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Charting the Course of B&B Part 2 - The Journey

Continuing the rather ridiculous effort to graphically summarize the B&B relationship trajectory, this instalment focuses on the agonizing journey between feelings realization, and relationship initiation, viz. Seasons 5 and 6.

Note: The Y-axis follows a simple 0-100 progression. The categories at each milestone are plotted relative to each other against a range of 0 to 100 points. Entirely subjective.

Season 5: Keyword - 'Devotion'

The season where everything changes. This is where Booth has his blinders forcibly yanked off, and where Brennan can no longer compartmentalize the depth of her feelings. Through all the tenderness, the pining and the utter devastation which the two of them go through this season, one thing remains constant. They are absolutely devoted to each other's happiness over anything else, including their own.

I have changed the parameters for this season's graph to mirror the changes in the B&B dynamic itself. Attraction and trust already reached their peak. Feelings on the other hand have deepened into serious romantic love. With that however, come the opposing forces of hope and fear. And that's what the chart below depicts.

Representation:

Milestones considered:

S5-E1: "He sees the truth of you, and is dazzled by it." - Booth can finally acknowledge to himself that he loves Brennan. There's hope for a new beginning, tempered by the very real fear that the surgery and coma have changed Booth somehow. The 'attagirl' backtracking is frustrating, but at that point, the right thing to do.

S5-E5: "What goes on between us, should just be ours." - Iconic for a reason. This is Booth firmly creating a space which is just for the two of them. This is a possible pivot point - where I believe if either of them had the courage to declare, they would have started a romance much earlier.

S5-E7: "I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to help Booth." Self-explanatory. Nobody notices the little things about Booth the way Brennan does. At this point Booth has patience, and hope. His marksmanship test at the end is another possible pivot point.

S5-E8: "He's big and strong, but he needs someone." - Ah, Hank. Cutting to the heart of the matter. I believe this is the point at which Brennan begins to truly fear the depth of her feelings for Booth, and how far she will go for him.

S5-E12: "I will never forget what you did for him." - Case in point, how far Brennan is willing to go for him. And vice-versa - single-handedly breaking into a lab under Secret Service lockdown isn't something Booth does every day.

S5-E16: "I don't have your kind of open heart!" - Where all our hearts shattered. However, contrary to popular theory, I don't believe this is where Booth gave up.

S5-E19: "Then, in ignorance, I await my own surprise. Although the odds of it involving a commitment to another person are remote." - As much as I hate the trope of using jealousy to make a character recognize her feelings, I think this is where Brennan realizes the fact that the reality of Booth moving on is very different to the concept of it. Even here, I don't think Booth had lost hope. Brennan is more interested in his dates with Catherine than he is.

S5-E21: "Maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I'm involved with now." - Ouch. THIS is the beginning of Booth giving up on Brennan. Till now despite the rejection, Booth hasn't once stepped back in his devotion to Brennan. He ignored his heartbreak to give her the prom dance she wanted, he used his witch wishes for her happiness, in whatever form that may take, and he let go of his own trauma to help her get justice. But Brennan is pulling away, she says she can't deal with the deaths and murders any more. Her fear is at it's apex, and she can't see clearly. But to Booth, it looks like an ending.

S5-E22: "No, things have to change." - Yep, that's Booth's hope in a tailspin. Brennan needs a pause, a break, some distance to evaluate her mental state. But she can't communicate it the way she wants to, and Booth is too close to the issue to be able to see things from the right perspective. What she saw as an opportunity for a pause, he sees as her signal telling him he must move on. Crossed signals leads to a year and half of torment.

Season 6: Keyword - 'Inner Demons'

The BIG, notorious, controversial one. You either love this season or despise it. I love it. The character arcs for both of them are spectacular. They both face their worst demons and hit rock bottom, yet manage to climb their way out. Plus, in contrast to their usual dynamic, here Brennan is the one who is a rock to Booth through her own turmoil.

Almost every single episode in this season has a milestone. So much so that I have to use 2 graphs to chart out the course of this season. The first graph uses love, emotional distance and internal torment as parameters, whereas for the second graph we return to hope and fear, with the addition of anger.

It has to be noted that I have plotted each parameter as a composite of Booth's and Brennan's, even though at many points they are at absolute opposite ends of the scale.

Representation (A):

Milestones considered:

S6-E1: The return. Booth is distant, Brennan feels displaced. She's at a much healthier mental space now, but I don't think she had yet found the courage to name what she feels for Booth. But the man in question has moved on. Or so we are led to think.

