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[travelingmind01-blog]

Every summer I travel to England. This is because my mum was born and grew up there. My family has tons of friends that live there so we visit them every year. It’s always been a fun and refreshing tradition. But as years went by my brothers lost interest. And now it’s just me and my mum. Just us for three weeks. It’s tough to be without them on these trips because all I can remember is being with my siblings having so much fun. And then it makes me think how I am alone at home. They are all growing up and moving away from the family while I am still in high school wanting to die. But I always remember how it’s never going to get better. I am going to go to college and they are going to move away and start working. It’s just tough because I used to have an outlet at home. William would be around to encourage me to procrastinate and play video games. Harry was never around because he was at boarding school but he would always want to do something fun and exciting. And Thomas was just always around for advice. I had support. But now they’re not here. I don’t turn to my friends for help because… just because. I am alone and isolated. It’s just sad to think that I either have already or am currently living through the “good old days.” I don’t want to grow up and grow apart from my siblings but it’s already happening. But that’s it, that’s life. We grow apart and become dependent on ourselves instead of others. It’s better to accept it than fight it. And that’s what I am trying to do.  

[travelingmind01-blog]

Last year at the lacrosse world cup in surrey my coach talked to the England U19 coach. She encouraged me to tryout for the team. So in January I flew over for a weekend to tryout. I met tons of people and it wasn’t that boring! A weekend of lacrosse is nothing to look forward to but it was surprisingly fun. Without a past of travel to England this opportunity would have never arose. I made the team and went back in February. I saw my friends and had so much fun and was very sad to leave. All of this proves that traveling opens up doors to so many things. A trip anywhere will not be forgotten and you will always take something away from it.

[travelingmind01-blog]

The Plane

When you’re on a plane there isn’t much to do. You just sit next to a stranger and listen to music, read a book, or watch a movie. What I do is look out the window for hours. Sometimes I see fluffy clouds that look like the tops of mountains, and other times it’s pitch black and I can vaguely see a sky that’s completely covered with stars. During this time I tend to think of scenarios. For instance I like to think about what would happen if the oxygen masks come down and the plane begins to fall down. I think about completely random, exciting, and sad things because there’s really nothing else to do. Although planes are uncomfortable physically, they can be therapeutic. You realize things that you should be grateful for. So, sometimes I think about what would happen if someone I knew died. How would I feel? This helps me improve my behavior for other people and encourages me to always be loving and forgiving. Then I think about what would happen if I died. Well, to be honest I first think of some bizarre way I would die. It’s always something insane like a school shooting or me saving everyone in school and then getting shot. Anyways, I think to myself “what do I want people to remember me as?” Should I be remembered as a stuck up teenage girl or a girl who talks to everyone and spreads happiness. That’s an obvious answer but on a plane you can think of dozens of things. So, what would you remember from each person you know if they all died?

[travelingmind01-blog]

Tuscany, Italy

On every trip I go on, my mum and I will end up going into some sort of church. In Tuscany, Italy we went into many and in one of the churches there was a preserved body. I was traumatized. Anyways, I was baptized in an anglican church in England. My mum is not religious and my dad is episcopalian (I think). Unlike everyone else I know, I was able to choose what I believed in. To this day I don’t actually know but I chose to believe that there is no God. But that’s something I like about myself. Basically every family I know go to church every so often and are some branch of christian. But my family is not religious. Not sure if I like this because anything different or out of the ordinary intrigues me but I’m proud. So, traveling has put it into perspective for me. Religion doesn’t matter to me. After seeing the architecture from the churches in Italy, it showed me that religion can be a beautiful thing. But it can also cause wars. Religion is something I don’t associate my life with and I’m proud about that. Own it.

[travelingmind01-blog]

Isle of Wight, England 2017

The Isle of Wight is a very small island off the coast of Southern England. It’s a summer getaway for many families living in England. For instance my godfather cookie has a house there named St. Helens. Anyways it’s nothing like a city so there aren’t constant cars zooming around or many street lights. On one of our trips there last summer, we stayed in his house. There are these beautiful balconies. One overlooking the driveway and is often used for a couple people drinking wine and eating crackers on it on a nice day. And another on the very top of the house. When it gets dark I like to step outside onto the lower porch to watch the stars. They look like the picture above. There are thousands right before my eyes. 

One night it was particularly clear so I could see everything. I was planning on walking upstairs to the porch on the top of the house. But of course I decided to continue to watch Game of Thrones on my laptop. I told myself that I would just go the next night.

So the next night I went outside on the porch to look at the stars. And of course it was cloudy. It was my last night there. I missed an opportunity that I wouldn’t get for another whole year. A small lesson I learned was to always take advantage of the opportunities that arise.

Something else to think about from this picture is reality. I personally am not religious. To me, the Bible does not match with any logic that we know of today. So think about the creation story. It doesn’t mention half the things that are in the universe. 

Once my brother mentioned something to me that was very interesting. So today we have these virtual reality headsets that allow us to feel like we are in a new world. I’m not talking about the Samsung goggles in which you’re putting your phone 5 centimeters away from your eyes. I’m talking about the PS4 VR. It’s insane how much you feel like you’re in a different world. Anyways what if we are in a simulation right now? What if technology got so advanced that we can’t even tell what is real or what is fake? But if we found the answer to this question it wouldn’t affect us at all. We would still go on living our lives. Just like the theory of evolution. If we find some more solid evidence of it then it would too not affect either. And we would still go on living out our days. I don’t believe in this simulation theory but I find it fascinating.

