trauma-trove

[trauma-trove]

new substack :)

[trauma-trove]

[trauma-trove]

Don’t call me resilient. I just dissociate with excellent timing.

[trauma-trove]

There is a genuine reason why some people are always worrying (or asking) if their friends are angry with them.

"Childhood sexual and emotional abuse, and physical neglect are linked to more interpretations of neutral facial expressions as contempt and anger." --NIH

[trauma-trove]

They should invent a childhood where you don't emotionally take the role of your divorced mom's husband

[trauma-trove]

covert incest / wikipedia

The emotional incest syndrome : what to do when a parent's love rules your life / patricia love

[trauma-trove]

I'm always scared

[trauma-trove]

Maybe I'm pushing myself too hard

[trauma-trove]

I don't wanna lose myself in this again

[trauma-trove]

My body feels so unsafe all the time

[trauma-trove]

I'm drowning in my past and I don't know how to get out!

[trauma-trove]

I'm not a h*rry p*tter fan but the "lore" about voldemort being unable to make meaningful connections with other people because he was conceived of rape is getting in my psychotic little brain like a worm

[trauma-trove]

[trauma-trove]

"We all have to do things we don't want to" is an insane fuckkng response to someone being raped. Just saying.

[trauma-trove]

i died in that house and I'm buried underneath the floor boards of my childhood bedroom

[trauma-trove]

Its insane how certain behaviours and actions of a parent absolutely fucks up a child to the point where they won't be able to properly function as an adult.

[trauma-trove]

So, my mom no longer makes fun of things I'm interested in (because she doesn't KNOW anything I'm interested in. Shutting the fuck up serves me well <3), so instead she's taken to a weirder way to feel superior to me.... And that's by questioning everything I say or correcting me based on semantics. I would call it semantic abuse, but it's about the dumbest fucking shit on planet earth that I honestly think she sounds stupid to outsiders seeing the conversation themselves.

Like, the other day she talked about how she made natural grape soda with sugar and yeast and stuff, and I mentioned that people making pine needle soda was moderately popular on tiktok for a second. So she went "I don't think you can make it with pine needles?" And she got her phone out and GOOGLED IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. She literally fact-checked me mid conversation JUST to fucking belittle me. Like, she doesnt' do this to anyone else, and no one else has EVER done this to me. And this is just her pattern of behavior, yknow?

After a bit, I kinda joked like, "Well, I saw it on tiktok, and you know how not everything you see on the internet is real." And she literally went "You think so, huh?" in a skeptical tone.

In what UNIVERSE does a person think everything you see online is 100% real all the time. Like girl what the fuck are you doing.

It's just frustrating because she's. Doing something. She's like being weird like this during conversations to feel some weird power over me. I could repeat something she's been telling me herself for my entire life and she'll still find some way to question it and make it look like I'm a huge fucking idiot. She doesn't even put effort into "twisting my words" or whatever, she just goes "um... I don't think so sweaty <3" when I say shit like "not everything you see online is fucking true."