S6-E2: Enter Hannah. The magnitude of Hannah's decision to CHOOSE him over everything else to someone with Booth's history is a separate post in itself. Suffice to say, Hannah coming to DC changed things drastically. The emotional chasm between B&B widens.

S6-E3: "Booth will give himself to you completely." - Ouch. Brennan speaks from experience. But Hannah is moving in, and there's no space for Brennan.

S6-E5: "So basically, you just saved my life." - They're Booth and Brennan. Distance is slowly being erased. The wall that Booth erected in Afghanistan between him and his feelings for Brennan receives a solid blow thanks to what she did for Hannah.

S6-E7: "But you agree that love is an idiot?" - Oh Brennan. Who are you trying to convince?

S6-E8: "Parker thought I was cool when I did the cannonball into the pool. Do you remember that?" - Bren, you're breaking my heart.

S6-E9: God.

S6-E11: Gravedigger gets shot, all Brennan can think about is Booth. The shell, her smile. Booth's protective wall beginning to disintegrate.

S6-E12: "There's only one person you love the most." - Oh Booth. I don't envy you.

Representation (B):

Milestones considered:

S6-E13: "The evidence says that there's something wrong here." - Booth's anger is frightening, but most of it is directed towards himself. Whatever hope he regained in Afghanistan, he's lost it. He's afraid that love just isn't on the cards for him. Brennan however, is the one holding out hope this time.

S6-E14: " Happy Valentine's Day Massacre, Booth". - The first ray of sunlight from beyond the dark, forbidding clouds.

S6-E15: "I just don't like the idea that my partner thinks that me and Jacob Broadsky are in any way alike." - One step forward, two steps back. Booth's internal struggle with his past and his mentor's turn to the dark side are doing nothing to help dampen his ever present anger. Brennan stands strong in the face of it.

S6-E16: "A time may come when you are no longer angry, and I am strong enough. Maybe then we could try and be together."

S6-E18: "Just because you can explain something doesn't mean its explicable. Like us. We don't make any sense at all."

S6-E20: "I never told you how much it meant that you stayed with me."

S6-E22: Doesn't need any further elaborating except that the fear now is losing each other without having had each other.

S6-E23: "I'm pregnant. You're the father."

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Charting the Course of B&B : How It Began

For nobody's sake but mine, I have decided to chart out the progress of the B&B relationship through the seasons.

Seasons 1 to 3: Keyword - 'Trust'

The foundational seasons, where the ever simmering physical attraction kept smashing up against the wall of 'I just don't understand this guy/girl'. But more importantly, the seasons where both of them, much to their shock, find that their partnership bears immediate fruit. And that the walls they keep around everyone else somehow don't seem to hold up in front of each other.

The graph below charts their attraction and trust levels over the 3 seasons through pivotal points where their partnership either grew or retreated significantly. It's my opinion that fledgling romantic feelings were present during this phase, but neither of them were aware of it.

Representation:

Milestones considered:

S1 - Point 1: "I knew you wouldn't make me a liar" (S1E5)

S1 - Point 2: Rescue from Kenton/"Why are you so nice to me?" (S1E15/E19)

S1 - Point 3: "With each shot we all die a little bit, Bones"/"I know who you are" (S1E21/E22)

S2 - Point 1: "Tony and Roxie" (S2E8)

S2 - Point 2: "I knew you wouldn't give up" (S2E9)

S2 - Point 3: "Everything happens eventually"/Rescue from Gallagher (S2E16/E18)

S2 - Point 4: Zack leaves for the Army/Max gets arrested/Aborted Hodgela wedding (S2E21)

S3 - Point 1: "Making love vs crappy sex" (S3E3)

S3 - Point 2: Smurfette/"I love my gift Booth"/"You are a fully developed man" (S3E7/E9/E11)

S3 - Point 3: Baby Andy/Max's trial/Checkerbox pre-shooting (S3E12/E13/E14)

S3 - Point 4: Booth's 'death'/Zack as Gormogon apprentice (S3E15)

Season 4: Keyword - 'Emotional Intimacy'

This where things start getting COMPLICATED. They start off rough, with Brennan having her walls up again after the deception of Booth's death. But when the last of the walls fall by the end of Con Man in the Meth Lab, the emotional enmeshment is cemented. The UST is also off the charts.

