transweight

[transweight]

Quick PSA: Of course I'm not going to tell anyone what terms that they or can't use for themselves, but I am absolutely not going to ever use the phrase "atypical dysphoria" on this here blog.

What exactly would "typical dysphoria" be then? Gender/sex dysphoria? The only purview one could argue that from is only ever being surrounded by transgender/transsex folk who have no other dysphoria. Gender/sex dysphoria is not seen as typical. No dysphoria is seen as typical in the wider scope of society, and my species dysphoria, age dysphoria, etc. is no more atypical than that of my gender/sex.

It seems fairly common in anti-transid folk who accept that they have some sort of dysphoria but still can't bring themselves to use trans- terminology to describe it. Similar to those who say "I'm not a trans man, I'm a female with DSM-5 gender dysphoria!" But I have also seen pro-transid folk use it as well, and again, not saying you can't use it for yourself, but I will not be.

[transweight]

If I said that I was trying to transition to being skinny in any fat positive space i feel that I would be treated as a misguided traitor. I mean that is how the fat positive and fat Liberation communities treat any public fat person when they lose weight. It's a very tough place to be in. Because i'm having to construct the Paradigm of this transition attempt mostly on my own. Because the anti-fat culture is incredibly awful and judgmental. I have to be very careful going into any weight loss centered spaces online because it's very easy to get sucked into that mindset, that judgment. But the fat positive community will hold the same thing but in a different way i will be told that weight loss is impossible that it's dangerous for me to even try. It's what's kept me not trying for years because I've Been Told that it's impossible anyway and that I'm just going to harm myself if I try. But I just don't think that that's a reasonable position either. I honestly can't say that I trust any medical scientific research when it comes to weight and weight loss not enough to say whether it's possible or impossible because there is so much about the body that we do not fully understand and any and all research regarding weight is so heavily biased that I don't see it being useful for my lived experience. Nor is any research or Paradigm out there for weight loss not with anti fat bias in mind but in identity transition.

So that's the long way of saying yes I am currently attempting to lose weight for the first time in a very long time and I don't feel like there is really any safe place for me to talk about that. The funny thing is the fat positive Community isn't a safe place for people transitioning the other way either. If you're trans weight skinny to fat you could also be treated horribly especially if you're part of the feeder community. I will never forget watching a prominent fat positive blogger harass a black sex worker who was a feeder and saying that they were appropriating fat people by purposefully gaining weight. It was fucking disgusting.

[transweight]

ive reserved this blog for awhile now. been waiting, wanting to post, but.... its hard to talk about.

hi. i'm transweight, transskinny. ive been fat all of my life, and due to both pressure to diet as a child, food insecurity, health issues, medication, and maybe more, my weight is pretty high. and i hate it.

but i'm also a fat liberationist. i believe that fat people are treated awful by society, neglected by doctors, and poorly understood. i believe that many people have no choice in the matter of their body size, and also, people have a right to like being far, or become fat on purpose! fat people deserve so so much better.

but the fat lib and fat positive community cannot fix my dysphoria or my deeply ingrained sense of self. after first being introduced to the fat pos community, i got the idea that is was bad for me to have an internal identity of skinny, and tried to force myself to visualize myself as my body, as fat. it did nothing but cause immense dysphoria, triggered my ocd, and has made it harder for me to feel like myself.

the body is not something one has to accept or succumb to. one does not have to or need to identify with the body. trying to make people be happy or identify with their body when they do not, is conversation therapy. the fact that some people DO happily ID as fat does not change this fact! i am HAPPY for THEM. It is good that people are happy with themselves! but my body causes me constant dysphoria and distress, especially as I have gotten larger over the last few years from medications, because there is sensory input of being in a large body that i cannot tune out, especially as an autistic person.

