transparentthoughtcollectio-blog

[transparentthoughtcollectio-blog]

Open letter

Dear Zachary James,

It has been a long 9 years. July 28, 2009 wow I still can't believe. It all started with a picture on MySpace and I said oooo I'm going to marry that man and what a whirl wind it has been. We met in August, got pregnant in December, married in July, delivered a healthy baby in September. To be young and in love we thought we could conquer it all. Moved go Texas and planned to start our life together. Then to be hit with a deployment. We thought we could make it but it was our first big test. We fail. We decided to take time apart. We both grew and did different things. We remained friendly and I was glad for that. We have lots of distance between us over these nine years but throughout it all whether we have been together or separated I can always call on you. You have always been there for me when ever I need you. You don't hesitate or even think twice. If I need anything I know you will always be there for me. Yes I nag and I might criticize the way you fold my towels but I still love you trying. I watch you grow everyday and together we are learning new things. We still have lot a to learn but I am so happy to be learning with you. We've been through some shit but I've always loved you. I will always love you. You make me laugh, you make me smile, you piss me off and sometimes I'll even cry for a while but you never give up on me. You show me the person you see in me and always strive to tell me I am great in every thing that I do. When i doubt myself you reassure me. Your always building me up and for that I can never thank you enough. The amount of effort you put in to make sure I am happy is amazing. Updating your wardrobe because you know I like it, make my lunch and putting drawings of prince in it to ensure I have a smile at some point throughout the day, cleaning the house doing the dishes and laundry so I don't have to work to hard when I get home even though you worry you don't do it right you still try and I love that. Your helping me not be so tightly wound. You make me relax and goof off be silly. You allow me to be myself all 50 shades of myself. You accept it and adore it and I am so thankful. I enjoyed our anniversary dinner. You and Jay make my day. Hibachi and dairy queen with my two favorite people. I hope you enjoyed your gifts and our night out. I know I did! I love you and keep doing a great job. We're doing alright! Thanks for everything.

Love,

Stevie Nichole

[transparentthoughtcollectio-blog]

Buttermilk is white driving, biscuit is yellowish, and gravy is brown. Whaaat lol now before you think this is a race blog being my only post have only been about race I assure you it’s not this is just a mere coincidence. Anywho. We’re out to eat enjoying out meal when I noticed gravy is brown why. I don’t understand and why is he's all at the back of the bus and shit. My husband says I’m turning into a black advocate and this town is to blame. I have never been exposed to racism before until recently living in a small town. But it’s everywhere jeez louise. I ordered cheese in my eggs and hash browns and the waitress (sweet girl) says that looks bad don’t know if your gonna be able to eat that. I laughed. Then I asked my husband what does that even mean. He rolls his eyes and says it has begun. We enjoy our meal no complaints. Go to pay and leave and the lady at the counter says oh are you guys traveling tonight. Politely I say oh no. And we leave we walk out and I was like what the fuck why do we gotta be traveling like I can’t be from around here the nerve. Lol my husband is making fun of me because he’s never seen me take offense to as much as I have taken offense to today. He said is it not a fair question. Do we look like we are from around here? Do we dress like we are from around here? Do we talk like we are from around here? Well no, but why even ask does it matter? I think not. Then he did a hilarious skit portraying me as a black activist. I have to be quicker on the draw for recording so I could have shared it with you! On a serious note I have not been exposed to prejudice or racism it is a new feeling. Different. I don’t mind I’m just getting adjusted to it. I am no longer in the big city. Welcome to a small town.

[transparentthoughtcollectio-blog]

So what in the actual ....

Ok, so I read a post it said, "if it's not white it's not right lol". I simply responded "you had to use a black background because white can't stand on its own hahaha." Wow, 111 comments later my conversation was not being understood. If you want to be proud by all means be proud that is your right. I was simply trying to state that in being proud you do not have to put other races down or beneath you. Maybe I over analysed his statement I took it as white is right everything else is not. I mean if you break it down that's what you get. He's not racist though he dated a mixed girl. Not Tanya or Sarah but a mixed girl. Kudos to you dude. I would never define my husband by his race. He is simply my husband Zach or as I call him Zachary. But the man to say he's not racist had to tell me multiple times he dated a mixed girl. Um ok great. I'm not talking about interracial dating and I didn't think you were either. I was simply addressing you don't have to put other races down in being proud of you own. Then they went on to tell my how my ancestors own ancestors sold me into slavery and I should be thankful they did or else I would still be in Africa struggling. Mind you I'm part Native American. So yeah I'd be in Africa. The post didn't upset me hell I even laughed I thought my subtle jab was cute too. But they were getting all worked up about interracial dating and they got lost because we were not well I wasn't discussing racism or dating. I was trying to to explain by saying if it's not white it's not right and how by saying that you are putting one race above all others and that's not nice. I walked away from that conversation feeling well ummm like I was talking to someone with a 5th grade education. Not to say that 5th graders are not smart but they still have some learning to do. I also walked away slightly confused cause her talk to text wasn't translating correctly. You know when you have to re read something like 5 times and then your like oh I get what your dumbass is trying to say. Yeah it felt alot like that. Oh well that's the way it goes.