By the time this season ends, the trust between them has reached it's zenith. The attraction has never wavered, but this season is where the romantic feelings start to make their presence seriously felt. It's quite obvious that Dr. Wyatt was referring to Brennan when he posited that one of them was clearly aware of their feelings and struggled with it daily. Booth was deeper in denial even though he had brought Brennan completely into his life, his family and his history. Writing the story at Booth's bedside was Brennan's way of coping with the strength of her feelings which she didn't have the courage to examine or name. Perhaps she felt that putting a label to how she felt for Booth in a fictional world would exorcise the turmoil in the real world. Perhaps it was the only way she had to admit to herself.

Representation:

Milestones considered:

Ep 3: "There's someone for everyone, Bones, you just have to be open to see it."/"What's wrong with a surrogate relationship?"

Ep. 5: "You know the reviews to my books Booth, but do you read them?" "Every single word."

Ep. 9: "My father drank."

Ep. 11: 'Look at my little boy there, with your dad."

Ep. 14: Gravedigger rescue. Needs no explanation.

Ep. 21: Sharing of metaphorical scars, adopting their baby duck. There is no going back for either of them now.

Ep. 25: Brennan's baby, Booth's sperm. "Something is wrong Booth, trust me!"

Ep. 26: "You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. That's the burden."

In the next instalment:

Season 5: Keyword - 'Devotion'

Season 6: Keyword - 'Inner Demons'

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Spark in the Park - A Different Opinion

I've read quite a few people vilifying Booth for his treatment of the professor in this one. The man undoubtedly has moments when you want to reach through the screen and whack him with a bat (ugh Blood from the Stones is INFURIATING), but I honestly don't find this episode to be one of them.

I mean it is testament to Richard Schiff's superlative skills that the viewer is immediately drawn to his pain, but seriously, how do we ignore that he was, in fact, quite a poor father? Yes, Booth was short-sighted in the first meeting and far too unyielding and impatient to give the professor the time he needed to be ready to answer questions. Especially since, as Brennan later points out to him, his emotionally avoidant behaviour was pretty much a mirror to her own. Up till that point, fair criticism. He deserved that reality check.

But during that very meeting we find out that Amanda lost her mom barely a year ago, and yet she was the one taking care of her father more than the other way around. Think of it - no matter how talented a gymnast she is, Amanda is a CHILD. Then we find out that the intense pressure of being a prodigy led her into the weed trap, which her father was completely unaware of. Add to that, Hodgins discovers that Amanda visited her father on the very night she died, a fact which the professor apparently covered up. From an investigative angle, the professor is very clearly a person of interest at this time. Brennan seeing herself in the professor does not negate the fact that at this point, the EVIDENCE itself is clearly indicating him as suspicious.

The evidence paints a picture of a neglectful father who was far too wrapped up in his ivory tower and his own grief about his wife's death to consider that he has a child who needs him. No matter how sympathetic you are to him, he fails at being there for his daughter. And by equating her complete emotional playbook with him, I feel Brennan severely underestimates herself as a mother. She might think that she would be as aloof and withdrawn as Dr. Watters, but NO WAY would she fail to recognize Christine's emotional distress, or be unable to recall every single moment spent with her. Hell, she is better attuned to Parker than the professor was to Amanda!

People who think Booth's disdain for the professor was only a result of his non-standard reaction to the news of his daughter's death, overlook something glaring. Booth has NEVER reacted favorably to any parent, especially a father, who fails to be there for their children. In this very episode we are introduced to another father who pushed his child prodigy to the brink, to the end of being physically abusive. Booth reacts in a similar manner as he does to the professor, for pretty much similar reasons. Do we really think Booth, with his own heavy history of parental abandonment and neglect, would not draw parallels with the victim, and empathize with Amanda almost as strongly as Brennan did with the professor?

And it did NOT sit right with me that Brennan pretty much accused Booth and Sweets of manipulating the investigation to pinpoint the professor because they didn't understand how he operates. That was behaviour so far out of the left field for her - Booth's dedication to investigating a crime thoroughly irrespective of his personal feelings is something she herself has pointed out so many times. She wasn't acting like his partner in this episode. In most cases I'm in support of Booth's tendency to put aside his own feelings to validate Brennan's, but not in this one. I loved him encouraging her to go to the professor to lend him the sympathy only she could understandably provide, but he should not have accepted her assertion that he thought the professor was the killer. If anything, he was fixated on the coach.

At the end of it, in spite of the truly poignantly evocative eulogy in the equation, we still have a dead child, and a father who placed the emotional burden on his daughter and failed to notice her distress until too late.

