transmettaton-a-blog

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hey, i just moved, so - 

like or reblog this if you’d be willing to rp with a canon/fanon-divergent underfell mettaton?

selective/private, run by seraf. 5 or so years rp experience. 

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i’ve moved! over at @transmettaton now. 

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outbraves:

   Through dulled senses muffled by the occasional sob he tries to forget he’s giving, he manages to catch the sentimentality of a moment like this, for better or for worse ——— and his sorrow, much as his joy, seems to be contagious. Those around his smiles return them; those who watch him cry begin to wilt. It’s a VICIOUS cycle of passing negativity around to whomever ventures near, but he does well to keep it to himself —— only now, he has company. It’s almost as if feeding upon one another’s emotions until they’re but a shell of their former selves, but in an odd way, it’s kind of—— cleansing. They’re tearing themselves apart as if shedding their skin like snakes, become revitalized and anew with exposure. He isn’t sure what to think of it — isn’t it supposed to help to get this out? — but he does realize the ever-growing desire to burrow back into his shell. He bravely sticks it out; denial will get them nowhere now.

   “I WOULD NEVER THINK DIFFERENTLY OF YOU! NOT—— IN A BAD WAY, ANYHOW,” Papyrus is quick to assert, his voice unsteady. The familiarity of his words is striking. Hasn’t he himself already gone through this in his mind, over and over and over again? Fearing the rejection that would rear its ugly head is but one reason he tears away from people before they get too close. They need not know his worst secrets, lest they turn him away like a wailing, unstable babe. As if people don’t take him seriously enough already.

   “YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO! YOU’RE MY FRIEND! I ALMOST DID———” He chokes, and his voice raises as though with frenetic insistence, when honestly—— it’s his emotional state on the fritz. “A-AWFUL, AWFUL THINGS, AND IF YOU DON’T THINK I’M USELESS AND WORTHLESS AFTER ALL OF THAT, I-I——”

   “SORRY! SORRY,” he hurriedly adds out of instinct. It’s reminiscent of the crybaby of a child he once was, apologizing for even the tiniest of mishaps. It took him a while to grow out of that habit. Balling a fist against the underside of sockets does he shove away at the streaks, sniffling and certain that his nasal cavity is running and disgusting right now. He remembers another reason why he hates to cry, the fact that it’s so damn unbecoming. “MY POINT!—— IS THAT, THAT YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING, AND I WON’T JUDGE YOU. I COULDN’T. I WOULDN’T. SORRY, I PROMISE I’M——” He inhales sharply, wetly, and he dabs carefully at his face.

                   “— I PROMISE THAT I’LL LISTEN.”

[ there is something cleansing, something close to pure, about being able to cry for the sake of someone else. to come out of your shell and feel safe in feeling vulnerable, for once. mettaton has earned his reputation as the crybaby of the underfell world, and maybe it’s deserved, but… it feels good, almost, to crumple without worrying about who will see. he trusts papyrus to not judge him for the way his shoulders curl in on themselves, like a house with an unsteady foundation caught in the wrath of a hurricane. ]

[ no one ever said his foundation was steadily built. ]

[ there’s still a part of him that wants to turn back. he’s worried of being manipulative - that he’s forcing papyrus to carry this weight, in some way. that by giving his friend his story, he’s just leaving him with an even greater weight on his shoulders. and god, he doesn’t want to do that, doesn’t want to become what’s expected of him there. he breathes once, twice, shaky and unsteady. ]

[ he won’t judge you. ]

[ you aren’t a burden. ]

[ … then why did that feel like a lie in his mouth? ]

PROMPT; RESPONSE

: ‘ you’re anything but worthless and useless, papyrus. and… i know. what it’s like to feel like that. despite everyone’s assurances.. ‘

[ he’s looking down at his hands, clawed fingers of four arms flexing, his face bitter, but quietly so. four armed freak. he’d never be allowed to forget what he was. ]

: ‘ ––– despite everyone’s assurances, i can’t help but think i’m pathetic. good for nothing freakshow, you know? ‘

[ he’s burying his face once in his head, regulating his breathing and monitoring the agitated pace of his gears and inner systems, looking to anything to be a distraction to the calamity of thoughts pounding in his head. ]

< systems/maintain:level-regular/calming1 >

[ when his voice comes, it sounds as if it’s coming from a distance, mettaton’s eyes miles away as they unfocus, nails digging into his thighs. ]

PROMPT; RESPONSE

: ‘ … for me it happened - happens? in cycles. ‘

[ he’s sighing, looking away from papyrus. ]

