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[toxictraitor]

This is such a weird post to make and I don’t know if anyone cares.

I’ve more or less decided to move on from this account.  

The answer as to why is pretty long.

This account, while it holds so much of me and so many great memories, has so many stains on it.  I’m at a point that I want to move forward and not feel weighed down by the painful things that have happened on here.

I don’t know how many of you know about my struggle with my mental health.  I have pmdd, which is like pms except more severe.  Due to the effects of pmdd, I struggle with depression, anxiety, mood swings, extreme anger, and other severe things that I don’t want to mention here.

I can count at least five people I’ve fought with because of my pmdd.  Five people.  Five people that I can’t fix things with.  Five people that I can never resolve things with.

It’s heartbreaking to me to know that I cause so much damage and hurt, mostly because I feel damaged and hurt.  I make up stories in my head that aren’t true, I feel worthless, I feel hopeless and I hate myself so much that I want to destroy myself in whatever way possible.

When I look back at what I’ve done, I feel ashamed.  I’ve taken steps to try to better myself so I don’t hurt more people.  I still struggle but I’m trying my best to not let it ruin my life and hurt others.

This account is also where I’ve had people hurt me.  I’ve been lied to, stalked, manipulated and sexually harassed.  It always amazes me when I realized that I’m more affected by these things than I ever thought I was.

I had such a good speech in my head but I’ve forgotten most of it.

To put things shortly.  I want to move on to a new chapter and I won’t be on this blog anymore.  At least while I try to recover more.

[toxictraitor]

The tea is hot today.

[toxictraitor]

ace and aro people are lgbt+ thank you for coming to my ted talk

[toxictraitor]

Me making a friendship only to find out they’re a dick

[toxictraitor]

Henlo. I'm not here much anymore. I'm usually on Twitter.

I'm @shunnyshine if you want to see me tweet stupid things.

[toxictraitor]

[toxictraitor]

u ever think??

[toxictraitor]

so who else gets irrationally afraid and embarrassed about their interests being known to people in real life

[toxictraitor]

things about cuddling that fanfictions often fail to mention:

“move my arm is falling asleep”

“i can’t breathe”

“just jam your knee right up my crotch. this is fine”

“omg get up you’re taking up the whole bed”

“did you just fart” “yes” “it’s okay. release your demons”

“did you just fart” “yes” “okay.” *ten seconds later* “AUGH”

“you’ve got bad breath” “omg do i really” “yes” “i’m so sorry” “it’s okay”

*hand is accidentally on a boob/nipple/genital* “omg don’t move”/”omg i’m so sorry”

*can hear the other’s tummy gurgle*

“i’m hungry” “i’m not moving”

“i have to pee” “nooooooo”

*right as one person is about to fall asleep, one of their body parts jerk and it scares the poop out of the other person*

*hours later when they’ve both fallen asleep and are no longer cuddling, one person stretches and softly punches the other in the face*

bonus:

“do you remember when you used to think you were straight”

“do you remember when we thought we were just friends”

[toxictraitor]

do your ever get excited to see certain mutuals in your notes like yes i pleased the Friend

[toxictraitor]

Hey I’m gonna start a new ask meme: Come into my inbox and tell me what you think my “Type” is

[toxictraitor]

Asexuality 101: We’re not all sex repulsed (featuring Embly)

[toxictraitor]

when you walk past your cat’s food bowl and they start screaming at you even though you both know full well you put food in there barely an hour ago

[toxictraitor]

*tells your fortune with printed love live cards* 

[toxictraitor]

This was originally going to be a lot longer, but I ran out of steam! I have some thoughts to continue it later if I feel up to it!

-Yamino

P.S. Shoutout to my wife @summerlightning for helping me bounce off ideas and editing the text!

[toxictraitor]

For only $20 you too can fuck Satan

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CREAM. TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK. 

MEMORIZE THE PACKAGING SO YOU MAKE SURE YOU NEVER BUY THIS CREAM FOR YOURSELF OR ANYONE YOU LOVE.

This post is about vaginas. My vagina in particular. I get yeast infections pretty regularly, and until recently I was able to afford to see a doctor who could prescribe me fluconazole.

Fluconazole, a drug also known by the brand name Diflucan, is a small pink pill. You take two pills a few days apart from each other to restore balance and harmony to your bountiful folds. I’ve never ever had a bad side effect from taking this pill.

Cut to November 2016. I’m a recent college grad without reliable health care coverage in the process of finding a job. And I’m dealing with a yeast infection. Before I moved out of state, my previous doctor told me about Miconazole. She said it was as effective as the pill and hallelujah, it’s over the counter! I decided to purchase the cream pictured above. This treatment only lasted 3 days, a convenient time frame for my schedule.

The application process was a little messy, and some of the cream came in contact with my vulva and labia. Within 5 minutes every piece of skin that had come in contact with the cream, excluding my hands, was on fire. I wanted to scream it was so painful. I began frantically searching for what I should do online. 

I found a whole forum of people on drugs.com who had experienced something similar. These comments saved me, and these were just on the first page. There were 33 pages total, the earliest dated July 2009.

I was writhing in pain at 2AM when I found this forum (which I found by searching “my vagina burn itch hurts after miconazole” on Google). As soon as I read these comments I threw the devil cream directly into the trash and jumped in the shower. I didn’t feel any actual relief until I reached in and scraped the cream out of me. I paid $17 plus tax on this bullshit, but I could have just as easily ripped up my money or paid someone to not hurt me. 

The moral of the story is that vaginal health care is is completely fucked up because we don’t have access to an over the counter cure for yeast infections that is safe for our bodies and also YOU SHOULD NEVER BUY THIS CREAM EVER.

Reblog to save a vagina.

[toxictraitor]

Follow me on Twitter for stupid tweets and lots of me crying.