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Cam - The Unsung

Booth should add Cam's name to his list of saints. That woman has one HELL of a thankless job as the administrator of the Medico-Legal lab. The irony of her position is that the better she does her job, the less it looks like her position is needed. And being the calm, steady one in a team full of highly individualistic, radical personalities means that her own specialized intelligence often gets ignored. When you have 'works-on-a different-plane-of-thought' Brennan, affable-yet-utterly-mad scientist Hodgins, and queen-of-lateral-thinking Angela on your team, your astute leadership skills and pathological expertise are not given their due importance.

Which is a bloody travesty. The Medico-Legal lab's job is not only to determine the truth, but also to make certain that the analysis can be utilized and presented successfully in court. Before Cam, the team was essentially a group of genius scientists working on individual remains on an as-is basis. Booth was correct in Season 2 when he told Brennan that Cam's objective is to ensure a successful prosecution. And in order to safeguard the findings of the team from being thrown out on a legal technicality, she is bound by the rules of the Justice Dept, the FBI and the Jeffersonian board. It sucks that time and again her team chastise her for doing so.

I mean the poor woman was treated like a traitor by her team for not lying to the authorities when Brennan was framed by Pelant. I mean, sure Angela, Cam should just lie about the evidence implicating Brennan. It's not like evidence in murder cases has a long chain of custody, and any fudging would be soon discovered. It's not as though Cam wouldn't immediately nuke her career and possibly her freedom by actively sabotaging a Federal murder inquiry.

And look - I love Hodgins but I'm surprised how fans of the show either ignore or simply brush over the times he blatantly uses his financial privilege without considering the ramifications to other people. I mean seriously, do we really think he would be so free to full off half his shenanigans if he wasn't the last scion of the Cantilever group, and thus enjoyed donor privilege? He regularly swipes items from other departments and exhibits, often without approval. He brews alcohol in Jeffersonian owned instruments and sets off minor explosions. His intentions are never ever malicious, and he is genuinely an adult version of the boy who loved to take everything apart to see how things worked. But let's face it - ANY other person would have faced severe consequences for these actions. Remember the Founder's Day party? It would have been Cam's job to take the heat for the decimated Mexican succulents and unauthorized drinking in the workplace. I wonder just how much she's shielded her team from - and whether she's ever been acknowledged.

Gods even in the episode where Wendell comes back after his chemo and lets Cam know that he takes medical marijuana to deal with the pain - did she have ANY recourse but to let him go? She stuck her neck out for Finn but Caroline bulldozed her, and with justifiable reason. She was stuck between the same rock and hard place with Wendell. And wow, the way Angela and Hodgins immediately painted her as a moustache twirling villain laughing at Wendell's pain infuriated me. They should realize how hypocritical their stance is - after all when Brennan left for Maluku and Booth for Afghanistan they had a proper cause and mission. Hodgins and Angela left simply because they could, and because they didn't want to put in the effort of breaking in a new team, however temporarily. Cam was left in the dust.

So here's to Camille Saroyan - woman of infinite patience, empathy and the ability to handle rambunctious adults. May she one day get the recognition she deserves.

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One of the few storylines in the latter seasons which tackled a heavy and complex issue with sensitivity. Booth is so used to being the rock for others that he forgets he needs one himself, too. And this was the culmination of trauma just piling up one after the other. The relapse was shown as inevitable, and the climb back out was given the proper gravitas. Love how Brennan's understanding of his illness and her faith in him did not stop her from taking the hard decision to protect Christine.

My heart broke for all three of them.

Bones 10x20 Deleted Scene

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I don't know if this was discussed when the episode aired, but in 7×13, I just can't wrap my head around Brennan's decision to confer with the paranoid schizophrenic mathematical genius who Pelant murdered and left to be eaten by wolves.

I mean, using a genius to combat a genius is fine, but keeping it from her partner?? Especially AFTER she realised Ethan saw Christine as a threat? Booth should have lost it at this blatant endangering of the case, herself, and most importantly, their daughter. I'm astounded that he didn't.

Also, no matter what, i can't be on board with Brennan taking Christine while on the run. She herself had no options remaining other than fleeing, but damn, taking Christine away from Booth like that is a decision that could have effectively ended them. They touched upon a bit of this in the first two episodes of Season 8, but it was all about her leaving. I guess that decision was a far bigger problem to tackle than the Ethan Sawyer one, but man, it still boggles the mind. Brennan, what were you thinking????

