trashcannotbealive

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imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

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anyways did you guys know the word kindergarten is german. for child garden. why are they putting the children in there

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I think this is a good time to post this.

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thinking about the time a professor said the phrase “it’s just like the judeo-christian concept of turning the other cheek—” to which i immediately said something like “you mean the christian concept? it doesn’t appear in judaism” and he looked at me like a startled slow loris.

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bastard sounds great in an irish accent. if an irish person calls you a 'daft bastard' it just feels right

the welsh have the monopoly on things ending in hell. fuckin hell and bloody hell hit different in a welsh accent. its like music to my ears

the scots have piss and shite for sure. "its pishin it doon out there" "this is a load of shite" absolute poetry

if i may speak for the english i think we do penis related words very well. dickhead, knobhead, twat, etc.

and for all the shit we give them, you gotta admit that no one can deliver a 'goddamn' quite like an american. theres a certain weight to it that you just cant achieve in other accents. when an american says goddamn you know shit just got real

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when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

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Gender is a performance and it’s time to play the music it’s time to light the lights it’s time to meet the muppets on the muppets show tonight

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i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

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reblog this to pet the user you reblogged from please

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do you guys wanna see my favorite video on the internet yes you do

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i discovered who brennan lee mulligan was today

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Mediterranean apathy metaphors

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i actually never ever want AO3 to be censored bc nothing is more fun than reading the tags on a fic and going “huh. didn’t know there was a market for that.”

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