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“me when i lie” is the funniest way to call someone a liar the internet has cooked up thus far

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horror movies are so much scarier when the actors look like an average sampling of the human population. and the house is a little messy

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As , the United States, potentially heads into another forever war I can only think of this quote.

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🤗 i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.

🫂 i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.

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very important nautilus live highlights

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“My favourite thing was a bunch of people made a giant sign that said “How am I going to be an octopus about this?” and held it up during Pompeii at all the right times and it distracted me enough to sing “octopus” instead by accident.”

— Dan Smith [x] (via bastillewtf)

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Nautilus expedition live streams (+ their commentary) | 2024

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a detailed list of things i hate

hot weather

high temperatures

heat

warmer than average conditions

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horror is always like oh no they're possessed by a demon well what about possessed by an angel? angelic possession is also horror.

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Lets go All Over The Fucking Place with mama

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drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

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A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.

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save me bitching

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I’ve been doing some field work in the forest at my job, and fuck, mosquitoes get such a bad rap but seeing them up close they’re just little ladies doing their own little thing!!! Where I live mosquitoes don’t carry diseases, but to avoid the itchy spots I wear long rubber boots, gloves, jacket and outdoor trousers, even a mosquito-netted hat, so the ladies can’t get their blood meal from me but they’ll come to me anyway to see if they might find a spot to strike. I’ll watch as a mosquito carefully hovers over my sleeve, checking a few spots, and when she lands for good she cleans out her wings with her backmost legs. They look so silly when they’re flying and they have their legs held so high! And I never really consciously realised that they hold their back legs in the air while standing. Why is that I wonder? And I love their long proboscis, their defining feature, their little long snoots, they are so easy to see in their silhouette. Truly the borzoi of insects, long legs, slender body, long head!

This is a post meant for appreciating insects, if you want to complain about mosquitoes literally talk to anyone you know except me

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It's funny how american guys who got "73% Scandinavian" in a mail order DNA test once will be like "I have Viking blood coursing through my veins, I'm a natural-born warrior and I've got +5 poison resistance and I'm immune to frost damage", while the average Norwegian guy is just some guy named Lars who works in IT, rides a bicycle to work, and looks like this.