The overall pacing and storytelling of 7×13 is top notch, and if the Pelant arc had comprised only of 7×06, 7×13 and 8×01, he would have been one of the best villains of the series. Unfortunately, they stretched it too thin.

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This scene is as cute as a button, but it also touches upon one of my favorite facets of B&B as a couple - how they handle their individual wealth disparity.

The way Booth sees it, Brennan's wealth belongs only to her - she's earned it through her own work. They might be sharing their lives, a home, and a daughter, but he has no automatic right to it. Brennan, on the other hand, WANTS to splurge on him but recognizes his boundaries and doesn't push.

It took him till Season 11 to be comfortable with accepting the perks of having a best-selling author for a wife, whereas if Brennan had her way, she would have been buying first class tickets for him from Season 4. 😂😂

BONES | "The Heiress in the Hill"

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Bones: Patterns and Precedents - II

Sweets was a great friend to Booth and Brennan, but a lousy therapist.

One of my favourite scenes of Season 3 is in The Man in the Mud, where they are talking in the car on the way back from interrogating the father of the victim. In the context of not changing one’s mind once a decision is made, Booth refers to ‘no changies, no takebacks’.

Brennan: That whole business with changies and takebacks, that’s not true, is it?

Booth: No.

The implication of Booth’s line reverberates in the air, and my heart kind of breaks for Brennan. She accepted the barely leashed attraction much before Booth allowed himself to think of her that way. Despite Booth being completely reticent with his own dark past at this point, she understands the core of him better than he could have imagined.

My favourite example of this is in Player Under Pressure, when she staunchly refuses to let Booth place himself in the category of ‘stunted jocks who used women like playthings’.

Brennan: Even Cutler knew you were lying when you said you treated women like that, under the bleachers.

Booth: And you believe him?

Brennan: Yes, because you still remember that first girl’s name.   

Season 3 Brennan is perhaps my favourite of the early Brennans – she had her father and brother back, she had Zack back, and she had Booth all to herself. She was beginning to loosen the reins on her boundless sense of empathy and letting herself feel again. Simultaneously Booth starts to realise that Brennan sees him, truly sees him for who he is, and that perhaps he can let some of his controlled façade fall around her. If their relationship was in any way analogous to an ordinary relationship between two average people, this would be the initial dating and courtship period. I whole-heartedly believe that without outside interference, the line would have started being erased.

Enter Sweets and ‘partner therapy’.

I might be biased since I WILL be comparing every show therapist to Linda hereafter, but even within the bounds of this bias, Sweets falls short. I can buy the need for the FBI to require an objective evaluation for such a non-conventional partnership. But Sweets seems to have focused on their potential romantic overtones from the very beginning, rather than doing his job – evaluating the partnership. At the point he comes in, B&B as professional partners are solid and not a broken thing that needs fixing. Even when Sweets insists on a ‘double date’ to observe the partners in a non-work setting, it is his relationship which ends up being under the scanner, and the psychiatrist who ends up needing the help of his patients. Purportedly, he was there to ensure the professional boundaries would be maintained while B&B worked on opposite sides during Max’s trial, but once again, they didn’t need any outside help navigating that.

Sweets’ decision to keep Brennan in the dark about Booth after his shooting was frankly unforgiveable. That one decision unraveled all the emotional stability she had been shoring up in this season. With Zack following close on the heels of this incident, it’s no wonder she took a significant emotional step back in Season 4. Even though their partnership was intact, her banter towards Booth had an edge reminiscent of early Season 1. She’s just a smidge too snide, a mite too dismissive.

In Sweets’ defense, he was spot on with the ‘surrogate relationship’ observation in Man in the Outhouse. He noticed the utter, absolute trust displayed by Brennan towards Booth in Double Trouble. In Con Man in the Meth Lab, it was Brennan who fell short as Booth’s friend and Sweets who stepped up. In response, it is Brennan who steps up and fully assimilates Sweets into their makeshift family through the sharing of their darkest secrets.

This is all to say, Sweets as a part of the overall Jeffersonian-FBI family is perfect. But as a therapist? Booth’s coma ripped away the thick walls of denial he had built around his feelings for Brennan. Instead of gentling Booth through this upheaval, like a therapist SHOULD do, he casts heavy doubt on the validity of Booth’s feelings, only to then do an about turn and all but goad Booth into an impulsive gamble that almost destroyed things. Yes, Booth’s actions are his own – but dammit you expect to trust the advice of your long-term supposed therapist!