[travelingmind01-blog]

Norfolk, England 2017

This is a panorama I took in Norfolk. We went on a long walk towards the sea. I walked behind everyone so I could walk by myself. I often enjoy walking by myself so I can think and observe all the things around me. The sky was breathtaking. It looked never ending. It was enormous! I had never felt so small and weak. The overwhelming cloudy as well as clear sky had me thinking. It had me thinking that I was worthless. I was just a mere number in the population of Earth. I was almost nothing compared to everything else. The Earth was swallowing me up. But it also made me think of possibilities. I could do anything I wanted. One of my dreams is to travel the world by myself for a while. To live in the now. Sadly there’s a question about money and all that but I’m still 16 and can dream. Who knows? Maybe I can save up my money. But that’s beside the point. Anything felt possible. During this walk alone I also thought about finding a new path for myself. One that doesn’t follow everyone else. Why can’t I do this? Because I feel trapped inside this revolving world that relies on social media and our own electronics. I would give almost anything to turn social media into dust. We use our phones to get out of awkward situations. They are why our generation is not as sociable than past generations. Social media is why we rely on our phones. Likes and comments on our numerous accounts make us happy. It’s scientifically proven. I personally cannot take it anymore. My friends will just laugh at each others phones for hours. How have we let our society fall into this hole that we can no longer climb out of? Phones and social media have caused depression which can lead to self harm and suicide. It’s emotionally draining. There is way too much pressure to have a “perfect” life. After saying all of this I realize that I am a bit of a hypocrite. I have an Instagram where I post pictures of myself with my friends. But I still hold these opinions. I don’t Snapchat anyone because I think it’s stupid. But I am trying to give it all up. To let go. 

So, I took a walk in Norfolk England on a cold day. I thought about many things that affected me and probably affects all of you. But here’s something to keep in mind when you’re done reading this. Be yourself. Don’t let society pull you deeper into its hole. Just live how you want. Focus on the things that make you happy and the things that best portray who you are.

[travelingmind01-blog]

Annecy, France 2016

This is a picture from the summer of 2016. It was the summer before my first year in high school but I tried not to think about that at the time. This was probably my favorite summer ever. Nothing to worry about and no drama what so ever. It was amazing. That is why I adore traveling. I don’t have to deal with all the shit I get at home or how I feel when I am home. When you’re in a different country by yourself (or with just a couple people) no one knows who you are. You have a chance to rebuild yourself and create a new positive image for yourself. There are no boundaries and the only thing you can do is explore the unfamiliar. It’s just the best! 

You have these experiences which are unforgettable and stick with you your whole life. For instance when I went paragliding I felt free and I will never forget that feeling. There was a nice breeze that day so we glided over the mountains and through some clouds. My brother went paragliding with me. It was wonderful having him on the trip with me because I never see my brothers anymore. It’s nice to go on those family trips and leave everything behind at home. But it wasn’t even a family trip. It was just Harry, my mum, and me. That was amazing because we all got so close and had so many amazing experiences together. 

So, Annecy was a hit and I highly recommend it. You should go swimming in Lake Annecy because there are these beautiful mountains all around you! Be open to try new things. I mean you might as well because you’re not gonna have a second chance. Also go biking into town. It’s about 8 miles there and back but it’s beautiful and so much fun. You know what, just move there! 

Honestly, don’t you want to live somewhere out of the country? You would begin to adapt to their culture. It’s my dream. To leave everything behind and go out and actually live for once. Be open to new things. If you stick to what everyone else does in life then you will get absolutely nowhere. You would be like one of those people who peak in high school and then have no idea what to do with their lives later on. Just be yourself and see where life takes you. That’s such a cliché but why follow society? Be different and unique. It’s what you were “created” to do. Traveling can help you see sides of your personality that you never knew were there. It’s therapeutic and eye opening. Do it. What’s there to lose?

[travelingmind01-blog]

English Requirement - Last Chapter of Dog in the Night-Time

Chapter 239

I finished up at school. Receiving my A grade was very rewarding and I am excited for my next test. Father thinks I will do very well on it.

Father and I are getting along. I still don’t trust him but I am trying my best. Mother has split up with Mr. Shears because he was dangerous. Mother was feeling the same way I did when I thought Father could murder me. She now lives exactly 37 minutes away. This is so I can visit her more often without having to take the train all the way up to London. Even though Father and Mother still argue, they are trying their best to cooperate for my sake.

Mrs. Alexander visits frequently during the day to say hi. She usually brings some treats like fairy cakes and one night she brought Eton Mess. I consider her a friend now and not a stranger. My dog Sandy gets along with her dog very well. Because we are friends now I sometimes will bring Sandy on walks with Mrs. Alexander’s dog. Instead of chats we have full conversations about how my life is at home with Sandy and Father.

School is over now but I still study and practice every day for 2 hours for my next test. Father and I are working on building a treehouse. He thinks this is a good “bonding” activity. I am just excited to have my own place where I can escape off to at night and look at the stars. Father is also happy that we are building it because then I won’t run into the street at night.

At night time I have been studying the star constellations online so I know what I am looking at through my treehouse. This gives me a purpose to go outside at night apart from just wanting to get out of the house.

In the mornings, Father makes me a full english breakfast. There are red tomatoes, sausages, bacon, and yummy beans. It is so good. He makes me this full breakfast so he can sit and eat with me and make conversation. He also wants me to have a lot of energy for the upcoming day even if we are not making the treehouse.

Throughout summer days I try my best to calm myself down when something bad happens (like Father hitting his finger with a nail) by counting the prime numbers, breathing, and thinking of Sandy.

Anyways, right now life is going uphill in my graph of the summer but just naturally it feels good. I am still excited for school to start again because I will get to see Siobhan. But then again I hate seeing all of the dumb students in school.

This finalizes my book for class.  Siobhan gave me a bit of an extension because I went through a lot of drama at home. I hope you enjoyed it because I enjoyed writing it. To think that I almost let Father throw it away in the bin that day. Funny. Anyways thanks for reading!