: ‘ alphys built my body. and so … for years, with her, she was the only person i was ever in contact with. and she convinced me that… there was another reason for that. that she was the only person who wouldn’t ever leave me, because - who else would want to spend time on someone so useless, right? there were … only a few reasons why people would ever want me. ‘

[ there’s a nervous tic developing, if papyrus knows where to look - his lower pair of eyes shuts, his fingers drum. an attempt to look normal, combined with an anxious habit. ]

: ‘ ––– for… people would hurt me, or i’d have to be useful as … an object, or for sex. and so… i needed people to stay. it felt like it would rip me apart if they didn’t. so i would - it would feel like that was what i deserved, so i’d… let people do what they want. and … that became what was normal for me, so i’d seek it out more, because it was the only thing that i was used to. and so it would go around and around in circles. i’d do something bad, i’d suffer the consequences, it’d make me feel worthless, and so i’d do something bad because that’s what i deserved. ‘

[ there’s a half-hearted shrug. ]

PROMPT; RESPONSE

: ‘ and… that kind of led up to, ah, recent events. if the one way that i could do something to make people happy was by killing myself, then… i figured i might as well give people what they wanted for once, you know? and… i was so tired. ‘

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hiatus notice

hey, guys.

there’re a couple of reasons i’m doing this, but i’m going to categorize it into basically: losing muse and motivation, and the undertale fandom becoming more and more of a cesspool. will i be back? probably, i’m considering moving/remaking. 

skype/discord under the cut - feel free to come talk to me:

Keep reading

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Said During D&D Starter Meme

Wine isn’t flammable enough. You need vodka or something.

Am I allowed to dance on her grave?

Look, I’m all for destroying things, but…

Are you still on the ceiling?

Are you /more/ or /less/ undead than [name]?

If you’re still alive by then, go ahead.

I will explain nothing. You must discover.

I know it was rude, okay?

I’m not happy about this, okay? I don’t like hurting people!

How many miles per hour is that?

There’s blood everywhere!

What’s a good song for this situation?

Will you seek revenge?

This is a family-friendly establishment, sir.

This is the third time you’ve run away over the course of this fight, if you’re keeping track.

That doesn’t count as a costume, it’s just a hat.

He’s all talk. He’s never actually killed you.

Wait, do you not have any money?

Well, maybe the demon has devoured multiple people.

He is not a scaredy cat.

None of us came here to fight a vampire.

What happened? Where are you?

Who did she get murdered by?

The vampire killed her, but not with his mouth.

You killed her! You set the fire she died in!

Doesn’t he know that tweets can be 140 characters?

Are there any other figures of authority?

This entire town wants to kill me, so I owe them nothing.

Wolves aren’t necessarily considered townsfolk. Can they vote?

Who do you report to?

These people don’t like us.

I don’t know what we can even do to help them.

That’s not my name and you know it.

This is by far the worst contract I have ever been on.

Now everybody wants to steal!

I’m not a thief, I’m a lady. And an arsonist.

It’s a bonfire.

Is the frog a good guy or a bad guy?

I feel like we’ve accomplished nothing.

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HEATHERS THE MUSICAL LYRIC STARTERS.

I believe I’m a good person.

I think there’s good in everyone.

I look around at all these people I’ve known all my life and I ask myself… what happened?

This ain’t no high school, this is the Thunderdome.

Hold your breath and count the days.

We’re graduating soon.

College will be paradise.

I know life can be beautiful.

If we/I changed back then, we/I could change again.

Hey, are you okay?

Things will get better.

Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze.

What did you say to me, skank?

We were kind before, we can be kind once more.

We on for movie night?

What can I say? I’m a sucker for a happy ending.

He is the smartest guy on the football team, which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.

I’m sorry, are you actually talking to me?

You’re a high school has-been waiting to happen.

Why do they/you hate me?

Why don’t I/you fight back?

Why do I/you act like such a creep? 

Why do I cry myself to sleep?

Send me a sign, God!

She is a mythic bitch.

I would give anything to be like that.

Maybe you should see a doctor.

For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.

You could stand to lose a few pounds.

I don’t want any trouble.

Don’t you dare touch me!

Who could survive this?

I think I’m dying.

Are we gonna have a problem? You got a bone to pick?

I’d normally slap your face off and everyone here could watch, but I’m feeling nice.

If you lack the balls, you can go play dolls.

You just gotta prove you’re not a pussy anymore.

Why when you see boys fight does it look so horrible yet feel so right?