You might argue that a personal relationship with his patients is what prevents Sweets from acting as an objective therapist, but again, Dr. Linda Martin has already set the benchmark on how to be a great friend as well as an exceptional therapist.

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Bones: Patterns and Precedents

Almost a year after Lucifer ended, I decided to follow the Morningstar’s advice and binge Bones. Since the Devil has great taste, B&B certainly helped to soothe the heartache left by the show’s ending and its corresponding choices. Bones introduced me to another host of interesting, complex female characters, and I amused myself heartily with the thought of the Catholic altar boy interacting with the literal biblical Devil.

(And let’s be honest, fending off Satanic overtures because there’s no way Lucifer wouldn’t be head-over-heels attracted by Seeley Booth)

Streaming an older show years after its’ last airing date reveals certain patterns and dimensions to characters which would likely not have been apparent in the show’s original episodic run. Some of the most prevalent fan takes about Brennan and Booth around 2010-2011 are quite surprising, as are the general perceptions of the titular characters. Sometimes it’s understandable – weekly episodes along with the usual season hiatuses don’t really translate well to a continuous, consistent narrative in the viewer’s mind. Other times I wonder if some of the popular takes would hold water if replicated in a current show.

With that out of the way, here are some subtle patterns which seemed to jump out at me.

Brennan’s most defining relationship pre-Booth is not Sully, but Stires.

To an objective eye, Michael Stires absolutely is a creep who took advantage of Brennan’s naivete. But he is also the quintessential brilliant young professor, a certified expert in her chosen field. To Brennan, who has always only known ostracization from her peers for her genius, he is the one person who not only appreciated, but actively honed her brilliance and talent. From the perspective of a young Brennan, he is her guide, her champion, and her coach. Her relationship with him isn’t a surprise and starts to make much more sense once we are introduced to Russ.

For the longest time, Russ was Brennan’s male role model. The older brother with his own significant social capital who had no qualms extending his metaphorical protective wing over his socially marginalised little sister. The brother whose support and protection she had absolute faith in – until the day he disappeared, shattering her heart, her trust and whatever little was left of her world in one fell swoop. It would have been devastating for any neurotypical teenager, but for Brennan it was almost catastrophic.

Is it thus any wonder that Brennan’s first serious ‘relationship’ was with an older man who was her teacher in every way, and in some ways, I’m sure acted as a protector? It was obvious that in contrast to all other subsequent relationships where Brennan pulled the trigger, it was Stires who taught her that emotions were illogical distractions and have no place in a truly efficient relationship. Brennan’s survival drive had already repressed most of her emotional centers, strong as they were, and Stires’ teachings solidified her transactional view of relationships. This stands her in good stead when Stires finally shows his true colors – she was genuinely pleased to see him again initially. His betrayal put things into perspective for her and cemented her ambivalent view on relationships.

Sully on the other hand, was very clearly only a transitory figure in Brennan’s life. By Season 2, Brennan was already infatuated with Booth. Their emotional connection is yet to reach its peak, but it is there, and the physical attraction has been smoldering from the very beginning. The Girl in the Gator takes place immediately after the final Epps episode, and Booth’s infamous ‘line’ conversation. It’s only when you watch the episodes in sequence that you realise how deeply she internalised that proclamation. It was a knee-jerk reaction by Booth, brought about by his own fears and insecurities, but Brennan had no way of knowing that. From her perspective, she wants him, but he doesn’t want her back, and that’s that.

So, what happens when Sully comes on the scene? Here’s a guy who at least on the surface has all of Booth’s best qualities. He’s also an FBI agent, charming, interesting and a genuinely good guy. He’s respectful of Brennan’s abilities. And in contrast to Booth, he is open about his interest in her. Naturally, Brennan projects all the confusing Booth feelings she doesn’t have an outlet for on Sully. He doesn’t have Booth’s formidable history with her, nor does he challenge her the way Booth does. He doesn’t have that ineffable connection – but he is deferential, kind, and good to her in the short time they were together. In the end though, he doesn’t imprint on her anywhere.

I do think Gordon Gordon had it exactly right when he said that Brennan’s inability to lead a purposeless life is what made her refuse Sully’s proposal to sail away with him. What he didn’t add was that she had already found a shared life purpose with Booth, and a connection which existed on its’ own plane, beyond any labels. Before either of them could define it as love, they both knew it was the most important connection they would ever have with another person.

