trainwreckondeck

[trainwreckondeck]

I had to take a dance class and I have straight up never felt worse about my body

I have no muscle, I’m soft and fat in all the wrong places, I’m flat in all the wrong places, my arms and legs are so long and ungrateful that I look like a crippled baby giraffe when I move.

why did anyone think DANCE was a good idea for me? I should not be allowed to move EVER.

[trainwreckondeck]

Everytime I think I make progress I get reminded that I’m not shit and no one fucking cares about me.

[trainwreckondeck]

I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

[trainwreckondeck]

hey just popping in to say I still wish I was dead

[trainwreckondeck]

Im so sick to death of this world. The willful ignorance at the expense of trans people, especially children, exhausts me to the point of tears. I am angry all the time. I am hopeless all the time. This country isn’t great. It is a trick. The only grooming being done is by a country indoctrinating its children with toxic nationalism, so they may never wise up to the reality that it is all at their own expense.

[trainwreckondeck]

*mcdonalds jingle*

ba da ba da daaaa

I wanna die

[trainwreckondeck]

Felt like shit so I slept for six hours. Woke up and immediately resumed sobbing.

why can’t i fucking get this under control?

[trainwreckondeck]

I have people I don’t want to let down.

[trainwreckondeck]

Don’t think this is news to anyone but I wanna diiieeeeeeeeeee

[trainwreckondeck]

[trainwreckondeck]

[trainwreckondeck]

It always has....?

[trainwreckondeck]

It’s just fucking hard. I feel like I’m failing in front of everyone. I want so so so bad to be good at my job and I’m just not. And people have put so much time and money and effort into me I can’t help but feel like a complete waste.

[trainwreckondeck]

[trainwreckondeck]

Me when that body dysphoria™ hits in public:

[trainwreckondeck]

Do you ever feel lonely?

Even around other people?

[trainwreckondeck]

I fucking hate it here. The internet was a mistake. These kids need to learn to stop weaponizing their queerness because I swear to god they are working my last good nerve and I need them to 100% get off my back. I do not owe you anything because I’m trans. Stop acting like I do. You’re being an asshole and I’m allowed to tell you to knock it the fuck off.