I shouldn’t watch this crap, that’s not who I am.

Could you be seen with me and still act proud?

It’s fine if you don’t agree.

I would fight for you if you would fight for me.

Happiness comes when everythings numbs.

The world doesn’t owe you a cent.

You’re planning your future, ____. You’ll go to some college and marry a lawyer.

The sky’s gonna hurt when it falls, so you better start building some walls.

Drink, smoke, it’s all cool.

Let’s get naked in my pool.

Let’s rub each other’s backs while watching porn on Cinemax.

It’s time for big fun!

So wait, it’s lime, then salt, then shot?

You’re doing it wrong!

You’re looking good tonight!

Woah, a hot guy/girl smiled at me without a trace of mockery!

Stoned. Zoned. I should quit.

Hey, is that weed? I want a hit.

I’m not afraid.

I feel like Bono at Live Aid!

Way to show maturity!

Quit it jackass, get off of me!

I didn’t need your help.

You need a jello shot!

I can’t believe you actually came.

It’s exciting, right?

Showing up here took some guts.

Why do you gotta be so weird all the time? People wouldn’t hate you so much if you acted normal.

There’s no alcohol in here! Are you trying to poison me?

I’m in your yard.

I’m a dead girl/man walking.

What’re you doing in my room?

Sorry, but I really had to wake you.

I decided I must ride you till I break you.

Tonight I’m yours.

Lets go, you know the drill.

I’m hot and pissed and on the pill.

You say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree.

So the world’s unfair, keep it locked out there.

How’d you find my address?

Let’s break the bed!

I think you tore my mattress!

Believe it or not, I knew about fear.

I hid behind smiles and crazy hot clothes.

The world, it held me down, it weighed like a concrete prom queen/king crown.

No one thinks a pretty girl/boy has feelings.

No one sees the me inside of me.

Jesus, you’re making me sound like Air Supply.

No one thinks a pretty girl/boy has substance. That’s the curse of popularity.

I am more than just a source of handjobs.

Call me when the shuttle lands.

I weep for all I failed to be.

You’re very quiet. What’s on your mind?

I’m bigger than John Lennon!

You got a left hand? Use it.

Don’t talk mean like that.

You make my balls so blue.

You are the only thing that’s right about this broken world.

I was a frozen lake, but then you melted me awake.

You’re not alone.

Our love is God.

We can start and finish wars, We’re what killed the dinosaurs.

I worship you.

I’d trade my life for yours.

I was hoping you’d rip my clothes off me, sport.

Ger off the fence! Get off the damn fence!

I don’t understand.

Stop being a dick!

What does that mean?

What the fuck have you done?!

My teen angst bullshit has a body count.

I can’t believe that you still refuse to get a clue, after all that we been through.

Fine, we’re damaged, really damaged but that does not make us wise.

We’re not special, we’re not different.

Don’t you want a life with me?

If you could let me in I could be good with you.

Don’t stop looking in my eyes.

I wanna be with you.

Hold me tighter. Even closer.

I’ll stay if I’m what you choose.

You’re the one I choose.

Deep inside of everyone, there’s a hot ball of shame.

Everyday’s a battlefield when pride’s on the line.

Our love can knock our walls down.

Tried to change the world, barely made a dent.

I have struggled with despair.

I prayed, but God’s not there.

There’s nowhere to hide.

You don’t deserve to live.

You’re pathetic because you whine!

You’re gonna die alone.

We’re all grown up and we know better.

I believe any dream worth having is a dream that should not have to end.

Oh my God. Is she/he dead?

Keep it together.

I’m so sorry.

Where have you been?

You wouldn’t understand.

You don’t know what my world looks like!

Sorry to come through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know.

You chucked me out like I was trash!

You left me and I fell apart.

You changed my heart and set loose all that truthful shit inside.

I was meant to be yours.

Don’t give up on me now.

Society churns out slaves and blanks. No thanks.

Open the door, please.’

Please, can we not fight anymore?

You’re scared, I’ve been there.

Don’t make me come in there!

No one here deserves to die except for me.

I wish your mom/dad had been a little stronger. I wish she/he stayed around a little longer.

I wish your dad/mom were good.

I wish we met before they convinced you life is war.

I am damaged, far too damaged.

You’re not beyond repair.

You look like hell.

Hey! What are you doing?!

I miss you.

I’d be honored if you’d let me be your friend.

If no one loves me now, some day somebody will.

One day we’ll change the world, but let’s kick back tonight.

