toxofagmosis

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best m/f dynamic is a flamboyant bisexual show-off desperately in love with an extremely practical girl who’s difficult to impress 🤩

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when you so autistic you lowkey feel like a predator for seeing someone and randomly falling completely head over heels in love with them so you have to then secretly photograph them and jerkoff all over the photographs then track them down and start following them aeound at the grocery store until they go on their phone and watch them put in their password like a hawk then following them home and sneaking in through the windownand unlocking their phone and finding all their socials & phone number and writing it all down, leaving, calling them pretending to be an insurance call but you're actually across the street from their window jackin off in the car, hanging aeound after the call ends, a girl comes over, they fuck, you watch from outside licking on and breathing up against the window, you nut and scream moaning and if shoots on the wall, you donf havs time to clean it up before someone goes oitside and sees the nut splatter, what the fuck?? is that nut??? babe. What the fuck??? They both aggro, you gotta go home. and add them on faceboo⁹ok

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god i never told you guys but a couple weeks ago at work i heard a guy say, and i closely paraphrase, "So I was out with my partner--republicans hate it when i say that. My heterosexual partner Jessica--" and i was straight up crying before he finished his sentence. fully diegetic convergent linguistic evolution live in the workplace

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thank u for being a strong independent omega role model 🙏

don’t say that

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we smoking nothing. we have nothing

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family group chat

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shower beer but its a coke zero instead

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unfortunately i have fallen in love with a song that's 1 minute and 16 seconds long

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They closed the Death Wendy's over a year ago and I'm still mad about it. It was a Wendy's located in the middle of a six-way intersection, requiring many pedestrians to cross the street 3 times in a row in order to get to it

It was one of the city's top ten spots for car crashes, multiple people died there, and the service was terrible. I miss it dearly

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tell me my prof didn’t upload the reading by photocopying his kindle reader page by page

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Peanuts, June 23, 1952