I hate that there is no place for me in the fat lib and fat pos communities. my identity is not incompatible with wanting better treatment for fat people. It does not negate the bigotry and abuse and lack of accomodation I experience as a fat person. And I feel like this identity, being transweight, makes me a laughing stock. It's a very vulnerable identity to have. Anti transid people and especially fatphobic people probably think I'm a joke. It's not something I feel like I can talk about on main because of the harassment I might face. But I'm going to talk about it here.

[transweight]

Transfat transkinny solidarity forever 🤝

ive reserved this blog for awhile now. been waiting, wanting to post, but.... its hard to talk about.

hi. i'm transweight, transskinny. ive been fat all of my life, and due to both pressure to diet as a child, food insecurity, health issues, medication, and maybe more, my weight is pretty high. and i hate it.

but i'm also a fat liberationist. i believe that fat people are treated awful by society, neglected by doctors, and poorly understood. i believe that many people have no choice in the matter of their body size, and also, people have a right to like being far, or become fat on purpose! fat people deserve so so much better.

but the fat lib and fat positive community cannot fix my dysphoria or my deeply ingrained sense of self. after first being introduced to the fat pos community, i got the idea that is was bad for me to have an internal identity of skinny, and tried to force myself to visualize myself as my body, as fat. it did nothing but cause immense dysphoria, triggered my ocd, and has made it harder for me to feel like myself.

the body is not something one has to accept or succumb to. one does not have to or need to identify with the body. trying to make people be happy or identify with their body when they do not, is conversation therapy. the fact that some people DO happily ID as fat does not change this fact! i am HAPPY for THEM. It is good that people are happy with themselves! but my body causes me constant dysphoria and distress, especially as I have gotten larger over the last few years from medications, because there is sensory input of being in a large body that i cannot tune out, especially as an autistic person.

I hate that there is no place for me in the fat lib and fat pos communities. my identity is not incompatible with wanting better treatment for fat people. It does not negate the bigotry and abuse and lack of accomodation I experience as a fat person. And I feel like this identity, being transweight, makes me a laughing stock. It's a very vulnerable identity to have. Anti transid people and especially fatphobic people probably think I'm a joke. It's not something I feel like I can talk about on main because of the harassment I might face. But I'm going to talk about it here.

[transweight]

ive reserved this blog for awhile now. been waiting, wanting to post, but.... its hard to talk about.

hi. i'm transweight, transskinny. ive been fat all of my life, and due to both pressure to diet as a child, food insecurity, health issues, medication, and maybe more, my weight is pretty high. and i hate it.

but i'm also a fat liberationist. i believe that fat people are treated awful by society, neglected by doctors, and poorly understood. i believe that many people have no choice in the matter of their body size, and also, people have a right to like being far, or become fat on purpose! fat people deserve so so much better.

but the fat lib and fat positive community cannot fix my dysphoria or my deeply ingrained sense of self. after first being introduced to the fat pos community, i got the idea that is was bad for me to have an internal identity of skinny, and tried to force myself to visualize myself as my body, as fat. it did nothing but cause immense dysphoria, triggered my ocd, and has made it harder for me to feel like myself.

the body is not something one has to accept or succumb to. one does not have to or need to identify with the body. trying to make people be happy or identify with their body when they do not, is conversation therapy. the fact that some people DO happily ID as fat does not change this fact! i am HAPPY for THEM. It is good that people are happy with themselves! but my body causes me constant dysphoria and distress, especially as I have gotten larger over the last few years from medications, because there is sensory input of being in a large body that i cannot tune out, especially as an autistic person.

I hate that there is no place for me in the fat lib and fat pos communities. my identity is not incompatible with wanting better treatment for fat people. It does not negate the bigotry and abuse and lack of accomodation I experience as a fat person. And I feel like this identity, being transweight, makes me a laughing stock. It's a very vulnerable identity to have. Anti transid people and especially fatphobic people probably think I'm a joke. It's not something I feel like I can talk about on main because of the harassment I might face. But I'm going to talk about it here.