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- Andrea Gibson

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like this for an au starter

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If My Muse was a God or Goddess, send what they what they would be God/Goddess of, and What offerings or tribute Your Muse would leave on their Altar to Appease Them.

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#relatable trauma survivor feels

“i dont know”

inconvenient flashbacks and panic attacks

randomly being reminded of your trauma

dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty

bad bad bad bad bad

either having the mindset of a young child or an adult, no in between

“i thought you were older! you’re so mature!”

being legitimately terrified of small sudden movements and everyone thinks it’s hilarious

immediately losing trust in whoever thinks it’s hilarious

the absolute terror of becoming like your abuser one day

it’s my fault

Constant Vigilance

that self-doubt due to repressed memories

“do i hate them or do i hate myself?”

Guilt™ 

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indiemitchell:

You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.

You are going to break your promise. I understand.

You’re lonely too.

It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be.

I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable.

I am your servant.

I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased.

For you alone I will be weak.

I belong here, and you will not deny me.

I say these things, and the world listens.

I do not tolerate a world emptied of you. I have tried.

In the dark, I have pored over the loss of you like pale gold.

I will not let her speak because I love her, and when you love someone, you do not make them tell war stories.

I moved the earth and the water for you.

You will always run away with her.

You will always lose her.

You will always be a fool.

You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear.

You have already done all of this and will do it again.

No one should be judged for loving more than they ought, only for loving not enough.

We look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying.

What we carry between us is hard-won, and we made it just as we wished it to be, just the color, just the shape.

There need never be any rules between us.

Let us be greedy together; let us hoard.

Do not leave me, swear that you will never leave me.

I am selfish. I am cruel. My mate cannot be less than I.

Sleep with fists closed and shoot straight.

I can’t abide a poor liar.

You look like a winter’s night. I could sleep inside the cold of you.

Oh, quit that. Blushing is for virgins and Christians.

Scold me; deny me. Tell me you want what you want and damn me forever. But don’t leave me.

Bad luck relies on absolutely perfect timing.

In his own country, Death can be kind.

What is the world but a boxing ring where fools and devils put up their fists?

Men die. It’s practically what they’re for.

I am no one; I am nothing.

Nothing in me was not made by you.

A revelation is always the end of something. It might even be cause for grief.

Just tell yourself a story that’ll satisfy you and pretend he told it.

Forever isn’t bright; it isn’t like that. Forever is cold and hard and final.

I savor bitterness - it is born of experience. It is the privilege of one who has truly lived.

If you want to kill yourself, do not use us as your knife.

What did I do wrong? Was I boring? Did I ignore you?

Don’t you dare speak to me like that.

I have worn nothing but blood and death for years.

I have fought all your battles for you, just as you asked me.

I have learned not to cry when I strangle a man.

I have learned to watch everything die.

I am not a little girl anymore, dazzled by your magic. It is my magic, now, too.

Are we not devils?

No one is now what they were before the war.

I have not seen you without your skin on.

Close up your head; your brain is getting loose.

We obsess. It’s in our nature.

I’ve a devil of a habit for being right.

In war you must always choose sides.

If you try to be a bridge laid down between them, they will tear you in half.

We are all dead. All equal. Broken and aimless and believing we are alive.

My old bones will follow yours soon enough.

It is better to be strong and cruel than to be fair.

I will see him with his skin off before I agree to fall in love.

After love, no one is what they were before.

I have survived, but I have not been spared.

In the space of one heartbeat to another I loved you and I was lost to you.

Frighten me, make me cry, only come back.

It’s not so bad, my darling. Being dead. It’s like being alive, only colder.

You’ll think it’s love, while he dines on your heart.

You will be so beautiful when you are old.

I cannot keep you and I cannot let you go.

You will live as you live in any world…with difficulty, and grief.

I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.

She said you’d come and I swore to eat your heart.

I still want to kiss you.

My heart is being cut in two. I cannot bear it.

What happens to anything beautiful?

I have to know, I have to or else you will just rule me until the end of everything because you know and I do not.

deathless ♚ sentence meme

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okay, so this is from wikipedia, but its also cited and, from my experience, pretty fucking true

idk its nice to see positive traits blanket assigned to bpd sufferers for once and it made me feel happy so i hope it can make others feel happy too. we’re fantastic people tbh!!!

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real-idol posted:

when you realize you have like... a flinch reaction

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underfell 🙃

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Send me “✧” to catch my muse in nothing but sexy underwear.

Alternately, send  “✦” for my muse to catch yours.