(Additionally, I find the fan discourse that Sully was wrong for leaving her behind utterly hypocritical – it was clear that his dream was a long standing one, and a relationship of a few weeks, irrespective of the pull, should never come in the way of that.)

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Lucifer S6 - A Question of Purpose

Now that it's been more than a month, I'm in a place where I can start to deconstruct the morass of complicated feelings I have over the ending of Lucifer. You know, without devolving into a sobbing mess or screaming an endless series of 'WHYYYYYYY' at my cat.

Truth is - I fully expected a mortal separation between Lucifer and Chloe at some point of time. A traditional happily ever after on Earth was never going to work out for good, and not only because of the whole celestial-mortal angle. The crux comes down to something Linda had pointed out way back in S2:

Lucifer's story is him searching for something, something that he found in LA. The obvious inference might be that it was love and acceptance that he was looking for, and he found that in Chloe, and by extension, the rest of his human family. And while that's not inaccurate, I will say that what he has been searching for across eons, and across generations of human history, is himself.

Lucifer has been vocal and insistent on the fact that the Devil is NOT what he is painted out to be in scripture and religion. But ironically, until the end of S6, he had no idea how to define who he actually is instead. For someone who holds the idea of individual identity and choice as more sacred than you know, literal GOD - he has subconsciously identified himself through others monikers and ideas. He's the Sower of Chaos, the Lord of Hell, the King of Desire etc etc etc. And these may be his parts, but we are not just the sum of our parts. Neither is Lucifer.

What did he find in LA? Freedom - to choose his home, how to occupy his time, who to interact with. People who either immediately, or ultimately, saw behind his title, his money and his facade. And a desire to change, to be better, to find how to be happy. All of which ultimately circles back to finding who he truly is.

And this brings me to the question of purpose. While I did find Chloe's decision to quit the LAPD in 5B noble yet quite hasty, she was bang on about one thing - Lucifer HAS been helping her do HER job for years. His occupation, or time on Earth not spent in debauchery, was spent essentially in service to HER purpose. And for all the joy that brought them (and us as fans), once Lucifer found HIS true purpose, there is no conceivable way to justify him continuing to stay on Earth as her partner while neglecting that which truly only he can do.

Now does that mean a complete separation? No. But the absolute ideal of him staying back with Chloe, raising Trixie and Rory with her and having the family he has been yearning for all the while being Hell's therapist as a day job? I just can't get behind that - since I do NOT think helping souls navigate their guilt is anywhere similar to what a traditional therapist does. We did see it in the third episode - following a soul's source of guilt is often following them through a non-linear confounding maze of their whole life before being able to identify what their key trigger point is. There's no set path, or time period, or process to that.

Also - hell time. And yes, I know this is one of the massively confounding plot points which the writers either hand waved away or hoped 'not the same as Earth time' would be a decent enough explanation. Well, it's definitely NOT an explanation. The show is over and we still have no idea whether time in Hell has a set proportional value to Earth time, whether it fluctuates, or if it is even linear. I lean towards the 'fluid, non-linear' side of things because frankly I doubt the laws of physics hold there. So just taking into consideration there is no synergy between the two planes in terms of time - the conventional 'life' together would anyway not have been possible, with or without Rory and her illogical time-travelling bullshit.

Could they have had the mother of all LDRs? Ideally, yes. It would not be anywhere close to a full life, and would be difficult to time to an exact science. The way Lucifer's spoken of his Earth jaunts, his perception of Earth time rarely was more accurate than to the year. Considering what Joe and Ildy say, this is in essence what happened (if you consider post show writer remarks to be canon which for the sake of my happiness, I will do so).

In the end, it comes down to two people knowing what they're meant to do, wanting to do it, and yet their purposes ultimately pulling them away from each other. Chloe rejoining the LAPD because she finally sees the rot which was hidden behind her idealistic view of law and justice is so true to her character. Somehow, I cannot see Lucifer identifying with that purpose the way he did with her regular job of hunting down criminals. It would be unfair to Lucifer, his growth, and undoubtedly to Chloe. And while Chloe undoubtedly admires his calling and would always be supportive of it - HER true calling is in doing her bit to clear the rot within the institution which is a core part of her identity. Her choosing to be Lucifer's partner in the afterlife speaks true to their love, their respect and their unending partnership. At some point their paths DID diverge - and I don't see how else it could have been.

