at your every touch?
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I need to worship a boy. Watch him blush and get shy when I kiss him. Lick stripes up his body and get him moaning my name until he comes. Call him pretty as he comes undone beneath me. Tell him how wonderful he is as I ride him. Hear him squelch up into me and hear how he moans and loses control of his hips because it feels so good. Have him grind into my thigh with his head on my shoulder so I can hear him gasping and panting. Strip for him and watch him get hard at the sight of me. Have him masturbate to me. Push into him with a strap while he fists the sheets and breathes all shakily and asks me to fuck him. Ass in the air and hand around his cock as I pump into him. Skin against skin and whispers of "My pretty boy."
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Me stopping my microwave one second before it finishes every day: "ahww poor little thing, so close. Must be frustrating, isn't it? Don't worry we will try again tomorrow, maybe I'll be more lenient to let you finish for once"
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if god didn't want me to have sinful thoughts then why did he make submisive pathetic looking men
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