Does that mean I'm uncritical of all aspects of S6? Bloody NO. Rory WAS unnecessary, even though I absolutely loved all her scenes. Never ever would I have thought I would LIKE seeing the Devil as a father, but well. Although as with most other fans, I wanted to see his emotional growth as a pseudo-parent with Trixie, and I'm certain Rory was meant to fill the space which the showrunners knew would be there due to Scarlett's unavailability. The whole time-travel/time-loop drama is, to borrow from Lucifer's phrasebook, utter bollocks. But where I think the majority of fan despair lies is in Deckerstar being separated AGAIN, life on Earth being deemed an unimportant blip compared to the eternity of afterlife and Lucifer and Chloe respectively being alone for no strong reason.

I agree with all of the points, and won't ever try to justify them, not even to myself. But I guess it's slightly easier for me to make peace with the separation - NOT because 'life is a blip', but because both Lucifer and Chloe's ultimate purpose is such.

And well, they ARE partners to the end.

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Probably my favourite underrated moment of S6E5 - Chloe's face when Lucifer mentions the price tag of the pour of Macallan.

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Lucifer S6 Inference 1

Chloe calls Trixie 'baby' but Rory 'honey' - that's because that is Lucifer's pet name for Chloe. A tiny way to create the connection between the two of them.

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Very close to how I justify it in my head. For once the lack of interstitial scenes leading up to monumental decisions works, since fans are free to imagine how they get from A to B.

Lucifer was right when he said that he would do anything for Chloe except give her up. He was also right when he said he would never choose to abandon his daughter. BUT being who he is means that superceding all else, he would always, always put HER choice first. It is a tragic irony that all of these intersected the way they did.

The fact that Lucifer and Chloe are together for eternity is a balm, making peace with their separation before that is a work in progress.

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I don't know whether it's the finality of the show ending, or just the utter maelstrom of emotions this last season's elicited but I genuinely feel like I'm going through a grieving process.

I think I've made my peace with one aspect, and then another sucker punches me.

I stop sobbing over the piano scene - and then I remember Chloe walking down the precinct steps with her box of belongings and going back to her old desk but with Lucifer never to sit at her side again. Deal with that, and I think of Lucifer in his Hell simulation of Linda's office having a minor emotional realisation and walking out eagerly to deal with it only to be confronted by the unending, ashy corridors.

I think of Lux and how the newcomers to the club will never hear Lucifer perform again. I think of the precint and how the rookies will hear of the legend of the Lucifer-Chloe partnership but never witness it themselves.

I think of Trixie looking at their board games and not bringing them out since it won't be the same without Lucifer. I think of her being angry at him at first, but then she sees that her mom is - if not completely happy, atleast not the wreck she was when he left the first time. I think of Chloe telling her the full story when she thinks Trixie is old enough - because it's too difficult to lie to both her daughters - and Trixie trying her best to be supportive. She doesn't understand fully but she promises never to tell Rory the truth. She desperately regrets her word when a young Rory comes to her big sister and cries for the first time about why her Dad never comes to see them. She thinks she understands what this costs her mom and Lucifer.

I think of Amenadiel and Lucifer meeting up regularly to compare notes. Lucifer is Amenadiel's sounding board for the changes he's implementing, and Amenadiel is Lucifer's proxy presence for all those he left behind. He visits Chloe sometimes - never at her house, or at Linda's, but at Maze and Eve's.

Lucifer visits Earth relatively regularly at first - but then every time he does he can't help but calculate how old Rory would be. Each time it gets that much harder to stop himself from going to see his little girl. One of his visits coincides with Rory's birthday entirely by accident - and that's when he breaks. He goes back to Hell and throws himself into the Healing loops - he doesn't need to eat or sleep he can keep going, loop after loop after loop. And he does. Time never has any meaning down there anyway, and when he finally manages to get his head out from under the water, he finds that ten years have gone by on Earth and Linda is gone. His baby girl is now in her late teens and despises his existence. Trixie is now a grown woman with her own life and lives halfway across the country. He doesn't visit Chloe.

He doesn't go back to Earth for quite some time. He still goes up to Heaven, to see the siblings he likes, and to talk to Dan. When Linda makes it up there, he tells her about the system he's set up for souls to work through their guilt. It's not therapy as we know it on Earth, but it's Lucifer style therapy designed around Hell's needs. She's so proud of him.

He never stops waiting.

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I have lost count of how many times I've rewatched this scene inspite of the fact that I'm invariably a sobbing mess afterwards. It's not often that a beloved show's actors love the characters JUST as much the fans do and make it SHOW on screen.

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Take me back to the start 😭😭😭

partners til the end